Detective Steve Rogers

Modern AU Steven Rogers of Marvel Comics. Written by Jenn

[brooklynsprotector-blog]

"I lie to everybody; what makes you so special?"

"I can take you to jail.”

[chrisevanssource]

[brooklynsprotector-blog]

The Mummy Inspired Starters

"Looks to me like you're on the wrong side of the river."

"Compared to you, the other plagues were a joy."

"I've dreamt about this since I was a little girl."

"Is he supposed to look like that?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"That's called stealing, you know."

"No harm ever came from reading a book."

"I lie to everybody, what makes you so special?"

"I only gamble with my life, never my money."

"Of course I can swim if the occasion calls for it."

"And you think this justifies the killing of innocent people?"

"The only thing that scares me are your manners."

"It is better to be the right hand of the devil than in his path."

"This just keeps getting better and better."

"I think you found something."

"You always did have more balls than brains."

"After what I just saw, I'm willing to go on a little faith here."

"That happens a lot around here."

"Some bloody idiot spilled his drink."

[brooklynsprotector-blog]

[ text: wrong number ]: Yeah no [ insert muse name ] and I are just friends. [ text: wrong number ]: [ Insert muse name ] doesn’t mean anything to me. Stop worrying. [ text: wrong number ]: Don’t worry, I’m sick of him/her, I’m done. [ text: wrong number ]: It’s just a game to me. [ text: wrong number ]: Sometimes I’m just glad [ insert muse name ] and I are over. [ text: wrong number ]: I hate [ insert muse name ] so much. [ text: wrong number ]: [ Insert muse name ] doesn’t mean a thing to me. [ text ]: Sometimes I get tired of all this. [ text ]: You’re not worth it. [ text ]: Why don’t we not talk for a while? [ text ]: I’m done. [ text ]: Don’t come near me. [ text ]: How can you do this to me? [ text ]: If you don’t know what you want then I do— out. [ text ]: Do you feel good knowing you have this power over me? [ text ]: Why don’t you go to him/her instead? [ text ]: I don’t care about you. [ text ]: Stop kidding yourself. [ text ]: Did you really think you mattered? [ text ]: Don’t bother [ text ]: I knew this wasn’t going to last. [ text ]: I don’t think I can do this anymore. [ text ]: I don’t care. [ text ]: You never mattered. [ text ]: I never mattered to you. I know that now. [ text ]: I see the way you look at him/her. [ text ]: Stop wasting my time. [ text ]: You’re just a waste of time. [ text ]: I don’t want to hear it. [ text ]: You’re a monster. [ text ]: I was wrong. [ text ]: You don’t care, do you? [ text ]: Don’t pretend that you care. [ text ]: Stop. Just stop. [ text ]: I don’t want you back. [ text ]: I hate you. [ text ]: You know, I’m glad we’re ever. [ text ]: I’m tired of waiting.

[rp-ask-box-memes-blog-blog-blog]

In honor of Sexual Sunday ask my muse Sex based questions.

[yynneessmons]

[sorcererxsupreme-deactivated201]

"You are boring, Rogers."

[brooklynsprotector-blog]

"Maybe I am... or maybe you're just perverse."

[brooklynsprotector-blog]

{open}

[sorcererxsupreme-deactivated201]

"Well, there is hitting on you and then, it’s me asking you to either get me money or get undressed for my enjoyment and you’ll get an authority to testify against that man.

Take it or leave it, Rogers.”

[brooklynsprotector-blog]

"I'm going with none of the above, and I'm going to find a different way around this. I'm not pimping myself out for a break in a case."

[brooklynsprotector-blog]

sorcererxsupreme replied to your post“wanna play some basketball? We can both be skins.”

"You sound like you don't want the thing."

"I definitely do not want the thing."

[brooklynsprotector-blog]

becowardedspecialist replied to your post:"You wanna dance, hot dog?"

[ it’s too late. hot dog is officially detective rogers nickname. ]

Greeaaatttttt, bahahahah.

[brooklynsprotector-blog]

"You wanna dance, hot dog?"

"Please don’t ever, ever say that again.”

[womanwithagun-blog]

It is pretty pathetic in her small ‘office’ of hers, wasn’t it? She tried not to dwell on it, didn’t see a point anymore. She’d been down there for long enough, had started to ignore the surroundings. It was easier. “I like hot dogs,” she confirms with a nod of her head, walks out from behind her desk with a quirk of a smile. “Lead the way then, Captain.” Yes, she was going to continue calling him that, she decided. Why? Peggy didn’t really have a reason, done so anyway.

[brooklynsprotector-blog]

"Excellent, you're gonna love this guys dogs." Steve headed for the door into the stairwell, shrugging on his leather jacket that he'd taken off earlier. Pausing for a moment in the doorway, he glanced back at her. "Might wanna watch who else is around when you call me that," he chuckled. "Someone might get pissed... I, however, won't." Turning back around, he led the way back up onto the main floor, and then out onto the busy sidewalk outside. The roads were teaming with cars, and sidewalks with people. But that was New York for you. "This way," he said to her, jerking his head to the left before he headed in that direction.

[brooklynsprotector-blog]

NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM STARTERS

"End of the line, cool breeze."

"All right! Let's do this, people! And... animals! And... weird faceless puppet creatures!"

"Oh. That's problematic."

"Why are you slapping a monkey?"

"Some men are born great, others have greatness thrust upon them."

"This is not worth $11.50 an hour!"

"I'm gonna shoot you in your dang eye. In your dadgum eye."

"A little birdie told me somebody likes... magic."

"Don't let anything in or out."

"We may be small but our hearts are large... metaphorically speaking."

"I ain't quittin' you!"

"He looks like a weirdie."

"Are you crackin' wise?"

"Moving on."

"I told you, I don't like to be manhandled!"

"Now stop whining and take it like a man!"

"Don't be a kiss-ass."

"You don't seem very bad. You just seem sort of vaguely grouchy to me."

"I just feel as if I've been asleep for along time and now suddenly I'm awake."

"This is a no-touching zone!"

"It was shorter in Egyptian."

"Is that you breathing? Because I can't hear myself think."

"He is not a friendly. I repeat, NOT a friendly!"

"Whoever you are, Archie Bunker, you had one comfortable throne."

"Don't cross this line with your hand!"

"If you speak again, I'm going to kill you."

"You haven't been able to take your cheaters off my chassis since we met."

"Did they run out of jokes at the interesting-joke store that you shop at?"

"My hair is considered currency in certain parts of Europe."

"That mustachioed horseman ain't always gonna be there to protect you! You hear me?!"

"Bully! Gotcha, boy."

"It's just for decoration."

"Don't talk down to me!"

"For the love of Gideon, stop wallowing in self-pity."

"Yeah, it's cool. It's freakin' awesome!"

"You wanna dance, hot dog?"

"You ain't gettin' rid of us that easy."

"Who's evolved?"

"The Guardian of Brooklyn has returned!"

"I HAVE COME BACK TO LIFE!"

"We're Americans! We don't plan, we do!"

"I'm a person just like you."

"But won't yelling "Attack!" alert the enemy that we are about to attack?"

"Any questions not about the dress?"

"Why do you look at me when you say "short"?"

"Oh, you naive American man-boy."

"Steady, my friend. Just stay alive! I will find you!"

"I'm sorry, I can't take you seriously. You're just adorable."

[brooklynsprotector-blog]

[MSG:] Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.

[Text: Pegs] No, it doesn’t.[Text: Pegs] But if it isn’t you, it’s hilarious to watch unfold.

[womanwithagun-blog]

“Honestly, it’s not that bad,” It is that bad. She can’t deny it that much longer, as much as she wants to. There’s nothing good about being down here, minus the fact she’s not surrounded by most of the idiots that work above and below her. That’s a positive she’s not looking to change. Confusion passes over her face, eyebrows pulling together. “We’re going out—what? Where?” She’s standing up anyway, because well… she can’t exactly find it within herself to say no.

[brooklynsprotector-blog]

"It is that bad, which is why we're getting you out of here for a little while... you like hot dogs? I know the best place to get some with the works..." Steve was angling for food, as he always was, it's a miracle he looks the way he does. But he also had some interviews to conduct in regard to a recent case. Would do to have a second opinion. And, maybe it was a little bit of a test with which he knew she would pass.

[brooklynsprotector-blog]

Terrible Pick-Up Lines Meme

"Do you know what would look good on you? Me."

"Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face."

"Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?"

"Hey, want to play house? I could be the door, and you could slam me all night long."

"How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?"

"I do floors, doors, windows, and you."

"I wish you were a screen door, so I can slam you all day long."

"If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?"

"Is that crotch sweat, or are you just happy to see me?"

"If I was a skateboard and you were a ramp, I would grind you all night."

"If I was your coworker, I'd sexually harass you."

"If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?"

"I’m tired. You’re tired. Let’s sleep together!"

"Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked."

"Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down."

"Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, 'Fuck it'."

"My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it."

"Remember my name. you'll be screaming it later."

"Roses are red, violets are blue. I like spaghetti, let's go screw."

"That dress looks very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I'd be coming, too."

"Wanna play some football? We can both be skins."

"What are you doing tonight? Besides me?"

"Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under."

"You are what you eat, and tonight I want to be you."

"You must be a cold shower, because I'd love to be inside of you."

"You must not have air conditioning because I'm your fan and you're turning me on."

"You remind me of my pink toe; you're small, you're cute, and I'm probably going to bang you on my coffee table later tonight."

"You wanna go skinny dipping in my water bed?"

[brooklynsprotector-blog]

text message reaction

[MSG:] What part of “he tried to put his dick in my ear” do you not understand?!

[MSG:] Okay, so next time, maybe use a tighter knot?

[MSG:] HOW DO YOU LOSE A CONDOM MID-INTERCOURSE?!

[MSG:] As he was cumming he yelled “Yahtzee” then said I was free to go. That was my one night stand.

[MSG:] “Sorry” doesn’t fix the chafing around my asshole!

[MSG:] Relax, just get some good concealer and no one will even notice the bite marks.

[MSG:] Okay, so apparently asking a boy “who’s your mommy?” doesn’t have the same affect as “who’s your daddy?”.

[MSG:] He asked “who’s your daddy” and I said I don’t know.

[MSG:] If I pick up a girl, and then she picks up a guy, and we all leave together, did I pick up the guy?

[MSG:] On the upside, that’s one less thing on our sexytimes bucket list!

[MSG:] Come hell or highwater we WILL manage to have sex at work without getting caught one of these days.

[MSG:] Next time you’re taking nude pics for me, maybe glance around the room to make sure your MOM’S NOT THERE.

[MSG:] Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.

[MSG:] SLUTTIEST. HALLOWEEN. EVER.

[MSG:] I can’t believe you fell asleep in the middle.

[MSG:] Dude, I’ve got to get back on her good side. I’ve tried masturbating… it’s not the same.

[MSG:] Long story short, we had to call the fire department to get the handcuffs off.

[MSG:] I told you not to buy lube from a tourist shop!

[MSG:] What’s never happened before? The premature ejaculation or the ten minutes of crying afterwards?

[MSG:] So not only did my roommate NOT leave when he saw I had a girl there, HE STARTED SHOUTING BITS OF ADVICE.

[MSG:] Walked in on my boss nailing his secretary on the copy machine. It’s gonna be a VERY awkward meeting tomorrow…

[MSG:] Mom found our “collection.”

[MSG:] I don’t even know if I LIKE sober sex anymore.

[MSG:] Banging your kid’s teacher never ends well.

[MSG:] Her dad came home when we were “busy” so I ended up jumping out her window and getting dressed while I ran up the block to my car. FML

[MSG:] It’s just one of those days where I’m too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.

[MSG:] Turns out I’m not as bendy as I thought… it was fun trying, though!

[MSG:] We rented a porno to get ideas. Long story short… we need a new showerhead.

[MSG:] Never take sex advice from your older brother.

[MSG:] Any recommendations for how to tell your girlfriend about the pics of her sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?

[MSG:] HE WAS LOOKING RIGHT AT ME. JACKING OFF. ON A PUBLIC CITY BUS. I SHIT YOU NOT.

[MSG:] Speaking French in bed SOUNDS hot, but turns out I only know “baguette” and “bonjour.”

[MSG:] So the threeway turned out to be a twoway while the third one sat and watched in a chair.

[MSG:] NEVER ANSWER THE PHONE IN THE MIDDLE OF SEX EVER AGAIN

[MSG:] We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.

[MSG:] Long story short, she’s passed out, we’re both naked, I’m gagged and can’t get the knot undone, we’re in the closet at her mom’s house. SEND HELP.

[MSG:] Also, I’ve finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is okay.

[MSG:] I’m sorry I laughed. But, honey, you were trying to give me a striptease and you tripped on your pants!

[MSG:] So today I found out my mom’s dating my ex-boyfriend, and she’s kinkier than I am. Fuck divorce.

[MSG:] Well, I never thought in the future I’d be able to say “hey remember that Easter when I made porn?”

[MSG:] I have to admit, I’ve never heard of more than two people watching porn together…

[MSG:] I don’t think bruises are supposed to turn green.

[MSG:] That girl’s pussy is like White Castle, you crave it once in awhile, but next morning you regret eating it.

[MSG:] Never sneeze while eating a girl out.

[MSG:] I know he was trying his best to be sexy, but Johnny Depp, he is not.

[MSG:] PENISES ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE THAT OH MY GOD

[MSG:] So it turns out he’s not into bondage.

[MSG:] I’m straight, but shit happens.