.

[brooksbuch]

 H A Z E L .

hazel shook her head and shrugged her shoulders, “oh, it was nothing really. mostly just me sharing my thoughts out loud. like I was thinking about getting a tattoo, but if I get one where you can see it, then I’d have to color it up for work and then what’s the point of having it.” she laughed. “like I said—just my thoughts out loud.” she gestured towards the paper than he tucked away. “that paper must be really important to zone you out– is it a note or something?”

he smiles. a conversation he can get behind, thank god for hazel. she just unknowingly took his mind off of the letter, even for a moment, that was relief. “ah the good ole internal debate about tatoos.” he had many, a half sleeve on his left arm. “wanna know something?” he shows her his tatoos that are visible. “when you have tattoos they become a part of you, you forget that they’re there sometimes, it’s still your skin just with a drawing y’know? it’s not gunna matter to you whether you gotta cover it up at work or not, it’ll still be with you, and the ones you get in hidden spots are gunna be forgotten as much as the ones you can see every day no matter what you put on.” he winks, it’s good advice he thinks, she should just go ahead and get one. “raphael is a tattoo artist, i could set you up with him, yeah? he could do some stencils on you, so you can see what it’d look like.” him and raphi are pretty close, they’ve known each other since he was in diapers. back the paper huh? damn. things were just getting interesting. “uh, nah. it’s just an acceptance letter for a job i applied for, nothing major, i don’t really wanna dwell on it.”

[brooksbuch]

a m e l i a ,

the  guy  looks  like  he’s  shaking  from  emotion,  or  nerves,  or  both.  she  feels  bad.  “if  it  matters  to  you,  they’ll  be  happy.”  it’s  not  always  black  and  white,  she  knows  that,  but  she  kind  of  understands  more  than  one  might  think.  “even  they  don’t  like  it,  you  know?  and  if  they  can’t  support  you …  you  don’t  need  that  negativity  in  your  life.”

a pause. maybe this kid is right. even if his family doesn’t like it, they’ll still support him, right? he likes to think they will. “you’re actually speaking some really good advice there kiddo.” a small smile. he thanks her for lifting a little bit of the pressure and worry off his shoulders. “thanks...amelia, right? you’re mr. joel’s little one?”

[brooksbuch]

l o r e l e i ,

Lorelei wants to say she isn’t even the least bit hurt by his obvious lie. She should have been used to the cold shoulders from her brother, even if she didn’t know why he gave them to her. It seemed like every time she tried connecting with him he had his guard up. “That paper you hid in your pocket,” she explained pointing over to where he had stuffed it. “What, is it some big secret?”

it wasn’t that he didn’t trust lorelei, he did. he just didn’t trust the information in her hands, her celebrity status made it a bit hard for some of their family secrets to stay, secret. which wasn’t her fault, he let out a small sigh. “no, not from you.” he’s trying to lighten up, what’s the worst that can happen? maybe his parents won’t care after all if he decides to offer up to them that he’s dropping out of law school to be a police officer, the bachelor’s he already has isn’t really going to waste he tells himself because, police officers are still in the law field, so, at least school wasn’t a total waste, right? he knows they’ll be more upset about him dropping out of school than the actual career switch but with all the safety issues within the family since their dad’s incident, he doubts that they’ll be thrilled for him to voluntarily put himself in potential daily danger. “just uh, an acceptance letter.” he doesn’t want to say too much, he’ll let her read it instead, he pulled the letter out of his pocket, hands it over to the other blonde and waits for a reaction.

[brooksbuch]

l o r i ,

It wasn’t like she was used to being the center of attention or anything, though she often was thanks to her celebrity status, she was more confused as to why she had been disregarded altogether as she approached her brother. She watched as he quickly tucked a piece of paper into his pant pocket, placing her hands on her hips, “Nothing. What was that?” 

fuck. if there was anyone else in this world who could replace lori being the one to notice him clearly failing at hiding his acceptance letter, he’d take that chance in a heartbeat. in simpler terms, she’s the last person he wants to know. “what was what?” he’s winging it, doesn’t know where or how far playing dumb is gunna take him but he’s not coming up with any other ideas on the spot.

[brooksbuch]

o l i v i a ,

the  words  ’  then  what’s  the  look  on  your  face  for?  ’  are  on  the  tip  of  her  tongue,  but  he  speaks  —  thank  god  because  olivia  doesn’t  really  do  the  whole  comfort  thing,  and  she  was  fully  prepared  to  run  away  if  it  was  something  actually  bad.  "what,  is  it  around  the  world  or  somethin’?“

he laughs. “nah, nothing like that.” he’s glad he supposes, it would be worse if he had to travel across the country or world too. “i’m gunna be a police officer soon, and my uh, my family probably won’t go for it.” he shrugs. “but i’m my own man, so, i just don’t know how soon i’m ready to actually have the confrontation.”

[brooksbuch]

j u l i e t t e ,

“I was just praising whoever invented pacifiers.” She said as she returned to the living room after spending at least half an hour trying to put her son to sleep. The first person she had reached out to weeks after giving birth had been her older brother. She had needed him to know why she couldn’t be there supporting their father during the incident. She would’ve never wanted to be a disappointment, a daughter or sister that could let them down when they needed to be together the most. And sharing with him the news of her newborn had been a way of unknowingly seeking forgiveness. And company. If she were to be the next target, she needed someone to know that they should be trying to look after her son instead of wasting tears on her.  “Will you share that with me or will I have to wait and do the laundry in hopes you’ve forgotten it in there the next time you take those off?” She asked, moving her curious eyes to meet his before sitting down. “Don’t worry, I can break the ice letting them know they’re grandparents. They will be so taken aback that whatever you may need to share next won’t beat it.” She joked lightheartedly, shaking her head with a soft smile. “Consider it, it’s your chance to confess you’ve always hated mum’s apple pie.”

he chuckles, brooks isn’t a dad but he imagines it’s similar to being the eldest brother of many, not to mention so, he understands the importance of a pacifier in certain situations. he’s only just now adjusting to the news that he’s an uncle, he certainly thought this moment in his life would have played out differently but, either way he’s grateful for his sister’s return, her safety, and of course the surprise that is his nephew, his nephew that he loves so much already. brooks genuinely considers telling her, he looks at the piece of paper and shrugs. fuck it, right? if it’s safe to tell anyone it’s definitely gunna be the sister who’s been in hiding and suddenly pops back up with a whole kid. he’s pretty confident she’s not one to judge him. “uh, the police academy.” he gives a firm smile, awkward. “I- I got in, accepted, whatever.” he sighs. “I uh, I don’t think with this whole dad getting shot, and the lawyer shit in general that anyone’s gunna be very happy with my career path but...” he doesn’t know what to say next so he just shrugs.

[brooksbuch]

n o v a ,

there was a small pang of guilt in her for snapping at them. but the guilt was over come quickly when he inserted himself into the situation. it gave her a sense of validation; maybe she wasn’t completely wrong for snapping at them. if other people agreed with her, she couldn’t be one hundred percent wrong and that was all that mattered. “thank you,” she muttered out, still angry from her confrontation. “yeah, i’m just fucking dandy.” she sighed, rubbing at her temples. “really, thank you.”

brooks  nodded  his  head  in  acknowledgement  of  her  ‘thank  you’.  he  was  still  keeping  watch,  he  wanted  to  physically  see  each  one  of  them  leave  far  enough  to  where  they  couldn’t  bother  nova.  “no,  it’s  okay.”  he  reassures  her,  he  would’ve  done  it  for  any  woman.  he  was  raised  that  way  or  whatever,  anything  he’d  do  to  protect  his  sister’s  he’d  do  for  someone  else’s.  “i  don’t  know  what  the  fuck  is  wrong  with  people  in  this  city,  ruder  than  the  average.”  it’s  no  excuse,  but,  he’s  just  trying  to  understand  how  people  could  be  so  fucked  up  sometimes.

[brooksbuch]

a m e l i a ,

she’s  only  sixteen  but  she  knows  what  certain  things  are.  the  letter  he’s  been  staring  at  for  what?  ten  minutes?  was  important.  maybe  an  early  college  acceptance?  she  vaguely  remembers  her  older  sister’s  excitement  when  she  got  hers.  “i  said  you  look  like  you’ve  seen  a  ghost.”  or  worse.  she  watched  him  go  throw  the  seven  stages  of  grief  before  repeating  the  cycle.  “it  seemed  like  good  news?”

he  shrugs.  he’s  trying  to  be  nonchalant,  but  failing.  he’s  someone  who  wears  his  emotions  on  his  sleeve.  he  can’t  hide  how  he  feels,  he’s  happy,  but,  he  doesn’t  know  how  his  family  is  going  to  take  it.  they’ve  been  through  a  lot  already  with  the  fear  left  lingering  from  their  father’s  death  scare.  “it  depends  on  who  you  ask,  i  say  it’s  good  news  yeah,  but  others  may  disagree.”

[brooksbuch]

o l i v i a ,

“letter  seems  pretty  important.”  she  knows  that  is,  most  likely,  very  important  —  but  he  seemed  like  a  deer  in  headlights  right  in  front  of  her  ;  is  that  out  of  shock  or  excitement?  olivia  couldn’t  tell.  "either  you  won  the  lottery  or  someone  died  –“  insensitive,  much.  she  should  really  learn  how  to  watch  what  she  says,  yet  they  tumble  out  of  her  mouth  anyways.  "which  is  it?”

brooks  laughs.  “neither.”  he  glances  back  down  at  the  acceptance  letter  one  more  time.  “it’s  nothing  really,  m’just  deciding  on  a  career  choice  is  all.”  he  doesn’t  know  how  much  he  wants  to  give  up.

[brooksbuch]

november . 

november didn’t always mean to come off so cold. but she couldn’t help it, the world was full of idiots and nova knew she was better off then all of them. her overpriced sandwich from an instagram worthy cafe had kept most of her attention but that didn’t stop her from glaring at a few random passerbys. they all looked like people who would act holier than thou while doing cocaine off a marble coffee table. at least nova knew she was no good, it was in her genetics after all. she knew some of the random strangers on the street were staring back at her. she knew why too. she shared a lot of facial features with her father. she was bound to snap and she felt sorry for those around when her she exploded. “you know, you can just take a picture. it’s less fucking rude than staring at me. be upfront about your murder fetish.”

he’s watching as people passing by stare down nova as if she’s a criminal. he can feel his lip curl. it’s annoying to watch, it bothers him as they continue to make faces. finally, nova snaps. he can feel his lips curl into a smile as he finds satisfaction in her telling them off. “you heard her, scram, run along now.” he inserts himself into the confrontation, the younger bunch running off at the sound of his voice. “you okay?”

[brooksbuch]

his acceptance letter. it was practically burning as he held it in his hands, his deep brown eyes scanning over the words congratulations for the hundredth time. he should be happy, celebrating, even. but, instead, here he is, feeling guilty about the fact he can’t tell his family about this, they’d never approve of him being a police officer but it was what he wanted to do and no one was going to stop him. looking up he quickly folded the piece of paper and tucked it away into his pants pocket. “sorry, i was zoned out...what did you say?”