This blog is dedicated mainly to the ship of Lord John Grey and Percy Wainwright, though other subjects related to the Lord John and Outlander series are also discussed.
Consider yourselves forewarned that many controversial opinions and topics abound here. 😂💀
If you don’t like what you read, then you know the way out. 😎
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⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ My Fanfics ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
Quicksilver in the Sun
It was rather symbolic, Percy thought, that the only visible token of a greater affection John had given him had been their initials drawn coupled together within a heart on his condensation-fogged window – an ephemeral gesture designed to disappear as though it had never been...
(A.k.a.: The product of my having read The Brotherhood of the Blade far too many times: the story from Percy Wainwright's pov)
The Deathless Divide
Post-Book 9 Bees. Lord John Grey and Percy Wainwright come to the end of their lives, only to return to when they first began in 1758 with the gift (or curse!) of a second chance to choose a different path in life.
~*~
Eyeing him with something between bewilderment and suspicion that he was being practiced upon, the valet replied stiffly, “It is seventeen hundred and fifty-eight Anno Domini, sir.”
Percy squeezed his eyes shut and then started to laugh. The sound emerging ragged and sharp along the edges, and utterly uncontainable.
Goddamn it all.
The crossroads they expected him to navigate was the fucking Rubicon!
There was something horribly funny about having chosen live his life over rather than face the torments of Purgatory again, only find himself set once more at the head of the path that led to Lord John Grey. A man whom having loved was merely Purgatory by another name.
"Where I come into it doesn't matter”, he said. "And there isn't time. You need to find your son quickly. As to why I tell you…”
John saw it coming and didn't pull away. Percy smelled of bergamot and petitgrain and the red wine on his breath. John's grip on Percy's arm loosened.
"Pour vos beaux yeux," Percy had whispered against his lips and laughed, damn him.
(Written In My Own Heart’s Blood, ch. 73)
Did Percy actually kiss John here? Or did he just come really close to John’s face like he was going to kiss him but instead just whispered against his lips?
I want it to be a kiss (even though I find the 2nd option sexy af tbh 👀), but idk. If it was an actual kiss wouldn’t the scene describe his mouth tasting like wine rather than his breath smelling like wine?
Honestly I'd be happy with either but I, too, find the thought of Percy leaning in to whisper against John's lips but not actually kissing him even though he could have absurdly sexy.🔥
There's something inherently mocking about John having let him get that close only for Percy to not even kiss him (and it fits their former lovers, now enemies-on-opposite-sides-of-a-war dynamic). lol And some part of John must've wanted him to because he didn't even tense up or pull away. 😏
Or maybe Percy kissed him and then whispered against his lips. I mean, it does say John saw "it" coming - "it" certainly implies a kiss. A bit annoying that DG makes it so unclear. :/
There's something inherently mocking about John having let him get that close only for Percy to not even kiss him (and it fits their former lovers, now enemies-on-opposite-sides-of-a-war dynamic). lol And some part of John must've wanted him to because he didn't even tense up or pull away. 😏
Yesss, exactly!! John 100% wanted the kiss — he not only did not pull away, but he let go of the grip on Percy’s arm. He was so ready for it, and honestly, I think he was kinda frustrated that Percy only teased him lmao (if there was indeed no kiss).
I mean, he was even smiling (and thinking dirty thoughts lol) afterwards, for God’s sake!!
At least the headache had gone away, dispelled by the burst of alarm — and a brief flare of lust, might as well admit it — occasioned by Percy's revelation. He wouldn't begin to speculate as to Percy's motives, but…
“For your beautiful eyes, indeed!” he muttered, but couldn't help smiling at the impudence. A wise man would not touch Percy Wainwright with a ten-foot pole. Something shorter, though…
“Oh, do be quiet, will you?” he murmured to himself, and made his way down a clay bank to the edge of a tiny creek, where he could throw cold water on his heated face.
(Written In My Own Heart’s Blood, ch. 74)
And in Bees when Hal asks John about his encounter with Percy in the American camp, John remembers his smell:
Hal merely snorted. “Men like that never die so conveniently. Why the bloody hell is he telling you this, do you think?”
Grey suppressed the vivid memory of bergamot, red wine, and petitgrain.
(Go Tell the Bees That I Am Gone, ch. 47)
This is interesting because in both scenes he is thinking about Percy’s motives for telling him about Richardson. And even though he rationally wants to think of Percy as this untrustworthy person, deep down he knows that Percy genuinely cares for him and that there’s no ulterior motive for Percy to warn him about Richardson.
So yes, for his beautiful eyes, indeed 🥺
And yes, the “saw it coming” makes it ambiguous. But it might just be John being certain that Percy was going to kiss him and being a bit disappointed when he didn’t.
True, John definitely believed Percy was going to kiss him (and he let it happen!!) so for Percy to unexpectedly wrong-foot him by not only not doing it, but then turning around and laughing. It's hilariously infuriating, no wonder John was damning him! 😂
And it's something I could absolutely see the older and much more confident Percy doing.
I'd been debating the last few years how I wanted to write that scene in my fic, whether there should be an actual kiss or what we described above, and I'd liked the version where Percy just gave him a mockingly barely-there kiss before laughing precisely because he knew John had both wanted and expected to be kissed so much more. lmao
And as for John, the little lord really doth protest too much!
Plus, that scene having been the very last time they met before Bees just made the abrupt change in tone the first time Percy appeared all the more jarring. That line where John said he "didn't like" Percy -- I mean, since when, dude??
That he didn't trust him was already a well established fact, but John's problem has always obviously been that he does still like Percy despite himself. (*stamps a big red 'F' on DG's forehead for inconsistent characterization*) That John is still physically attracted to him is indisputable, but when you also have to fight the urge to laugh at someone's comments when you're with them your dislike of them is pretty superficial. You can distrust someone and still find yourself liking them in spite of it.
Not to mention John's feelings for Percy are far too complex to be boiled down to statement as juvenile as "he didn't like Percy Wainwright". I mean, really, what is he, twelve? lol
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
FINISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks to all who have read, commented, left kudos. Ye are all too kind!
Chapters: 7/7
Fandom: Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Lord John Grey/Percy Wainwright, Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser
Characters: Lord John Grey, Ezekiel Richardson, Jamie Fraser, Claire Beauchamp, William Ransom, Roger MacKenzie Wakefield, Percy Wainwright, Original Characters
Additional Tags: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Feels, Poverty, Relationship Advice, Talking, Understanding, Forgiveness, Anal Sex, Declarations Of Love
Summary:
At the end of Book 9, Lord John Grey has been taken prisoner on the ship The Pallas by Captain Richardson. Percy has died on the hearthrug in front of William.
"Where I come into it doesn't matter”, he said. "And there isn't time. You need to find your son quickly. As to why I tell you…”
John saw it coming and didn't pull away. Percy smelled of bergamot and petitgrain and the red wine on his breath. John's grip on Percy's arm loosened.
"Pour vos beaux yeux," Percy had whispered against his lips and laughed, damn him.
(Written In My Own Heart’s Blood, ch. 73)
Did Percy actually kiss John here? Or did he just come really close to John’s face like he was going to kiss him but instead just whispered against his lips?
I want it to be a kiss (even though I find the 2nd option sexy af tbh 👀), but idk. If it was an actual kiss wouldn’t the scene describe his mouth tasting like wine rather than his breath smelling like wine?
Honestly I'd be happy with either but I, too, find the thought of Percy leaning in to whisper against John's lips but not actually kissing him even though he could have absurdly sexy.🔥
There's something inherently mocking about John having let him get that close only for Percy to not even kiss him (and it fits their former lovers, now enemies-on-opposite-sides-of-a-war dynamic). lol And some part of John must've wanted him to because he didn't even tense up or pull away. 😏
Or maybe Percy kissed him and then whispered against his lips. I mean, it does say John saw "it" coming - "it" certainly implies a kiss. A bit annoying that DG makes it so unclear. :/
We know Percy is described as tall, but how tall is he?
Certainly not as tall as Jamie, but he needs to be of considerably height for that to be singled out in his physical description, I guess.
So I was thinking at least 1,80m (5'11''). But maybe it’s more, maybe he is around 1,82m - 1,86m (6'0'' - 6'1'', I believe honestly this unit system sucks I’m sorry)??
I headcanon Percy to be 5'11" to 6'0". Jamie at 6'4" is considered to be a giant so Percy should still be several inches shorter than him.
5'7" is the average height for men at the time so anyone who's a few inches taller than that would be considered tall, in much the same way that 5'10" is the average height of men in our time so anyone who's 6'0" or more is considered "tall".
Also Percy and his mother lived in poverty in the precise years when he was going through puberty, and malnourishment over an extended period of time can sometimes impair a child's growth.
I headcanon that Percy's father was very tall man (like 6'2"**) but Percy grew up to be a few inches shorter than him and Percy suspects it's because of all the years he never got enough to eat and it remains a persistent reminder of things he'd rather forget. But if asked, Percy would say he's six feet tall even if he's half or a quarter of an inch shy of it. (I mean, what adult would bother to say "I'm five feet, eleven and three-quarter inches tall when they can just they're six feet tall? I'm 5'4" and a quarter but I just say I'm 5'4". lol)
(**In my fic the other Methodist boys secretly call Percy's father "Reverend Maypole" because he's so tall and skinny (because he's all about that mortification of the flesh bringing him closer to God business xd).)
(I was skimming my notes on Methodism and was struck anew by how similar to Percy some of the descriptions of Methodism are.
"Methodism was restless and energetic, introspective and expansionist, emotional and earnest. It was an unsettling movement led by unsettled people."
"The characteristic features of Methodist spirituality - its tendency to morbid introspection, its ruthless self-examination, and its compulsion to share and tell - are all products of its Lockean emphasis on sensible experience."
"In England [Methodism] cozied up to the government, expelled radicals, and built its gothic chapels, often more out of a quest for social acceptance and respectability than for any more noble purpose.
...Everywhere, Methodists began as cultural outsiders, but through work discipline and an unquenchable passion for education, they remorselessly moved to the cultural centre."
Ugh, there's just so much interesting stuff about Methodism and how it informs Percy's psychological makeup! I was planning to type out and reorganize my notes (which atm consists of 80+ handwritten pages, plus my other notes on the 18th century which is like 1000+ handwritten pages because I'm insane and they were library books I had to return lol) but then my laptop decided to conk out on me so... *spreads hands*
"Of course, it is not wise to overromancize the grandeur of all this (Methodism). As well as heroism there was emotional manipulation, charlatanry as well as purity, and terror as well as loving persuasion. It is impossible to read the melancholy diaries of teenage Methodists without concluding that there was a frightening intensity to prescribed Methodist piety that unsettled minds and spirits."
It's disturbing to think about a young Percy and his young mother** being unwillingly dragged into Methodism with all the craziness that went on just because Percy's father decided to uproot their entire lives out of religious zeal that spiraled into full-on fanaticism. Other Methodist converts chose that austere life for themselves, but Percy and his mother didn't have a choice in the matter.
(**Percy's father was said to have died "young", so naturally his wife would've been even younger still. She was probably a good 20 years younger than Benedicta, give or take. And she most likely married and had Percy as a teen so they're also much closer in age than John and his mother, which was likely just another factor in Percy's closeness to her.)
"Another distinctive feature of female as distinct from male Methodist discourse, namely its greater preoccupation with physical pain, suffering, and the sheer fragility of life. Acquainted with suffering and death through their visitation of the sick (more directly a female role), and schooled in the endurance of pain by childhood and brutal medical treatments, women's spirituality was shaped by the hard edge of endurance and affliction...there is no denying that women were more frequently and protractedly brought face to face with life's sufferings than men...the discourse of women is unmistakably full of pain."
It was quite possibly the very works of mercy (among them caring for the sick) expected of a Methodist that caused Percy's mother to contract consumption in the first place. I mean, it was known as the "white plague" for a reason -- 25% of the population was consumptive at any given time back then, and that concentration was exponential in the poor areas where so many people were forced to live in close proximity.
Percy would've felt the pressure of responsibility to look after his mother since since his father died when he was twelve and he became the "man of the house". And he had no other siblings or family he could rely on, it was just the two of them. What a heavy responsibility for a child to have to carry. (At least John had three older brothers and an incredibly wealthy, well-connected mother to make sure he was always looked after, and plenty of well-off extended family, too. He only had to be responsible for himself.) And imagine how sickeningly angry Percy must've felt to know that, in a way, Methodism killed both of his parents. And for his mother to have still died despite Percy's years of self-sacrifice in selling himself to men thrice his age just so they could survive, when he knew it to be an eternal damnation worthy offense?!?! I mean, fuck. I would've turned my back on God and religion for the rest of my life, too. T_T)
But anyway, I've gone off on a tangent again, where was I? lol
Yesssss, I LOVE that John is just this short, girly looking pretty boy-man who's actually this fierce and determined straight up savage. 😂 It feels so delightfully subversive to me! And that Percy, who's the tall and dark-haired one, is actually the gentle and somewhat submissive one -- I love that. ❤
(But I have to admit that Jamie largely reads like a walking romance novel stereotype to me, so at this point I can only ever roll my eyes and forbear any time anyone waxes poetic about him. I can't even take it seriously anymore. lol)
It's probably partially because I still have gay manga tropes tattooed on my brain (the very first gay media I ever consumed was manga and anime over 15 years ago because it barely existed in mainstream North American media back then). 😅 If John and Percy were in a manga their personalities would be totally reversed, and Percy would be the top and John the bottom. lol So yeah, I love that those stereotypes have been subverted with them.
And yesss, but they are so pretty and cute together! <3
There's something so...tender, touching, and absurdly cute to me about Percy (who's like half a foot taller than John) bending his head down so their cheeks brush, trying to draw comfort from John in his distress.🥺 Because the strength and stability of John's very presence (regardless of his lack of stature) is something he can draw strength from.
And I mean, I love David Berry as John, but visually he just wouldn't hit same way with Percy because there would be so little visual contrast between them. If I ever decided to try my hand at drawing them, it would have to be blond short king John all the way. 😎
Although in the case of John/Percy it feels quite justifiably ire-provoking because the author’s intent was clearly laid out over the course of several books and then she just cruelly pulled a 180 on us at the last moment in Bees. That’s so much worse than queerbaiting.💀
In contrast, back in the very early days when I still shipped John/Jamie, it never bothered me that they would never be a canonical ship because it was obvious to me from the start that there was no authorial intent on that score (other than some queerbaiting). John/Jamie is what fanfiction is for. *shrug*
If Diana pulled a 180 (which I believe it to be likely, given her past comments on J/P), she threw a good story/development in the trash — which is bad enough.
Now, if she always intended for things to happen the way they did in Bees, it’s honestly worse. She has written so much complexity into their relationship and doesn’t even know it?? lol
In this case, it’s not even getting mad at the author for not going where they never intended, but getting mad at the author for not even being aware that they wrote something with so much potential.
Like, DG had a lot of great roads to take with this plot and (by design or unknowingly) she chose the most uninteresting, unchallenging one. Either way it’s bad.
It's like I've said before, DG is a good writer on a small scale (ie. her prose) but in the larger sense there's a distinct lack of overall vision on her part. A lack of greater, cohesive meaning that prevents her books from being truly good.
Although in the case of John/Percy it feels quite justifiably ire-provoking because the author's intent was clearly laid out over the course of several books and then she just cruelly pulled a 180 on us at the last moment in Bees. That's so much worse than queerbaiting.💀
In contrast, back in the very early days when I still shipped John/Jamie, it never bothered me that they would never be a canonical ship because it was obvious to me from the start that there was no authorial intent on that score (other than some queerbaiting). John/Jamie is what fanfiction is for. *shrug*
Sorry to Davina Potter but my god is her John and Percy like nails on a chalkboard to me after Jeff Woodman's narration of the LJG series! 😖 I don't know if I'll ever be able to make it through the audiobooks for Books 7&8. 😬
It's hilarious to me that the first and last fortune John got in BotB was "The greatest danger could be your own stupidity" and "And the one you love could be closer than you think". I'm finding it pretty hard not to agree on both scores. xd
I also have to appreciate the way DG still had all her ducks in a row on the John/Percy front back then (at least until she lost her mind during the writing of Bees -_-).
@cookie-de-baunilha the way the book itself is not remotely subtly screaming, "the writing is on the wall" and not only that but "the writing is on the frigging window, dude, and YOU YOURSELF PUT IT THERE!!" 😅
Honestly the way the heart of BotB is foreshadowed in those fortunes is tragically funny. John falls in love but is a complete bloody dumbass about it -- it doesn't get more straightforward than that! 🤣💀 The greatest danger is indeed his own stupidity. smh
The way my three main feelings about John are just frustration, pity, and yet somehow absurd amounts of fondness simultaneously commingled really just makes him the most character ever istg. 😂 That they're choosing to produce a prequel about Jamie's parents (I mean, seriously, who even cares?? :P) over the Lord John series is such a batshit decision. But I guess that's what happens when straight people rule the world -- we're continually being denied the superior series as a result. 😑
It's hilarious to me that the first and last fortune John got in BotB was "The greatest danger could be your own stupidity" and "And the one you love could be closer than you think". I'm finding it pretty hard not to agree on both scores. xd
I also have to appreciate the way DG still had all her ducks in a row on the John/Percy front back then (at least until she lost her mind during the writing of Bees -_-).
"I don't excuse the actions of this character--" well I do. I kiss them about it directly on the mouth. I think they should have done worse things. I think that would have been funny.
