When I was in grade eight, I lived in a small town called Weipa and I was kind of a big deal. I was the smartest kid in the class, I was the fastest swimmer, and I’d been thrown out of the Weipa pool for excessive pashing with Kristy Wilson. So I was popular.
Michael Tsakisiris was my opposite. He was fat. He wasn’t smart. He wasn’t good at sport and he wasn’t popular.
And I teased him. I picked on him for the amusement of others, which gave the green light for them to pick on him. I even teased him in class, where, to their eternal discredit, the teachers did nothing.
He died in a motorcycle accident when he was 16. There’s plenty in my youth I’m embarrassed about but not much I’m ashamed of. Except this.
Even a rampant sceptic like myself can acknowledge that I would have racked up a fair few bad karma points during this period. And rightly so. But I’ve been lucky with my family and my career so, no, karma has steered clear of payback in that area.
But there’s one area of my life that remains a void and now, 25 years later, I’m starting to wonder if I’ve managed to work some of those bad karma points off.
Michael Taskisiris died in 1990, the same year that Liverpool won its 18th, and last, English football premiership.
It was also the last time that any team I followed, across any major sport, won a league title.
In the AFL, Richmond won the 1980 premiership and then proceeded to become a basket case.
In the NRL, Balmain hadn’t won a title since 1969 and now, no longer even has the good grace to exist.
In the A-League, Melbourne Heart’s greatest achievement is being bought by Manchester City.
In the NBL, the Cairns Taipans have been close, but have not yet smoked a single cigar.
In the NBA, the Portland Trailblazers won their only title in 1977 before Phil Jackson got in the way of titles by coaching Chicago and the Lakers.
In MLB, the Chicago Cubs are as far away from a title as they’ve ever been since they won their last World Series ... in 1908!
In the NFL, the Chicago Bears won in 1985 and despite some brief glimpses, have struggled to make a post-season impact ever since.
Collectively, that’s 150 seasons. 150 full sporting seasons without winning a title. 150 seasons where I’ve started full of hope and ended with disappointment.
And that’s why, even though Liverpool is five points clear with three games to play in the English Premier League, I refuse to believe this can happen.
I am certain we will lose to Chelsea this week and then drop points to either Crystal Palace or Newcastle.
Like so many of the teams I follow, I don’t know how to win.
