brown sugar b

[blackfemininity]

Black women in leisure 4

[fabxrich-bellaxo]

Quick advice for girls looking to enter the bowl…

This shit is NOT for shits and giggles. Don’t be blinded by the luxury pics of BMWs, Chanel bags, Louboutins, and slim girls on vacation drinking champagne.

I’ve been a sugar baby for approximately a year now, I’ll be 25 in December. The shit I’ve learned AND endured the past year are lessons I’ll one day teach my daughter. I have no problem with a young girl entering the bowl, but do it for the right reasons. Once you enter this life, it will FOREVER be apart of you. Never steer away from your morals for some money, gifts, and/or vacations; the shit isn’t worth it in the end. TRUST ME.

If you don’t have the hustler mentality, this life ain’t for you sweetheart. These men will walk all over you; and the LAST thing I want to happen is for some young girl to be taken advantage of just because she wanted some nice shit.

If you can’t do your own research, this ain’t for you. No one is going to spoon feed you info. There is no sugar baby handbook. Research first, google is there for a reason. If you have questions afterwards, then ask. None of these girls on here owe you a damn thing. The same way we learned this info, secrets, and tricks you can learn them too. So be grateful if a girl answers your questions, but don’t get an attitude if she doesn’t.

Set goals for what you want to achieve in the bowl. It’s so easy to be blindsided by the money coming in that you forget why you started doing this in the beginning. If you got loans to pay off, stick to that. If you’re saving for something, stick to that. But don’t forget that money goes into this lifestyle. This lifestyle is an expense. You need money to maintain your hair, nails (mani/pedi), makeup, transportation, spending money, feminine essentials, clothing, etc. Shit adds up so don’t be ashamed to charge that man the money you KNOW you deserve. Never forget your worth. If you’re scared to ask for an allowance raise or a PPM raise, this isn’t for you. CLOSED MOUTHS DON’T GET FED. The same way your SD isn’t afraid to ask for sex/head/companionship, don’t be afraid to ask for those funds!!

Last but not least, learn when to walk away. If you’re becoming overwhelmed with the bowl, take a break. NOTHING is more important that your mental/physical health! You might lose out on some money for a while, but there’s always men in the bowl waiting. Still do those activities that you enjoy whether it’s reading, sleeping, watching Netflix, whatever it is do it. You can’t be the best SB if you can’t properly function on a day to day basis. Take care of yourself. Go to a spa, do some retail therapy, sleep in for a few hours, spend time with friends and family; just do something outside of the bowl. You’re going to need it for those days where you don’t want to talk to old men all day and night.

I hope some of you girls take my advice. Just go into this with a clear head. I’ve seen the bowl turn girls into addicts and a whole bunch of other crazy shit. If you have a inkling of doubt, that’s your instinct telling you it’s not for you. And that’s okay baby girl, not everyone is built for this life. I’m not trying to discourage or scare anyone, but don’t force yourself into something you’re not ready for.

[chanelsugababy]

Salt and Scammer Spotting 🔍🕵🏻‍♀️

- “I don’t want the relationship to feel too transactional”

- “No hookers, whores, or professionals”

- “I need to see bikini pics/nudes/lingerie pics first”

- “We’ll need to test our chemistry before discussing an allowance”

- “I feel like you’re only talking to me for money”

- “I can only send your allowance through your bank, so I’ll need your login information”

-“I don’t want to feel like an ATM”

- “I can pay for an Uber/hotel room, but it’ll have to come out of your allowance”

- “I don’t need to pay a woman for her company”

- “I can’t afford your allowance AND a hotel”

- “I’m going to need some sample nudes to make sure you’re worth it”

-“Can you host?”

- “I don’t want to send money for an Uber, I’ll just pick you up”

[sortagolddigger]

“I am looking for a real connection”

[saturnianshorty]

The 5th one always SENDS me. Like what else would I be talking to you for? Your personality???

[dulcebabyx]

SB POT Date Tip

I thought this tip could help, if it wasn’t already obvious.

Make an OpenTable account with your SB name. Then, whenever you meet POTS for dinner dates you can make the reservation under your “name”, arrive a few minutes early to sit at the table and the hostess will lead your POT to your designated table.

This beats the awkwardness of having to meet and greet at the front by the hostess or playing the scavenger hunt game at the bar.

Once we have decided on the restaurant I always say “Okay I made the reservation for 8:15, just say _______ at the door!”

Classy and seamless :)

[chanelsugababy]

Sugar baby style guide pt 7 ✨

[goddesssfrequency]

Ugh looking for the perfect plus size jeans to create a legit capsule wardrobe

[thatcasualcompanion]

Shout-out to the fellow sugar babies who don’t quite fit in

I’ve found such an amazing SB community that’s been helpful on Facebook and here, and I’ve found those like me and we all love each other and are supportive (well, a fair amount. There’s still a fair amount who aren’t interestectional at all and price shame/support the whorearchy etc bla blah) but most are.

But sometimes it’s so easy to feel left out.

When you don’t give a fuck about designer clothes and purses at all, and your sugar baby style is the opposite of your civ style. I have to dress very feminine and elegant to make any money in this industry, in my civ life I dress very masculine and comfy 24/7. I’ll seriously have to fight temptation to sell the next designer bag or Louboutins I get gifted and buy cheaper ones), cause I give no fucks and would rather have a $30 purse. It’s a pain to have to buy and store a bunch of clothes just for sex work that I’ll never wear in my civ life.

When you don’t prefer older men, find them gross and just deal with them for work, and date close to your age in your civ life.

When you don’t ever want to go the spoiled girlfriend route, or marry a rich old man. I just can’t see this being anything in my life besides work- to have to fully date someone and have that be my life isn’t something I ever want.

When you look ‘alternative’ in any way (my nice blonde wig covers up neon blue hair, I have a tat and will get more, my nose piercing gets taken out for nice dates, etc). (This also includes a shout-out to the plus size sugar babies and sugar babies of color, it’s shit having to get that extra persecution of not being the skinny blonde white girl the industry sets as the standard)

When you honestly don’t want spoiling in your vanilla relationships- This is a big one. I prefer equal relationships in vanilla, and only like dating men closer to my own age (like, honestly I could never see myself dating anyone more than 5 or 6 years my senior, though I’m happy to fuck an older man if I find him attractive…which is really rare if he’s older than 35) and prefer to share equal finances- I want an equal partnership, not my man paying for everything for me . I like sharing an apartment where I pay half, splitting half of groceries and other expenses, etc.

Being binary or nonbinary trans in this industry, ugh. I’ll just leave it at that but I could talk about dysphoria and all that shit from this job all day. And I have the privelige of being able to pass as a cis woman!! Many don’t.

When you’re a survival sex worker and/or have disabilities. Due to my economic class, disabilities mental and physical etc I about have to do sex work right now. It’s what keeps me able to do school, along with many other benefits. I’m very lucky to be able to not have to accept the minimum or average ppm or offers around here anymore, but I do have to keep Splenda daddies while I hunt for my ultimate. I can’t afford not to, and with my disabilities I can’t work a normal minimum wage job which is all I’m qualified for in this area until I get my degree.

I have absolutely zip zero nothing against women who are the stereotypical sb, want to be spoiled girlfriends, lock down a rich older man who will cover all their expenses along with designer bags and heels.

Feminism is about choice and not one type of person being better than the other, and that applies to sex work. It’s sad not having equal representation. This isn’t a “not like other sugar babies” post where I think I’m special or any shit for being “different”. It’s just a rant about how it can be isolating sometimes, and I wish all of us were lifted up equally 🙃

[sugarbabediaries]

Sugar Baby Tip #10

How to Leave an Arrangement

Well this can be tricky, mostly depending on the situation. There are many reasons why you’d want, or have to leave an arrangement. Maybe you’re moving, or starting a career you need to focus on. Maybe they aren’t paying you enough, or you just don’t like seeing them anymore. Whatever the reason, it is valid. So I’m going to give you some advice.

•You are allowed to leave.

This is super important to realize, because I understand how arrangements can start to feel obligatory to uphold. However you are your own person, and you’re allowed to do what makes you happy and comfortable.

•Be up front.

No need to dance around the subject if it needs addressed. It can be hard to bring up, but no matter what, it still needs to happen. Here are some examples to get you started.

“So, I’ve had a lot of fun with you lately, and I owe it to you to be honest-”

“I would like to talk about the future of this arrangement-”

“You seem like a great guy, but there are somethings in my life right now that are going to make continuing our arrangement a little difficult.”

•It’s Okay to Lie

Wow, when do you ever hear that, right? But sugaring, especially out of your own home, can be dangerous, and if for any reason, you feel it would be unsafe to tell them the truth of the situation, I suggest you don’t. Here are some ideas.

“I was recently offered a job position that I am really excited about taking, however it would leave me with little to no time to continue our arrangement.”

“I have had a few close calls with family finding out about me sugaring, which would not end well, and unfortunately I think it’s best if we didn’t continue.”

“I plan on starting school soon and really need to focus on my classes and grades. My education is very important to me.”

You get the idea, and of course, these are just examples. You know your situation, and your daddy the best.

•It’s Okay to Tell the Truth

Im not trying to confuse you here. You know your arrangement better than anyone else. You know the character of your daddy and how he may respond to these things. If it’s genuinely because you have life things getting in the way, or maybe you’re trying to phase out of the sugaring community, or hell, you’re not getting enough money, and you think he would be open and understanding to the situation and discussion, then my all means, tell the truth. Honesty will be well received by a good man. No matter which route you decide to go, there is no wrong way, as long as it’s comfortable for you, and gets the end result you need.

•Be Apologetic.

Whether he deserves it or not, because the last thing you need is to piss off a man who knows where you live. The goal is to get him out of your life. Additionally, if your daddy is a genuinely good person, an apology might be appropriate. Examples.

“I am truly sorry, I know this is inconvenient for you.”

“I wish this wasn’t the case, and I apologize for the situation.

I don’t like apologizing to people who don’t deserve it, and I’m sure you don’t either, but I rather you seem sympathetic and be safe. Safe is the goal if you’re dealing with a bad daddy.

If he is a good daddy, he will be understanding and forgiving of the situation, no matter what it is.

•Make Things Clear

Does this mean he can’t text you anymore? What if he just wanted to grab lunch sometime? Are you interested in adjusting your arrangement to accommodate your reason for leaving?

Let’s say you’re moving, and that is the only reason you have to end things, because truly, the two of you get along quite well. Maybe you can set up a long distance arrangement.

Or maybe you became friends with him and he’s asking if he can check in once and awhile to see how you’re doing, but he wants to make sure you’re okay with that.

Just be clear on exactly what ending your arrangement means. Especially for bad daddies. Does this mean he can’t text you anymore? “Yes, I’m sorry, I think it’s best if we didn’t keep in touch.”

Be firm in what you want and and don’t want, and don’t be afraid to say it. Tactfully if necessary, but remember to say it.

•In Conclusion

Every situation is different and I hope I covered enough to help out in some. Be careful when dealing with bad daddies, please! Those sort of situations can get tricky. And as frustrating as it might get, please do your best to be safe.

Ending an arrangement can be stressful but once the taken care of I hope you have the chance to breathe and relax a little bit! 💕

[buddakhai-deactivated20210402]

I’d rather lie. Men tend to be unstable, especially powerful ones, and I’m not about to deal with that.

[houstonsugarbaby]

MEN. ARE. NOT. SHOPPING. FOR. YOU.

This means, this isn’t a job interview. They are not asking the questions and you answer. You are both searching. They talk sex, you talk money. they make sexual jokes, you talk money. They ask for sexual photos, you talk money.

Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed to ask for what you want. No lowballing yourself because you need the money. That’s how you cheapen yourself. No settling!

[thegirlfriend-experience]

[accras]

“She’s Gotta Have It” premieres globally on Thanksgiving Day, Nov. 23 on Netflix.

[dulaut-deactivated20210910]

YES 👏🏽 MAAM👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[wildlyunlikelybabe]

Lmfao “As a sex positive polyamorous pansexual…” bitch that is ME. I have never seen a Black me on screen before w. My entire sexual identity bitch i will watch this everyday for a fucking year.

[thehighpriestofreverseracism]

this looks glorious

[dandridgegirl]

She’s unambiguous, she’s beautiful, and she’s dating in multiples which I’m not mad at. And…she’s having sex with them all so we’ll see how good this gets. Spike Lee is notoriously bad with his depictions of Black women and copped to his mistakes in the rape scene of the original film.

I’m definitely watching and I’m definitely hopeful. It would’ve been a kick to see her date a woman as well since she threw part of the identity/sexuality alphabet soup in that blurb. We’ll see…

[xerospaced]

Relatable

[brownsugarb]

v interested to see the depiction of black polyamorous pansexuality, I have literally never seen anything like this on TV and this is fucking ME TO A T. it would be so lit to see her gettin some pussy and enby action. 

[nohotbeverages]

[brownsugarb]

Goals 2017

Steady allowance

Move into my own apartment

Get a personal trainer

Save 1000+ in emergency fund

Renew passport

Take a trip in the U.S.  Washington D.C., Florida 

Take a trip outside the U.S. 

Pay off my hospital bill

Try an aerial yoga class

Buy more plants

Make new friends that are 1. open-minded 2. trustworthy/honest 3. socially conscious 4. self-aware 5. supportive

Raise my GPA to AT LEAST 3.5

Get a higher position in my field 

Start a podcast

Make a personal website

Take a boxing class

[brownsugarb]

Going well!

[softroseangel]

[bellexglam]

belle x glam~

[thepoliticalwhore]

Managing Splenda Expectations

While we all dream of one day meeting that mythical SD that can offer us $10k/month with presents and travel and mentorship and support, the truth is there aren’t many of those to go around. They’re called the 0.1% for a reason. 

What there are a lot of though, are kind, generous, wonderful potential Sugar Daddies - with limited budgets. These men are genuine about spoiling you, and for a lot of them, they would give more if they could - they are the perfect SD in all but budget. Right now, realistically, $500 or $1000 a month is all they can offer. Now, if that doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t work for you. Don’t push them to spend more than they can afford. That just leads to unhappy SDs piling a bunch of expectations and pressure on you to justify their overspending.  But if you’re thinking “Hey, yeah, $1000 a month from a man whose company I enjoy is nothing to sneeze at” - then it just becomes a question of making sure everyone is on the same page with expectations.  Where things can go a little wonky is when these men with $1000 budgets want $10k worth of your time. They want to see you several times a week, and text all day, and plan trips with you, and it can be difficult to set limits on that without outright saying “I want $x/hour, and if you have $x spend, you get that many hours” - that can be uncomfortable for everyone involved. I ran into this uncomfortable conversation a time or two, and I didn’t always handle it well. But after a couple hits and misses, I developed the following short response that adjusted “$1000 for a couple of meetings a month and weekend trips” to “1 weekend a month and some pictures” “In the same way you have a financial budget to work with, I have a time budget. I have a lot of really ambitious goals that I am working towards, and I need to make sure that I’m investing my time in ways that best support me. I really enjoy our connection. And it’s important to me that this arrangement be mutually beneficial, and doesn’t involve either of us overextending ourselves. I hope you can respect the amount of time I have available the same way I respect the amount of money you can spend”

[cinnamonsugar-uk-deactivated201]

I needed to read this, very well said 👏🏾

[bksugar-deactivated20130826]

Look, if you’re not “comfortable” with giving me $$$, get off of a Sugar Daddy website. You can’t just be on these websites because all the girls are sexier than other dating sites. You don’t get that option. 23 year old women don’t date 50 year old men because of their personalities.

You really can’t expect a real relationship with no financial benefit to me to come out of this. WHERE DO THESE GUYS COME FROM.

[sugarbritney]

PREACH BABY!!!

[theworldofsugarandspice]

This reminds me of a POT that I am talking to at the moment. He’s never had an arrangement and I asked him why he was interested in an arrangement if he’s only 32 and an attractive doctor. He replied with “the women on here are much more attractive than women on regular dating sites”. To which I replied, yes we are, because we invest in ourselves to always be the beautiful woman. Then I explained to him that’s why we want monthly allowances. Because if we invest in our own beauty, we only want to be involved with someone that also values and appreciates our efforts by continuing to invest in our beauty to make us even more appealing “to the eyes of the beholder”. Then BOOM: he was very responsive and said that he now understands the concept of an allowance and now, we’re grabbing dinner to meet in person and discuss things further. Gotta make them understand that little effort from his end will result in little effort from my end too. No one derserves Gucci quality at Target prices. That’s not how the world works.

[malamente1992]

https://www.instagram.com/p/BaNC8RbFXoC/

[soeffingxtraordinary]

http://soeffingxtraordinary.tumblr.com/

[itsjustsodope]

S Z A