Bruce Turkel

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Algorithms vs. Elbow Grease.

Algorithms vs. Elbow Grease.

If you pay attention to the news these days, you’ll start seeing more and more things happening which can be defined as the battle between algorithms and elbow grease. In many ways, I believe this conflict is becoming the defining juxtaposition of our times; comparing the effects of strenuous physical exertion to formulaic solutions, generally facilitated by computers. Or, in other words, the battle between getting things done the good old school way or the new ways.

Elbow Grease: “Strenuous physical exertion.”

From The Grammarist: “Elbow grease means hard work, energetic physical labor, especially labor that involves vigorous rubbing or polishing. The term elbow grease is surprisingly old, it dates back at least to the 1600s. Other languages have similar idioms such as the French term l’huile de coude, which translates as “elbow grease” and the Danish term knofedt, which translates as “knuckle fat.”

Algorithms: “A set of rules for solving a problem in a finite number of steps, as for finding the greatest common divisor.”

Again, from The Grammarist: “An algorithm is logical procedure that is applied to a problem in order to solve that problem. Computers commonly use algorithms. Algorithm is a noun, related words are algorithmic, algorithmically. The word algorithm is derived from the Old French word algorisme, which was the term for the Arabic numeral system.”

But enough with the definitions. How about some simple examples from your own life?

The phone app that connects you and your Lyft ride to one another is the algorithm. The driver is the elbow grease.

The program you follow to train for a marathon is the algorithm. The sweaty distance you run five days a week is the elbow grease.

The Quicken software you use to balance your checkbook in the algorithm. The time you spend actually inputting checks and balancing your account is the elbow grease.

The reason this juxtaposition will become more and more popular is because it also serves as a metaphor for the growing divide between the haves and the have nots, both in this country and around the world.

Internet billionaires, information entrepreneurs (infopreneurs), and hedge fund managers are the algorithms. Gardeners, waitresses, and baggage handlers are the elbow grease.

But please don’t think I’m suggesting that elbow grease only defines blue-collar workers who labor with their hands, while algorithms define people who work with superior technological know-how. Instead, think of this: plenty of white-collar information workers whose jobs will eventually be replaced by computer code also fit squarely in the elbow grease category. These include accountants, engineers, diagnosticians, and even radiologists.

What we do know is that the technological changes we all take for granted today will pose great upheaval for all of us in the near future. For example, you already know that the Uber ride you take today will be provided by a driverless car  ten or twenty years from now. And right now that seems like a good thing because it will undoubtedly save money and time, reduce congestion, and free up parking spaces. But it also means that the widespread career of driving, a business segment that employs ten to 15% of all working men in the US, will be replaced by computers, robots, and drones. Where will those displaced drivers go to earn a living? And where will they go to define their worth?

We know that algorithms will replace elbow grease. What we don’t know what it will cost.

It’s not like this is a new phenomenon, by the way. When the agricultural revolution replaced hunting and gathering, it was a more primitive example of algorithms vs. elbow grease. When the industrial revolution replaced the feudal system of labor management, it was another example of the same conflict. And when the Information Age supplanted the Industrial Age, it was yet another example of this paradox.

Each shift resulted in massive social changes that was felt geographically, economically, culturally, religiously, and geo-politically. The only difference from those shifts and the ones we’re experiencing today is that we look at those older changes with a lack of hands-on emotion, the benefit of hindsight, and an understanding that they happened much more slowly and over a much longer period of time than the changes we’re experiencing today.

The contemporary battle between algorithms and elbow grease might just be the largest social experiment and reorganization of responsibility and renumeration humankind has yet experienced. But much like the mouse running around in a researcher’s maze, we don’t know which turn will get us to the cheese nor which one will lead us to a dead end.

But like that mouse, what we do know is that if we want a successful outcome, we’d better start exploring our options.

[bruceturkel]

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Does the Second Amendment Trump the First Amendment?

Does the Second Amendment Trump the First Amendment?

By now anyone not living under a rock knows all about the horrific school shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. 14 teenagers and three adults were killed in cold blood when Nikolas Cruz sprayed the South Florida school with an AR-15 assault rifle.

Regardless of your opinion of what happened or what should be done, you’ve been discussing the massacre with your friends and your co-workers and you’ve seen endless debates and discussions on TV news, in the newspaper, and on social media.

In fact, the only place they’re NOT discussing the gun issue is exactly where they should be talking about it; in the Florida state legislature.

That’s right, the Florida state legislature. That’s because less than a week after one of the deadliest school shootings in U.S. history happened in Florida, the state House of Representatives voted down a measure to discuss the assault weapons ban.

Yes, you read that correctly. The state House of Representatives voted down a measure to discuss the assault weapons ban. They didn’t vote down an assault weapons ban. They didn’t vote down a measure to re-implement the assault weapons ban. Florida state representatives voted down a measure to even discuss the situation.

The vote was on a suggestion to consider a motion to ban assault rifles and high-capacity magazines. Not to do ban the weapons, mind you, just to discuss the possibility. But instead of allowing such an important debate to take place, the House defeated the motion 36-71. Amazingly, the “no” voters included nine South Florida Republicans – the very lawmakers who represent the area where the slaughter took place.

The list of Miami representatives who voted “no” includes Michael Bileca, Jose Oliva, Carlos Trujillo, Bryan Avila, Daniel Anthony Perez, Jeanette Nunez, Manny Diaz Jr., and Holly Raschein. Representatives Bill Hager and Rick Roth of Palm Beach County also voted to shut down the conversation. And even more shamelessly, Representative George Moraitis of Broward County (where Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School is located) callously skipped the vote altogether.

From the Miami New Times: “According to Associated Press reporter Gary Fineout… ‘a reasonable person might assume a state rocked by a gun massacre might at least let the full House vote on the idea — but not Florida’s Republican-dominated, NRA-beholden House.’”

Remember, we’re not talking about the legislature refusing gun control or refusing to vote on gun control. We’re talking about the legislature refusing to even DISCUSS the problem and possible solutions. Or as I see it, the legislature simply decided the Second Amendment (the right to bear arms) matters while the First Amendment (freedom of speech) does not.

Within the Bill of Rights, the First Amendment requires only 45 words to assure all Americans of their significant liberties:

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.”

Based on the simplicity and ubiquity of the First Amendment, Americans think freedom of speech is a basic right that we all enjoy. Unfortunately, the Florida legislature clearly thinks otherwise.

In his prescient novel 1984, George Orwell predicted a future where human rights – including freedom of speech – do not exist anymore. As Orwell wrote: “Whatever the (legislature) holds to be truth is truth. It is impossible to see reality except by looking through the eyes of the (legislature).”

Since the Florida state legislature hasn’t actually read the Bill of Rights, I can’t imagine they’ve read 1984 either. Regardless, while George Orwell may have predicted this trampling of our rights coming true in 1984, the Florida state legislature simply moved the date to 2018. And we will all suffer the consequences of their egregious behavior.

[bruceturkel]

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Traveling Light 2018

I’ve had some wonderful speaking opportunities in wonderful places. In the past few weeks I’ve been to Chicago, Naples, San Diego, Mexico, San Francisco, Maui, and New Orleans. And this week I’m lucky enough to speak in my own hometown – Miami.

All that travel meant a lot of time out of the office. But it’s also been a great opportunity for me to use – and further refine – all the travel hacks that make my journeys so much easier.

I believe there’s only two kinds of luggage – carry on and lost. So, it should come as no surprise that I’m obsessive about packing light and never ever checking bags. To accomplish this I’ve tested lots of products and figured out lots of ways to pare back my travel carry-on. Here’s a quick list of some of my best hacks. If you want more, go to my blog and search “travel light” and you’ll find many more posts on this subject.

Clothing

Everything you take must coordinate. Do this by picking an accent color and one or two neutrals. I’m usually in black, gray, and blue. That way nothing’s wasted.

Merino wool. This is masterclass stuff. Socks, underwear, and tee shirts of lightweight merino wool don’t itch, wrinkle, or stink. You can wear them many more days then you’d wear cotton or synthetics. When you do wash them in the sink, they dry quickly.

Wool crepe. If you have to wear a suit or sports jacket (men and women) think wool crepe. I have a black wool crepe blazer that I fold up and carry in a little stuff sack. When I pull it out and shake it loose, all the wrinkles seem to fall off. Amazing.

Two pair of shoes (three if you take flip flops). If you have to dress up, bring one nice pair or heels, and one pair of athletic shoes. But here’s the secret; buy running shoes without a heel cup. That way they’ll fold flat and take less room in your luggage. Nike’s Experience Flex 7 does this beautifully. They work for the gym, long distance runs, walking tours, and most casual wear.

Packable down puffer jacket. This little gem folds into its own pocket and takes up almost no space. Why a puffer jacket in the summer? Nights can be chilly and airports and planes can be freezing. A collapsible jacket like this one is a great comfort and can double as an in-flight pillow.

Packing

If you can lift it, forego the rolling bag for a square-sided duffel. You’ll be amazed how much more the bag will hold without wheels and handles using space. Because you’re going to be carrying it, you’re more likely to pack light.

If you carry more than a duffel and a purse or briefcase will hold, remember that while airlines allow you “one carry on and one personal bag” they don’t say what that is. Use a smaller duffel for your second bag. If you need a briefcase or backpack, put a smaller bag on the bottom of your duffel and pull it out when you arrive.

Packing cubes. Here’s another masterclass secret. Keep your various items organized in their own packing cubes. It makes it much easier to organize everything in your bag before you leave. It also makes it easier to find what you need when you arrive.

Reduce your toiletries to the essentials. Most hotels provide shampoo, conditioner, soap, and body lotion. Besides not bringing them, you can use the hotel’s offerings to substitute for shaving cream, cold cream, shoe polish, and more. Be creative.

Electronics

A tablet with a keyboard replaces a heavier laptop. If your vision’s good enough, use your phone with a Bluetooth keyboard and avoid the tablet too.

I also carry a Kindle simply because it fits in my pocket and I don’t worry about losing it as I do with my iPad (which I use for my presentations).

Apple user? Buy the more powerful USB‑C Adapter and cable. It’s faster than the little white block and makes it easy to charge everything. Plus, you only need to bring one.

Lay your cables out and put what you need in a little pouch for travel. Nothing extra.

If you spend a little time and effort on traveling with only what you need, you’ll find your journeys are less stressful and a lot more fun. And if you carry a credit card with you, you can always buy what you find you left at home and suddenly can’t live without.

[bruceturkel]

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When Opportunity Knocks…

When Opportunity Knocks…

Last Sunday was the Das Renn Treffen show in South Miami. Over 450 Porsches – from 60-year old 356s to brand spanking new 911 GT3s – were parked on the streets of South Miami. It’s the largest Porsche show on the Eastern Seaboard and probably the second largest in the country (after the Luftgekült show in Los Angeles).

Not only were the streets of South Miami loaded with Porsches, they were also loaded with people. And as you might imagine, a good percentage of the people roaming the streets were affluent consumers, interested in buying Porsche cars, eating brunch, and shopping for whatever else suited their fancy. To paraphrase the old saying, collectors of vintage German sports cars put the conspicuous in conspicuous consumption.

So you would think the retailers in South Miami would be overjoyed at their good luck. You’d think they’d not only throw their doors wide open, but they’d put out displays of unique products, maybe offer Porsche or racing-themed promotions, serve mimosas or do whatever they could to entice the gaggle of affluent shoppers wandering past into their stores.

You’d be wrong.

Believe it or not, most of the shops in the Sunset Road area were closed during the show. Not only didn’t they support what has grown into an enormous local event, they didn’t even bother to open their doors to take advantage of all the people in their neighborhood. Instead, store after store greeted their new visitors with darkened storefronts and “CLOSED” signs hanging in their windows.

Don’t forget that this is in a day and age when pundits are suggesting that bricks and mortar retail stores are spiraling downward towards obsolescence. According to Forbes Magazine, the Census Department release on retail sales for June 2017 gave a sobering look at the current state of American retail. Every major reporting category except electronics and appliance stores and sporting goods, hobby, book and music stores showed a monthly decline. And PWC’s 2017 Retail Trends Report was even clearer, “To be sure, the trends are not good for store-based retailers, which generally complain of challenging conditions and frugal consumers.”

But what do these “store-based retailers” complain about when the throngs of people eager to visit their stores are not “frugal consumers” but affluent, eager shoppers? How about when the most “challenging condition” their customers might experience is having to make their way around a one and a half million-dollar Porsche 959 or an $850,000 Porsche 918 in order to enter a store?

My father used to say, “When opportunity knocks you can’t say ‘come back later.”

But what do you do when opportunity doesn’t knock but instead blares its autobahn-tuned air horns asking to come in and purchase when your store is closed?

[bruceturkel]

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A Dozen Oysters and your Brand Strategy.

Are you stressed out  how you’re going to add an effective digital strategy to your marketing mix? Are you wondering how valuable Facebook “likes” and tweets on Twitter are to your business? Is the alphabet soup of online acronyms — SEO, SEM, HTML, ROI — driving you mad?

Maybe you need to take a lesson from the Swan Oyster Depot. For those of you who haven’t been lucky enough to pull up a stool at the Swan and slurp down some briny fresh oysters, here’s what Condé Nast Traveler says: “Opened in 1912, Swan Oyster Depot isn’t a restaurant, it’s a landmark. Today, the fifth generation is behind the original marble counter, and the ground rules remain unchanged. Except for the rich, creamy clam chowder, everything here is served cold. Cooking means tossing shrimp salad with Louie dressing, shucking oysters, or cracking crab. The stools at the long, narrow counter fill up during the lunch hour, so try to get there before or after noon. But be warned, the owners close when they sell out of the day’s inventory.” What Condé Nast doesn’t say is that besides the freshest oysters, crab, shrimp, and sea urchin, the Swan also serves frosty Anchor Steam on draft and some of the best sourdough bread I’ve ever eaten. And they only take cash. I’m one of those impatient people who hates to wait in line. Yet I happily stand out on Polk Street in the perpetual queue waiting for one of the few barstools to open up. I’ve never been there exactly at opening time, but I bet there’s a line then too. I’ve never seen the Swan Oyster Depot without a line out front. As far as I’m concerned, the Swan Oyster Depot has it all – great food, great service, a great location, and a great story. But one thing they don’t have is a digital strategy. How do I know this? There’s a hand-written sign on the wall that told me so.

“**ATTENTION!!** Swan Oyster Depot!! Does Not Have a WEBSiTE!! Anything you see ONLine is UNauthorized!! We Only deal person to person!!! NO WEBSiTE!!

Funny thing is that besides telling customers that the Swan Oyster Depot doesn’t have a website, the sign does tell you the other things that make the lunch counter special. The handwritten quality of the sign is indicative of their hands-on approach to their food, their décor, and their service. And the idea that they “only deal person to person” is a clear confirmation of the Swan’s friendly, personal, service. Because regardless of how many people are waiting outside coveting your stool, the guys behind the counter will tell you to take your time, relax, and enjoy. And they’ll happily discuss the origin of the oysters, carefully slice your smoked salmon or tell you the story about when their grandfather bought the restaurant. The Swan does all this because after 115 years in business they know who they are and why their customers keep coming back. Whether they know it or not, the guys behind the counter have carefully aligned their products and services and their authentic truth, with their customers’ aspirational desires. They clearly and consistently talk their talk and walk their walk and reinforce their brand value. There’s a great lesson inside the Swan Oyster Depot for all of us. Not to mention a dozen Kumamotos and a pint of Anchor Steam.

[bruceturkel]

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You Could Build a Business on That.

Recently my very successful speaker friend Bill Cates was invited to do a TED talk.

Bill reached out to me to find out how I had enjoyed my TED experience and what specific recommendations I might have for him. After answering his questions, I directed him to my website so he could watch my talk:

Bill’s (edited) response:

“I watched your video. I can see why this is a great video for you. I gave it a like while I was there. 😊

The breakdown of Obama’s 3-word slogan is great.

I love your concept: ‘Your brand is based on 3 words, All about them.’ (Sounds like the title of a great book. Oh wait… it IS the title of a great book. 😊)

The most powerful part of the talk (for me) is this statement: ‘The most powerful brands, the most compelling brands, the brands that help you win your argument, sell your product, sell your service, do not make the consumer feel good about you. They make your customer feel good themselves!’

You could build a business on that!”

Here’s the funny thing:

I HAVE built a business on that.

And you can too.

Many of us have been trained to build businesses on what we do. It’s such a strong part of business culture that it wasn’t too many years ago that people actually named themselves based on their occupations.

Ms. Goldsmith was a goldsmith.

Mr. Baker baked.

Ms. Fletcher made arrows.

Mr. Bowman shot those arrows.

Carter transported goods. Smitty was a blacksmith.

But today, too many forces conspire against us being successful just by being good at what we do.

This is due to the ascendance of democratized information, the ubiquity of overnight delivery of goods, the consistency of computerized production, and the 24/7/365 nature of social media. Thanks to these factors, your clients and customers have unlimited access to people and companies who do what you do and sell what you sell.

Are you better than the competition? Of course, you are. Just Lake Wobegon, “where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average,” the members of my blog community are also the best at what they do.

But today that’s just not enough.

First, most of your customers and clients aren’t qualified to determine if you’ve done a good job for them or not. After all, if they were as good at doing what you do they would do it themselves. You spent years studying your profession. Then you spent more years honing your craft. Or, as the old saying goes, “you’ve forgotten more than they’ll ever know.”

Second, unless you sell an instant gratification product or service, your clients won’t know how well you did your job until days, weeks, or even years have gone by. (By the way, the same thing will happen if they choose to work with your competition.)

You might not discover the true outcome of your doctor’s knowledge and effectiveness until the end of your life. You probably won’t know the true extent of your investment professional’s techniques and talents until enough years have passed for your investment strategy to pay off (or not). And you certainly won’t know if your insurance broker recommended the right products for you until you actually experience the event they’ve helped you protect against.

So why do we spend so much time, effort, and money trying to prove that we’re better at something that our customers aren’t capable of properly evaluating in the first place?

Instead, the way to win your argument, sell your product or sell your service, is to make your customer feel good themselves. And you do this by creating an All About Them brand that speaks not just to your potential customers’ needs but to their prevailing aspirations.

Showing your customers not just how you can help them achieve what they want but how they can be who they want to be puts you in a singular position way above your competition. And making your customers feel good not about just what you can do for them but about themselves will secure your place in their roster of critical contributors to their own success.

To reiterate my friend Bill’s good words: “You could build a business on that!”

[bruceturkel]

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Futureproof Your Brand and Your Business.

Did you know that more than 4.4 million working Americans are drivers? According to the Census Bureau, more than 2% drive trucks, 0.4% drive busses, and 0.3% drive cabs and other vehicles. In most parts of the US, truck driving is the most common job for men. In The Bronx and Queens, Southern Texas, and Southern California, up to 9% of workers are drivers.

You already know that self-driving trucks and self-driving cars are getting closer and closer to being the new normal, even if the technology isn’t quite ready for primetime. And even when it is ready, the transition away from human drivers will take time. But a driverless reality is undoubtedly in our near future and when that happens up to 10 to 15 percent of the male workforce will find themselves newly out of work.

As the seldom sensitive Uber CEO Travis Kalanick said: The reason Uber could be expensive is because you’re not just paying for the car… (But) when there’s no other dude in the car, the cost of taking an Uber anywhere becomes cheaper.

But chances are you don’t drive for a living, so why do you care? As you might logically see it, the advantages for someone who doesn’t make their living from driving will be great. A driverless future offers lower prices, safer roads, less congestion, and the improved fuel economy and lower emissions that computer-controlled driving promises. And while increasing unemployment rolls might concern you, one could also argue that technological advances have transformed many other industries and their employees have found jobs in the emerging opportunities the new technologies provide.

But what if your customers were mostly middle-class men? Would it concern you that up to 15% of your customer base would lose most of their purchasing power in the next five, ten or twenty years?

What if you sold guns?

In 2017, a Pew Research survey found that 48% of men say they own guns. A joint study between sociologists at Northeastern and Harvard universities found that despite the total number of gun owners decreasing from 25% in 1994 to 22% in 2015, the quantity of guns grew by over 70 million pieces. That means that the same group of gun buyers have been steadily adding to their personal armories.

From that you could logically suppose that if those buyers suddenly lost their purchasing power, they would simply stop buying more and more weapons. And if you were in the armament business, it would make sense that you would be concerned about the diminishing income opportunities for an enormous swath of your customer base.

To combat this, the gun industry has set off on an active strategy of attracting disenfranchised male buyers. They are selling guns as the natural connection between arms and the diminishing sense of masculinity that comes with a number of occurrences, including joblessness. I thought about this after reading a fascinating thesis by Columbia University student Julia Udell. In her paper, Udell shows how the gun industry capitalizes on the growing zeitgeist of male insecurity.

As Udell explains it, the gun industry uses three points — aggression, protection, and hyper- sexuality — to build a strong connection between men and firearms. For example, on Piers Morgan Tonight in 2011, Ted Nugent said: “Anybody that wants to make me unarmed and helpless… we’re going to vote you out of office or suck on my machine gun.”

As Udell points out, besides his fervent gun lobby, Nugent was lobbying for masculinity. Nugent’s desire to be perceived as strong rather than helpless, along with the hypersexual nature of his threat, reflects the same strategy gun companies use to keep their customers buying.

Before you go all NRA or James Brady on me, please look at the bigger picture. Because regardless of how you feel about gun control, guns or the way consumers are manipulated into buying them, the learning for futureproofing your business is clear:

Your consumers’ reasons for buying what you sell, as well as their ability to pay for those purchases, is changing faster than ever before. And whether your customers are soon-to-be-unemployed cab and truck drivers or household purchasers who have just discovered Amazon Prime, it’s critical for your messaging and sales strategies to change as well.

Otherwise you will find your business as extinct as our country’s drivers are about to find theirs.

[bruceturkel]

New Post has been published on TurkelTalks

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I’m Smart. You’re Stupid.

Each Monday morning I look forward to reading my friend and mastermind partner Alan Weiss’ blog posts. This week Alan wrote: “We live in an age of micro-aggressions and polarization… If you voted for the ‘other’ party, you don’t merely have a differing opinion, you’re stupid.”

That same afternoon I was a guest on Richard Quest’s news program on CNN International. Richard and I discussed Proctor & Gamble’s Tide brand and the problem they’re having with their TidePods. Specifically, teenagers are daring each other to bite into the brightly colored pods and swallow the liquid inside. Then they go on YouTube and post videos of themselves foaming at the mouth and vomiting. It’s kind of like today’s digital version of your mom accusing the teenage you of jumping off the roof just because all your friends did it too.

Except in this case kids don’t get banged up or maybe even break a leg. They poison themselves. ABC News says,  “The Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) reported eight deaths related to laundry detergent pod ingestion since these products hit the market in 2012, through mid-2017.”

Richard wanted to know what the proper PR plan would be for effective crises management. My recommendation was not what you might expect to hear from a brand specialist – I suggested that P&G immediately take the product off the shelf. I reasoned that the profits P&G was making from the pods would be dwarfed by the cost of the negative effects of this unfortunate fad. And because of the ubiquitous power of social media, the outcry and backlash could reach far beyond anything Tide could manage.

One of the great things about being on TV these days is you get instant feedback on how you’re doing. All it takes is a quick log on to Twitter to see what people are saying or if they even bother saying anything at all. So when I got off the show I pulled out my phone and checked my Twitter feed. Some viewers agreed with my thoughts. Some did not. And to Alan’s point, a few shared their micro-aggressions.

@ItoKish tweeted: “@BruceTurkel Your idea about TidePods is f<#%ing stupid!”

@TiffanyTillman posted this: “@BruceTurkel You’re an asshole for insinuating that @Tide should remove tidepod from shelves cause idiot teenagers are doing crap.”

It was immediate confirmation that Alan Weiss was right. Just because I presented an opinion @ItoKish and @TiffanyTillman don’t agree with, I am an asshole. Or as Alan wrote (rather more eloquently than those two, I might add): “This pathology is evident daily (online), that great societal mirror… if you disagree with the writer, you must somehow be ‘damaged’… because the writer can’t possibly be wrong or even entertain another point of view.”

Was I insulted by Ito’s opinion or Tiffany’s name calling? Ironically, they did me a favor. By calling me out and calling an “asshole” the viewers also called additional attention to my TV appearance and my opinion.

I have two main goals when I get on a national new program. I want to build my own brand awareness and I want to position myself as the go-to person when sophisticated clients have serious brand issues. Tiffany’s and Ito’s crude outbursts simply served to spread the word and help people recognize that I have a different way of looking at problems and solutions.

People who already know me have already made up their minds about who I am and what I know. I’m confident that whether or not they also think I’m “f<#%ing stupid” or “an assshole” has little to do with Twitter posts. And people who don’t know me either don’t care whether or not I’m an asshole or they might take an extra minute to click on the CNNi link to see for themselves.

Where could this lead? Again, let’s turn to Alan Weiss:

“You need to have a fascinating conversation with your clients and potential clients. When they realize you’re a thought leader with interesting ways of looking at things they want to keep you around and will find ways to utilize your skills.”

Without it being their intention, Tiffany and the other name callers used the power of profanity to spice up my CNN appearance. Their comments will bring a bit of conflict and controversy to my public persona. And while the metrics are hard to follow, it’s safe to say that more people will view the link now than would have seen it without the outbursts (when I published this blog post, 2,694 people had viewed the clip on LinkedIn alone).

Will these people be potential clients or influencers? Again, it’s hard to say but probably not. But who knows? The whole concept of online virality is based on the energy and actions of people distributing information to people who view it and pass it on and so on and so forth. And who knows where that activity will ultimately lead?

Time will tell. Because clearly, I’m too “f<#%ing stupid!” to know.

[bruceturkel]

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The Evolution of the Species.

The Evolution of the Species.

I have a very good friend who has a very specific business problem. Each time I spend time with them they talk about this issue. Each time they complain, they complain about this issue. And each time they do, they point out the same cause for the issue. Of course, they don’t think they have anything to do with the reason they’re having the problem in the first place.

Here’s the rub: the cause they’re illustrating is not the reason they have the problem. That much is obvious to me, obvious to whomever else is listening, and probably obvious to the clients my friend is having problems with.

One day I decided to take matters into my own hands. I told my friend that I wanted to have lunch with them. When we got together, I told them that I was there for an intervention.

I explained that there was no upside for me to have this conversation. I told them that when I was done they’d probably be mad at me which was not my intent. Instead, I wanted them to see a simple solution to their problem that they simply didn’t see before.

From there, I thought I was going to explain the problem and what I thought was the solution. But very few words had passed my lips before my friend started explaining why I was wrong, why the problem was bigger than I understood, and why they were doing the right thing.

So much for being helpful.

Perhaps they were right, who knows? What I do know is that my friend wasn’t open to understanding or exploring the issue.

Some people want to evolve. Some don’t.

All this went through my mind this morning when I read a blog post from another friend of mine. This person wrote:

“I talked to a very bright guy I know recently whom I really respect. He’s creative and articulate and interesting. During our time together he mentioned something negative that someone else has said about me. I have always called this kind of reporting “schoolyard gossip.” I remember when our kids’ fourth grade teacher told us during a parent evening at school, “Here’s my deal: If you don’t believe everything your kids tell you about me, I won’t believe everything they tell me about you.”

I wrote back:

“Hmmmmmm. I resemble that remark.  Thanks for the insight and giving me something to think about. I’m always looking to evolve.”

Of course, I could be wrong. But assuming that they were talking about me, I surely enjoyed being called “very bright,” “creative,” “articulate,” and “interesting.” But I didn’t enjoy how my actions were perceived. Because while I might have thought I was being helpful, clearly I was not.

Only after I read what had been written did I realize how petty and gossipy I had been. And whether or not that was my intent is irrelevant. I acted badly and got called on my actions.

Forget about my disappointment in myself. Instead, let’s try to look at this constructively. You see, I realize this is a great way to start a new year. I now have something to look at, something to work on, something to strive for.

I have written many columns about PR crises management — mostly taking the best and worst examples from big companies and explaining what happened. I do this to provide entrepreneurs and small business owners like you with proven, practical advice. But here is an example taken right out of real life.

Just as I would suggest to my clients, I need to follow my own 4As of Crises Management:

Accept the mistake without being defensive.

Acknowledge your error to the people who matter.

Apologize quickly and sincerely.

Act to fix the problem.

I know what I did. I wrote to my friend to acknowledge my error. I am sorry. I am committed to not do this again.

Is this how people evolve? I suppose that remains to be seen. With this article I’m telling you a little bit about how I’m going to try to evolve in 2018. Or, as my friend wrote back when I reached out: “If you evolve anymore, you’ll be flapping your arms and flying.”

I wish the same for you.

[bruceturkel]

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The More Things Change, The More Things Change.

Retail purchases used to be made in bricks and mortar stores. Today, more and more sales are made online.

Politicians and celebrities used to communicate with voters through press secretaries, publicists, and multi-level public relations. Today, more and more of them tweet directly to their audiences.

Big organizations used to control the conversation with their customers. Today, more and more customers have larger social media footprints than some Fortune 500 companies.

Currencies used to be valued based on the strength of their securitization, be it precious metals or the good faith of their issuing governments. Today, more and more crypto currencies are changing the way people buy, sell, and invest with no clear country of origin.

People used to go theaters to watch movies and arenas to watch sporting events. Today, more and more consumers have high-def digital screens and use cable, satellite, and Internet connections to bring worldwide entertainment right into their living rooms, their computers, and their handheld devices.

Children used to be seen and not heard. Today, more and more of them are still not heard, but only because they’re too busy texting on their cellphones to actually bother to talk to their elders.

Chances are you nodded yes to most or all of the recent phenomena I’ve just listed. Yet chances are also that you continue to manage your brand the way you did before any of these things were creating successes and failures around the world.

IBM’s brand used to stand for computer equipment. Hell, their name was an acronym for International Business Machines. Today they sell middleware, software, hosting, and consulting services. Machines? Not so much.

Apple used to stand for home computing. Today they offer watches, music, apps, cloud hosting and operate a breakthrough retail business — both online and off. Yet with all that, their phone business outsells everything else they do.

Amazon used to sell books. Today they sell almost anything you can name, including logistics and cloud services and well as providing retail opportunities to small brands and manufacturers everywhere.

UPS used to sell package delivery. Today they’ve taken what they learned and moved into the logistics consulting business, selling their know-how to large companies, organizations and governments.

As we rush headlong into 2018 and the brave new world of ubiquitous connectivity, democratized information, and IoT adoption (Internet of Things), let’s talk about your brand.

Kentucky Fried Chicken changed their name to KFC to take “fried” out of their name.

Dunkin’ Donuts is considering rebranding themselves as Dunkin’. Why? To “reinforce that Dunkin’ Donuts is a beverage-led brand and coffee leader.” In other words, they want to take “Donuts” out of their name.

Does your brand still stand for the function you provide for your customers? Take a look at the companies above and you’ll see that perhaps that’s not the best strategy to follow into the future.

Instead, the way to help futureproof your brand is to build it around the true emotional benefit you provide for your customers. By letting them know that their lives are better because they do business with you, you’ll be letting your customers know that they should continue to work with you because of — or in spite of — where technology takes us.

After all, a good brand makes people feel good. But a great brand makes people feel good about themselves.

[bruceturkel]

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Are You a Dancing Bear?

A dancing bear is a wild bear captured when the animal was young or a bear born in captivity and used to entertain people in the streets for money. Dancing bears were commonplace throughout Europe and Asia from the Middle Ages to the nineteenth century, and could still be found in the 21st century in some countries. Shockingly, they were still present in the streets of Spain as recently as 2007.

Dancing bears were also commonplace in the Indian subcontinent. According to the BBC, the last of them were freed in 2009.

Besides the injustice of taking these animals from their natural habitats and forcing them to perform unnatural acts, their training regimes tended to be cruel as well. The bears would be chained and caged, muzzled, and beaten into submission. Even standing on their hind legs for long periods of time was an unnaturally painful posture that needed to be coerced.

To train bears to perform acts they wouldn’t normally do in the wild, their trainers hopscotched back and forth between pleasure and pain – frightening the animals with whips and rewarding them with sugar cubes. Obviously, this risk/reward strategy broke the animal’s spirit and further coerced it to do what the trainer demanded. Eventually these two extremes became the bear’s poles of existence; from pain to pleasure and back again.

But assuming the injustice of trained dancing bears was mostly eliminated nearly a decade ago, why is this a significant subject for my last blog post of 2017?

The beginning of a new year is the time that many of us think back on our last year and plan for what we’re going to do differently in the coming year. Rather than simply list the things you’re going to do (“This is the year I’m going to write my book”) and the things you’re not going to do (“I am not going to eat carbs anymore”), why not look at your motivations for doing these things?

Are you operating from fear or are you looking towards accomplishing the things that will make you feel good about yourself and your life? Are you yo-yoing back and forth pain and pleasure or are you moving positively into the future? And even more importantly, are you writing resolutions that allow you to further express your authentic truth or are you using resolutions to force yourself into unnatural behaviors?

As we head into the new year, maybe it’s time for you to reflect on whether or not you are using punishments and rewards much like the whips and sugar cubes that coerced dancing bears to get up on their hind legs and hop around when the music played.

Wasn’t much fun for the bear. Not much fun for you, either.

Mark Twain said, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” Since there’s nothing we can do about Twain’s first day, why not make it your New Year’s promise to work on point two? True, you’ll probably never actually figure out why you’re here (or even if there actually is a reason) but the exploration will help you decide what to do (and what not do) next. What’s more, figuring this out will pay off in your business and your brand.

Instead of just focusing on the things you do, concentrate on identifying who you are and why that persona resonates with your current and potential customers’ wants and desires. Because even though the product or service you sell may provide the actual result your clients need, the relationships you build with them — relationships based on an acceptance and understanding of your authentic truth — will entice them to do business with you.

People don’t choose what you do. They choose who you are. Of course, you want them to choose to do business with you, not just any dancing bear that comes along. But first you have to let them know who you are and why you matter to them. If you want to learn how, click HERE.

One thing you can be sure of, it’s not the whips or the sugar cubes!

[bruceturkel]

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Resolutions that Matter.

Resolutions that Matter.

Perhaps you’ve promised yourself one of these:

“I’m going to go to the gym every day.”

“I’m going to stop eating carbs, sugar, and everything else that’s bad for me.”

“I’m not going to procrastinate anymore.”

“I’m going to get at least seven or eight hours of sleep each night.”

It’s no wonder some of these resolutions might sound familiar. Each year we burden ourselves with lots of unrealistic promises that we simply know we’re not going to keep. Truth is, I think the less realistic we make the resolutions, the more easily we can ignore them. Perhaps we even subconsciously set ourselves up to fail.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Then it’s no wonder most of us look at New Year’s Resolutions as a fool’s errand.

But what if we could actually do something for the new year that mattered? What if we actually promised to do something that could really move us forward? Better yet, what if we actually prepared for the new year to give our resolutions a chance to actually work for us?

Here are a few suggestions that work for me:

Reflect and Respond.

My friend Karen Hirschfeld is a genius executive coach who works with Fortune 100 CEOs all around the world. From her perch in Geneva she helps the people running companies run their own businesses — and their lives — more effectively. Each year about this time Karen sends her clients a list of sentence completion exercises that helps them review what they accomplished in the year gone by and what they’re planning for the year to come. This way, their New Year’s resolutions are not random but rather are based on results from the past and thoughtful plans for the future.

Clear Your Space.

I don’t know about you, but by the end of the year my various spaces are pretty untidy. My desk is covered with papers and business cards that I’ve been meaning to deal with. My computer desktop is scattered with files and emails that I’ve been planning to put away. My night table is stacked with books and magazines that I’ve been wanting to read. And my mind is cluttered with thoughts and projects I’ve been trying to get to. That’s why I declare the last two weeks in December “info amnesty.” I either put the stuff away or pitch it in the trash. Face it, if you haven’t dealt with the piles by now, you’re not going to next week or next year either. Instead, give yourself one last chance to do it or dump it and start the new year with a clean slate.

Audit Your Brand.

Pardon me for saying so, but your website sucks. So does your social media presence and your marketing materials. And so do mine. It’s not because they were bad when we created them. It’s because the world has changed drastically since then. Things moved on while we were busy running our businesses and now our materials are so twenty minutes ago. So why not take the next few days to look at everything you’re using to promote yourself and figure out what you can do to upgrade them into 2018?

To help you with all these things, I’ve created a new online branding and marketing program called Brand Billions. It’s the new online environment where I’ll be able to share everything I know about brand building with all the people I communicate with. The goal of this new community is to get all of us ready to compete and prosper in the brave new world we all find ourselves in.

If you’re interested in learning more, simply go HERE. I know you’ll be inspired by what you find. If you take a look before the end of the year you’ll even find some very special new year’s gifts waiting for you. After all, if I want you to make resolutions that matter, the least I can do is make it worth your while to follow my lead.

In the meantime, I wish you a very happy and peaceful holiday season and a very prosperous new year.Each year we burden ourselves with lots of unrealistic promises that we simply know we’re not going to keep. Truth is, I think the less realistic we make the resolutions, the more easily we can ignore them. Perhaps we even subconsciously set ourselves up to fail.

[bruceturkel]

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Dealing With Sexual Harassment in Your Company

For months, we’ve been watching as high and mighty men in business, politics, and entertainment have been fired or forced to resign because of their reprehensible behavior with the women (and sometimes men) in their businesses and in their lives.

The list includes Fox’s Roger Ailes and Bill O’Reilly; NBC’s Matt Lauer; CBS’s Charlie Rose; Public Radio’s Garrison Keillor and John Hockenberry; politicians Trent Franks, John Conyers Jr., Al Franken, and Tony Cornish; Entertainment moguls Harvey Weinstein and Russel Simmons; businessman Mario Batali; and entertainers Kevin Spacey, Andy Dick, and Louis C.K, and many more.

And those are just some of the names you recognize (The New York Times keeps a regularly updated list HERE).

As you’ll see over the next few months, this list is just the tip of the iceberg. Soon, more workaday businessmen will start reaping the ills of their bad behavior. When that becomes commonplace, businesses in your own hometown — hell, even the company you work for — might have to start dealing with the long overdue fallout of sexual harassment. As the old saying predicted: From Wall Street to Main Street.

Sorry to say, I have no good advice for how companies should deal with the psychological or human resources fallout of such shameful conduct. Counseling, reparations, and ongoing team building are all outside my area of expertise. But when it comes to dealing with the branding consequences and crises management that many companies will have to deal with to stay in business, my know-how runs deep.

Simply put, there are four things your company must do to manage the public perception nightmare that will come along with accusations of egregious misconduct. I call them the Four A’s of Crises Management.

The Four A’s of Crises Management

Accept. As my friend Ray Ruga constantly reminds me, you must define your issue before someone else does. Nature abhors a vacuum and your competition is just waiting for the opportunity to fill empty airspace with negative comments. Accept what was done, decide on your best strategy, and stick to it. But do it as soon as possible and before it’s too late.

Acknowledge. Get all the information in front of the public as quickly as possible. Just like obsessively poking your tongue into a painful cavity, nothing is worse than bad information that oozes out little by little, bit by bit. It’s crucial for you to step up to the plate, admit all your company’s wrong doings, and move forward. If the public needs to hear bad news, they need to hear it from you. All at once.

Apologize. Apologize honestly, sincerely, and completely. “I’m sorry IF I did something to hurt you” is not an apology. Neither is, “I’m sorry BUT it was a different time and I didn’t know it was wrong.” If your words of remorse contain “if” or “but,” chances are you’re not being as contrite as you need to be.

Act. Fix your problem proactively, positively, and permanently. If you need direction look at the crises management case study standard bearer.

Back in 1982, bottles of  Tylenol were tampered with and the poisoned product killed seven people. Yet by handling their crisis properly Tylenol not only overcame the nightmare scenario’s effect on their bottom line but returned stronger and more profitable than before. What’s more, they reclaimed their position as the leading pain reliever in the market. It wasn’t that Tylenol didn’t have serious problems that needed to be corrected, it was that they knew how to properly deal with their problems.

Tylenol acted immediately. That meant they not only removed and destroyed every single bottle of Tylenol on the shelves (not just the ones in the problem regions) but they installed tamper proof caps and redundant fail-safe foil wrappers on every bottle to assure consumers that their product was safe.

Of course none of this works if you don’t cut the head off the snake while  you’re doing everything you can to cure the snakebite. Tylenol’s example shows companies dealing with sexual harassment claims that having the guilty executives quit, be fired, or step down is not enough. After you’ve eliminated the wrongdoer you must fix the problem AND show how you’re making sure it will never ever happen again. For the good of everyone else in the company, you must also appeal to your audience’s emotional side with an effective crises mitigation program.

Remember that people make decisions based on their emotions and justify those decisions with facts. Brands that forget this simple truism do so at their own peril.

[bruceturkel]

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What Do YOU Think Disruption Means?

Sometime in the 1980s, President Baking’s Murrays released a new cracker product designed specifically to compete with Nabisco’s Ritz Cracker. Murray’s product looked the same, tasted the same, and was delivered in a red and yellow package that looked like the Ritz Cracker box. Even the name left no question about what their cracker was all about. Not only did it sound like Ritz but it almost rhymed with the original cracker. Murray’s named their new cracker “Hits.”

Take a look at the two boxes side-by-side and you’ll see what I mean:

But similarity alone was not enough to compel enough consumers to change their buying habits. According to Deborah St. Thomas, “Nabisco introduced Ritz crackers to the Philadelphia and Baltimore markets November 21, 1934.  They were well received from the start with their unique light and buttery flavor and a reasonably low selling price of 19 cents a box. The name was also important because it conjured up images of wealth by alluding to the posh Ritz-Carlton Hotel in New York, which elicited the promise of better times to come. This had great appeal to Americans during the Great Depression years. By 1935, Nabisco was selling the cracked nationally and within three years it became the best-selling cracker in the world.

Instead, Murray’s marketing team had to do something to shake cracker consumers out of their habitual lethargy. And so, they created a package design that not only looked like the Ritz package but caused consumers to do a double take.

Take a look at what multiple boxes looked like on the grocery shelf:

Do you see something different, something that might cause you to pay more attention to two Hits’ boxes than you might have done if you only saw one? And if you did see the difference, would that compel you to buy two boxes so you could repeat the trick at home?

Needless to say, the word that showed up when two boxes were placed side-by-side looked coincidental enough that consumers could wonder whether or not the comic combination was intentional. In fact, when my friend Buzz Fleischman showed me the Hits package, he wasn’t convinced the new word wasn’t simply a funny accident.

But you and I are too savvy to be fooled, aren’t we?

After all, when Burger King instructed us to Have It Your Way, we knew they weren’t talking about burgers, right?

And when Nike told us to Just Do It, we knew they weren’t only talking about athletics, didn’t we?

Disruption – defined as a “disturbance or problem that interrupts an event, activity, or process – was a viable marketing technique long before pop-up ads interrupted your web browsing or restaurant suggestions interrupted your directions on Waze.

For years savvy marketers have been looking for ways to interrupt your view, make you question your traditional activity or try something different. And whether you’re trying to sell crackers, direct clients to your investment company, or fill your cruise ships, disruption is still an effective way to reach your potential customers. Because unless you’re the market leader, lulling them to continue doing what they’ve always done is not the way to build your business. Getting their attention is.

[bruceturkel]

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You Cannot Square A Circle.

You Cannot Square a Circle.

“…so, they spend all this money, but they’re not doing it right,” my friend Mitch said. “I know there’s a big business there. All we have to do is square the circle.”

“Huh? I interrupted. “What does square the circle mean?” You can’t turn a circle into a square!”

David was waving his hand like that obnoxious kid in your sixth-grade class who always had the answer. “I know, I know,” David said, barely able to control himself.

“Okay, David, tell us… but please spare us the long mathematical explanation” I begged.

Even though David’s a math savant, he doesn’t get to show off his knowledge very often. He could barely control himself.

“That a circle cannot be squared was not known to the ancients because the Greeks didn’t grasp the concept of irrational numbers,” he started. “Indeed, one of the Pythagoreans was killed for attempting to explain that the square root of two is indeed an irrational number. But before considering irrational numbers like the square root of two or pi, let’s consider rational numbers. Rational numbers are the RATIO of two integers.”

I already regretted asking David to explain. But it was too late.

“Rational numbers come in two flavors, those that repeat and those that terminate. 3/4 is the ratio of the integers three and four. Its decimal equivalent is .75. 3/4 terminates. 2/3 is a rational number that repeats. 2/3 equals .66666… The sixes repeat forever. 2/3 does not terminate.

But irrational numbers neither terminate nor repeat. The square root of two is equal to precisely 1.414213562.”

“I’ll bet you didn’t have to look that up,” I smirked.

David nodded and continued: “Pi is also an irrational number. The infinite decimal expansion of pi neither terminates nor repeats. The first few digits of pi are 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288. I could go on.”

“Please don’t” we said in unison.

“But you get the point. Unlike 3/4 which terminates, unlike 2/3 which repeats, irrational numbers neither terminate nor repeat.”

We didn’t get the point but he was on a roll.

“Now that we have distinguished between rational and irrational numbers, we have to distinguish between two kinds of irrational numbers. The square root of two is an irrational number. Pi is an irrational number that is also transcendental. Irrational numbers, like the square root of two, can be the answer to quadratic equations. X squared -2 equals zero has an answer. The answer is the square root of two. But there are no quadratic equations that have pi as an answer. Pi is not only irrational but transcendental.

The area of a circle is pi times the radius squared. A circle with a radius five has an area of 25 pi.

The area of a square is the length of a side times itself. The area of a square with a side of eight is equal to eight squared or 64.

Squaring the circle means finding a circle whose area is exactly equal to the area of a square using only a finite number of steps. Since the area of the circle will always be a transcendental number and the area of a square has to be an integer, this can never happen in a finite number of steps. Therefore, you cannot square a circle. It’s a metaphor for that which cannot be done.”

“You mean it’s impossible,” said Mitch. “Why didn’t you just say that in the first place?”

David was knowledgeable. Mitch was erudite.

Which are you? Are you presenting your brand, your business, and yourself in simple terms that your customers can understand? Or are you wrapping yourself in acres of tiresome talk? Are you using big words when small ones will do? Are you using long rationalizations when simple examples offer more clarity? Are you writing an SAT essay when you should be tweeting a competitive advantage?

If you are, you too are squaring the circle.

[bruceturkel]

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Recently my very successful speaker friend Bill was invited to do a TED talk. He reached out to me to find out how I had enjoyed the experience and what specific recommendations I might have for him. After answering his questions, I directed him to my TEDx talk so he could watch my speech.

  His (edited) response:

“I watched your video. I can see why this is a great video for you. I gave it a like while I was there. 😊

The breakdown of Obama’s 3-word slogan is great.

I love your concept: ‘Your brand is based on 3 words, All about them.’ (Sounds like the title of a great book. Oh… it IS the tile of a great book. 😊)

The most powerful part of the talk (for me) is this statement: ‘The most powerful brands, the most compelling brands, the brands that help you win your argument, sell your product, sell your service, do not make the consumer feel good about you. They make your customer feel good themselves!’

You could build a business on that!”

Here’s the funny thing:

I HAVE built a business on that.

And you can too.

Many of us have been trained to build businesses on what we do. It’s such a strong part of business culture that it wasn’t too many years ago that people were named based on their occupations.

Goldsmith was a goldsmith.

Baker baked.

Fletcher made arrows.

Carter transported goods.

But today, too many forces conspire against us being successful if we only focus on being good at what we do.

This is due to the ascendance of democratized information, the ubiquity of overnight delivery of goods, the consistency of computerized production, and the 24/7/365 nature of social media. Thanks to these factors, your clients and customers have unlimited access to people and companies who do what you do and sell what you sell.

Are you better than the competition? Of course you are. Just like Lake Wobegon, “where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average,” the members of my blog community are also the best at what they do.

But today that’s simply not enough.

First, most of your customers and clients aren’t qualified to determine if you’ve done a good job for them or not. After all, if they were as good at doing what you do they would do it themselves.

Second, unless you sell an instant gratification product or service, your clients won’t know how well you did your job until days, weeks, or even years have passed.

Instead, the way to win your argument, sell your product or sell your service, is to make your customer feel good themselves. And you do this by creating an All About Them brand that speaks not just to your potential customers’ needs but to their prevailing aspirations.

Showing your customers not just how you can help them achieve what they want but how they can be who they want to be puts you in a singular position miles above your competition. And making your customers feel good not about just what you can do for them but about themselves will secure your place in their roster of critical contributors to their own success.

All you have to do is remember that a good brand makes people feel good. A great brand makes people feel good about themselves.

[bruceturkel]

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The Importance of Giving AND Taking.

Twelve people are sitting around a conference room littered with two days’ worth of empty coffee cups and water bottles, plus enough USB chargers to open an Apple Store. Our Mastermind is coming to an end. We’re busy tying up some loose ends and handing out assignments for our next meeting.

Most of the people in the room are exhausted and elated, excited and insightful. We’ve spent our time together talking about our successes and failures, and mapping our plans for when we go back to our regular lives.

Our system works something like this: we all introduce ourselves and talk about what we think our top three challenges are. Then we spend about 45 minutes listening to each of the other people around the room. They use their experience and knowledge to make suggestions for us to consider, helping us work through our problems. Finally, we agree to have someone in our group be our “accountability partner” and make sure we actually do what we say we are going to do.

The universal truth is that everyone in the group likes offering advice and talking about other people’s problems. But not everyone is quite as comfortable talking about themselves and their own concerns. It’s a matter of being vulnerable, yes, but there’s more to it. What I’ve discovered is that many of the people I’ve worked with in Mastermind groups — and many of the people I know in my life — are comfortable giving but not taking.

This seems to fly in the face of what you might naturally believe — that many people are self-centered and stingy and therefore prefer to take and not give. But that hasn’t been my experience. Instead, I find that people are generous to a fault with their expertise, skill sets, and contacts. But they’re not always as willing to be vulnerable enough to let people know what they need.

It’s also counterintuitive to something else you’d think is true – that the women in the group are more willing to be vulnerable than the male participants. I find there’s a pretty even split. The willingness to open up and share (and the unwillingness to do the same) seems to be the same for men and women. Generosity and desire to help others seems to be virtually universal. Willingness to ask for and to receive help?

Not so much.

The funny thing is that the people who happily offer help but don’t want to take help from others don’t even seem to know they’re holding back. And when the facilitator (that’s me) makes it clear that they’re not participating fully, they still don’t recognize their reluctance nor their reticence. Worse, they often push back, abnegating both the Mastermind group’s needs and its requirements.

Playground teeter totters and two-man saws do not operate properly unless there’s an equal contribution on either side. Newton’s third law of motion says that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Effective Mastermind groups require balance, too. Like Dr. Doolittle’s Pushmepullyou, there’s no moving forward without cooperation. And in an effective Mastermind group, there’s no giving without taking.

What relationships of yours require two-sided participation? Where can you make things better by opening yourself up to input and recommendations? Where are you holding back — not by not contributing — but by not being vulnerable?  Metaphorically speaking, balance is required in effective relationships.

Which of your relationships out of balance because you are giving but not taking?