desert worm

soph • 26 • she/her • colorado • acab i finally understand why garfield hates mondays

[capacity2]

I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

[starlit-syncopation]

actually i was in the NICU for a couple weeks after being pieced together by surgeons but whatever lmao

[capacity2]

That’s because she used klarna. To pay through 4 easy installments with no interest

[maplemaplemaplemaplemaple]

moral scrupulosity ocd affirmations compilation

[innerchildabortionclinic]

first youtube analysis i've wanted to watch voluntarily

[suigintou]

doing an apology video with genuine tears sobbing and wailing ripping my hair out and clawing at my face until i draw blood but i simply cannot describe what i did without laughing

[papasmoke]

john wick walks into a mcdonalds and puts a gold coin on the counter: I'd like a big mac, extra ketchup.

The zit-faced teen cashier: An excellent choice sir. *hands him a happy meal box with a glock with a drum mag inside*

[ines-nz]

[coughloop]

*so quiet you can barely hear me*

Do you sell wet cookies....

[i-dont-know-i-just-like-dragons]

I just woke up.

Why is this on my dashboard.

[coughloop]

[rongzhi]

English added by me :)

[buttart]

sluggo!!

[buttart]

4 yrs later, Sluggo still doesn’t rlly know what names are, but he does come waddling over when i call him

[notanadult]

BABY

[animentality]

[crazy-brazilian]

[gl0wc0r3]

[april]

[parks-and-recreation-department]

[guooey]

please please please help me find more cats smelling a smelly smell 

[glourp]

A compilation from the notes: stimky

[portaltwo-deactivated20231028]

i cant stop thinking. about this cat

[larkstonguesinaspicpart1]

Huh

[grimauxiliatrixofficial]

[stevenrogered]

Andrew “have some couth babygirl” Garfield strikes again