bravery;

where were youwhen everything was falling apart?

[brycolb]

elijbates​:

It’s all goo–heyyy! There she is! What’s up, my Issy Girl? 

-

“–Uncle Eli, since narwhals are real, do you think unicorns could be real too?”

I swear, whenever she opens her mouth, I have no clue what’s about to come out of it.

[brycolb]

gagemarcello​:

Yeah, that is special. It really was beautiful. I mean, the sunset alone was stunning, and not just ‘cause I was stoned by then.

I’m so excited for everyone to see what we shot. You know, I always told my wife we’d have to go somewhere tropical to renew our vows? Agh, anyways. I had a great time with the boys. It was still work, but the time I had off with them to just explore Hawaii and have fun was so cool. And Knox definitely got sugar-wasted with RJ on all of those treats you guys had at your little reception. My kids are obsessed with you all. Jett told me you looked so pretty in your wedding dress. It was so fucking cute.

Hawaii is a really special place for us, so it was all just very fitting. I don’t know. It’s so weird to look at him and be like... You’re my husband. I married you. It’s ‘til death do us part, bitch. He’s my best friend in the entire world, and I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else. Honestly. Truly. He’s the best and worst parts of me, and I loving him means loving me too. 

[brycolb]

gagemarcello​:

Hey, okay, okay. Mrs. Okalani has a beautiful ring to it. Congrats again. 

Do you want to tell us all a little about the elopement? I mean, I personally don’t want to relive it. I haven’t been that stoned in a long ass time, but ya’ll are worth it. 

Hey, man, no one made you smoke all that weed. You did that to yourself. 

But thank you! Um. It was beautiful. I have no other words to describe it. It was really last minute. We had all of three days to put it together. Eli walked me down the aisle. We had all of our kids up there too. Shiloh started crying and didn’t want anyone but Ryder to hold her. I got a little dress from a small local shop. Everything was just really simple yet elegant. I don’t regret it, but I do wish everyone could have been there. I know having Casey there would have been good for Ryder. I wish Aubree could’ve been there too. I don’t know. There were faces we missed, but, ultimately, it was about us. We got our marriage license when we got back, so I guess I am officially Bryce Okalani, now. It’s special having the same last name as my babies, though. I really love that part. 

[brycolb]

elijbates​:

It’s all goo–heyyy! There she is! What’s up, my Issy Girl? 

-

“--Uncle Eli, since narwhals are real, do you think unicorns could be real too?”

I swear, whenever she opens her mouth, I have no clue what’s about to come out of it.

[brycolb]

[brycolb]

[brycolb]

[brycolb]

gagemarcello​:

Nah, you’re as beautiful as always, Bryce. Alright let’s talk…relationship first, obviously. How’s this past year been with Ryder and the kiddos? Maybe more about what it was like visiting Hawaii with the entire family sorta thing. Just fill me in and I’ll stop ya when I need to.

-

My relationship with Ryder ages like a fine wine. We only get better with age. He, like, is genuinely my person. Hawaii used to be a sensitive subject, but now, going to Hawaii is the best thing we can do for our family and our relationship. There’s no where I feel closer to him than Hawaii. Not in the touristy parts or any of that, but... just walking the gravel roads, hiking through the greenery, walking the beaches, slicing mangos with pocket knives. Watching our babies play and run and take up space in a way they can’t when we’re here in Brooksville is really...... gah, beautiful. It’s just beautiful. And I don’t mean to get all misty eyed but we really are the best versions of ourselves in Hawaii. So when Ryder suggested we just elope and not think too much about anything, of course I did it. Most of our friends and family were there, we had our kids, we were in our favorite place. It just made sense. 

[gagemarcello]

Yeah, this set-up looks real nice. I’m happy with it. We’ll shoot some year-recaps and New Years stuff here in a few minutes. Do you want to wear the 2022 glasses or light-up necklace? Or neither and tell me to shove it?

[brycolb]

Oh heck yeah I do, Gage Marcello. How do I look?! Ridiculous, right? Okay, okay. Hit me with it, boys. What do you got for me this year? Ask the hard-hitting questions. I’m ready.

[brycolb]

ryder0k​:

“We can get a ring! I mean, not a real one now, but at home, a real one!” Ryder said, relieved, smiling into another kiss with Bryce, “You know Marty’s retiring soon and when he does the lifeguarding stuff is mine to own. Bigger pay! We can afford that one ring you’ve liked forever.” He rested his forehead against Bryce’s and inhaled deeply. It just felt right. Sometimes, he still got the kids left and right shoes mixed up and he’d try and try with all of his might to slide Shiloh’s foot into a wrong shoe. Then, when Ryder would finally figure that out and slip it on easily to the correct foot he knew because it felt right. Those little, foolish wrong shoe moments felt very much like this moment. Silly. Rushed. A little dumb. But above everything - right. 

“There’s tourists boutiques everywhere we look, Bry. We can find you a dress! And me a better dress shirt. And the girls…we gotta get them dresses and RJ, well, he can match with me. Then there’s flowers and an arch-thingy. What are those things called that people get married under anyways? I used to see ‘em all the time at the hotel when I worked there. I wonder if Keo still works there and could let us borrow one…”

Ryder had been seeing a therapist ever since the twins were born. Before that, he was doing AA meetings to stay sober, but he wanted more than that. So, he began therapy, and some days it really sucked. He’d come in puffy-eyed and exhausted and would be too tired to talk. Other days, he’d feel lighter than ever and play with the kids all night so Bryce could relax. He talked with his therapist about what age he felt at certain times. If he was in a rut or got yelled at at work or was in a situation that was uncomfortable his therapist asked him to think “what age do I feel now and what do I need?” Ryder thought about that in that very moment with Bryce. He felt giddy. He felt excited. He felt like running down the beach and jumping in the air. Like when he was a little boy and his mom finally took him to get a new surfboard after months of promising. It was really happening, and he was spiraling upward in the healthiest, happiest way he could ever do so.

“I think they’re just called arches, babe,” Bryce giggled. When she saw Ryder, she saw her children. She saw her life. She saw her love. She saw years of pain and years of turmoil. But she also saw years of triumph and years of healing. They fought like hell for their relationship, for their children, for the life they had created. Bryce had been thinking of writing some sort of memoir, but how to write a book, she didn’t know. She did think her story was an important one to tell, but she didn’t feel like the TLC show was necessarily a good place to show and tell her whole story.... but anyway, Bryce and Ryder’s relationship took work. She wasn’t a sixteen year old anymore. She wasn’t just jumping on the trampoline after school with a boy who was new in town, who she met as he was shirtless on the kitchen counter. To her, a wedding, a marriage... that meant forever. And what if Ryder couldn’t do forever? What if he relapsed? What if he cheated again? What if SHE cheated? Would SHE even be able to do forever? That’s why weddings were scary to her. Weddings were public proclamation of commitment, and what if they couldn’t commit? 

Bryce threw the hesitation out the window. They were in one of the most beautiful places in the world, and what a story she’d be able to tell the kids when they got older and forgot that they were even there. And how wonderful would it be if they could remember?! The twins were definitely not going to remember, and Jack was likely to forget, but Issy was at the age that she might remember. It might be a core memory from when she was a child. And how beautiful a sight! So Bryce nodded, over and over. She cupped her hands over her mouth and tears welled in her blue eyes. Happy tears, of course. “Okay. Okay!” She shrieked with excitement. She threw her hands up and then around his neck and she pulled him in for a kiss. “Should... should we tell someone? Like... Nora or Gage or someone who can help us set all of this up?”

Bryce’s mind was moving a mile a minute. She needed to ask Alice to go dress shopping with her, to agree to be her maid of honor. She knew she needed Kylie to join her too. They had promised each other nearly ten years prior that they would be at each others’ sides when it was time for either one of them to get married. She needed to find outfits for Issy and Shiloh and Ila... and lordy, the girls all needed hair cuts, but that would probably have to wait. And she needed to ask Eli to walk her down the aisle, to give her away... and if he wouldn’t do that... what would happen? What if Eli didn’t approve? Bryce knew Eli’s thoughts about Ryder, and it bothered her a lot. Eli and Ryder were the two most important men in her life, and she didn’t want them to be at odds. Then Bryce stopped... 

She looked from her feet up to Ryder and said, “All of my friends are here, but yours aren’t. It’s not fair. Casey isn’t here. He should be here. He should be by your side. I know you guys aren’t close, not like you were at least, but he deserves to be here... I want him to be here for you. This isn’t just about me. This is about you too.” And she felt like she could cry. Not because her own wedding might not happen, but because if it were to happen, it wouldn’t be fair to Ryder since Casey wasn’t there. Though she knew they weren’t as close as they had been in high school, despite that being years and years prior, she knew that they would still do anything for each other.... They were brothers. And brothers were supposed to be there for the big moments in each others lives. “We have to get him here if we’re going to do this.”

[brycolb]

ryder0k​:

“Imagine how many kids we’d have if we lived here full-time,” Ryder teased, “You’d give the 19 Kids and Counting lady a run for her money.”

Bryce giggled, then spoke of marriage. She didn’t bring it up a lot, and Ryder liked that about her. Though he’d been sober for a good amount of time now - he felt like a wedding ring and marriage license really solidified he, Bryce and the kids as a family. He felt like a family already, obviously, because they were one, but if he were to go off the deep end again - he couldn’t run away. He wasn’t saying he would. These were hypotheticals. But running away and relapsing - it felt like it was easier without the title of husband. If he messed up again, he’d have less pressure. Granted, he wouldn’t have any less little souls relying on him, with or without being called husband - he was still dad. But being married sounded official and it scared Ryder. It scared the living Hell out of him. Bryce knew that, and she was cautious. She was almost too quiet about the topic of marriage most days which is why Ryder knew that she must’ve really been thinking about it lately if she finally brought it up. Which is why Ryder took one long look at the ocean he grew up staring at - crying as a young boy and wishing for a family, for a way off of the island, for a new start, for true love, for a life that was anything but like his own parents - and finally spoke up.

“Why don’t we get married now? I mean, while we’re here?” Ryder asked, a wave of excitement rushing over him as he finally turned to face Bryce, “The kids aren’t getting any younger. Practically the entire family is here. Everyone owns at least one thing that’s dressy. We can do it on the beach. I can have my cousins - Bizzy and Pali help set up catering and decorations.” His cheeks hurt from smiling, and he was sure he was just giddy, because he’d taken his meds that morning for his mania, “It’s like you said, baby…we’re not wedding type of people, right? So…no expectations. We’ll just go for it. Stand at an alter, say Nau ko`u aloha and be husband and wife. Throw a party for us, for our love and our family. Just do the damn thing.” 

Bryce turned to look at Ryder. She couldn’t tell if he was kidding or not. Most of the time, when he was but was trying to be serious, he would hold steady eye contact or move his eyes too much. But this time, it was neither. It was serious. He was serious. And Bryce was confused. She didn’t mean she wanted to get married right here, right now. She didn’t even really know if she wanted a wedding. She couldn’t plan a wedding in the matter of days.... but... what if she could? How cool would it be to go on vacation as a Colbert and return as an Okalani? She always daydreamed about changing her name. Bryce Okalani was what she called herself in her head. She had already beared four of this man’s children, and she didn’t plan on letting him out of her grips now. She wasn’t about to coparent four kids with Ryder. They were endgame. They were forever. She didn’t mind not being his wife, but... the thought of it made her giddy. 

“Ry,” Bryce said slowly and sweetly. Tears were welling in her eyes, and she thought of her sixteen year old self, pregnant with Isabella and scared. She thought of her seventeen year old self, going through postpartum depression and not being around her daughters first months of life. She thought of her eighteen year old self, missing Ryder and wanting to be with him, but not having the chance. She thought of all of their fights. All of their make-ups. All of their children. A girl. A boy. Then twins. Each so unique but all identical to Ryder himself. “I love you.” She stood on her tippy toes and kissed him on his lip, her hands on both sides of his face. Her stomach swirled and tears fell from her eyes to her cheeks, happy tears of course. “We don’t have rings...” Bryce said, wiping a tear off. “I mean... yes, of course. Of course, I’ll marry you. Let’s do the damn thing, but... we don’t have rings. And I don’t have a dress.” And part of Bryce really wanted the dress and the ring and the down-on-one-knee... but in a very Bryce and Ryder fashion, this seemed so much more fitting. Last minute. Spontaneous. Absolutely perfect. “I just love you so much.”

[brycolb]

brycolb: okay fine, one last picture of sweet shiloh celebrating her birthday 

[brycolb]

brycolb: other unseen photos - we’re obviously having a great summer!! last days of kindergarten, pizza in town, tree climbing, snow cones, and so many park trips!

[brycolb]

brycolb: Our sweet girls turned one a couple months ago, and we completely forgot to post about it, so ignore the spam!

[brycolb]

ryder0k​:

Whenever Ryder stepped off the plane and into the airport on Hawaii, he felt a strange feeling. He was home, but he wasn’t. It was peaceful, but it also reminded him so much of the traumas that had shaped him. As a young teenager, pre-Brooksville, he worked at one of the most popular hotels on the island as a busser and he’d spend every weekend in a hotel room (or pool, or hot tub, or even bushes) with some young, hot tourist girl fooling around. Now, he had Ila in one of his arms, three different bags in the other, and a backpack on his shoulders. Times were different, and Ryder could admit that they were so much better that he ever imagined they’d be. As they got to their rental house, Ryder smiled. Nora and The Fosters producers really knew how to make them feel good. He made a mental note to buy Gage a drink later. Ryder wanted to go surfing almost immediately, but held off as he watched Issy scurry out by herself to explore. He wanted her to be free and brave and figured he’d wait until after they were settled to put on their wet suits. As he exhaled, Ryder felt arms around his waist, and instantly planted a kiss on the top of Bryce’s head. “I love you too, babe,” He answered, the words still feeling so fresh in his mouth even after all of these years, “I’m down. Let’s do it, but maybe not it-it unless you wanna get knocked up again,” He kidded, playfully grabbing her butt, “You know this ocean air makes you extra fertile ‘er something.” 

The first night in Hawaii, the Okalani family all went out to eat at a local taco shop. It was a tradition at this point, and it spawned from the first trip they took after they got back together. Bryce and Ryder were both so hangry that they nearly ended their relationship. After they had a few tacos (and a few margs), they felt a lot better and were able to laugh about it. Now, having four kids and Bryce’s new found ability to predict hunger on anyone in her family making her better equipped with snacks, they just ate at the taco place for the hell of it. However, that night, Atti was treating the whole family to dinner with performers and hell, probably even fireworks. It wasn’t what the Okalani family was used to, but it was still going to be fun. Bryce considered herself an Okalani despite the lack of a marriage certificate or even a ring. Bryce kissed Ryder after he told her he loved her, something they had worked hard on in their relationship. “No, I think it makes you extra potent,” Bryce teased. “God, I love it here. Everything makes sense here.” Her phone dinged - a text from Maisie letting her know Issy had found Frankie and they were playing together. “It’s weird having everyone here though. It doesn’t seem natural, but I think it could be kinda cool. Kinda like how it would be if we ever decided to throw a wedding.” She held onto Ryder’s arms, him still standing behind her, close. “I think I would like to marry you someday, you know. We always talk about being good where we are, and we don’t know if we’re the wedding type of people, but... we could get married without the wedding part. I think I’d be okay with that.”

[brycolb]

this is our place

Every year, the Okalani family took a trip to Hawaii, and when the camera crew reached out to film it this year... they just had to take it a step further and send the whole Fosters Family to Hawaii. Bryce, at first, was upset by the news. Hawaii was THEIR places. hers and Ryder’s, but when she thought about it more, she was excited to share the magic with the family. Especially because there were an entire row of beach front properties rented out. Bryce unpacked her clothes and then unpacked the kids’ stuff, setting up two pack-n-plays in the kids’ room. This was the first year Issy would be sleeping in a room by herself, but Jack and the twins were still going to share. The twins were playing in the living room with the triplets and Jack, and Issy ran out to the beach by herself. Bryce walked out onto the porch with Ryder, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Hey, I love you,” she said, giving him a squeeze. “After the kids go to bed, let’s sneak out to the beach like we used to do when Issy was little.”

[brycolb]

kindergarten graduation

Bryce and Ryder still lived in a two-bedroom apartment in Greenville, Washington. Four kids, and running out of room quickly, the pair had been discussing where to move, when to move, and how soon they could move. The twins were already a year old, and they couldn’t share a room with Bryce and Ryder for much longer. And with Isabella graduating from kindergarten, she needed her own space too. Jack wasn’t even four yet. 

“I know a four bedroom is going to be expensive, but we need the space,” Bryce said, curling iron at her head. “We have more stuff than anyone else I know, and our kids are only getting bigger and taking up more space.”

“Babe, I already said okay,” Ryder said, attempting to button up his shirt in front of the mirror. “Let’s get through our Hawaii trip and then we can really be on the market.”

Bryce looked at Ryder struggling to button his shirt and grinned. Sometimes, when she looked at him, she was taken back to being sixteen and infatuated. She was still very much in love with Ryder Okalani, but there was something about that summer of being sixteen and seeing Ryder every morning and every night that got her extra giddy. 

She set down her curling iron and stepped towards him saying, “Here, let me.”

All Bryce wanted to do was rip his shirt off and take him to bed, but instead, she put one of her hands on his bare side and the other on his face. She relevèd and planted a soft kiss right on his lips. 

“What was that for?” He asked. 

“For being damn sexy,” she cooed. Then, she started buttoning his shirt for him. “I’d take you straight to our bed if we didn’t have a kindergarten graduation to be at in thirty minutes.”

“Then after,” Ryder said, giving Bryce that signature Okalani look. The one that made Bryce’s cheeks go pink and a cold sweat run down her back. 

--

Bryce held Shiloh on her hip, and Ryder had Ila. Nora wasn’t too far behind holding Jack’s hand as they skipped through the parking lot together. Jack was absolutely enamored with his Nana, and any time she got with him, Nora took it. Issy was leading the pack, wearing a miss-matched outfit she had picked out herself. Her hair was getting so long and her freckles so dark. She was tall, too. Bryce couldn’t believe that she was already done with kindergarten. 

Once inside the school, there was a table with the school secretary sitting behind. A couple of the kindergarten teachers stood behind her, and Issy took off running, shouting her teacher’s name, “Ms. Woodard!” Ms. Woodard bent down and gave Issy the biggest hug, picking her up. Ryder beamed. 

“Hey Ms. Renèe!” Bryce said to the secretary, signing Issy in on a piece of paper attached to a clipboard. 

“Happy Kindergarten Graduation Day!” she responded. “I hope you brought tissues, it’s going to be a real tear jerker.”

“I think I’ve cried all the tears I have, but I’m sure I’ve still got a few in me,” Bryce said. 

“You should have seen her on the first day,” Ryder chuckled. 

Nora made it with Jack, finally, and the three adults and three little ones walked into the cafetorium together. Issy had already been whisked away with the rest of her class. 

Ila reached for Bryce, so she and Ryder traded babies, and then Jack couldn’t see sitting in his seat, so he sat in Nora’s lap but decided that wasn’t good enough, so he cralwed into Ryder’s lap, but Shiloh was sleepy, so he passed her over to Nora, and then Ila started crying for who knows what reason, and then Jack had to go potty, and this was all before the program started. 

But eventually, they got settled in their seats and the lights went up on the little stage with little risers and a big podium. Bryce grabbed Ryder’s hand. Their baby girl was graduating kindergarten. First, the Principal gave a short speech, then the music teacher, and then the children sang two songs. The first was You’ve Got a Friend in Me and the second was Rainbow Connection. Issy sang straight at Jack for all of the first one, and half way through Rainbow Connection, Bryce looked over to see Nora holding back tears and Ryder with the biggest smile on his face. 

After they sang, each teacher called the names of the kids in their class and gave them a certificate. Ms. Woodard spoke into the microphone, “Isabella Kamelei Okalani!” Nora moved and took pictures of Issy for Bryce and Ryder--both of the babies were asleep in their laps by that point. Jack even stood on the chair and waved, “Hi Sissy!” when her name was called. Everyone in the audience giggled. Bryce grabbed a tissue from a stranger and wiped her eyes, Ryder kissed her temple. 

After their names were called, the children were then given awards. Each kid in each class got a different award. Some were funny. Some were sweet. Some were completely made-up. Some kids got two--teachers were required to give everyone an award but the school also had awards to give in each class, though not everyone was going to get one of those. Issy’s name was called and she walked up in here tiny cap and gown, and suddenly, she didn’t look so tall or so old. Bryce saw the five pound baby that was born in September of 2014. Bryce leaned against Ryder for a moment, awestruck that her baby girl was already six and a half. 

Ms. Woodard spoke into a microphone, “Isabella Okalani, how do you feel to be done with Kindergarten?”

“Really good,” Issy said and then had to repeat herself because she had responded before the microphone even left her teacher’s mouth. 

“In our class, we call you Issy, right?” Ms. Woodard asked, and Issy nodded. “Issy, I’ve decided to give you the Friendship Award because you are such a great friend to everyone in our class and everyone outside of our class. You are kind and supportive. You are caring and strong, and you stick up for your friends when they need you to. You are a friend to everyone, and I think that makes you pretty special.”

Bryce was in tears. Ryder couldn’t hold himself together. They were both crying, and Nora was too, recording the whole thing. 

“Thank you,” Issy’s little voice squealed, no microphone needed. 

“But Issy, I’m also going to give you one more award.” 

Bryce gasped. She wasn’t expecting Issy to get two awards. Though why wouldn’t she? She was a great kid after all. 

“Issy, every teacher has to pick a couple of students to give some special awards to, so I’m going to give you the Above and Beyond award.” Ms. Woodard said. Issy covered her mouth with her hands--she was surprised too! “The Above and Beyond Award highlights the student that goes the extra mile in class and out. Choosing who to give this award to was a difficult decision, but I finally chose Issy. Issy has been described as ‘a friend to all’ and ‘the best little helper’ by many teachers in our school. Issy invites other students to play with her, lets everyone have a turn with toys or recess equipment that are in high demand, and cleans up messes that aren’t hers to clean. Issy performed in our talent show, and she joined the Girl Scouts as a Daisy. She’s read every Level K book in our class library, and she has told imaginative stories that she makes up on the spot. As I’ve said, Issy is a friend to everyone, and on the first day of school, she made sure no one felt left out or forgotten about. I will surely miss Isabella in my class, but I know she’s ready for the first grade. So, Issy, I’ve chosen you to be the Above and Beyond Award recipient.”

Bryce was a mess. She tried to cry as quietly as she could and as softly as she could, as to not wake Ila, who sat in her lap, her head on Bryce’s chest. Ryder was in pieces, hiding his face in his hand. Bryce leaned over and pulled his face near to hers. While everyone clapped and Nora took pictures, Ryder whispered, “Your dream is that your kid is a good person. You fear they won’t be, but she is. She’s a really good kid.”

“We raised a good one,” Bryce said, kissing his cheek. They waved at Issy and she waved back. 

Two more classes had awards handed out, they all turned their tassels and sang Make New Friends. Issy hugged her friends and then ran up to Bryce and Ryder. Ryder scooped her up, Nora now holding Shiloh and Ila beginning to wake up. 

“I am so proud of you,” Bryce cooed and kissed Issy. 

“Thanks,” she wiggled her head, handing all three papers to Bryce. “Can we go get ice cream now?” And the family laughed. Of course they were getting ice cream. How could they not celebrate their girl?

Later that night, while they were in bed, Bryce was thinking about Jack and his future kindergarten graduation. Ryder must’ve been thinking about it too because out of no where he said, “Jack’s not getting any special award is he?”

“Hell no,” Bryce said. “I love the boy, but he may have to repeat the grade.”

Ryder chuckled, “Poor kid.”

And Bryce giggled too. 

A perfect day with her perfect family. She never imagined life could be so beautiful, and she was really glad she stuck around for it.