currently very emotional about Maximus and Cicero. technically Cicero is Maximus' servant but he's like a brother to him. they share advice and secrets when traveling for battle. Cicero probably had lived with Maximus and his wife and son for many years. probably even knew Maximus' parents.
and for Cicero to be present while Maximus is captured? to be the only one who knows what really happened? to hear Quintus tell Maximus that his family is dead too? Cicero is 100% ready to come flying out of the curtains swinging that sword with a Highlands yell, but he holds back because Maximus shakes his head no. and Cicero probably believes Maximus is dead along with his family, and that there was nothing he could do
and you just know that Cicero mourned Maximus. the best man he ever knew, his closest friend and brother and leader. every day he spent serving a new general was gut wrenching because it wasn't Maximus, Maximus was dead, Cicero saw them drag him into the woods of no return, and maybe he's better off because if Cicero knows one thing about Maximus, it's that he wouldn't want to live if his family is dead
and somewhere in this mourning process, sometime when Maximus' belongings are probably being burned or stolen, Cicero takes what he knows meant more to Maximus than any riches or honors — the ring of his ancestors, and the figurines of his family, the ones he kissed and prayed for every night. Cicero knows he won't see Maximus again, but he keeps those items safe because Maximus loved them
and then? when Cicero starts hearing rumors of a man in the arena who fights like a lion and seems to have no weaknesses, the first man he thinks of is Maximus. and it doesn't occur to him that the Spaniard could be Maximus because Maximus is dead.
and then Rome starts buzzing with the news of who the Spaniard really is — General Maximus Decimus Meridius of the Felix Legions, who seeks vengeance for his emperor and family. and Cicero can't get to the arena fast enough. and seeing Maximus fight is like seeing a god raised back from the dead
meanwhile Maximus has believed that everything he loves is dead and gone. somewhere in the grief for his family and Marcus, somewhere in the humiliation and torment of being a slave, Maximus has remembered his men, he's remembered Cicero, and wondered if they all died too, or if they're still out there somewhere, if they even would care if they knew he was still alive
I can't get over the transformation that happens in Maximus when he meets Cicero. it's the first glimpse he's had of who he used to be. Cicero is the only old friend who's been able to find him, the only one who hasn't given up hope, who's tracked him down and fought the odds to encourage him. the way Maximus grabs Cicero's arm and looks at him like he's a gateway to his past is so precious to me, so sincere and heartfelt and emotionally charged. and then Cicero gives him the figurines and ring, and suddenly Maximus has a reason to live again
I maintain that it isn't just Lucilla's influence that gets Maximus believing in hope and trust again. it's not just his affection for Lucius or his desire to fulfill Marcus' wishes. it's the knowledge that Cicero and his men are waiting, that they miss him and want him as their leader again. that's what sparks the final change in Maximus and makes him decide to lead the army again
which is what makes Cicero's end so tragic to me. Cicero was captured and set up as a trap for Maximus. do you know how that must have hurt him? how he must have sat there for hours praying Maximus wouldn't try to escape, that he would somehow stay safe? that Cicero wouldn't have to play a part in the betrayal and murder of his closest friend?
Cicero knows he only has a few words to shout in warning before Maximus is too close to escape, and he does is absolute best. and of course they hang him for it immediately
but what does Maximus do? does he run and try to escape before the soldiers can surround him? no. he runs to Cicero, praying that he's not going to be too late to save the last person alive that he loves so much. but he is too late. and Cicero's last words to Maximus are "I'm sorry" before he dies for Maximus, just like everyone Maximus loves seems to have to die for him
but that's the thing!! everyone ends up dying for Maximus or being willing to! because he would do the same for them in a heartbeat! Quintus baited the trap for Maximus knowing that Maximus would come to save Cicero no matter what. the one thing you can count on with Maximus is that he is selfless and protective, and he will never leave the ones he loves behind
idk it just. breaks my heart thinking of all they've been through together. and how Cicero must have felt so much guilt over Maximus' arrest, and then Maximus felt so much guilt over Cicero's death in the last few hours of his life. yet another person he couldn't save.
but that they did find each other again. they did have a few precious days where they could encourage each other and believe that something good could come from their sacrifices. Maximus didn't die in vain and neither did Cicero. and the sands of the arena bear witness of Maximus' love for his family because Cicero had the courage to carry those little wooden figurines back to Maximus no matter the cost
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