unholyrodā:
rod swung his head wide, side to side.Ā ānah. thatās old life.ā swinging back to kian,Ā āif I go back on that, itās like. popping the seal. what about all the other stuff Iāll get hung up on?ā still, he grinned.
and that grin grew, watching kian go on about his fatherās dishes.Ā āsee, thereās something right there. those of us that had full families. orā as full as they could be, with good memories.ā hands on his knees,Ā āwhyād we leave?ā
but it wasnāt his turn.Ā āfears. I mean, once you take death off the list, itās kinda chill. not heights, not monsters.ā with a frown,Ā āmaybe itās, that we go through with all this, and one day, we look down. look in.ā his head bops to the side.Ā āand a flash hits, we donāt know who we are.ā his upper lip scrunched up under his nose, a bit.Ā ālast question to you, though. whyād you leave all that good cookinā behind?ā
rod has a point. going back to the old after so much of the new would be hard. thereās still that ache in kianās chest for his family, his friends. but itās not as poignant anymore. thereās different aches now, newer ones.Ā
the question was one poised before, just seconds ago, but this time hammered home. why did he leave? the smile on his face falters for a moment but he paints it back on in an expert stroke. he shrugs his shoulders, carelessly, and looks over at rod before he rests his elbows on the table and his chin in his hands.Ā
āsomething always felt missing.ā he shrugs again, a lazy smile drifting over his lips. ālike i was meant for more. i thought it meant iād have my own art gallery one day but instead i got all this.ā he moves one hand, gestures around them. āitās more dangerous but itās exciting, itās new, unpredictable.ā he stands up, holding a hand out for rod to take. āi like that.āĀ
if rod takes his hand, he tugs him along, out into the winter night. āletās go for a walk while you answer this last one.ā he waits for a moment. āwould you let me paint you sometime? doesnāt have to be nudeānot unless youād like being naked for me to paint. but i think youād be a wonderful model.ā it isnāt necessarily a deep question, but he hasnāt painted in a while and he thinks maybe rod wouldnāt mind..Ā











