Namjoon. Namjoon. Namjoon. Namjoon. Namjo- “Tae? You okay?” As if his thoughts had called the elder, Namjoon was standing in front of Taehyung, waving his hand in his face to get him back to earth. “Ah sorry hyung, yeah I’m fine. Just thinking.” “About what?” “What make up design to use on you.” Namjoon’s dimples showed subtly as he realised he was the last member to be made up. “Used all your ideas on the others?” He laughed. He didn’t say it with any spite, but Taehyung was quick to apologise. “Sorry hyung! I didn’t mean to leave you to last on purpose, but I wanted to make something meaningful for you, I’ve been practicing some ideas, but they haven’t felt right.” “Like what?” Namjoon placed a hand on the long haired man, feeling him relax a little at the contact. “I wanted to do something with the universe, but...it didn’t feel right.” Taehyung’s sigh made Namjoon feel bad for his comment, he had meant it as a joke and hadn’t realised how much Taehyung had been struggling with his idea. “Then I thought about doing something with hearts, you know because of your words ‘I wish I could love myself’ but it didn’t feel like it held the power I wanted to give your words. I want to make it reflect you as a person, but without being obvious.” Taehyung looked almost tearful as he looked up at his leader, who smiled softly back down at him. “Well, weren’t you doing makeup based on music videos?” “Yeah, but I can’t really draw cigarettes all over your face, hyung.” Taehyung laughed, thinking of the lollipops in Namjoon’s parts when he was by the gas pumps. His train of thought diverted into another direction, thinking of Namjoon smoking a cigarette...smoking...smoke. “HYUNG YOU’RE A GENIUS!” Taehyung shouted as he jumped up, hugging the now very dumbfounded leader, before running off to his bedroom. 2 hours later and Namjoon was still confused; what had he said? As if Taehyung could read his thoughts, he came bursting into the room, his smile taking up his entire face upon seeing Namjoon. “I’m ready!” “Yeah?” Namjoon chuckled, putting down the book that he had (not really) been reading. “So what’s the brilliant idea?” “You’ll have to wait and see!” Taehyung grabbed the elder’s hands and practically dragged him to his bedroom, seeing shadows and paints across his dresser. He kept quiet as Taehyung busied himself, sitting down in the chair next to the dresser. He kept quiet as Taehyung smoothed his hair out of his face, before applying a light foundation. He kept quiet as he felt the soft brush making lines on his cheeks, Taehyung’s tongue sticking out to the side in concentration. He kept quiet as Taehyung cursed softly, and kept quiet when he apologised for doing so, using a wet wipe to remove his mistake. He kept quiet for the entire hour it took for Taehyung to be happy with the outcome, who’s hands were covered in blacks and greys, his face looking tired after concentrating for so long. He kept quiet as the photos were taken, having not seen what Taehyung had painted on his face, he allowed the younger to direct him in how to pose. He quietly asked, once he’d seen the smoke drawn on his face, what the meaning for it was. He listened quietly as Taehyung explained, “in the videos you’re shown with a lollipop, a symbol for cigarettes; a bad habit. In the same way, your need to learn to love yourself whilst constantly putting yourself down is another bad habit. But these bad habits pass by in the wind. At the worst points, they feel thick, like the smoke from a cigarette, they do slowly dissipate and you start to feel clearer, but there’s still that soft dusting of the smoke in the air. Sometimes it’s coming towards you; from the opinions of others, the stress of looking after us all, and I’ve shown that on your right cheek, the smoke coming up. Other times it comes from you; your negative thoughts of yourself, the inability to see your own bad habits, that’s on the other cheek, coming down and out. And yet, when you see others, you can only see the good in them; you don’t judge, you don’t make horrible comments. You tackle everything with love and compassion and fire. Which is why I’ve made the smoke fade around your eyes, because it’s where we see your soul, and the smoke can’t touch that.” Namjoon kept quiet as he watched Taehyung edit the photos. He kept quiet as he watched Taehyung place his best ones in a separate file. He kept quiet as he watched Taehyung print the photos. He kept quiet as he watched Taehyung pull a scrapbook from under his bed. But he couldn’t keep quiet when he saw Taehyung sticking the photos of him, the black smoke prominent on his cheeks, under the title “Namjoon-hyung: my biggest inspiration.” Ugly, loud, shoulder shaking sobs wracked through his body, and they continued as Taehyung held him to his chest. They continued as the other members practically flew into the room, all gathering to hug Namjoon to them. They continued as they all held him, telling him how much they loved him. They continued as he realised how much love he received and how he knows, now, that he deserves every single piece of it.
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