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May 25

GANGSTA | myg- 007

summary: rough sex, blood money, drugs, gang related activity, and murder; five things you never predicted to experience in your simple life. not until you opened your mouth and caught his attention.

warnings: smut, gunplay, drugs, drug addiction, dark!yoongi, drug lord!yoongi, strong language, gang violence, blood and gore, murder, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behavior, abuse, cheating, angst, fluff, dubcon, implied noncon (not from yoongi but within his gang with his knowledge), 18+, minors dni.

pairings: gang leader!yoongi × f.reader.

word count: 6k

chapter playlist: sdl - agust d, gosh she looks so pretty - nato kitch

– masterlist directory

The thought of staying in bed all day wasn't a wish; it was a desperate necessity, thanks to the pounding headache that seemed determined to split your skull. Calling off work was impossible though—you couldn't risk the lost wages, especially with Mr. Kim ready to dock your pay at any given chance. Curled under the covers, your fingers traced your lips, a gesture that immediately triggered the one memory your mind refused to erase; the kiss. Not just a kiss, but a full-blown makeout session with Yoongi.

Sure, every decision made last night was fueled by booze, but as the effects wore off, the regret was suspiciously absent. In fact, Jungkook’s two-day ghosting made your choices feel almost justified. You grabbed your phone, your eyes scanning immediately for his name, only to be met with zero notifications. A frustrated sigh escaped as you hurled the device back onto the wood of the nightstand.

His radio silence was genuinely baffling. While you admittedly hadn't taken his rejection well, two days of absolutely no contact was excessive. Was he waiting for you to reach out? He should know by now—thanks to your longtime history—that you don't offer apologies when you've done no wrong. Why should you grovel? He was the one who rejected you, not the other way around.

Agreeing with Mina was painful, yet undeniable. Three months trapped in dating limbo—no title, no intimacy—and the question loomed so heavily: What the hell was he waiting for? The feeling that he still saw you only as his best friend felt increasingly real. It fed the deeper fear that his feelings were born from pity, surfacing when you were at your lowest point, spiraling into drinking and partying as you awaited the inevitable expulsion from college due to your parents' death.

The sudden loss sent your world spinning, triggering a steep, uncontrolled decline in every aspect of your life; for months, it was solely the constant support of Jungkook and Mina that prevented you from sinking entirely beneath the waves of a deep depression. That fragile lifeline now feels strained, making you dread the possibility that maybe Jungkook’s sympathy has reached its limit. You didn’t blame him. You’d be tired of your desperation too.

Rolling onto your back, you fix your gaze on the ceiling, finding no escape as your increasingly chaotic thoughts become unbearable; your heart felt like a sinking stone, and all you could manage was another rattling sigh to release the crushing pressure.

The thought was frustrating, but persistent; maybe it was time to bite the bullet, call him, and finally put your wounded ego aside. Even though his rejection had cut deep, your outburst had been unnecessarily angry. Perhaps if you could just swallow your pride and apologize, he might be willing to finally offer a full explanation of his side of things.

You stretched out your arm to retrieve your phone from the nightstand again, but as you unlocked the device, a sudden, abrupt knock on your front door startled you into a frozen silence. Quickly, you pushed yourself up into a sitting position on your mattress, your attention fixed on the living room, waiting to see if there would be a follow-up knock. Not a minute later a second rap confirmed the visitor.

Your mind immediately leaped to the possibility that it was Jungkook. The sound was notably too tame and controlled—certainly not Mina’s usual frantic banging, and you were sure she would have already resorted to calling your phone, yelling at you to open up.

Your blanket was tossed aside as you eagerly sprang out of bed, your feet pounding toward the front door. You didn't waste time with the peephole, throwing the door open with a joyful smile, certain who you would see. "Jungkook–" You stopped dead. The boyish, bunny grin you expected was replaced by Yoongi’s face instead. "Y-Yoongi?"

A smirk crossed the raven's face as he saw you, then he simply moved around you, gliding into your apartment without a word of your approval. “So this is your humble abode, huh?” He took his time looking around, evaluating every corner of your small space. “Cute.” He commented. You closed the door, narrowing your eyes at him for the rude entrance. “What the hell are you doing here?” you demanded.

“I was in the neighborhood. Thought I might come visit.”

It was an obvious lie. What business did he have in your neighborhood anyway? Annoyed by his presence, you crossed your arms. "How did you even find my apartment?" you asked, though the certainty of how made the question feel pointless.

"Asking questions you already know the answer to, sweetheart?" He raised a mocking brow. "You answered the door pretty quickly. Were you expecting someone else?" He gestured toward the counter, where Jungkook's bouquet stood, its blossoms beginning to wilt and fade.

"Don’t worry about it." You moved swiftly around the counter, seized the flowers, and with a press of the foot pedal, discarded them into the trash can."Now, tell me what you're really doing here.” You slammed the empty vase onto the counter. “And spare me the 'I was in the neighborhood' excuse." you pressed, urging the raven to reveal his true purpose. The embarrassment from last night was a hot sting, his kiss still fresh in your mind. It was clear how dumb you had been to believe that simply keeping your promise to attend his kickback would be the last you saw of him.

Yoongi held his smirk, clearly entertained by your annoyed attitude. "Is this any way to talk to the guy who just had his tongue down your throat last night?" he taunted, his tongue grazing his bottom lip as his gaze dropped to your sleepwear; an oversized black t-shirt with Deftones' Around The Fur album cover on it. It was Jungkook's shirt.

"Yoongi," you warned, glaring disapprovingly at the raven.

He chuckled, throwing his hands up in surrender.

"Fine, fine." He finally got to the point. "The Daegu fair is in town, and we're going." He offered no room to decline.

"Um, are you crazy?" you asked. The raven gave you a look that instantly made you retract the question. You knew the answer. "Scratch that-l know you are," you amended. "I can't just go to the fair with you. I have work, remember?”

The raven simply nodded. “Yeah, but you’re not going.”

You let out a short scoff. “I think my boss would disagree with you on that. I can’t miss a shift; I need the money if I wanna keep paying for my luxurious apartment,” you stated, dripping sarcasm into the word ‘luxurious’.

Yoongi replied with a dismissive shrug. “Don’t stress about that, princess. I’ll deal with your boss after the fact,” he assured you.

You subconsciously pull your bottom lip between your teeth. While you were secretly delighted to skip work due to your headache, you weren't exactly keen on replacing it with hanging out with Yoongi. Both options sounded equally headache-inducing, but if you had to pick the lesser of two evils, it was definitely not having to work for 8 hours straight at Makoto right now. Even if Yoongi vexed you.

You did enjoy going to the Daegu fair in your teenage years with Jungkook and Mina. The attendance would at least give you a nostalgic feeling. “Fine,” you conceded. “But I need to change first.”

“By all means, sweetheart. I’ll just wait out here—unless you need help changing.” He grinned wider, plopping down on your couch, his arms spread across the headrest. “Only in your wildest dreams,” you retorted, grimacing as you rolled your eyes.

“Sweetheart, my wildest dreams involve a lot more than just helping you change.”

You don't even bother responding to the raven's perversion, simply spinning around to head for your bedroom. You slammed the sliding door shut before letting out an exasperated, shuddering sigh. Did you really just agree to go out with Yoongi again? Last night's fiasco was a disaster; you couldn't imagine what today would be like. It seemed like anything that involved Yoongi always turned to shit for you. Your lunch date with Mina, the attack during your delivery in Gongdan, that ridiculous "kickback”. Could a simple thing like the fair possibly go wrong too?

Deciding not to dwell on it, you moved to your wardrobe, pulling open the doors and pushing clothes aside to find something to wear. Should you once again tone down your look, as you did last night? It didn't seem like the tracksuit had deterred the raven's unwanted gaze or touches regardless, nor had it kept his brother or Taehyung away. You definitely didn't want to look like you were going for a jog at the fair.

You finally grabbed a yellow mini sundress. It was summer, and unlike last night, it would be significantly warmer in the afternoon. You slipped out of Jungkook's t-shirt and into the dress. At least it didn't show any cleavage, you acknowledged, certain that if it did, you wouldn't be able to avoid his wandering eyes.

You walk into your bathroom, switching on the light. You look in the mirror, examining yourself. You don't bother with makeup or any extra work—it's Yoongi, for god's sake. You don't want to give him any ideas by going the extra mile. The dress is enough. You head back into your bedroom, grabbing your phone off the nightstand and shoving it into your purse.

As you exited the bedroom, you stopped short. Yoongi was no longer on the couch; he was standing, holding the framed photograph that belonged next to the TV. Hearing the sliding door, he glanced back at you. "These your parents?" he asked, referring to the people in the picture. You strode over, yanking the frame from his grasp. "Yeah," you simply said, setting it back on the stand.

Talking about your parents was a sore spot for you, the thought of them too sad. "You look a lot like your mom," he observed abruptly, and the comment caught you off guard. You swallowed the sudden lump in your throat. "Uh... t-thanks..."

“You ready to go?” The raven gave you a once-over, his pleased look confirming he liked the dress. You simply nodded. “Let’s get this over with,” you said, heavy with dread. Stepping out of your apartment, you reached for your key to lock up. The sound of a neighboring door opening made you and Yoongi turn, bringing you face-to-face with Hoseok. Hoseok froze instantly when he saw the raven. “Yoongi…” he trailed off, his entire body stiffening.

“Hoseok.” he replies, his voice stale and bitter. The two don't speak, just stare each other down. Hoseok's gaze was fearful, while Yoongi's was cold, his dark eyes piercing the man. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. You felt the hatred radiating off both men. “Yoongi… we should go.” You gently tug on the sleeve of the raven’s black jacket, needing to escape this rivalry. Yoongi nods. “Alright.” He agrees immediately, giving in to you. “See ya ‘round, Hobi.”

You and the raven-haired man walk down the hall, leaving Hoseok where he stood. You spare a final glance, just in time to see the brunet exhale a long, shaking breath. Yoongi's presence alone made him quake. What deep history was between these two? Yoongi had said Hoseok was once like a brother, his right hand man before Joon, until Hoseok tried to get him sent to prison. But why did Hoseok turn on him, and what did Yoongi do to incite that level of fear? Yoongi had only hinted that he didn’t let the betrayal go unpunished.

Making it outside, your eyes were immediately drawn to a new car Yoongi was driving. A sleek, red sports car with the roof down. It was pure luxury, a world away from the car you used to drive—an old, hand-me-down Nissan sedan that had been your father’s until it permanently broke down, leaving you without the means to get it fixed.

“Something wrong with your old car?” you asked, looking back at him.

He offered a subtle shake of his head. “Nah, I just wanted to ride in style today.” A smirk played on his lips as he rounded the car and held the passenger door open for you. Once you were seated, the raven-haired man shut the door with a soft click. He then slid into the driver's seat, started the engine, and pulled away, heading for Buk-gu, the usual location of the fair. The ride was an estimated thirty-four minutes. That felt like a short car ride with someone you'd actually want to be with—but an agonizingly long trip you desperately wanted over while sitting beside Yoongi.

You let the silence hang heavy between you and the raven-haired man, simply allowing the wind to rush past your face. Yoongi stole a look at you—your arm propped against the door, your hand resting beneath your chin as you gazed at the passing surroundings. "Can I ask you something?" He finally breaks the silence. You simply waited for him to get on with it, locking eyes with him instead of replying.

"How come you're still a virgin?"

You immediately furrowed your brows. "Excuse me?"

"How come you've never fucked?" He repeated the question, making it sound even more vile. “You’re dating someone, right? So how come he’s never fucked you?”

With a disgusted scoff, you shot him a glare. Of all the conversation starters he could have chosen, why was your virginity the topic? "We are not having this conversation. It's none of your business." You snapped, once again looking away from him, your cheeks hot with embarrassment. The raven-haired man didn't stop, though. “You don’t wanna feel a hard dick going in and out of that wet, tight, little pussy—”

“I will tuck and roll out of this car right now if you don’t shut the fuck up!” You cut him short, your hand hovering over the door handle, ready to bolt.

He chuckled at your frantic reaction, but to your relief, he stopped talking. “God, you’re such a pig,” you murmured under your breath.

"I think deep down you like that about me though," he said, throwing you a look, his grin conceited.

"I think deep down you're delusional. If you want a girl obsessed with you and your perversions, maybe you should work things out with Sana." You sneered.

The raven quirked a brow. "There's nothing to 'work out' with Sana. We never had anything. I fucked her once and she thought we were gonna be together. I guess that's what good dick does." He smirked. “If you say so.” You rolled your eyes and reached for the radio, turning it on. You didn't bother searching for a station, just let the first thing that played drown out the rest of the silence.

“Somebody does love, but I’m thinking ‘bout you. Somebody does love.”

You were surprised to find you actually liked the song that was playing, and you began to sing the lyrics quietly yourself, staring back out into the passing scenery. Yoongi gazed over at you. “You like this song?” he asked, amusement flickering across his face.

“Maybe I do,” You shot him a look. “Got a problem with it?”

“Not at all, sweetheart.” He reached over and cranked up the volume on the radio, the base vibrating off of your seat.

“Somebody does love, but I'm thinking 'bout you, you oh, I'm thinking 'bout you.”

Not at all what you were expecting, the raven begins to rap the lyrics, word for word, completely catching you off guard. “Oh? You like this song?” You echoed his question, a small smile tugging at your lips to see him flow so effortlessly to a song about love. You were half expecting him to melt, considering he was the devil and all. What would he know about love? According to Sana he doesn’t do feelings, or relationships.

“Never said I didn’t,” he laughed. “I’m just intrigued that you like it too. Plus, I’ve been told before that I look like the rapper in this song.”

You stared at him briefly, before shaking your head. “I’m not seeing the resemblance.” you stated, bursting his bubble. Yoongi merely shrugged. “True. I look better.” He flashed his addicting gummy smile your way. You bit the inside of your cheek, turning away to hide your own grin.

It amazed you how utterly self-absorbed Yoongi could be, but you expected as much. There was no denying he was handsome; he had probably never been turned down by a woman in his life. Perhaps that’s exactly why he was so attracted to you.

You acknowledged his attractiveness, but you refused to give into his bad boy lifestyle and oozing charm like most girls did. Despite your intoxication clouding your judgment last night, you had no intention of giving him further satisfaction. But this was exactly the game Yoongi enjoyed. Who could resist a woman who played hard to get? He intended to shatter that resistance today.

The two of you continued to sing along to the song, with you handling the chorus and Yoongi delivering the rap verses. You enjoyed this version of Yoongi, it was far more tolerable than the pervert who insisted on probing your sex life. This shared moment made the rest of the car ride more bearable– just slightly though.

Yoongi found a parking spot quickly, a feat considering the lot was packed—it seemed the entire population of Daegu was here. Families, couples, and friends streamed toward the fair entrance. You and Yoongi opened your doors in sync and stepped out. You gazed ahead at the fairgrounds, a slight smile touching your lips. You hadn't been to the Daegu fair since high school, and the sight instantly triggered a wave of memories.

You and the raven-haired man approached the fair, heading for the entrance booth where wristbands were sold. The line stretched far back, and you predicted you’d be waiting for at least an hour. You immediately doubted you had the patience—or mental capacity—to stand in that queue for so long.

As if reading your mind, the raven didn't hesitate—he cut the line and darted directly to the booth. You heard the sound of disapproving voices ripple as you passed, followed by someone shouting, “Hey, what the fuck are you doing?” The voice was quickly shushed by their companion. “That’s the Daegu Devil. Don’t let him hear you.”

The crowd immediately fell silent, now letting you both pass by without a single complaint. You reached the front booth, where a couple quickly stepped back to let you in. You looked back at the young pair, offering a word of thanks—even though you knew they probably didn't want to hear it. You didn’t blame them; you wouldn’t want some lady who just cut the line with an infamous delinquent speaking to you either.

Yoongi pulled a wad of cash, bound together by a rubber band, from his pocket. Stunned, you watched him count it; the enormous stack easily surpassed any of your bi-weekly earnings. He ripped away the band, and peeled off the necessary amount needed for the wristbands before handing it to the booth employee. The transaction was swift; the employee instantly returned two wristbands, which the raven took.

You both stepped out of line, making way for the couple you had cut in front of. Yoongi handed you your wristband. “Have you ever been here before?” he asked, his eyes briefly meeting yours as he fastened his own wristband. You nodded. “When I was in high school. Feels like such a lifetime ago.”

Stepping into the fairgrounds with the raven, you were greeted by a wave of smells— from the sweet scent of Hotteok to the fried aroma of So-tteok-so-tteok. It really refreshed your memory, and with that memory came the thought of Jungkook; you wished you could be attending the fair with him and not Yoongi right now.

“Have you ever been here?” you asked him, trying to keep the conversation going as you both walked through the fairgrounds. The raven nodded. “I used to come here with Joon and Hoseok.” The bitterness in his voice when he said Hoseok's name was unmistakable.

“Wow, so you and Hoseok used to be really close back then…”

“Yeah. We grew up together,” His tongue poked the inside of his cheek, annoyance etched on his features. “I met Joon in juvie, and when he got out we just all became close.”

It wasn't surprising he met Joon in juvie. Nam-Joon’s abrasive nature suggested he'd likely been in and out of trouble his entire life. “We used to come to the fair to sell, never to play games. So, this is a first time for me not being here for business.” He admitted.

“I’m surprised Hoseok used to be a drug dealer. I wouldn’t have pegged him as that type at all.”

Hoseok was always just the goofy neighbor across the hall. He was sweet and funny. When you first moved in, he had been kind enough to help you move boxes since Jungkook was at work and Mina proved useless. “That’s because he wasn’t the type,” the raven ran his fingers through his hair. “Hoseok was always too nice, too scared. He was never meant for this life. He proved that well.”

Yoongi’s jaw clenched, then slowly unclenched. The raven was skilled at hiding human emotion, but you could tell that deep down, the fallout with Hoseok genuinely hurt him. They were childhood friends, and you knew firsthand how much it stung to lose a childhood best friend. Of course, your break with Jungkook in high school wasn't as severe, and you certainly weren't terrified of him or calling him the devil.

You needed to change the topic. Scanning the gaming booths for something to play, you pointed toward the one labeled ‘Hoop Shoot’. “Hey, let’s play that,” you suggested to the raven. Yoongi looked at the booth, raising a brow before meeting your gaze. "Basketball? Do you even know how to play, sweetheart?" he smirked.

"Maybe I do. Do you?" you countered, squinting.

Now both his eyebrows rose. "Are you kidding me? I'II destroy you at basketball, princess. I've never lost a game"

You shrugged, walking backward toward the booth while meeting the raven's eyes. “Then put your money where your mouth is.”

The raven smiled, following you over. The carnie at the booth grinned as you approached, launching into his spiel. “Welcome over, folks! Shoot all eight balls into the hoop and win a prize!” He swept his arm around, showing off all the cute stuffies. You had already spotted the one you wanted; a My Melody plush wearing a pink bear suit. “If you miss one, then you’re out immediately.” The carnie states.

"Go first," the raven said, stepping aside to let you take your turn. "I promise not to laugh if you suck," he remarked, crossing his arms. You playfully flipped him off, and he responded with a laugh.

The carnie set the balls on the counter. "Good luck!" he said. You grabbed your first ball, took a step back, and settled into a shooter's stance.

"Nice form," Yoongi complimented. "Oh, and your stance is good too," he added, biting his bottom lip.

You glared at him. “Don’t try to distract me just because you know you’re gonna lose.”

Yoongi instantly put his hands up, staying silent while you took your first shot.

You returned to your stance, shooting the ball toward the hoop. The ball circled the rim, and just as you thought it would drop, it fell to the ground. "Damn it!" You stomped, biting the inside of your cheek in frustration.

"Aw, good try." The carnie said.

Yoongi walked over. "Better luck next time, dollface." He gently patted your back before moving you to the side.

The carnie reset the balls for Yoongi. The raven grabbed his first ball, took a step back, and the carnie repeated, "Good luck!"

"I don't need luck," Yoongi countered.

'What a cocky little shit’, you thought.

He got into his stance, raising his arms and shooting the ball toward the basket. Unlike your attempt, Yoongi's made it in with a swish. "Ooooh!" He smiled, clapping his hands. "Seven to go," he said, glancing at you.

He grabbed his second ball, shot again, and scored. The raven looked over at you once again, wiggling his brows and holding up six fingers. You couldn't help the smile that tugged at your lips.

As Yoongi grabbed the third ball and continued to play, you couldn’t help but watch him—not his technique, but him. His happy, childish grin humanized him. You were seeing a side he seemed to hide to maintain his image, but right now he was truly himself, and it was crazy to admit, but you were attracted to it.

As your eyes examined the raven, it wasn’t just his playful spirit that was attracting you—when you truly looked at him, he was incredibly alluring. His shoulder-length dark hair was tucked behind one ear, showing off his double pierced hoops. He wore a black jacket over a white shirt, a heavy Cuban link chain around his neck, and dark jeans with a chain attached to the belt loops. But it was his scent that lured you in the most; a sharp, citrusy smell.

Yoongi shot his last ball, making the winning hoop.

The carnie rang a bell, yelling "Winner!" You snapped out of your trance, watching the raven dust off his shoulders as though the challenge was nothing. "Pick a prize, any prize," the carnie offered.

Yoongi scanned the shelf. "That pink one right there," he requested. The carnie retrieved the exact My Melody plush you'd wanted and handed it to Yoongi.

"Here," he said, holding it out. You looked up from the plush to meet his eyes. "I saw you looking at it, so I won it for you"

Smiling, you accepted the plush. "Thank you..."

Yoongi smirked. "No problem," he said, tucking his hands in his jacket pockets. "You suck at basketball, though," he playfully remarked, taking a step back. “Like, you’re really awful.”

"Screw you.” You rolled your eyes.

"Please do." His tongue ran over his bottom lip.

"Don't be gross," you said, gently pushing his chest.

He laughed. "C'mon, I got a sweet tooth for cotton candy," he added, showing his gummy smile. The raven turns on his heels, walking ahead to go find the cotton candy stand.

You stood back for a moment, looking down at the plush in your hands. Your stomach started to churn—not with nausea, but with that fluttery feeling you’d only ever experienced with Jungkook. Now, it was Yoongi; The bad, drug-dealing, gangster Yoongi—who was giving you butterflies.

You must’ve been out of your mind.

“You comin’ or what?” He asks, noticing you weren’t behind him. You look up, nodding quickly. “Sorry, coming!” You run after him.

"So, I'll admit, you're pretty good at basketball," you informed the raven, plucking off a piece of the blueberry cotton candy you shared. "Did you play in high school?" You asked, popping the piece into your mouth.

Yoongi nodded, picking a piece off for himself. "I did for a bit my freshman year, but I dropped out of school later on."

"You never thought of trying to pursue a career out of it?"

Yoongi scrunched his eyebrows. "What famous NBA players do you know that are five-eight, sweetheart?"

You couldn't answer that because, truth be told, you knew nothing about the NBA in the slightest. "'I’ll answer that question for you; none," he said, chewing the candy.

You shrugged. "You could be the first short basketball player to ever play in the NBA.” You stated.

Yoongi laughed, shaking his head. "I appreciate your faith in my basketball skills, princess. Sometimes me and Joon ball."

"Is he any good?"

"No," The raven laughed. "He's worse than you." He remarked, taking a large bite of the cotton candy. You squinted and grabbed his hand, using it to smash the sweet fluff straight into his face. The surprise made him drop the rest of the candy.You covered your mouth, stifling a laugh. Blue pieces of cotton stuck to his face as he picked them off. "You better start running."

You heeded his warning, pressing your plushy against your chest as you made a break for it. You zipped past people, running to who knew where. It didn't take long for the raven to be on your tail; you could hear the clanking of the chain on his pants. "Excuse me, sorry!" you laughed as you brushed by, ignoring the glares from families you past by.

You didn't make it too far before Yoongi's arms wrapped around you, stopping your run. You screeched in surprise, failing to twist out of his grasp. "You think you're funny, huh?" he said, his hands gripping your waist as he flipped you around to face him. You were both a laughing mess. "You have a little something right here," you teased, and then subconsciously raised your hand to pick off the sticky blue candy.

As you did this, you realized how close and personal you and Yoongi were. His hands were still on your waist, one of yours held the plush, and the other now rested on his chest. You were lost in his eyes-his usually dark, cold eyes now didn't seem so dark.

Yoongi inched closer, his lips almost touching yours before you quickly turned your head, faking a cough. You stepped back from his hold, searching desperately for an escape from the awkward moment.

You turned to the Ferris wheel, pointing toward it. “Hope you’re not afraid of heights,” you said, forcing an uncomfortable laugh. You quickly scrambled toward the ride, your back to him, mentally cursing yourself. What were you thinking? You were about to kiss him again? There was no doubt; you had completely lost your mind.

You approached the carnie, and she smiled. "One or two?" She asked. You wanted to say one just to avoid the raven, but you said two, unwilling to make the avoidance obvious. The carnie let you both pass to pick a seat. You chose a yellow cart, strapping yourself in; Yoongi did the same. The carnie closed the bar, secured it, and after a few others boarded, the ride finally started, lifting you into the air.

Yoongi didn't say anything the whole time, which was surprising, considering how much he usually talks.

You looked over to see him staring off into space, his lips caught between his teeth. His gears were turning like crazy, and you knew because yours were, too. Any other time, you would have loved a silent Yoongi, but right now, you wished he would talk to ease the tension.

"Can I ask you something?" You finally broke the silence.

Yoongi looked over at you. "No, I'm not still a virgin," he said bluntly.

You rolled your eyes. "Seriously. Can I ask you a question?" You repeated. He nodded, awaiting your question.

"Is this how you pictured your life?"

The raven tilted his head, confusion etched on his face. You elaborated; "What you do for a living, what people say you've done. Did you ever picture this for yourself?"

The question was deep for Yoongi, one no woman had ever asked him before. "Of course it's not," he answered. "No kid grows up and says, 'I wanna be a criminal when I grow up’. It's just the cards I was dealt. My parents died when I was young, I went into survival mode. I had to fend for myself at eleven."

"You didn't have any support from friends or other family?"

Yoongi scoffed. "I don't have other family members. All I have is Jongup, and I think you've seen for yourself that our relationship is strained," he said. "As for friends, I mean, I had Hobi and Joon in my corner. But friends can only do so much. It didn't change that I still felt alone and in survival mode,"

That was a sentiment you understood well. When your parents died, of course you had Mina and Jungkook, but their support never erased the pain of your loss. Even now, the subject was touchy. Your parents had essentially financed your entire life, and their passing left you entirely on your own. While you inherited a small sum, it wasn't nearly enough for college tuition. You used the money instead to secure your apartment, then scrambled for work, eventually landing at Makoto, where you now make minimum wage and can’t even afford a car.

"When I started this shit, I never imagined how far along it would get," he confessed. "I was just a kid wanting a fast way to make money, but when I touched my first stack, I needed more. I wanna be one of the greats, like Pablo Escobar. Imagine it—the first Korean drug lord." He smirked.

It amazed you how passionate he was about being a drug dealer; to you, it sounded like pure greed and a dangerous game to play. Pablo Escobar was literally gunned down by police. Did Yoongi really want that fate?

"How about you?" he continued. "Is this how you pictured yours?"

You shook your head. “Not at all. I pictured myself in healthcare like my mom. I went to college for it—a short-lived experience because my parents died and they were paying my tuition. After their deaths, I was kicked out for failure to pay. I kind of went down a black hole after that,” you sighed. “I’m watching everyone close to me excel–real careers, nice apartments, cars…then there’s me; working in a ramen shop, living in an iffy apartment, and taking the bus everywhere.”

You were surprised at yourself for spilling your guts out to Yoongi; you barely expressed these feelings to Jungkook or Mina. Perhaps it was because you always knew they couldn't relate; Jungkook had his tattooing career, and Mina was a nurse. Yoongi, however, understood your struggle because he'd lived it. The only difference was that he channeled that experience into something—albeit destructive—that at least allowed him to afford his luxuries.

"You deserve better, " Yoongi said, and your eyes met his. "Someone with a soul as beautiful as yours should have everything this world has to offer."

There it is again; the flutters. Your cheeks began to heat up, and you quickly looked away from the raven. You heard him let out a small laugh at your visible fluster.

‘I didn’t think it was possible,’ You thought. ‘For my heart to beat this fast for a man other than my first love...’

Yoongi's car pulled up to your apartment. "I had a good time.” The raven said, looking over at you. You nodded, a genuine smile spreading across your face. "I did too–surprisingly." You admitted.

You meant it. At the start, you hadn't wanted to be anywhere near him, but by the end, you had learned a lot more about Yoongi and seen a gentler side. "See, I'm not as bad as the conspiracy theorists make me out to be." He smirked.

You laughed. "I guess not. I'll see you around." You reached for the door handle, but he stopped you. "How about tomorrow night?" he asked. You raised a brow. "Eager, are we?"

"Guess I just can't get enough of seeing your face," he replied.

You looked down at your Melody plush, hiding your fluster once again. "Um, what do you have in mind?" you asked quickly, trying to move the conversation along.

"I'm having another kickback."

You shot your head up, ready to protest, given how the last one ended, but the raven was already ahead of you. "It's not gonna be like last time. This time it's genuinely just gonna be me, Joon, a few of my guys, and whatever girl Joon's fucking for the day. It'll be tame."

You sighed, thinking it over for a moment. "Fine. I'II be there."

The raven grinned, nodding his head. "That's what I like to hear. I'll pick you up tomorrow."

"After I'm off work. I'm not going anywhere smelling like ramen."

"Why? It's a good smell on you," he joked.

You glared at him. "Screw you."

"Please do," he replied with a drawn-out moan.

You rolled your eyes, pulled open the door, and stepped out of the car. "See you tomorrow, perv," you retorted, shutting the door with a soft click. You walk up the stairs to your apartment building, digging in your purse for your key as you enter. As you approach near your door, you see a shaggy-haired man placing flowers in front of your doorstep.

“Jungkook?”

He spun around to face you, a smile forming his lips as his eyes fell on you. “You always seem to catch me at the wrong time.” The brunet says.

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