Bubblegum Bassarisk

I wish a bee could hug me softly

[bubblegum-bassarisk]

Hi

This is strictly my thoughts and feelings

Nothing more, nothing less

[bubblegum-bassarisk]

Every night I look back into the ruins of my day

Every night I feel sadder and emptier

[bubblegum-bassarisk]

I've missed you lately and noticed that not a day goes by without thinking about you

I don't think we tried hard enough and I wonder if I cross your mind as often

[bubblegum-bassarisk]

I thought that by now I'd be either married or dead

I don't really know what to do with myself now

[bubblegum-bassarisk]

I worry about love.

I worry that I don't give enough and that I won't ever receive anything back.

I worry that I yearn for something I desperately want and I worry that I don't deserve it at all.

[bubblegum-bassarisk]

What am I even here for?

I'm tired and sad and lonely, caring for others but no one to care for me

[bubblegum-bassarisk]

I keep feeling this life of mine is like a present from someone who didn't know me. I don't like it but I keep it because I can't be ungrateful or rude

[bubblegum-bassarisk]

Wondering if it's worth the effort is so heartbreaking, I don't want to wonder anymore

[bubblegum-bassarisk]

There was never time for me, you had to use it for everyone else.

It stings to know and to know that you never wondered if I needed it

[bubblegum-bassarisk]

Would it kill you to treat me like a person?

[bubblegum-bassarisk]

Starting to know my worth is nice, I like the new experiences even when I'm terrified.

Starting to know my worth is lonely and hurtful because I don't want to endure the same pain anymore.

[bubblegum-bassarisk]

I'm getting tired of trying to show you my love.

The coldness, the dismissal, the silence seeps into my bones.

[bubblegum-bassarisk]

My efforts of showing you my love, of keeping us together are thrown aside.

With it a new tear to my heart next to the ones I've been nursing

[bubblegum-bassarisk]

I'm upset, I'm at peace. I wish things had been different, I never want it all back.

My head feels heavy but it's the lightest my heart has ever been.

[bubblegum-bassarisk]

I'm scared to unravel the layers of me.

I'm afraid that when I check, the pieces I find aren't truly myself. I'm afraid that they're made out of fear and pain and necessity just to look whole because whatever was supposed to be there is long gone.

[bubblegum-bassarisk]

I hope you think of me and my warmth and my comfort.

I hope my absence freezes you from the inside.

[bubblegum-bassarisk]

Might just take your silence as enough of an answer