bubblegum diaries

a very anxious person. chicken nugget lover. trying to write a murder mystery set in the late 1800s. still trying to keep my life together and aesthetically pleasing but that's not going so well. And this is basically all my thoughts so enjoy

[bubblegumdiaries]

if a girl came up to me in a low cut little black dress and black fingernails and pretty long hair and pointed a gun at me i will willingly let her shoot me

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stop telling me that black and white themes are depressing dammit i’m fine 

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curly hair in ponytails.

that’s it.

[netscapenavigator-official]

I’m sorry, but you cannot tell me the same staff that just did a Q&A with a literal astronaut for this site are the same ones who are linking us to the Dr. Phil M&M x Guy Fieri OTP blog.

[staff]

Okay. Out of respect for your request that we not tell you we did this, we won't tell you that we did this.

[bubblegumdiaries]

crying in the corn lol

[jughead-jones-wuz-here]

see, before it was all about the darkness hiding in the shadows

now that we’ve brought those to light-

with Clifford Blossom, the Black Hood, The Gargoyle King, the Sisters of Quiet Mercy, the Farm, and my own sister Jellybean and half brother Charles

the shadows didn’t go away

they were just brought to light

[bubblegumdiaries]

what’s painful so when you thought you were over being sad about it

and then maybe it’s something on your feed or even a careless word in a conversation

and the sadness rushes in again

even though it happened many, many, months ago

[bubblegumdiaries]

if only you knew how much of your life is in mine.

casually left on the chair in the corner, forgotten on the floor downstairs, hiding away in its own little folders on my laptop. my camera roll, a notebook, my recent text messages. pictures on my wall, thank you notes and birthday cards in their own place.

that occasional dream,

that thought at three in the morning when I wake up unexpectedly.

your life has left an imprint on mine

and so I wonder

do I have that same effect on you?

[bubblegumdiaries]

My rhetoric teacher was showing us what an exemplification essay was and:

“I could write how Walmart is compared to Dante’s inferno, the aisles like the different circles of hell”

Thanks Mrs. D

[bubblegumdiaries]

The best answer I’ve heard to “do you live under a rock?”

Was “yup, that’s where I live. 8686 Underarock Street”

Little cousins. Long may they rule.

[bubblegumdiaries]

Jesus I miss him but I don’t think he knows how much

[bubblegumdiaries]

stupid things that my family has said that might make my boyfriend think twice about staying:

“We’re not communist yet”

“Rock a bye baby, with a gunshot”

“You know the best accomplishment in life is to have a knife in your stomach”

“You should become a cereal killer. With a bowl in one hand and a spoon in the other, you can conquer the world”

Thanksgiving dinner (my six year old cousin very loudly): “I’m allergic to bs” *silence while entire family chokes on their dinner* “my mom taught me that!!”

“Who’s outside?” “A trashcan”

“Uhhh let’s just say the guy drank vodka” “which guy?” “The horse”

“I like cowboys who don’t drink vodka”

“I was thinking about spiking the bird feeder with weed to see the squirrels get high”

“Evil people don’t die fast... or fast enough”

“I’m stuffed because... stuffing”

“The rockin’ rabbi”

“WHAT IS THAT THAT IS OBVIOUSLY NOT THE RABBI FROM BROOKLYN”

“He’s a egg”

“Velcome to my house. You vant some vodka”

“I don’t try no coconut milk”

Mom: Row row row your boat gently down the stream. Push your mother out the canoe. My brother: Go and kill a meme

“2020... if it bounce it counts”

“Caterpillars live in our neighborhood what”

“Wait I... lost a Brussel sprout?”

“My friends call me smoky joe”

“Hey I saw you at court this morning”

[xiaq]

Me to my student: You need to pare things down. Just, like, Marie Kondo this whole paragraph. Student, softly to herself: Does this clause spark joy??

[bubblegumdiaries]

this one does not spark joy

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sometimes I’m really ugly and sometimes I’m pretty idk it depends on the makeup, the hair, the angle, where the stars are aligned, and if the rooster in Kentucky crowed at exactly 6:05 this morning

[bubblegumdiaries]

fuck alarm clocks

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yknow what it’s hard being able to see someone you love and not cuddle them to death

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secret wish is to take my girlfriend and run through an abandoned castle with really fancy gowns and roses in our hair