Hey mother nature i love you and shit but likeâŚ.what the fuck my good bitch
Goodness!
Okay. Iâm Canadian so I know a shit ton about staying warm if youâre new to the cold there here are some tips!(add more if you know more!)
1. Wear grippy shoes, nothing is worse than snowmelt freezing on your skin.
2.Do not wear jeans as your outter layer. wet denim is the most body heat siphoning mother fucker known to man or god
3. Have a warm drink with you. It will help. Even just some hot soup broth or boiled water will help keep you warm.
4. Wear a moisture wicking layer close to your skin so you donât get cold from your own sweat. You will sweat. That is fine and expected.
5. If you start feeling too warm even though you were cold and like you have to take your clothes of DO NOT. Call 911. You are suffering from hypothermia.
6. Bring a blanket and a heat source that needs no electricity with you in your vehicle. You do not want to be stranded with no heat in the case that something happens.
7. If you are struggling on ice as youâre walking, stop. Get your balance and penguin shuffle to a less slippery patch of ground. Thereâs usually less ice on one side of the walk and itâs better to walk in the snow next to the sidewalk than it is to eat dirt when ya slip
8. STAY THE ABSOLUTE FUCK AWAY FROM FROZEN BODIES OF WATER. Ponds are deceptive as shit even with the âsolid blue tried and trueâ thing. Go around.
9. Keep kids warm. They run at a higher body temperature and will feel the effects of the cold worse than you.
10. Huddling is your best friend. Even if you donât know the person, remember youâre both cold, especially if they donât have the right clothing for the weather.
11. Pay attention to windchill. That is how cold it feels. Dress appropriately please. I know itâs tempting to dress for style, but thereâs nothing stylish about losing your toes to frostbite
12. Donât touch metal if you can avoid it. It will sap your heat and likely freeze to anything wet. Like tongues. Donât fucking lick a pole.
13. If someone licks something metal, pour warm water over their tongue to get them free. If they yank, they will bleed. A lot.
14. Keep your ears, noes, fingers, and toes warm. Youâre extremities will get cold first and are the most likely parts of your body to get frostbite.
15. If you see someone who may not have a place to be in the cold, offer to help them find a local shelter or library. The elements, especially the cold, are some of the largest threats to those who cannot avoid them.
16. If you find yourself stuck outside for a long time, sleep during the day when it is warmest, and avoid sleeping on the ground. Stay awake as much as you can at night so you have a better chance of staying warm.
Also, look out for your local animals.  Cats will sleep on car wheels where you canât see them - itâs elevated, rubber is warmer than the ground, and itâs a little hideyhole where they feel safe. Check your wheel wells and under your car before you go driving off, you might save a tiny life.
You can also, if youâre so inclined, make a little winter shelter for cats and small animals fairly easily and cheaply.
[Here] is a great (if lengthy) text guide to building shelters for local cats. [Here] is a video from the Ontario SPCA. [Here] is an even simpler (ad possibly cheaper) version of basically the same thing. As long as you smooth out the opening (so the lil guys donât injure themselves on it), insulate, and line it, and then put it somewhere where itâs not going to get flooded or the animal snowed in, youâre grand. It might not seem like much in the face of subzero temperatures, but itâs damn well better than nothing.
