Warnings: mentions of smut, cursing, competitive Avengers
Word Count: 1,262
Summary: Bucky doesn’t share food. No exceptions. Well, one exception.
Bucky sat at the island counter alone, but he knew the solitude wouldn’t last long. It never did at the Compound. He shoveled another couple fries into his mouth and let his eyes trace over the words in his book as he quickly as he could. He wanted to enjoy his last few seconds of peace.
I love grumpy Bucky. I love sunshine reader. This is another ridiculous fic. Does it even make sense? Tbh no. I should have a section on my master list for utter fuckery and tom foolery.
Bucky being offended he looks cute. He’s a tough beefy muscly super soldier so how. dare. you.
You watched Bucky carefully as he took apart his gun, his brows furrowed as he focused on cleaning the different parts, setting each piece aside carefully so it wouldn’t get misplaced (after cursing under his breath when one part rolled under the couch) Every so often his tongue would dart out the harder he focused, completely in his own world. It was adorable.
“You look so cute” You giggled, setting your book down while he narrowed his eyes at you frowning. Did you just call him cute? How dare you. Bucky thought of himself as many things but cute? Absolutely not.
Summary: you have a date and Bucky’s not exactly happy about it.
Words: 3.8K
Trope: friends to lovers 💞 with a jealous Bucky trying his best to be brave, and failing horribly.
Notes: another fluff piece to mend Bucky’s heart ❤️ honestly, I have a problem with all these fluffy fics I’ve been writing recently. I just cannot stop myself lol.
"You have a date?" he manages to splutter just before the panic takes over and makes his heart skip a few beats.
Fuck!
A fucking date?!
His fingers are slipping on the wet handle of the pan he's in the midst of cleaning, and in that moment, all he can think about is how happy he is that he's currently bent over the kitchen sink so you can't make out the shocked expression on his face.
You're nodding beside him, playing with the dishtowel you're holding but Bucky can hardly make out what you're saying when you return his question with a quiet "yeah".
His ears are ringing bells and he just wants to get the fuck out of there.
Silently, he's begging for you to stop talking. He doesn't want to know more. Doesn't want to hear what you've agreed to and who you're... - fuck, what if it's someone he knows?
What if it's Sam?!
Shit!
The panic in Bucky's chest runs amok! If he walks in on his two best friends fucking, he's gonna kill himself!
With dread, he realises that he has to know how careful he needs to be around the compound...
"With - uh - with whom?" he clears his throat and curls his toes in prepared mortification, his narrowed gaze firmly fixed on a wet piece of broccoli that's lying lonely and sad at the bottom of the sink.
Please don't say Sam, please don't say Sam...
"You know the cute guy from the coffee shop?" you answer proudly, and it makes Bucky's heart spring violently back to life. That guy??? "- he finally asked me."
Well, it's not Sam - yet somehow, it's worse.
Deep breath, he tells himself and plasters on a neutral expression as he looks up from the pan and directly into your eyes.
At least you look excited, he concludes as he takes in your dreamy little smile that's usually reserved for when vibranium fingers briefly brush over your warm skin but that he now has to share with... him. The moron in the green apron. Mr I'm-too-busy-flirting-with-your-girl-to-get-your-order-right.
Fuck, he's burning up!
"That's great, sweetheart," he hears himself croak from far away, trying his best to sound like he's happy for you and not as if his heart is in the process of being ripped out of his chest. "I'm real happy for you."
"Thanks, Buck," you playfully bump your hip against his while looking down at your hands as you once again twist the towel between your fingers.
You seem almost... nervous. This date must really be a big deal to you.
He gulps and pushes away another incoming wave of nausea. It's not as if he hasn't long ago accepted that nothing will ever happen between the two of you. You're friends. That's it.
"Are you excited?" He asks without really knowing why. He doesn't want to hear your answer. To hear you verbally confirm the look you already have on your face.
Slowly you look up at him and he has to chomp down on his inner cheek to keep himself from doing something stupid.
"You know what?" you ask quietly with a tilt of your head and Bucky's heart starts racing even harder. "- I actually am."
Even you sound surprised - not that Bucky can really blame you.
"Mmh," he merely hums and pretends there's a particularly stubborn area on the dirty pan that needs his attention.
"Is that weird?" You ask.
He can feel how the sincere question in your voice laces itself around his abdomen, squeezing him tight.
Is it wrong of him to want to snap the stupid piece of teflon-coated metal in his hand in half? You're his best friend and he should just be happy you're happy.
Fuck it, he is happy! He loves you more than anything and you deserve to feel this way - he just wishes it was because of him and not someone else.
"No, sweetheart," he mumbles, trying to untie the invisible knot behind his navel as he starts scrubbing again. "Why would it be weird?"
Thankfully, you don't answer.
...
Cold droplets of water are running over your forehead and down the length of your nose, desperately trying to reduce the tension that's been resting right between your eyebrows since your conversation with Bucky last night.
Splashing your face with water is a stupid attempt to make yourself feel better - you know that - it hasn't worked the other times you've tried it and this must be the tenth attempt since you woke up this morning. The only thing that'll truly help is if Bucky would tell you what's going on.
He's been acting weird since last night, and even though you aren't sure what reaction you'd been hoping for, this definitely isn't it. You know he isn't exactly the biggest fan of the man who's taking you out for dinner later, but getting so annoyed he can barely uphold a conversation? Well, that wasn't really a scenario you'd even considered at all...
You suppose you could just tell him the truth - maybe that would make him more accepting of your choice of date - but it's not as if you can really tell him that the only reason you're going on that date to begin with is to force yourself to get over, well, him.
You've known Bucky two years now and apart from small moments here and there, nothing's happened. It's been two excruciating years full of pining and painful almosts and ifs but he clearly doesn't look at you that way and you don't want to keep putting yourself through the heartbreak. You deserve to spend your friday nights with someone who actually sees you for what you are: beautiful, smart, desirable, a woman.
And as you stand looking at yourself in the mirror, you realise that you need this date to get Bucky out of your head. Fuck if he doesn't approve of the cute guy from the coffee shop. It's none of his business who you're going out with and if he wants to be annoyed about it, then so be it.
Yet you still cannot stand the thought of him sitting by himself all night. He hasn't seemed like himself all day and you know how he can spiral over the smallest of things.
Thus, you check for Sam in the kitchen, the gym, and in the spa area in the basement of the compound, but eventually find him in the common room on the third floor, completely hypnotised as he stares at the television screen in front of him, the playstation controller grabbed tightly in his hands.
You do a quick scan around the room to confirm that it's just the two of you before you approach him. "Wilson, have you seen Bucky today?"
"Bucky? Uh - no," Sam mumbles without moving his gaze away from the animated character who's running through an abandoned city. "I assume you've already tried the dark cave he calls his room?"
"I know where he is," you sigh and flop down on the sofa next to him, stretching your legs and putting your feet in his lap. "I was just hoping that maybe you'd talked to him."
He doesn't answer apart from a few incoherent noises you're sure are for the game and not for you, so you poke at the controller with your toes to get his attention. "Sam..."
"Hey! I'm trying to save humanity from a zombie apocalypse here. Keep your stinking feet away from me," he playfully flicks the underside of your foot without sparing you a glance. "I already told you I haven't seen your siamese twin all day."
"Yeah, but do you think you could... go check on him maybe?"
"I'm busy. You go check on him."
"Sam..."
At the sound of your soft-spoken words, Sam sends you a brief side-eye before he finally tosses the controller down on the sofa table with a loud sigh. "What'd you do?"
"I didn't do anything," you shake your head innocently. Is it really your fault that Bucky is too childish to accept the man you're going out with? No.
Sam runs his eyes over you and squints hard. "You guys are usually so dependent, you're practically joined at the hip. And now you want me to go talk to him even though you didn't do anything?"
"Look, he's being weird," you sigh, "- can you just check on him? Please? Maybe have a guy's night in with beer and that stupid zombie-game you're always playing or whatever?" you gesture to the television screen where the character from before stands panting, saying random stuff every few seconds. "I don't want him to be alone."
"First of all, The Last of Us is not stupid!" Sam raises his index finger at you, feigning an insulted huff. "Secondly; a guy's night in..? While you're doing exactly what if I may ask?" he arches an eyebrow, urging you to keep talking.
"I - uh - I have plans," you say quickly and try and look determined although you can feel your entire face heating up. "...a date of sorts."
The dead-panned look on Sam's face is quickly wiped off, instead replaced with an annoyingly broad smirk. "You have a what now?" he chuckles teasingly.
"You heard me," you roll your eyes.
"Oh I heard you loud and clear," he hoots, "you are going on a date!" he says, emphasising the last word with a wriggle of his eyebrows.
"Don't be a dick about it."
"My, oh my. We're finally gonna see what kind of man that can sweep the rug from underneath you."
"Okay, I'm leaving," you make a move to stand up, but Sam interrupts you by putting his palm to your shin.
"Come on, I'm just teasing," he laughs, "tell me about your date. Who's it with? - Not Bucky, I assume."
"Why would I go on a date with Buck?" you shrug nonchalantly although you can once again feel the heat radiating through your every feature. "It's the cute blonde from the coffee house down the street."
"Oooh, the guy who looks like a young Brad Pitt but with humour?"
"That's the one," you press down on your lips and avoid looking directly at Sam. God, this is embarrassing.
"He's a cutie!" Sam teases with a chuckle.
"I know," you play with a loose thread on your shirt, avoiding his eye.
"Then why aren't you more excited about it?" He asks but immediately emits a groan, "Jesus... do not tell me it's because of Bucky?!"
"I'm worried about him," you whine and bury your face in the sofa cushions.
Sam rolls his eyes. "You're going on your first date in forever and you're worried about that sourpuss?"
"Sam, you didn't see the look on his face when I told him about it! He hates the guy - I think it really upset him."
"Of course it upset him," Sam scoffs, "It's like taking candy away from someone who really wants to fuck said candy!"
Your eyes snap over to Sam in an instance. Completely taken off guard, your voice dies in your throat. Did he just...? No, surely, you must've misheard.
"Come on, don't pretend you haven't noticed," Sam groans, "I swear to god, he's two days away from crawling behind you just so he can lick the ground you're walking on!"
The earth has stopped spinning. "W-what?"
"The puppy eyes? The 'pick me' behaviour?" he rolls his eyes at your shocked face.
Your heart starts pounding so fast you can barely keep up. "Are we talking about... Bucky? As in our Bucky?"
"Uh, huh," Sam nods as if it's the most obvious thing on the planet. "That guy's practically begging you to take him by the hand and lead him to your bed. He's so in love with you, it's disgusting to look at."
"He's what?!" You exclaim loudly, completely out of breath. This is definitely news to you! "No, no, no! Bucky's not in love with me, we're friends," you pant with the blood rushing past your ears.
Sam shoots you an unimpressed side-eye, "yeah keep telling yourself that"
"What do you mean?" you pant, trying to puzzle together Sam's suspicion with your disbelief.
"I swear to god, the two of you don't even have a single brain cell put together..." he rolls his eyes, "I've seen that boy almost snap his neck because you were laughing and he wanted to know what you were laughing at. Trust me when I say that he's not annoyed that you're going on that date - he's jealous."
Well... fuck!
...
You don't think you've ever been this nervous as you pace the hallway outside Bucky's bedroom. You've been here ten minutes now, desperately trying to force yourself to actually make contact with him, but you're holding yourself back. There's so much on the line and what if Sam's incorrect? Then, you will truly have mucked up and everything between you and Bucky will be ruined.
Shit!
You stop pacing. You can hear his favourite album from the forties playing on the other side of the wall but apart from that, there hasn't been a single sound from in there.
You pray he's in a better mood than when you walked in on him angrily hunched over his bowl of cereal this morning, but the fact that he put on the only type of music that can calm him down, doesn't really scream 'put-together'.
It makes you even more nervous though you know you have to talk to him at some point. It's not as if you can avoid him forever - so before you can truly think about the upside of postponing the inevitable conversation, you raise your knuckles and carefully knock on his door.
Everything inside you tenses up. You vision becomes blurry, and you seem to automatically focus all your attention on the sounds coming from inside his room. There's a short shuffle, a sigh and then an irritated "what?!" muttered from somewhere behind the walls.
This is bound to go wrong.
You consider running away and pretend you've never even been near his room, but it's too late to back out now. You have to talk to him at some point, you remind yourself.
With your nerves running wild and the blood pumping through your every vein, artery, and fibre, you open the door a little and poke your head inside his room with a small "hi," your throat so dry it comes out as a hoarse whisper.
He's sitting on the bed with his long legs crossed at the ankles, his hand buried inside a book that's lying closed in his lap. He looks angry at everything and everyone - as if he's minutes away from strangling someone - but when he finds your eyes from across the room, the tense muscles in his cheeks seem to unclench a little.
"Oh, hey," he breathes and runs a hand through his hair in embarrassment, licking his lips. "I thought you were Sam..."
You smile, so relieved to see him softening that you automatically step inside his room without waiting for him to ask you to. "Sorry to disappoint."
"You're not," he shakes his head with a small gulp, "I thought you'd left already. Don't you have that big date?" he asks in a weird voice and sends you a stiff smile.
"Not until seven," you shrug and sit down next to him on his bed, immediately noticing how he's started avoiding your gaze.
"Right," he nods and occupies himself by putting his book on his bedside table. "So - uh - still looking forward to it?"
How do you tell your best friend that no, you're not looking forward to it because he's the one you really want to go out with?
"I don't know," you shrug, suddenly so anxious your temples have started pounding, "not really."
He finally looks up at you again, his slate blue eyes jittery as they meticulously search your face. "What happened?" He asks with tightly knitted eyebrows, "you were so excited for it yesterday."
You hesitate. "...Honestly?"
"Yeah, honestly," he sits up a little straighter, a serious look on his face, "- he didn't upset you, did he?" He says on impulse, his voice suddenly dark and dripping with venom at the mere thought as he reaches out for you and puts his fingers on your arm.
"No Buck," you shake your head and take a deep breath to get your pulse under control. "He didn't upset me."
"Then what?" He squeezes your arm softly, his eyes concerned as he tries to read you, "you can tell me anything."
"I know... It's just that..." you hesitate and consider ending your sentence with I'm in love with you, but the words die in your throat.
"What sweetheart?" he shuffles a little closer to you.
"Bucky," you heave a big breath of air to prepare your bold question that can potentially change everything between you dependant on his answer. "Do you not want me to go on that date?"
"What?" his eyes immediate travel over your face and you can almost hear his pulse running haywire as his fingers let go of your arm. "What makes you think that?"
"It's just..." your breathing picks up as you scan his every anxious feature. It makes you anxious too. "- you started acting weird the minute I told you about it. You've been avoiding me all day."
His fingers find your arm again, his grip a little tighter than before as he desperately looks at you. "No, no, no, sweetheart! That's not what happened," he licks his lips and plasters on the fake smile he's been practising in the mirror all day. "- I mean... I'm not the biggest fan of the guy but who you're dating is really none of my concern. I'm sure he's great, and as long as he treats you well, I'll make sure he stays on my good side," he says softy and sends you a smile that seems a little too genuine for your liking.
You hesitate again as you check his face for cracks, but his smile stays intact and happy. "...So you're really okay with it?" you ask in a small voice, mortified.
"Are you kidding me? Sweetheart, of course I'm okay with it!" he slides his fingers down your arm, capturing your hand inside his fist. "I really just want you to be happy. That's what's important. And you deserve to be taken care of for once instead of being stuck here with me and Sam." He reassuringly squeezes your fingers tight, but it just feels as if he's in the process of letting you go.
Slowly, you can feel your heart breaking.
You knew it... You knew Sam was wrong. Bucky isn't in love with you. Never has been. Never will be. Things are exactly the way they've always been and you're left pining after a man who doesn't want you back.
God, you feel like a idiot for getting your hopes up like that.
"Good," you nod resolutely, fighting hard to not let the heartbreak slip through your well-feigned mask. "I'm happy to hear you feel that way."
"Of course I do," he smiles solemnly.
"I should probably go get ready then..."
"Yeah," Bucky nods and lets go of you. "It's almost six."
With a sigh you hope he doesn't hear, you stand up from his bed and brush down the front of your jeans, not really sure you even want to leave his room.
He's looking up at you like a deer caught in headlights. "Have fun," he says while his hands grab the sheets underneath him, fisting the fabric. "- can't wait to hear all about it."
"Thanks, Buck," you feign a smile to match his, "I'll see you tomorrow."
"See you, sweetheart..."
You turn around with a wave of your hand, but the smile on your face falters the minute you've turned on your heel.
You can hear his heavy breathing over the music playing in the corner, and when you reach out for the door handle, a delicate sound finally breaks the reticence between you.
"Don't go..."
At first, you're not sure if you're imagining it, but then you hear him shuffling behind you, and when you turn around and face him, he's on his feet. "Don't go on that date," he whimpers in defeat, "I'm begging you. Please... don't go."
"Bucky..."
"I'm in love with you," he says guiltily with a gulp.
Your heart stops.
"- and I can't pretend I'm okay with you going on dates when I'm not."
You're completely speechless. You want to comment on everything. Run to him and proclaim that you're his. That you've always been his. But you're nailed to the spot and all that manages to escape your lips is a tight whimper.
"- I know it's probably not what you want to hear right now..." he closes his eyes and looks as if he's in pain. "And I know I'm risking everything by telling you this," he gulps, "but I've been keeping it in for so fucking long, trying to protect our friendship. I just can't keep pretending I don't want... more. It's stupid, I know."
"Bucky, it's not stupid," you finally manage to croak and it's as if the force that've been gluing you to the spot finally lets go. "It's not," you whisper as you take a few long strides over to him, stopping right before your chests touch. "It's not stupid," you repeat and reach a hand upwards, caressing his bearded chin.
His eyes are glistening, and his breathing is coming in ragged as he searches your face. "Sweetheart," he gulps in confusion, "I don't... - what does this mean?"
"It means -" your hand reaches up so it can rake through his hair, coming to a halt on the back of his neck where you can feel the goosebumps travel through his entire body. "- that I'm in love with you too. Have been for quite some time. Since I met you, actually."
Now it's his turn to be glued to the spot.
His mouth falls a little open and you can tell by the look on his face that he's in the process of questioning everything, so you underline your confession by putting your forehead to his. "I want to be yours," you whisper and observe him closely.
At first, he tenses even harder, but then a small smile starts tugging on his lips as he finally relaxes in your arms and pulls you closer. "I want you to be mine, too," he declares sweetly as his heart blossoms in his chest. He reaches down and kisses your cheeks, your nose, your forehead.
"It's you," he whispers against your skin, "- It's always been you."
"Kiss me," you beam and almost cannot stop smiling silly when you reach up for his mouth, finally claiming the softest, most pillowy lips you've ever had the pleasure of kissing.
Summary: You are afraid to believe that someone like Bucky might actually love you back.
Pairing: Bucky x Female!Shy!Insecure!Reader
Genre: Angst with happy ending
Warnings: Casual sex (?), misunderstandings, self-deprecation
A/N: I’m actually not very happy with how this turned out but I hope some of you might enjoy it anyway?
Word count: 4.8k
You had never fallen in love before until you met Bucky.
You had spent your whole life wondering when it would happen to you - when you would feel that heart-racing, mind-blowing, bliss-inducing love that you saw so often in movies and read in novels.
Falling for him had been unexpected, like you had been turning corners in an endless maze until suddenly - there he was. This unbelievably talented, unique, intelligent man who treated you with respect and kindness. He showed interest in you when you were too shy to approach him first, talking to you about the everyday mundane, making you feel special. Out of all the incredible people Bucky knew and interacted with, he made you feel like you counted, too.
You worked as a lab tech at the Avengers compound since landing the coveted job two years ago, working closely with Bruce Banner, and had witnessed first hand when Bucky joined the team. He had been quiet at first, introverted, but you watched as he blossomed like a flower. He revealed more of his great sense of humour, wicked smile and subtle charm which made you fall for him.
When you were around him, you felt like your nerve endings were on fire. Every touch from him on your arm, your shoulders, the small of your back, sent pulses shooting through your body and a flush of red straight to your cheeks. The power he had over you was undeniable, and you were certain he knew it, too.
The moment you realised you were in trouble was on a Saturday afternoon, four months after you first met him. He returned to the compound one day with a nasty gash on his forehead and blood crusting his hands, his eyes tired and face pale. The moment you saw him, you knew that if anything were to happen to him, you would have no idea how to cope. Even seeing him with relatively minor injuries made your chest clench in fear and anxiety.
Without a doubt, you had finally fallen in love.
Your first time with Bucky was unexpected. He was perched on one of the counters in your lab, snacking on a pack of cashews as he watched you peer into a microscope. You could barely focus on the work at hand, hyper aware of his presence and ocean blue eyes on your form.
“You’re not supposed to eat in here, you know,” you murmured, trying to hide your smile.
“I know,” he countered, continuing to chew obnoxiously.
You had been harbouring your secret feelings for him for over a year and a half. With every day that passed, you found it harder and harder to figure out what to do. Sometimes you felt that he reciprocated them - the constant flirting, the close touches, the excuses he made to spend time alone with one another. But you were too afraid to ask him outright how he felt about you, and too shy to make the first move.
“How’s your leg?” You asked, if only to distract yourself from your thoughts, referring to the injury he had received a few days ago.
“Much better. Strong as ever.” He kicked it out suddenly as to punctuate his words.
“Hey,” you exclaimed, alarmed. “I wish you would be more careful. Seems you’re always getting patched up lately.” You were frowning, and Bucky seemed amused at your concern.
“Occupational hazard.”
“Whatever. Just don’t bust open your stitches and bleed all over my lab. It’s just been sanitized.” You sniffed as Bucky cocked his head at you, flashing his adorable grin. “In fact I’m violating several health and safety rules just allowing you to be in here,” you said, trying to keep your face straight as Bucky threatened to tease a smile from you.
You turned back to the work at hand, working in comfortable silence as Bucky observed you. He soon seemed restless, however, and you looked up again when he jumped off his perch and walked over to you, bumping you with his shoulder. He smelled so good - like the forest after it had just rained. He looked down at you, giving you one of his trademark dimpled smiles yet again.
“What?”
“I’m bored,” he shrugged.
“Don’t you have top secret, dangerous mission stuff to do?” You asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Your heart was beating fast as he leaned closer suddenly, eyes flickering from yours down to your mouth. He had been doing that a lot as of late.
“Rather do something else,” he said quietly, his tongue darting out to wet his lower lip.
Time stood still. He suddenly closed the distance between you, and then you were kissing. His lips were soft, his hands gentle as they raised to cradle your face, sliding into your hair.
Your hands raised on their own accord to grab the edges of his leather jacket, pulling him closer, feeling surreal as he deepened the kiss.
He pulled away just long enough for you to ask breathlessly, “Is this actually happening?”
All he did was chuckle and pull you back against him again.
You were positively floating as Bucky grabbed your hand and led you to his private floor in the compound, into his bedroom. You thought you were dreaming when he lay you down softly on his bed, undressing you both because your hands were shaking.
“Is this okay?” He whispered, eyes searching your face as you nodded.
“Yes,” you said instantly. “It’s okay.”
That night, you had sex with him for the first time. He held you tightly as he thrust inside you, peppering your face with kisses, making you whimper with pleasure until you both reached the inevitable climax.
You felt you could die happy now as you fell asleep in Bucky’s arms, feeling like the luckiest girl in the world.
Insecurity was an ugly thing.
You woke up a couple of hours before Bucky, lying with your eyes wide open as the ink black sky slowly lightened, the sun bleeding across the horizon.
You looked at this man lying beside you - this perfect specimen, eyes closed and lips slightly parted as he slept, his chiselled jawline, ruggedly handsome features. The reality of what had happened was slowly sinking in, bringing with it doubts and questions as to what this meant.
God, he was so beautiful. So perfect in literally every way. You were fully aware of his contrast to you.
You had never considered yourself a beautiful girl. You had always been very conscious of your flaws, the way your body didn’t look quite the way you wanted it to, the way you felt that no one really gave you a second look.
I’m bored, Bucky had said yesterday. Were you just a cure for his boredom?
You gnawed at your bottom lip, uncertainties flooding into your system as you recalled the conversation and events leading up to the steamy encounter yesterday. Had he pulled you tighter against him, or had you simply imagined it? Did he do this all the time, or were you an exception?
People had causal sex all the time. You knew that Natasha and Steve had fooled around before and continued as friends only, and a lot of the S.H.I.E.L.D agents you knew had been known to sleep around interdepartmentally, lending to some interesting work gossip.
You knew you were stupid to let yourself think something serious might be happening. You and Bucky hadn’t even spoken about feelings or been on anything which remotely resembled a date. Bucky had been a proper charmer back in the day, you were well aware.
Your heart plummeted as you continued to think. You were suddenly so relieved you hadn’t revealed your feelings for him last night in your stupor. You had been so happy to be held by him, to be kissed by him, but that’s all it was - just a bit of fun. It had to be.
You felt Bucky stir beside you eventually, and you clutched the covers close to your naked body as he opened his eyes and smiled at you lazily.
What was the proper etiquette? Were you supposed to leave as soon as possible?
“Morning,” he said huskily. He looked so adorable that the panic in your chest quelled momentarily.
“Morning,” you smiled.
He yawned, his dark hair unruly as he ran his fingers through it.
“What’s the time?”
You cleared your throat. “Just gone seven. I have an early meeting with Bruce.”
“Mmm. Okay. You have to go now?” He looked at you with what may have been disappointment.
“I should probably get going, yeah. Need to prepare,” you said, eyes scanning the room for your clothes as you blushed at the thought of dressing in front of Bucky, even though he had seen you in all your naked glory last night.
Bucky suddenly moved in close and kissed you, causing your breath to hitch. You felt self conscious about how worn out you probably looked first thing in the morning, but melted into his touch nonetheless.
"Are we going to do this again?" He managed to get out against your lips.
"If you like," you answered carefully.
"I would very much like."
“Me too,” you said shyly, pulling back from Bucky and ducking your head down.
"So you're okay with this?"
Your heart constricted then, wanting to shout loudly that no, it’s not okay, and you actually wanted a serious relationship. But how terrifying would that be to suddenly dump your confessions onto him when the poor man had no idea how you felt?
But you didn’t know what was worse. Just being friends with benefits, or actually confessing your true feelings and pushing him away completely.
“Sure,” you said finally, keeping your voice purposely light. “It’s just sex, Bucky. It’s okay.”
Bucky froze then, his expression unreadable as he stared at you. His eyebrows were slightly drawn together, his lips stiffening as he swallowed.
“What?” You asked carefully, feeling inexplicably nervous.
Bucky was silent for a beat before responding. “Nothing.” He gestured between you with his vibranium hand, frowning ever so slightly. “This is nothing. Right?”
He wanted affirmation. You felt shame flood your chest.
“Right,” you said weakly, turning away before Bucky could see the tears in your eyes. “I better get going.”
He didn’t say anything as you hurriedly pulled on your clothes and mumbled an imperceptible “Bye” before you let yourself out.
As it turned out, it didn’t happen again.
You had no idea what you had done or how you had messed it up, but you had.
You had never done this before. Never casually hopped into bed with a man without something greater at play. You had one ex-boyfriend from your college days who was sweet but you were never truly in love with, and sex with him had happened a few months into your relationship.
You didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know how to act around Bucky anymore. Didn’t know what he even wanted.
You thought he just wanted a fling. No strings attached. But after that day, somehow, the two of you were never alone again.
He gave you small, if a little curt, smiles now and again and sometimes spoke to you about work-related matters if necessary, but everything else had suddenly disappeared.
A monstrous, ugly feeling gnawed a hole in your chest, slowly over the next two weeks until it was a gaping cavern. Had you messed it up so badly that Bucky just wasn’t interested anymore? Or worse - had it been his objective all along to just get you into bed and then disappear?
No, he wasn’t like that, you decided, quickly dismissing the thought. The only logical conclusion, then, was that your performance had been so poor that he just didn’t want to be intimate again, but didn’t know how to tell you.
You felt so lost. This isn’t what you wanted, not really. You were never one for casual sex, and yet it killed you how Bucky was avoiding you now. You’d rather reduce yourself to his fuck buddy than nothing. That one night with him had been magical, had made you think about an entire lifetime of mornings waking up beside him.
Your misery was clear to see to all those around you, particularly Bruce, whom you had become very good friends with since you worked together in such close proximity.
“Are you okay?” He asked suddenly, exactly two weeks after your night with Bucky. You were prodding about with some equipment you were working on for Sam’s wings. “And don’t just say you are, because I can tell you’re not.”
You shrugged half heartedly. “I guess I’m not. But I don’t really want to talk about it.”
“You might feel better,” Bruce said, approaching you with a sympathetic tilt of the head. “You know I don’t usually pry, but I’m kind of worried. I can tell you’re upset.”
“Not upset,” you lied quickly, meeting his eyes. “Just…I need to get out of my own head, maybe.”
Bruce studied your face carefully but didn’t delve any further. “Tell you what. Maybe you’ll feel better tonight at the party.”
You wanted to groan loudly. Tony’s annual charity gala. You had looked forward to it before, the prospect of dressing up and maybe getting a dance with Bucky, but you weren’t quite in the party mood anymore. Still, you decided to maintain as positive of a mindset as you could, returning Bruce’s smile and promising yourself that you’d try and have a good time.
You left work with a slightly reinvigorated mindset as you headed back to your apartment to get changed. Maybe tonight could be a chance to relight that spark with Bucky again - if not that way, then you at least wanted some assurance that you were still friends.
You tried your best to uplift your mood whilst you got ready. You changed into a silky blue dress, one which complimented Bucky’s eyes, you realised. Perhaps this had been in your subconscious the day you’d picked it out. It was a long number, quite form fitting with a modest slit up the leg. You tried hard with your makeup and jewellery, the idea of impressing Bucky at the forefront of your mind as you tried to steady your racing heart every time he popped into your head.
Observing yourself in the mirror, you smoothed down the sides of your dress and tried to practice your smile. You managed to leave your apartment in a much better, optimistic state as you hailed a cab to take you to the gala venue.
It was being held in a new building commissioned by Tony next to Central Park, extravagant enough to rival the Met. You walked into the marble lobby, gaping at the high, vaulted ceilings and chandeliers hanging everywhere for just a moment, before you began searching the crowd for a familiar face.
You found yourself mingling with your other fellow lab techs who were buzzing with excitement to be invited to such an event, and you suppressed a frown as 30 minutes passed with no sign of Bucky.
Eventually, the crowd filtered into the main room filled with round tables where dinner would be served, and a huge glass bar which stretched along one side of the room. People were still socialising before food was to be served, and your eyes were roving non-stop, unable to focus on proper conversation with anyone.
Finally, just when your hope was dissipating, you saw him. He was standing in the middle of the crowded bar, clad in a black tux. This was the first time you had ever seen him in such an outfit, and it took your breath away. He held a flute of champagne in one hand, a complete vision and so different to how you usually saw him, typically fresh off the battlefield in his combat gear.
He was talking to Sam who had his back towards you. Bucky’s expression was unreadable but, as if sensing your burning eyes on him, he glanced towards you.
He did a double take, pausing mid-sentence to Sam, and you held your breath. He gave you a polite, if slightly terse, smile. He turned his attention away from you again, and your heart clenched.
It hurt more than you thought it would. It was just a tiny gesture, and he had acknowledged you, but why did it cause you pain?
No. Stop overthinking. You excused yourself from your colleagues and found yourself walking towards Bucky and Sam, reminding yourself that you were friends. You spoke to Bucky all the time - okay, maybe not in the last couple of weeks, but you had nothing to be afraid of. Just act normal.
“Hey guys,” you said lightly, watching as Bucky cleared his throat and gave you that same, tight smile.
“Hey, gorgeous,” Sam beamed, giving you a one armed hug. “You look stunning.”
You smiled shyly, twisting your hands together as you looked at Bucky.
“Thanks. You both look very handsome.”
As if answering your prayers for alone time with Bucky, you heard Clint in the distance beckon for Sam to go over, and he excused himself, leaving you two stood in a slightly awkward silence.
Bucky raised his champagne and took a sip as you tried to get him to meet your eyes.
“How have you been?” You asked finally. “Haven’t spoken to you in a while.”
Bucky shrugged, finally looking at you. “Been okay. Busy.”
You felt frustration rising. Usually he would be telling you all about the things that had occurred in his day, his daily arguments with Sam, anything and everything in between. But now he spoke to you as if you were merely acquaintances.
“Listen. Did I do something wrong?” You said finally, surprising yourself by cutting to the chase. You just wanted Bucky back, and you let your desperation take over.
Bucky seemed taken aback at your forward approach, but he composed himself quickly.
“Nothing,” he said, his tone ever so slightly blunt. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
You felt like you were going to cry. You didn’t know how just a fortnight ago, you and Bucky had been locked in a passionate cinch in his bed, and now he was completely icing you out.
“Okay,” you said, deflating slightly. You knew that if he didn’t want to tell you, there was nothing you could do to squeeze it out of him.
“I’m gonna go take a seat,” he muttered, giving you one last look before he walked away.
You quickly hurried back to your colleagues, embarrassment searing your insides.
The evening passed painfully slowly. You found yourself sat quietly at your table after dinner service had ended and people were either having drinks, chatting out on the balconies or dancing in the middle of the ballroom.
You felt the gala could not get any worse. Until it did.
Natasha and Bucky were in the middle of the dance floor, swallowed up in the sea of couples and yet standing out due to their striking attractiveness. Natasha was dressed in a short, tight black dress, so simple and yet so gorgeous. Her red hair was straight and sleek, and she looked up at Bucky as they danced, his signature almost-cocky smile on his lips. A smile which he had not shown you since that day.
Natasha was effortlessly beautiful. She didn’t even have to try and she could get any man she wanted. Bucky included, obviously. You watched their movements closely as they danced, how they spoke to each other in low voices.
The emotions rising in your chest was like bile in your throat. It burned, it hurt, and it was able to illicit a terrible response in your brain.
You felt so ridiculous.
The dress you had on suddenly felt too tight, too uncomfortable around your stomach. You caught sight of your reflection in one of the large, ornate mirrors hanging off the walls and suddenly felt so ugly. You had tried so hard tonight, and for what? Bucky had barely given you ten seconds of his attention, and at the end of the day, no amount of effort could make you feel beautiful.
You didn’t know how you could’ve let yourself believe in something more. You had to make every effort to even just feel somewhat presentable, but women like Natasha didn’t have to. She was stunning and talented and intelligent, the obvious choice.
God knows why you had been questioning Bucky’s lack of attention. Maybe you had simply been misinterpreting your closeness all along.
You stood then, not wanting to cry in front of an audience. No one would notice you early departure anyway.
You left the ballroom, almost tripping in your stupid heels as you collected your things from the cloakroom.
Shrugging on your heavy coat as you marched through the empty lobby, you yelped in pain as you rolled your ankle clumsily, sending you crashing gracelessly onto the floor. You cursed, coat half-hanging off your body as you felt tears spring to your eyes.
It was the last straw. You were crying as you tried to stand, ankle throbbing, feeling mildly grateful that there was no one around to witness your childish episode. You thought you might have heard someone calling your name, but you ignored it, the roaring in your ears failing to stop.
Your tears didn’t cease, not even when you finally made it back home, ripping off the dress as soon as you could and crawling into the safety of your bed.
Bucky finally found you the next day in your lab on your lunch break. You were startled to see him appear in the doorway, your eyes tired and swollen from a night of crying. You hoped it wasn’t too obvious.
“Bruce isn’t here,” was the first thing you said.
He looked almost annoyed as he walked in and said, “Wasn’t looking for him.”
“Oh. What do you want?” The words came out harsher than you intended. Bucky definitely looked annoyed now, a scowl fixed on his face.
He shook his head. “Never mind. Forget it.”
“Bucky!” Your voice came out loud and sharp as he turned back around. Frustration erupted. “You know what - you have no right to behave this way.”
“Excuse me?” He turned to look at you incredulously, forehead creasing.
“The way you’ve been treating me - the past few weeks since that night - you just ignore me now,” you were practically spluttering, all your feelings fighting to pour themselves out at once. “It’s horrible. I thought we were friends.”
“We were,” he said, looking almost torn.
“It’s not fair.” Your eyes were stinging and you were mortified, hurriedly lifting your hands to wipe them.
“Are you crying?” Bucky asked softly, looking nervous.
“Yes,” you snapped. “I thought we were close - I thought you liked me.” You were humiliated at your confession but ploughed on. “I thought that night meant something. But you -”
“Woah, hang on -”
“Don’t interrupt me!” You huffed.
Bucky took you in his arms, pulling you into his chest as you tried to pull back.
“Calm down,” he grunted, holding you still as you let out an exasperated noise. “Breathe.”
You knew he wouldn’t let up, so you let your anger reduce to a simmer as you focused on breathing steadily.
“Good girl.”
His presence was comforting despite your anger and frustration towards him. He always made you feel safe.
“I thought you liked me,” you repeated in a quiet voice. You were staring at his chest, refusing to look at him.
“I do,” he said, his voice tight.
“No, I thought you liked me as more than a friend.”
Bucky pulled back, lifting two figures under your chin and forcing you to meet his eyes.
“Can we rewind?” His request was soft. “Tell me. What did that night mean to you?”
“Are you really going to make me do this?”
His silence spoke volumes.
You tried not to let your frustration get the better of you. “I really like you, Bucky. I’m not a girl who enjoys sex with no strings attached. Especially not with you. I mean, I enjoyed the sex -” you blushed violently, “- but I - I want more.” Your words were rushed and you stared at the empty spot above his head, wanting to die from embarrassment.
“More?” He promoted.
“A relationship,” you clarified. “I know that’s not what you want. And that’s fine. But if we could at least just go back to how we were, where you actually spoke to me and spent time with me, I would really like that. Because I miss you.”
Bucky looked perplexed as he released you, mouth opening wordlessly. Finally, he uttered, “I don’t want that.”
Searing pain burst inside you, and your face crumpled.
“No, no, no,” he said hurriedly as your vision blurred. “I mean - I don’t want to be friends because I want to be together. I want a relationship.”
“With me?” You asked, confusion marring your face.
“With you.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” you said instantaneously. “Are you joking? This isn’t funny.”
“Would I joke about something like that?”
“You said you were bored,” you blurted. “You asked me if I was ‘okay with this’.” As you spoke, you realised how groundless your assumptions actually might be, but you refused to believe the alternative - that Bucky genuinely wanted to be with you.
Bucky threw his hands up in the air, looking defensive. “You said it was ‘just sex’! I never at any point told you that this was just fun for me.”
“I thought that’s what you wanted.”
Bucky dragged a hand over his face, sighing. “Okay, I think we may have had a breakdown in communication.”
“But I don’t get it,” you insisted. “Why would you want to be with me? I saw you with Natasha last night.”
“Dancing,” he said indignantly. “Just dancing.”
“You didn’t dance with me,” you shot back. “I - I only went to that dumb thing because I wanted you to ask me to dance.”
Bucky looked pained, biting down on his lower lip with regret. “I didn’t know.”
“I wanted to look nice for you,” you confessed quietly.
“You did. You were gorgeous.”
You laughed humourlessly. Bucky frowned.
“I’m being serious.”
“Sure.” You genuinely didn’t believe him.
“Stop that and look at me,” he said sharply.
His eyes were filled with both annoyance and affection, making you falter. You didn’t say anything when he sighed and stroked your hair.
“I wanted to tell you how beautiful you were. But I just couldn’t bear to be near you. I thought you just wanted something casual. And I don’t think I can handle that.”
“I can’t handle that either,” you confessed. “I really want to be with you, Bucky.”
Bucky beamed then upon hearing your words, relief washing over his face.
“Really?”
How could he ever doubt that? You smiled and nodded, but your smile was fragile and faded at the thought of Bucky and Natasha dancing last night. Even if there was nothing untoward happening, you still felt that he should be with someone as equally impressive as Natasha.
“Yes,” you confirmed. “I want to be with you, but at the same time, I don’t know why you would want to be with me.”
Bucky frowned. “Is it that hard to understand?”
You didn’t say anything, so Bucky continued, “I thought you knew how I felt. I’ve been making it pretty damn obvious these past few months.”
“I thought you were just being nice,” you mumbled. “I did think, sometimes, maybe you had feelings for me, but then I decided it just didn’t make sense.”
“Tell me why,” Bucky said gently.
You took a deep breath, knowing you could be vulnerable around him. “I’ve never felt that I was good enough for you. I feel so average, so normal. And you - well, you’re you. So outstanding in every way.”
Bucky shook his head, lifting a hand to cup your cheek. He smiled slightly when you blushed in response, skin flaming.
“Listen to me. Do you know how I view myself? I’m completely flawed, my morals are sometimes questionable, I’ve done terrible things -”
You were shaking your head vehemently in disagreement, and he smiled.
“See? You’re proving my point. We’re our own biggest critics. And maybe you don’t see how amazing you are, but I do. And I want you. I have pretty good taste, you know.” The way he looked at you made your self-doubt falter - he was observing you like you were so precious, the softness and tenderness in his face making your heart flutter.
You smiled then, Bucky taking a step closer, dipping his head to whisper against your lips.
“I’ll spend the rest of my life convincing you how brilliant you are, if that’s what it takes.”
Hello! Who wants to have their feelings hurt?! 🙋🏻♀️ I love some good angst, some pain, some emotional turmoil.
Warnings: relationship drama, references to violence, arguments, crying, ex!Bucky
“What are you doing here?” You stared at Bucky, shocked. Perplexed. He had no business at your apartment. Especially not so late at night. Especially not after what he’d done. The way he’d treated you. It took a long time- too long- to achieve some sense of normalcy after things fell apart. After he broke your heart. You weren’t over him; you feared you never would be. But you finally arrived at something that resembled stability. You were nearly okay- nearly.
But Bucky’s unexpected presence took you out at the knees. Was he always this beautiful? Or did you just miss him? His hair was a bit longer, his stubble a little scruffier. His deep blue eyes softened at the sight of you. No, he was always this beautiful. Dammit.
His expression was stern. Serious. Just like it had been when he left. He’d promised you he’d never come back. “Can I come in?” He was a liar, apparently.
Ex model, turned actor James “Bucky” Barnes never believed in that sort of thing -at least not until Julissa Castillo entered his life. Julissa was everything James never realized he wanted AND needed. When their lives become intertwined in ways they never thought possible- will these two have the courage to acknowledge they are worthy of love? Not just from each other-but themselves?
Characters: AUBucky Barnes x OC Latina character
Warnings: Mental health, drug use mention, alcohol use, future smut, angst, slow burn, domestic violence mention, fluff, language
Rating: NC-17
Present
Bucky Barnes weaved through the crowd of people, trying his best to look inconspicuous as he followed behind his best friend Sam Wilson. A few people glanced in their direction, some not giving him a second glance, others eyeing him suspiciously. He glanced back up at his best friend, who looked back at him with a knowing smirk.
"Yeah- they know it's you." Sam teased.
Bucky grimaced and gave Sam a slight shove indicating to keep walking. Usually, Bucky didn't mind the attention. After 10 years in the movie industry, he was used to or tolerated it. He knew it came with the territory and got good at detaching himself when he was out and around people. But he wasn't in the mood to use that tactic, especially since Sam tricked him into going to a dance club.
Bucky would have fought against it harder if it wasn't for the fact that he had been cooped up on location for a new movie for five months. It was the best work he'd ever done and was damn proud of it. And what better way to celebrate the last day of filming than Las Vegas?
Sam might have thought he tricked him into going to a club, but they both knew if Bucky didn't want to go, he would not have. Besides the club vibe wasn't so bad when you downed a half bottle of whiskey before leaving the hotel room. Slowly he started to feel the alcohol run through his bloodstream. He chugged the last bit of his whiskey from his glass and lifted his head, gaze bouncing from group to group as he tried to decide who would be the perfect diversion for the night.
But the thought quickly left when he walked past a group of people who curiously gazed in his direction. He was going to need more whiskey if this was how the rest of the night was going to go.
From the corner of his eye, he spotted two club bouncers in front of a section blocked off by velvet ropes. Sam stopped in front of them and spoke. One of the bouncers slightly nodded, unhooked the rope, and moved aside, making way for Sam and Bucky to walk through.
This part of the club was darker, making it harder to see, except for clusters of people on the dance floor, and around the more private tables/booths.
"There!" Sam yelled over the music and nodded toward a booth Bucky couldn't see.
He frowned. The only thing he spotted was a group of girls laughing and taking shots of alcohol around a table. He opened his mouth ready to argue but stopped when his trainer appeared past the group of girls.
"WILSON! BARNES!" the deep voice boomed, making a few people glare in his direction and others stare in awe. Even with the loud music, his presence was not something that could be missed. A few girls gawked at the 6 ft., beefy man with long golden locks and a charming smile. Bucky only smirked.
"Hey! THOR! My man!" Sam replied first.
"Wilson!!" Thor shouted back, accidentally bumping into a group of people. "Sorry! Sorry!" He apologized. "Shots on me when I come back!" He promised with his winning smile.
Bucky snorted. "Are you drunk?"
"I didn't start it. Blame Val." Pointing in the general direction of where Bucky assumed Thor's friend/business partner was waiting for them.
Bucky had been training on and off with Thor Odison for five years now. And in between that time, they had formed a friendship, much to Bucky's surprise.
It was right around the time Bucky decided he needed to get serious about his body and health. They had met by pure accident in line at the juice bar by Thor's gym. Before Bucky could say no, Thor had planned a one-on-one fitness plan. Bucky realized later that no one could truly say no to Thor.
And yes his name was Thor. According to him, his parents had been hippies who had fallen in love with the name after reading it in mythology. Bucky would not have believed the reasoning- until he met Thor's adoptive brother Loki. After that- Bucky never questioned Thor again.
"Yeah, yeah, because she twisted your arm," Sam said with a roll of their eyes.
Bucky nodded in agreement, ready to add to the teasing until he heard the happy screams and laughter to his right. He couldn't see much but the top of their heads but it was the same group of girls he noticed when they first stepped into the VIP lounge.
"We're over there!" Thor yelled.
"Now she has the right idea," Sam said with a nod.
Bucky followed Sam's gaze as the volume of the laughter increased. He glanced just in time to catch a petite woman with strawberry blonde hair take a step back from the group, bobbing along to the music as she clumsily climbed the booth seats and plopped right down as if it were a throne, completely oblivious to the staff and bouncers glaring in her direction.
She was cute. He could do cute- for the night. Maybe later he could -
Oh.
Okay... maybe not.
Bucky's lips curled into a wicked smile when a long-haired brunette approached the strawberry blonde and pressed a chaste kiss on her lips. The brunette pulled away and handed her a beer, with a beaming smile. Bucky squinted and noticed the white satchels across both women's chests.
After a few seconds, the words embroidered on the satchels became clear.
Bachelorette.
Oh, well it wasn't as if there weren't other women in the club. The night was young. He lifted his gaze and looked back into the crowd, trying to decide who would be worth his time. His thought was cut short when he heard more happy and drunk screams/laughter from the bachelorette table.
He was a few feet away now and curiosity got the best of him. Discreetly he watched the group move about like pieces of a puzzle. What the hell were they doing?
"Shit- sorry-!" Bucky apologized and bumped right into another body. Instinctively he grabbed their elbow to keep them from falling backward. He was so preoccupied with watching the group he almost forgot he was in the middle of the club.
"It's okay- it's pretty crowded here!" Or at least that's what it sounded like they said over the music.
Bucky was tempted to make a smart-ass remark but stopped as his gaze landed on the deepest, darkest amber color eyes he had ever seen.
"Whoa," he muttered under his breath, unable to look away. They were a mixture of warmth and cool deep that reminded him of autumn in New York. Bucky blinked out of the trance when she spoke again.
"Actually-." She started apprehensively before looking over her shoulder. "Would you mind taking a picture?" Those doe eyes gazing up at him.
And just like that- he jolted back to reality. His jaw twitched, as a feeling of annoyance bubbled in the pit of his stomach. Of course, this would happen. He couldn't just have one night of anonymity.
"I'm not taking pictures." He answered through gritted teeth, avoiding eye contact. "Sorry."
The lack of contact wasn't because she seemed to know who he was. No. It was because Bucky knew he would get lost in her deep dark eyes...
And there was no way he was going to get sucked into whatever this woman possessed. Because she wasn't the type of woman you took home for one night. And it wasn't because she would get attached. No, it would be him.
He sensed it. She could unravel things in his life that didn't need unraveling and he didn't need that.
He decided the best idea was to focus his attention elsewhere.
Big mistake.
Because now he was staring at her lips. At her full and soft-looking lips-
"Are-are you okay?" Cocking her head to the side in concern.
Before Bucky could form words to respond, she looked away when someone called for her. Dismissively she waved away at whoever called for her and turned back to him.
"Sorry-." She started sheepishly.
Bucky wasn't listening, his gaze moved up and down on her. She wore a long sleeve, but a tight and short white dress that outlined every inch of her curves.
"Hellooo?" waving a hand teasingly in front of his face, with a large smile on her soft features.
Bucky blinked stupidly and realized he had been caught. "I said no." he snapped, his cheeks warm all of a sudden.
That was a dick move and she realized it too because, for a mere second, her eyes widened in shock before they narrowed angrily at him. He cursed under his breath. If Natasha had been around, she would have slapped the back of his head.
It was one thing to be a "bad boy" and it was another thing to be impolite.
At least that's what Nat always said.
He swallowed his pride, ready to apologize until she mouthed the word. "Asshole."
If he hadn't been staring right at her lips, he would have missed it. Bucky's nostrils flared in irritation, but his voice was calm when he spoke. "Excuse me, what was that?" The music all of a sudden dissipated around him as he took a few steps toward her, standing mere inches.
Who the hell did this woman think she was?
He was close enough to notice the speck of gray in those amber eyes. He gave a slight shake of his head and reminded himself to not get sucked into them.
She stood her ground and raised an eyebrow at him. "What...was what?" she baited, chin raised.
Bucky gritted his teeth, he wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of riling him up, without knowing her name. And not when the whiskey from earlier began to set into his system.
She smirked shrewdly. "Not used to people calling you out on your shit huh?"
No. But he wasn't going to admit that.
"I'm not the one asking for a picture." he snapped.
You're supposed to not let her get to you, Barnes. He thought to himself.
"I hadn't realized asking for pictures was a mortal offense."
He opened his mouth ready to snap back but shut it as he felt a strong grip on the top of his shoulder. He jerked his attention toward the person. "What the-."
"Hey!!" Bucky rolled his eyes, recognizing the boisterous voice. It was Sam. He gave a quick look over his shoulder to find his best friend standing next to him with a winning smile. "What's going on?" looking between them, at the same time extending his hand out to introduce himself. "Sam." the smile not wavering from his features.
Bucky's new nemesis glanced between them. "You know him?" And cautiously shook Sam's hand.
Sam nodded and pretended to frown. "Unfortunately, yes I do." And side-eyed Bucky. "Don't mind him- he can get a bit testy from time to time. But he's all bark no bite."
If there was ever a time Bucky could kill someone with a look-it would be at that very moment. But it was just what the brunette needed to hear because a light genuine smile tugged on those full lips.
Bucky resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He had known Sam Wilson for more than 20 years and still hadn't figured out how Sam got people to open up to him so easily. It was a skill Bucky always envied.
He jolted out of his thoughts when Sam's hand gripped his shoulder again. "You just want a picture?" he asked. Bucky opened his mouth to protest but pressed his lips together at Sam's expression.
"Yeah." And pointed back to her group of friends. "At least one good picture before everyone gets completely wasted."
"Are you Including yourself in that statement?" Sam teased.
"Of course!"
Sam let out a short laugh and asked. "So... just one of all of you ladies together?"
"Yeah...?" she questioned warily. Her gaze flickered back and forth between both men.
"That's it? That's all you need?" Sam repeated with a hint of amusement in his voice. "Just a picture? Of all you? Together?"
"Yes," she said slowly. She cleared her throat. "Listen-I didn't know it was going to cause such an ordeal." Sarcasm dripped on her words. "I'll take note for next time-."
Sam quickly brought his hands up in defense. "No, no! It's not a big deal! It was just a little miscommunication-." And peeked back at Bucky.
Bucky shifted in his spot but didn't meet Sam's eyes. Because he knew his best friend was standing there with a smug smile and the moment they locked eyes, Sam would burst out laughing.
Great.
He was going to be hearing about this for a very long time. He groaned inwardly. He was going to need another fucking drink.
Sam graciously offered to take the picture and walked closer to the group. It didn't take but mere minutes for Sam to have the group relaxed and laughing. It was a good thing Sam's wife- Natasha- wasn't the jealous type or Bucky would've had to drag him away. He was tempted to do so when Sam promised to buy champagne in celebration. Bucky let out a short laugh, he didn't expect anything less from his best friend. Sam was a good person. It was a surprise when someone didn't like him.
He was busy trying to listen into Sam's conversation with his new group of friends, he hadn't realized someone was watching him. He shifted his gaze slightly away and locked his gaze with those doe eyes. For a few seconds, they stared at one another without blinking. By the expression on her face, Bucky had a feeling she was trying to figure out how he was friends with someone like Sam. She blinked and jolted out of her thoughts as another pretty brunette with large green eyes tapped on her shoulder.
He tilted his head slightly to his left to get a better view of her cinnamon color thighs and legs. She probably smelled like cinnamon too...
God damn. At any other time, he would have made a move, despite starting on the wrong foot. Because usually after a few sweet words, he'd have them eating out of the palm of his hand. But Bucky knew it wouldn't be the case with her. Especially with those soul-searching eyes.
How could someone have such soft-looking eyes and also make a dress look that good?
He must've been staring for far too long because he heard a loud snort behind him. Bucky flinched at the sound because he knew it was Sam.
"Shut up Samuel." he blurted before he could stop himself.
"I didn't say a word!" Sam exclaimed in an appalled tone. Bucky frowned over his shoulder as Sam blinked back innocently. Bucky knew better than to trust that look. He knew Sam was going to spend most of the night making jokes at Bucky's expense. "C'mon Barnes!" Sam said and gripped the top of Bucky's broad shoulder to give them a slight shake. "I want to see if we can move to this booth." nodding to the empty table a few feet away.
"Why? What the hell for?" Bucky demanded, taking a few steps, but thankful Sam didn't ask any more questions.
Sam snickered. "So, we can celebrate with our new friends! They're getting married."
"New friends?" Bucky repeated just as Sam patted him playfully on the back. "Jesus Sam. We don't know them-."
Sam interrupted. "Oh, calm down grandpa." Giving Bucky a playful shove. "I know you're upset she didn't want a picture with you, but that doesn't mean-"
Bucky stopped abruptly and glowered. "I don't care that she didn't-."
"Yes, you do." Sam said without missing a beat.
"No, I don't." Bucky griped. "Besides, what else am I supposed to think when everyone who comes near me asks for one?"
"Uh...that it's not all about you?" Bucky glared at the response, which made Sam laugh. "Aw c'mon man. Don't be a fucking spoilsport. It'll be fun." he pushed.
"What about Thor?"
"What about him? He won't mind." Sam answered. "He's single. I'm sure he can find someone in the group to chat up."
He let out a frustrated growl before moving again. There was no point trying to argue, Sam wasn't going to change his mind. Sam snickered behind him. Bucky glared over his shoulder. "I swear to god-."
"What? I didn't say a word."
But Bucky heard him snort back another laugh. "Sam-," he warned, coming to a halt.
Sam brought his hands up, his grin quickly disappearing. "Seriously dude? Keep walking." He stated in a serious tone.
But Bucky continued to stare, knowing Sam wasn't done. Finally, after a few seconds and with one hand on his left peck, Sam tossed his head back and cackled loudly. Bucky rolled his eyes. "Alright, alright. Yes, yes. Let it all out now." he stated sarcastically. The laughter subsided until Sam's gaze landed back on Bucky. He watched as Sam pressed his lips together to hold in the snickers. "You're an ass." But his cheeks felt a bit warm.
Sam wasn't listening, he gripped the top of Bucky's shoulder for balance and continued to laugh uncontrollably. "Oh man." he started through fits of giggles.
"It's not that funny Wilson."
"Oh yes, it is."
"Are you done?"
"Shit, my stomach hurts from laughing so hard." Slowly pressing the palm of his hand on it for effect. "I'm going to be telling this story for the next 20 years," he vowed.
"Not if I kill you first," Bucky muttered, throwing him daggers with his eyes.
"Whatever," Sam answered knowingly. "It takes too long to break in a new best friend. And you-" shoving a finger to his chest. "Are too stubborn and grumpy to make a new one. So, you're stuck with me." Looping an arm loosely around Bucky's broad shoulders. "Now- let's go find Thor so we can move tables and start having fun."
Bucky didn't say another word, instead, glanced over his shoulder in search of her. He didn't know why he felt the urge to do so, but his eyes were too busy trying to find her that he didn't question it. It didn't take but a few seconds to spot her laughing with one of her girlfriends, a glass of wine in hand. Her eyes flickered in his direction as if sensing him. He noticed the subtle hesitation as she brought the glass of wine up to her lips and looked away. He smirked in satisfaction as he looked away, thankful he had rattled her as well. Not that it mattered. It's not like he would be seeing her again after tonight.
Ex model, turned actor James “Bucky” Barnes never believed in that sort of thing -at least not until Julissa Castillo entered his life. Julissa was everything James never realized he wanted AND needed. When their lives become intertwined in ways they never thought possible- will these two have the courage to acknowledge they are worthy of love? Not just from each other-but themselves?
Characters: AUBucky Barnes x OC Latina character
Warnings: Mental health, drug use mention, alcohol use, future smut, angst, slow burn, domestic violence mention, fluff, language
Rating: NC-17
Present
Bucky Barnes weaved through the crowd of people, trying his best to look inconspicuous as he followed behind his best friend Sam Wilson. A few people glanced in their direction, some not giving him a second glance, others eyeing him suspiciously. He glanced back up at his best friend, who looked back at him with a knowing smirk.
"Yeah- they know it's you." Sam teased.
Bucky grimaced and gave Sam a slight shove indicating to keep walking. Usually, Bucky didn't mind the attention. After 10 years in the movie industry, he was used to or tolerated it. He knew it came with the territory and got good at detaching himself when he was out and around people. But he wasn't in the mood to use that tactic, especially since Sam tricked him into going to a dance club.
Bucky would have fought against it harder if it wasn't for the fact that he had been cooped up on location for a new movie for five months. It was the best work he'd ever done and was damn proud of it. And what better way to celebrate the last day of filming than Las Vegas?
Sam might have thought he tricked him into going to a club, but they both knew if Bucky didn't want to go, he would not have. Besides the club vibe wasn't so bad when you downed a half bottle of whiskey before leaving the hotel room. Slowly he started to feel the alcohol run through his bloodstream. He chugged the last bit of his whiskey from his glass and lifted his head, gaze bouncing from group to group as he tried to decide who would be the perfect diversion for the night.
But the thought quickly left when he walked past a group of people who curiously gazed in his direction. He was going to need more whiskey if this was how the rest of the night was going to go.
From the corner of his eye, he spotted two club bouncers in front of a section blocked off by velvet ropes. Sam stopped in front of them and spoke. One of the bouncers slightly nodded, unhooked the rope, and moved aside, making way for Sam and Bucky to walk through.
This part of the club was darker, making it harder to see, except for clusters of people on the dance floor, and around the more private tables/booths.
"There!" Sam yelled over the music and nodded toward a booth Bucky couldn't see.
He frowned. The only thing he spotted was a group of girls laughing and taking shots of alcohol around a table. He opened his mouth ready to argue but stopped when his trainer appeared past the group of girls.
"WILSON! BARNES!" the deep voice boomed, making a few people glare in his direction and others stare in awe. Even with the loud music, his presence was not something that could be missed. A few girls gawked at the 6 ft., beefy man with long golden locks and a charming smile. Bucky only smirked.
"Hey! THOR! My man!" Sam replied first.
"Wilson!!" Thor shouted back, accidentally bumping into a group of people. "Sorry! Sorry!" He apologized. "Shots on me when I come back!" He promised with his winning smile.
Bucky snorted. "Are you drunk?"
"I didn't start it. Blame Val." Pointing in the general direction of where Bucky assumed Thor's friend/business partner was waiting for them.
Bucky had been training on and off with Thor Odison for five years now. And in between that time, they had formed a friendship, much to Bucky's surprise.
It was right around the time Bucky decided he needed to get serious about his body and health. They had met by pure accident in line at the juice bar by Thor's gym. Before Bucky could say no, Thor had planned a one-on-one fitness plan. Bucky realized later that no one could truly say no to Thor.
And yes his name was Thor. According to him, his parents had been hippies who had fallen in love with the name after reading it in mythology. Bucky would not have believed the reasoning- until he met Thor's adoptive brother Loki. After that- Bucky never questioned Thor again.
"Yeah, yeah, because she twisted your arm," Sam said with a roll of their eyes.
Bucky nodded in agreement, ready to add to the teasing until he heard the happy screams and laughter to his right. He couldn't see much but the top of their heads but it was the same group of girls he noticed when they first stepped into the VIP lounge.
"We're over there!" Thor yelled.
"Now she has the right idea," Sam said with a nod.
Bucky followed Sam's gaze as the volume of the laughter increased. He glanced just in time to catch a petite woman with strawberry blonde hair take a step back from the group, bobbing along to the music as she clumsily climbed the booth seats and plopped right down as if it were a throne, completely oblivious to the staff and bouncers glaring in her direction.
She was cute. He could do cute- for the night. Maybe later he could -
Oh.
Okay... maybe not.
Bucky's lips curled into a wicked smile when a long-haired brunette approached the strawberry blonde and pressed a chaste kiss on her lips. The brunette pulled away and handed her a beer, with a beaming smile. Bucky squinted and noticed the white satchels across both women's chests.
After a few seconds, the words embroidered on the satchels became clear.
Bachelorette.
Oh, well it wasn't as if there weren't other women in the club. The night was young. He lifted his gaze and looked back into the crowd, trying to decide who would be worth his time. His thought was cut short when he heard more happy and drunk screams/laughter from the bachelorette table.
He was a few feet away now and curiosity got the best of him. Discreetly he watched the group move about like pieces of a puzzle. What the hell were they doing?
"Shit- sorry-!" Bucky apologized and bumped right into another body. Instinctively he grabbed their elbow to keep them from falling backward. He was so preoccupied with watching the group he almost forgot he was in the middle of the club.
"It's okay- it's pretty crowded here!" Or at least that's what it sounded like they said over the music.
Bucky was tempted to make a smart-ass remark but stopped as his gaze landed on the deepest, darkest amber color eyes he had ever seen.
"Whoa," he muttered under his breath, unable to look away. They were a mixture of warmth and cool deep that reminded him of autumn in New York. Bucky blinked out of the trance when she spoke again.
"Actually-." She started apprehensively before looking over her shoulder. "Would you mind taking a picture?" Those doe eyes gazing up at him.
And just like that- he jolted back to reality. His jaw twitched, as a feeling of annoyance bubbled in the pit of his stomach. Of course, this would happen. He couldn't just have one night of anonymity.
"I'm not taking pictures." He answered through gritted teeth, avoiding eye contact. "Sorry."
The lack of contact wasn't because she seemed to know who he was. No. It was because Bucky knew he would get lost in her deep dark eyes...
And there was no way he was going to get sucked into whatever this woman possessed. Because she wasn't the type of woman you took home for one night. And it wasn't because she would get attached. No, it would be him.
He sensed it. She could unravel things in his life that didn't need unraveling and he didn't need that.
He decided the best idea was to focus his attention elsewhere.
Big mistake.
Because now he was staring at her lips. At her full and soft-looking lips-
"Are-are you okay?" Cocking her head to the side in concern.
Before Bucky could form words to respond, she looked away when someone called for her. Dismissively she waved away at whoever called for her and turned back to him.
"Sorry-." She started sheepishly.
Bucky wasn't listening, his gaze moved up and down on her. She wore a long sleeve, but a tight and short white dress that outlined every inch of her curves.
"Hellooo?" waving a hand teasingly in front of his face, with a large smile on her soft features.
Bucky blinked stupidly and realized he had been caught. "I said no." he snapped, his cheeks warm all of a sudden.
That was a dick move and she realized it too because, for a mere second, her eyes widened in shock before they narrowed angrily at him. He cursed under his breath. If Natasha had been around, she would have slapped the back of his head.
It was one thing to be a "bad boy" and it was another thing to be impolite.
At least that's what Nat always said.
He swallowed his pride, ready to apologize until she mouthed the word. "Asshole."
If he hadn't been staring right at her lips, he would have missed it. Bucky's nostrils flared in irritation, but his voice was calm when he spoke. "Excuse me, what was that?" The music all of a sudden dissipated around him as he took a few steps toward her, standing mere inches.
Who the hell did this woman think she was?
He was close enough to notice the speck of gray in those amber eyes. He gave a slight shake of his head and reminded himself to not get sucked into them.
She stood her ground and raised an eyebrow at him. "What...was what?" she baited, chin raised.
Bucky gritted his teeth, he wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of riling him up, without knowing her name. And not when the whiskey from earlier began to set into his system.
She smirked shrewdly. "Not used to people calling you out on your shit huh?"
No. But he wasn't going to admit that.
"I'm not the one asking for a picture." he snapped.
You're supposed to not let her get to you, Barnes. He thought to himself.
"I hadn't realized asking for pictures was a mortal offense."
He opened his mouth ready to snap back but shut it as he felt a strong grip on the top of his shoulder. He jerked his attention toward the person. "What the-."
"Hey!!" Bucky rolled his eyes, recognizing the boisterous voice. It was Sam. He gave a quick look over his shoulder to find his best friend standing next to him with a winning smile. "What's going on?" looking between them, at the same time extending his hand out to introduce himself. "Sam." the smile not wavering from his features.
Bucky's new nemesis glanced between them. "You know him?" And cautiously shook Sam's hand.
Sam nodded and pretended to frown. "Unfortunately, yes I do." And side-eyed Bucky. "Don't mind him- he can get a bit testy from time to time. But he's all bark no bite."
If there was ever a time Bucky could kill someone with a look-it would be at that very moment. But it was just what the brunette needed to hear because a light genuine smile tugged on those full lips.
Bucky resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He had known Sam Wilson for more than 20 years and still hadn't figured out how Sam got people to open up to him so easily. It was a skill Bucky always envied.
He jolted out of his thoughts when Sam's hand gripped his shoulder again. "You just want a picture?" he asked. Bucky opened his mouth to protest but pressed his lips together at Sam's expression.
"Yeah." And pointed back to her group of friends. "At least one good picture before everyone gets completely wasted."
"Are you Including yourself in that statement?" Sam teased.
"Of course!"
Sam let out a short laugh and asked. "So... just one of all of you ladies together?"
"Yeah...?" she questioned warily. Her gaze flickered back and forth between both men.
"That's it? That's all you need?" Sam repeated with a hint of amusement in his voice. "Just a picture? Of all you? Together?"
"Yes," she said slowly. She cleared her throat. "Listen-I didn't know it was going to cause such an ordeal." Sarcasm dripped on her words. "I'll take note for next time-."
Sam quickly brought his hands up in defense. "No, no! It's not a big deal! It was just a little miscommunication-." And peeked back at Bucky.
Bucky shifted in his spot but didn't meet Sam's eyes. Because he knew his best friend was standing there with a smug smile and the moment they locked eyes, Sam would burst out laughing.
Great.
He was going to be hearing about this for a very long time. He groaned inwardly. He was going to need another fucking drink.
Sam graciously offered to take the picture and walked closer to the group. It didn't take but mere minutes for Sam to have the group relaxed and laughing. It was a good thing Sam's wife- Natasha- wasn't the jealous type or Bucky would've had to drag him away. He was tempted to do so when Sam promised to buy champagne in celebration. Bucky let out a short laugh, he didn't expect anything less from his best friend. Sam was a good person. It was a surprise when someone didn't like him.
He was busy trying to listen into Sam's conversation with his new group of friends, he hadn't realized someone was watching him. He shifted his gaze slightly away and locked his gaze with those doe eyes. For a few seconds, they stared at one another without blinking. By the expression on her face, Bucky had a feeling she was trying to figure out how he was friends with someone like Sam. She blinked and jolted out of her thoughts as another pretty brunette with large green eyes tapped on her shoulder.
He tilted his head slightly to his left to get a better view of her cinnamon color thighs and legs. She probably smelled like cinnamon too...
God damn. At any other time, he would have made a move, despite starting on the wrong foot. Because usually after a few sweet words, he'd have them eating out of the palm of his hand. But Bucky knew it wouldn't be the case with her. Especially with those soul-searching eyes.
How could someone have such soft-looking eyes and also make a dress look that good?
He must've been staring for far too long because he heard a loud snort behind him. Bucky flinched at the sound because he knew it was Sam.
"Shut up Samuel." he blurted before he could stop himself.
"I didn't say a word!" Sam exclaimed in an appalled tone. Bucky frowned over his shoulder as Sam blinked back innocently. Bucky knew better than to trust that look. He knew Sam was going to spend most of the night making jokes at Bucky's expense. "C'mon Barnes!" Sam said and gripped the top of Bucky's broad shoulder to give them a slight shake. "I want to see if we can move to this booth." nodding to the empty table a few feet away.
"Why? What the hell for?" Bucky demanded, taking a few steps, but thankful Sam didn't ask any more questions.
Sam snickered. "So, we can celebrate with our new friends! They're getting married."
"New friends?" Bucky repeated just as Sam patted him playfully on the back. "Jesus Sam. We don't know them-."
Sam interrupted. "Oh, calm down grandpa." Giving Bucky a playful shove. "I know you're upset she didn't want a picture with you, but that doesn't mean-"
Bucky stopped abruptly and glowered. "I don't care that she didn't-."
"Yes, you do." Sam said without missing a beat.
"No, I don't." Bucky griped. "Besides, what else am I supposed to think when everyone who comes near me asks for one?"
"Uh...that it's not all about you?" Bucky glared at the response, which made Sam laugh. "Aw c'mon man. Don't be a fucking spoilsport. It'll be fun." he pushed.
"What about Thor?"
"What about him? He won't mind." Sam answered. "He's single. I'm sure he can find someone in the group to chat up."
He let out a frustrated growl before moving again. There was no point trying to argue, Sam wasn't going to change his mind. Sam snickered behind him. Bucky glared over his shoulder. "I swear to god-."
"What? I didn't say a word."
But Bucky heard him snort back another laugh. "Sam-," he warned, coming to a halt.
Sam brought his hands up, his grin quickly disappearing. "Seriously dude? Keep walking." He stated in a serious tone.
But Bucky continued to stare, knowing Sam wasn't done. Finally, after a few seconds and with one hand on his left peck, Sam tossed his head back and cackled loudly. Bucky rolled his eyes. "Alright, alright. Yes, yes. Let it all out now." he stated sarcastically. The laughter subsided until Sam's gaze landed back on Bucky. He watched as Sam pressed his lips together to hold in the snickers. "You're an ass." But his cheeks felt a bit warm.
Sam wasn't listening, he gripped the top of Bucky's shoulder for balance and continued to laugh uncontrollably. "Oh man." he started through fits of giggles.
"It's not that funny Wilson."
"Oh yes, it is."
"Are you done?"
"Shit, my stomach hurts from laughing so hard." Slowly pressing the palm of his hand on it for effect. "I'm going to be telling this story for the next 20 years," he vowed.
"Not if I kill you first," Bucky muttered, throwing him daggers with his eyes.
"Whatever," Sam answered knowingly. "It takes too long to break in a new best friend. And you-" shoving a finger to his chest. "Are too stubborn and grumpy to make a new one. So, you're stuck with me." Looping an arm loosely around Bucky's broad shoulders. "Now- let's go find Thor so we can move tables and start having fun."
Bucky didn't say another word, instead, glanced over his shoulder in search of her. He didn't know why he felt the urge to do so, but his eyes were too busy trying to find her that he didn't question it. It didn't take but a few seconds to spot her laughing with one of her girlfriends, a glass of wine in hand. Her eyes flickered in his direction as if sensing him. He noticed the subtle hesitation as she brought the glass of wine up to her lips and looked away. He smirked in satisfaction as he looked away, thankful he had rattled her as well. Not that it mattered. It's not like he would be seeing her again after tonight.
Ex model, turned actor James “Bucky” Barnes never believed in that sort of thing -at least not until Julissa Castillo entered his life. Julissa was everything James never realized he wanted AND needed. When their lives become intertwined in ways they never thought possible- will these two have the courage to acknowledge they are worthy of love? Not just from each other-but themselves?
Characters: AUBucky Barnes x OC Latina character
Warnings: Mental health, drug use mention, alcohol use, future smut, angst, slow burn, domestic violence mention, fluff, language
Rating: NC-17
Present
Bucky Barnes weaved through the crowd of people, trying his best to look inconspicuous as he followed behind his best friend Sam Wilson. A few people glanced in their direction, some not giving him a second glance, others eyeing him suspiciously. He glanced back up at his best friend, who looked back at him with a knowing smirk.
"Yeah- they know it's you." Sam teased.
Bucky grimaced and gave Sam a slight shove indicating to keep walking. Usually, Bucky didn't mind the attention. After 10 years in the movie industry, he was used to or tolerated it. He knew it came with the territory and got good at detaching himself when he was out and around people. But he wasn't in the mood to use that tactic, especially since Sam tricked him into going to a dance club.
Bucky would have fought against it harder if it wasn't for the fact that he had been cooped up on location for a new movie for five months. It was the best work he'd ever done and was damn proud of it. And what better way to celebrate the last day of filming than Las Vegas?
Sam might have thought he tricked him into going to a club, but they both knew if Bucky didn't want to go, he would not have. Besides the club vibe wasn't so bad when you downed a half bottle of whiskey before leaving the hotel room. Slowly he started to feel the alcohol run through his bloodstream. He chugged the last bit of his whiskey from his glass and lifted his head, gaze bouncing from group to group as he tried to decide who would be the perfect diversion for the night.
But the thought quickly left when he walked past a group of people who curiously gazed in his direction. He was going to need more whiskey if this was how the rest of the night was going to go.
From the corner of his eye, he spotted two club bouncers in front of a section blocked off by velvet ropes. Sam stopped in front of them and spoke. One of the bouncers slightly nodded, unhooked the rope, and moved aside, making way for Sam and Bucky to walk through.
This part of the club was darker, making it harder to see, except for clusters of people on the dance floor, and around the more private tables/booths.
"There!" Sam yelled over the music and nodded toward a booth Bucky couldn't see.
He frowned. The only thing he spotted was a group of girls laughing and taking shots of alcohol around a table. He opened his mouth ready to argue but stopped when his trainer appeared past the group of girls.
"WILSON! BARNES!" the deep voice boomed, making a few people glare in his direction and others stare in awe. Even with the loud music, his presence was not something that could be missed. A few girls gawked at the 6 ft., beefy man with long golden locks and a charming smile. Bucky only smirked.
"Hey! THOR! My man!" Sam replied first.
"Wilson!!" Thor shouted back, accidentally bumping into a group of people. "Sorry! Sorry!" He apologized. "Shots on me when I come back!" He promised with his winning smile.
Bucky snorted. "Are you drunk?"
"I didn't start it. Blame Val." Pointing in the general direction of where Bucky assumed Thor's friend/business partner was waiting for them.
Bucky had been training on and off with Thor Odison for five years now. And in between that time, they had formed a friendship, much to Bucky's surprise.
It was right around the time Bucky decided he needed to get serious about his body and health. They had met by pure accident in line at the juice bar by Thor's gym. Before Bucky could say no, Thor had planned a one-on-one fitness plan. Bucky realized later that no one could truly say no to Thor.
And yes his name was Thor. According to him, his parents had been hippies who had fallen in love with the name after reading it in mythology. Bucky would not have believed the reasoning- until he met Thor's adoptive brother Loki. After that- Bucky never questioned Thor again.
"Yeah, yeah, because she twisted your arm," Sam said with a roll of their eyes.
Bucky nodded in agreement, ready to add to the teasing until he heard the happy screams and laughter to his right. He couldn't see much but the top of their heads but it was the same group of girls he noticed when they first stepped into the VIP lounge.
"We're over there!" Thor yelled.
"Now she has the right idea," Sam said with a nod.
Bucky followed Sam's gaze as the volume of the laughter increased. He glanced just in time to catch a petite woman with strawberry blonde hair take a step back from the group, bobbing along to the music as she clumsily climbed the booth seats and plopped right down as if it were a throne, completely oblivious to the staff and bouncers glaring in her direction.
She was cute. He could do cute- for the night. Maybe later he could -
Oh.
Okay... maybe not.
Bucky's lips curled into a wicked smile when a long-haired brunette approached the strawberry blonde and pressed a chaste kiss on her lips. The brunette pulled away and handed her a beer, with a beaming smile. Bucky squinted and noticed the white satchels across both women's chests.
After a few seconds, the words embroidered on the satchels became clear.
Bachelorette.
Oh, well it wasn't as if there weren't other women in the club. The night was young. He lifted his gaze and looked back into the crowd, trying to decide who would be worth his time. His thought was cut short when he heard more happy and drunk screams/laughter from the bachelorette table.
He was a few feet away now and curiosity got the best of him. Discreetly he watched the group move about like pieces of a puzzle. What the hell were they doing?
"Shit- sorry-!" Bucky apologized and bumped right into another body. Instinctively he grabbed their elbow to keep them from falling backward. He was so preoccupied with watching the group he almost forgot he was in the middle of the club.
"It's okay- it's pretty crowded here!" Or at least that's what it sounded like they said over the music.
Bucky was tempted to make a smart-ass remark but stopped as his gaze landed on the deepest, darkest amber color eyes he had ever seen.
"Whoa," he muttered under his breath, unable to look away. They were a mixture of warmth and cool deep that reminded him of autumn in New York. Bucky blinked out of the trance when she spoke again.
"Actually-." She started apprehensively before looking over her shoulder. "Would you mind taking a picture?" Those doe eyes gazing up at him.
And just like that- he jolted back to reality. His jaw twitched, as a feeling of annoyance bubbled in the pit of his stomach. Of course, this would happen. He couldn't just have one night of anonymity.
"I'm not taking pictures." He answered through gritted teeth, avoiding eye contact. "Sorry."
The lack of contact wasn't because she seemed to know who he was. No. It was because Bucky knew he would get lost in her deep dark eyes...
And there was no way he was going to get sucked into whatever this woman possessed. Because she wasn't the type of woman you took home for one night. And it wasn't because she would get attached. No, it would be him.
He sensed it. She could unravel things in his life that didn't need unraveling and he didn't need that.
He decided the best idea was to focus his attention elsewhere.
Big mistake.
Because now he was staring at her lips. At her full and soft-looking lips-
"Are-are you okay?" Cocking her head to the side in concern.
Before Bucky could form words to respond, she looked away when someone called for her. Dismissively she waved away at whoever called for her and turned back to him.
"Sorry-." She started sheepishly.
Bucky wasn't listening, his gaze moved up and down on her. She wore a long sleeve, but a tight and short white dress that outlined every inch of her curves.
"Hellooo?" waving a hand teasingly in front of his face, with a large smile on her soft features.
Bucky blinked stupidly and realized he had been caught. "I said no." he snapped, his cheeks warm all of a sudden.
That was a dick move and she realized it too because, for a mere second, her eyes widened in shock before they narrowed angrily at him. He cursed under his breath. If Natasha had been around, she would have slapped the back of his head.
It was one thing to be a "bad boy" and it was another thing to be impolite.
At least that's what Nat always said.
He swallowed his pride, ready to apologize until she mouthed the word. "Asshole."
If he hadn't been staring right at her lips, he would have missed it. Bucky's nostrils flared in irritation, but his voice was calm when he spoke. "Excuse me, what was that?" The music all of a sudden dissipated around him as he took a few steps toward her, standing mere inches.
Who the hell did this woman think she was?
He was close enough to notice the speck of gray in those amber eyes. He gave a slight shake of his head and reminded himself to not get sucked into them.
She stood her ground and raised an eyebrow at him. "What...was what?" she baited, chin raised.
Bucky gritted his teeth, he wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of riling him up, without knowing her name. And not when the whiskey from earlier began to set into his system.
She smirked shrewdly. "Not used to people calling you out on your shit huh?"
No. But he wasn't going to admit that.
"I'm not the one asking for a picture." he snapped.
You're supposed to not let her get to you, Barnes. He thought to himself.
"I hadn't realized asking for pictures was a mortal offense."
He opened his mouth ready to snap back but shut it as he felt a strong grip on the top of his shoulder. He jerked his attention toward the person. "What the-."
"Hey!!" Bucky rolled his eyes, recognizing the boisterous voice. It was Sam. He gave a quick look over his shoulder to find his best friend standing next to him with a winning smile. "What's going on?" looking between them, at the same time extending his hand out to introduce himself. "Sam." the smile not wavering from his features.
Bucky's new nemesis glanced between them. "You know him?" And cautiously shook Sam's hand.
Sam nodded and pretended to frown. "Unfortunately, yes I do." And side-eyed Bucky. "Don't mind him- he can get a bit testy from time to time. But he's all bark no bite."
If there was ever a time Bucky could kill someone with a look-it would be at that very moment. But it was just what the brunette needed to hear because a light genuine smile tugged on those full lips.
Bucky resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He had known Sam Wilson for more than 20 years and still hadn't figured out how Sam got people to open up to him so easily. It was a skill Bucky always envied.
He jolted out of his thoughts when Sam's hand gripped his shoulder again. "You just want a picture?" he asked. Bucky opened his mouth to protest but pressed his lips together at Sam's expression.
"Yeah." And pointed back to her group of friends. "At least one good picture before everyone gets completely wasted."
"Are you Including yourself in that statement?" Sam teased.
"Of course!"
Sam let out a short laugh and asked. "So... just one of all of you ladies together?"
"Yeah...?" she questioned warily. Her gaze flickered back and forth between both men.
"That's it? That's all you need?" Sam repeated with a hint of amusement in his voice. "Just a picture? Of all you? Together?"
"Yes," she said slowly. She cleared her throat. "Listen-I didn't know it was going to cause such an ordeal." Sarcasm dripped on her words. "I'll take note for next time-."
Sam quickly brought his hands up in defense. "No, no! It's not a big deal! It was just a little miscommunication-." And peeked back at Bucky.
Bucky shifted in his spot but didn't meet Sam's eyes. Because he knew his best friend was standing there with a smug smile and the moment they locked eyes, Sam would burst out laughing.
Great.
He was going to be hearing about this for a very long time. He groaned inwardly. He was going to need another fucking drink.
Sam graciously offered to take the picture and walked closer to the group. It didn't take but mere minutes for Sam to have the group relaxed and laughing. It was a good thing Sam's wife- Natasha- wasn't the jealous type or Bucky would've had to drag him away. He was tempted to do so when Sam promised to buy champagne in celebration. Bucky let out a short laugh, he didn't expect anything less from his best friend. Sam was a good person. It was a surprise when someone didn't like him.
He was busy trying to listen into Sam's conversation with his new group of friends, he hadn't realized someone was watching him. He shifted his gaze slightly away and locked his gaze with those doe eyes. For a few seconds, they stared at one another without blinking. By the expression on her face, Bucky had a feeling she was trying to figure out how he was friends with someone like Sam. She blinked and jolted out of her thoughts as another pretty brunette with large green eyes tapped on her shoulder.
He tilted his head slightly to his left to get a better view of her cinnamon color thighs and legs. She probably smelled like cinnamon too...
God damn. At any other time, he would have made a move, despite starting on the wrong foot. Because usually after a few sweet words, he'd have them eating out of the palm of his hand. But Bucky knew it wouldn't be the case with her. Especially with those soul-searching eyes.
How could someone have such soft-looking eyes and also make a dress look that good?
He must've been staring for far too long because he heard a loud snort behind him. Bucky flinched at the sound because he knew it was Sam.
"Shut up Samuel." he blurted before he could stop himself.
"I didn't say a word!" Sam exclaimed in an appalled tone. Bucky frowned over his shoulder as Sam blinked back innocently. Bucky knew better than to trust that look. He knew Sam was going to spend most of the night making jokes at Bucky's expense. "C'mon Barnes!" Sam said and gripped the top of Bucky's broad shoulder to give them a slight shake. "I want to see if we can move to this booth." nodding to the empty table a few feet away.
"Why? What the hell for?" Bucky demanded, taking a few steps, but thankful Sam didn't ask any more questions.
Sam snickered. "So, we can celebrate with our new friends! They're getting married."
"New friends?" Bucky repeated just as Sam patted him playfully on the back. "Jesus Sam. We don't know them-."
Sam interrupted. "Oh, calm down grandpa." Giving Bucky a playful shove. "I know you're upset she didn't want a picture with you, but that doesn't mean-"
Bucky stopped abruptly and glowered. "I don't care that she didn't-."
"Yes, you do." Sam said without missing a beat.
"No, I don't." Bucky griped. "Besides, what else am I supposed to think when everyone who comes near me asks for one?"
"Uh...that it's not all about you?" Bucky glared at the response, which made Sam laugh. "Aw c'mon man. Don't be a fucking spoilsport. It'll be fun." he pushed.
"What about Thor?"
"What about him? He won't mind." Sam answered. "He's single. I'm sure he can find someone in the group to chat up."
He let out a frustrated growl before moving again. There was no point trying to argue, Sam wasn't going to change his mind. Sam snickered behind him. Bucky glared over his shoulder. "I swear to god-."
"What? I didn't say a word."
But Bucky heard him snort back another laugh. "Sam-," he warned, coming to a halt.
Sam brought his hands up, his grin quickly disappearing. "Seriously dude? Keep walking." He stated in a serious tone.
But Bucky continued to stare, knowing Sam wasn't done. Finally, after a few seconds and with one hand on his left peck, Sam tossed his head back and cackled loudly. Bucky rolled his eyes. "Alright, alright. Yes, yes. Let it all out now." he stated sarcastically. The laughter subsided until Sam's gaze landed back on Bucky. He watched as Sam pressed his lips together to hold in the snickers. "You're an ass." But his cheeks felt a bit warm.
Sam wasn't listening, he gripped the top of Bucky's shoulder for balance and continued to laugh uncontrollably. "Oh man." he started through fits of giggles.
"It's not that funny Wilson."
"Oh yes, it is."
"Are you done?"
"Shit, my stomach hurts from laughing so hard." Slowly pressing the palm of his hand on it for effect. "I'm going to be telling this story for the next 20 years," he vowed.
"Not if I kill you first," Bucky muttered, throwing him daggers with his eyes.
"Whatever," Sam answered knowingly. "It takes too long to break in a new best friend. And you-" shoving a finger to his chest. "Are too stubborn and grumpy to make a new one. So, you're stuck with me." Looping an arm loosely around Bucky's broad shoulders. "Now- let's go find Thor so we can move tables and start having fun."
Bucky didn't say another word, instead, glanced over his shoulder in search of her. He didn't know why he felt the urge to do so, but his eyes were too busy trying to find her that he didn't question it. It didn't take but a few seconds to spot her laughing with one of her girlfriends, a glass of wine in hand. Her eyes flickered in his direction as if sensing him. He noticed the subtle hesitation as she brought the glass of wine up to her lips and looked away. He smirked in satisfaction as he looked away, thankful he had rattled her as well. Not that it mattered. It's not like he would be seeing her again after tonight.
Ex model, turned actor James “Bucky” Barnes never believed in that sort of thing -at least not until Julissa Castillo entered his life. Julissa was everything James never realized he wanted AND needed. When their lives become intertwined in ways they never thought possible- will these two have the courage to acknowledge they are worthy of love? Not just from each other-but themselves?
Characters: AUBucky Barnes x OC Latina character
Warnings: Mental health, drug use mention, alcohol use, future smut, angst, slow burn, domestic violence mention, fluff, language
Rating: NC-17
Present
Bucky Barnes weaved through the crowd of people, trying his best to look inconspicuous as he followed behind his best friend Sam Wilson. A few people glanced in their direction, some not giving him a second glance, others eyeing him suspiciously. He glanced back up at his best friend, who looked back at him with a knowing smirk.
"Yeah- they know it's you." Sam teased.
Bucky grimaced and gave Sam a slight shove indicating to keep walking. Usually, Bucky didn't mind the attention. After 10 years in the movie industry, he was used to or tolerated it. He knew it came with the territory and got good at detaching himself when he was out and around people. But he wasn't in the mood to use that tactic, especially since Sam tricked him into going to a dance club.
Bucky would have fought against it harder if it wasn't for the fact that he had been cooped up on location for a new movie for five months. It was the best work he'd ever done and was damn proud of it. And what better way to celebrate the last day of filming than Las Vegas?
Sam might have thought he tricked him into going to a club, but they both knew if Bucky didn't want to go, he would not have. Besides the club vibe wasn't so bad when you downed a half bottle of whiskey before leaving the hotel room. Slowly he started to feel the alcohol run through his bloodstream. He chugged the last bit of his whiskey from his glass and lifted his head, gaze bouncing from group to group as he tried to decide who would be the perfect diversion for the night.
But the thought quickly left when he walked past a group of people who curiously gazed in his direction. He was going to need more whiskey if this was how the rest of the night was going to go.
From the corner of his eye, he spotted two club bouncers in front of a section blocked off by velvet ropes. Sam stopped in front of them and spoke. One of the bouncers slightly nodded, unhooked the rope, and moved aside, making way for Sam and Bucky to walk through.
This part of the club was darker, making it harder to see, except for clusters of people on the dance floor, and around the more private tables/booths.
"There!" Sam yelled over the music and nodded toward a booth Bucky couldn't see.
He frowned. The only thing he spotted was a group of girls laughing and taking shots of alcohol around a table. He opened his mouth ready to argue but stopped when his trainer appeared past the group of girls.
"WILSON! BARNES!" the deep voice boomed, making a few people glare in his direction and others stare in awe. Even with the loud music, his presence was not something that could be missed. A few girls gawked at the 6 ft., beefy man with long golden locks and a charming smile. Bucky only smirked.
"Hey! THOR! My man!" Sam replied first.
"Wilson!!" Thor shouted back, accidentally bumping into a group of people. "Sorry! Sorry!" He apologized. "Shots on me when I come back!" He promised with his winning smile.
Bucky snorted. "Are you drunk?"
"I didn't start it. Blame Val." Pointing in the general direction of where Bucky assumed Thor's friend/business partner was waiting for them.
Bucky had been training on and off with Thor Odison for five years now. And in between that time, they had formed a friendship, much to Bucky's surprise.
It was right around the time Bucky decided he needed to get serious about his body and health. They had met by pure accident in line at the juice bar by Thor's gym. Before Bucky could say no, Thor had planned a one-on-one fitness plan. Bucky realized later that no one could truly say no to Thor.
And yes his name was Thor. According to him, his parents had been hippies who had fallen in love with the name after reading it in mythology. Bucky would not have believed the reasoning- until he met Thor's adoptive brother Loki. After that- Bucky never questioned Thor again.
"Yeah, yeah, because she twisted your arm," Sam said with a roll of their eyes.
Bucky nodded in agreement, ready to add to the teasing until he heard the happy screams and laughter to his right. He couldn't see much but the top of their heads but it was the same group of girls he noticed when they first stepped into the VIP lounge.
"We're over there!" Thor yelled.
"Now she has the right idea," Sam said with a nod.
Bucky followed Sam's gaze as the volume of the laughter increased. He glanced just in time to catch a petite woman with strawberry blonde hair take a step back from the group, bobbing along to the music as she clumsily climbed the booth seats and plopped right down as if it were a throne, completely oblivious to the staff and bouncers glaring in her direction.
She was cute. He could do cute- for the night. Maybe later he could -
Oh.
Okay... maybe not.
Bucky's lips curled into a wicked smile when a long-haired brunette approached the strawberry blonde and pressed a chaste kiss on her lips. The brunette pulled away and handed her a beer, with a beaming smile. Bucky squinted and noticed the white satchels across both women's chests.
After a few seconds, the words embroidered on the satchels became clear.
Bachelorette.
Oh, well it wasn't as if there weren't other women in the club. The night was young. He lifted his gaze and looked back into the crowd, trying to decide who would be worth his time. His thought was cut short when he heard more happy and drunk screams/laughter from the bachelorette table.
He was a few feet away now and curiosity got the best of him. Discreetly he watched the group move about like pieces of a puzzle. What the hell were they doing?
"Shit- sorry-!" Bucky apologized and bumped right into another body. Instinctively he grabbed their elbow to keep them from falling backward. He was so preoccupied with watching the group he almost forgot he was in the middle of the club.
"It's okay- it's pretty crowded here!" Or at least that's what it sounded like they said over the music.
Bucky was tempted to make a smart-ass remark but stopped as his gaze landed on the deepest, darkest amber color eyes he had ever seen.
"Whoa," he muttered under his breath, unable to look away. They were a mixture of warmth and cool deep that reminded him of autumn in New York. Bucky blinked out of the trance when she spoke again.
"Actually-." She started apprehensively before looking over her shoulder. "Would you mind taking a picture?" Those doe eyes gazing up at him.
And just like that- he jolted back to reality. His jaw twitched, as a feeling of annoyance bubbled in the pit of his stomach. Of course, this would happen. He couldn't just have one night of anonymity.
"I'm not taking pictures." He answered through gritted teeth, avoiding eye contact. "Sorry."
The lack of contact wasn't because she seemed to know who he was. No. It was because Bucky knew he would get lost in her deep dark eyes...
And there was no way he was going to get sucked into whatever this woman possessed. Because she wasn't the type of woman you took home for one night. And it wasn't because she would get attached. No, it would be him.
He sensed it. She could unravel things in his life that didn't need unraveling and he didn't need that.
He decided the best idea was to focus his attention elsewhere.
Big mistake.
Because now he was staring at her lips. At her full and soft-looking lips-
"Are-are you okay?" Cocking her head to the side in concern.
Before Bucky could form words to respond, she looked away when someone called for her. Dismissively she waved away at whoever called for her and turned back to him.
"Sorry-." She started sheepishly.
Bucky wasn't listening, his gaze moved up and down on her. She wore a long sleeve, but a tight and short white dress that outlined every inch of her curves.
"Hellooo?" waving a hand teasingly in front of his face, with a large smile on her soft features.
Bucky blinked stupidly and realized he had been caught. "I said no." he snapped, his cheeks warm all of a sudden.
That was a dick move and she realized it too because, for a mere second, her eyes widened in shock before they narrowed angrily at him. He cursed under his breath. If Natasha had been around, she would have slapped the back of his head.
It was one thing to be a "bad boy" and it was another thing to be impolite.
At least that's what Nat always said.
He swallowed his pride, ready to apologize until she mouthed the word. "Asshole."
If he hadn't been staring right at her lips, he would have missed it. Bucky's nostrils flared in irritation, but his voice was calm when he spoke. "Excuse me, what was that?" The music all of a sudden dissipated around him as he took a few steps toward her, standing mere inches.
Who the hell did this woman think she was?
He was close enough to notice the speck of gray in those amber eyes. He gave a slight shake of his head and reminded himself to not get sucked into them.
She stood her ground and raised an eyebrow at him. "What...was what?" she baited, chin raised.
Bucky gritted his teeth, he wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of riling him up, without knowing her name. And not when the whiskey from earlier began to set into his system.
She smirked shrewdly. "Not used to people calling you out on your shit huh?"
No. But he wasn't going to admit that.
"I'm not the one asking for a picture." he snapped.
You're supposed to not let her get to you, Barnes. He thought to himself.
"I hadn't realized asking for pictures was a mortal offense."
He opened his mouth ready to snap back but shut it as he felt a strong grip on the top of his shoulder. He jerked his attention toward the person. "What the-."
"Hey!!" Bucky rolled his eyes, recognizing the boisterous voice. It was Sam. He gave a quick look over his shoulder to find his best friend standing next to him with a winning smile. "What's going on?" looking between them, at the same time extending his hand out to introduce himself. "Sam." the smile not wavering from his features.
Bucky's new nemesis glanced between them. "You know him?" And cautiously shook Sam's hand.
Sam nodded and pretended to frown. "Unfortunately, yes I do." And side-eyed Bucky. "Don't mind him- he can get a bit testy from time to time. But he's all bark no bite."
If there was ever a time Bucky could kill someone with a look-it would be at that very moment. But it was just what the brunette needed to hear because a light genuine smile tugged on those full lips.
Bucky resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He had known Sam Wilson for more than 20 years and still hadn't figured out how Sam got people to open up to him so easily. It was a skill Bucky always envied.
He jolted out of his thoughts when Sam's hand gripped his shoulder again. "You just want a picture?" he asked. Bucky opened his mouth to protest but pressed his lips together at Sam's expression.
"Yeah." And pointed back to her group of friends. "At least one good picture before everyone gets completely wasted."
"Are you Including yourself in that statement?" Sam teased.
"Of course!"
Sam let out a short laugh and asked. "So... just one of all of you ladies together?"
"Yeah...?" she questioned warily. Her gaze flickered back and forth between both men.
"That's it? That's all you need?" Sam repeated with a hint of amusement in his voice. "Just a picture? Of all you? Together?"
"Yes," she said slowly. She cleared her throat. "Listen-I didn't know it was going to cause such an ordeal." Sarcasm dripped on her words. "I'll take note for next time-."
Sam quickly brought his hands up in defense. "No, no! It's not a big deal! It was just a little miscommunication-." And peeked back at Bucky.
Bucky shifted in his spot but didn't meet Sam's eyes. Because he knew his best friend was standing there with a smug smile and the moment they locked eyes, Sam would burst out laughing.
Great.
He was going to be hearing about this for a very long time. He groaned inwardly. He was going to need another fucking drink.
Sam graciously offered to take the picture and walked closer to the group. It didn't take but mere minutes for Sam to have the group relaxed and laughing. It was a good thing Sam's wife- Natasha- wasn't the jealous type or Bucky would've had to drag him away. He was tempted to do so when Sam promised to buy champagne in celebration. Bucky let out a short laugh, he didn't expect anything less from his best friend. Sam was a good person. It was a surprise when someone didn't like him.
He was busy trying to listen into Sam's conversation with his new group of friends, he hadn't realized someone was watching him. He shifted his gaze slightly away and locked his gaze with those doe eyes. For a few seconds, they stared at one another without blinking. By the expression on her face, Bucky had a feeling she was trying to figure out how he was friends with someone like Sam. She blinked and jolted out of her thoughts as another pretty brunette with large green eyes tapped on her shoulder.
He tilted his head slightly to his left to get a better view of her cinnamon color thighs and legs. She probably smelled like cinnamon too...
God damn. At any other time, he would have made a move, despite starting on the wrong foot. Because usually after a few sweet words, he'd have them eating out of the palm of his hand. But Bucky knew it wouldn't be the case with her. Especially with those soul-searching eyes.
How could someone have such soft-looking eyes and also make a dress look that good?
He must've been staring for far too long because he heard a loud snort behind him. Bucky flinched at the sound because he knew it was Sam.
"Shut up Samuel." he blurted before he could stop himself.
"I didn't say a word!" Sam exclaimed in an appalled tone. Bucky frowned over his shoulder as Sam blinked back innocently. Bucky knew better than to trust that look. He knew Sam was going to spend most of the night making jokes at Bucky's expense. "C'mon Barnes!" Sam said and gripped the top of Bucky's broad shoulder to give them a slight shake. "I want to see if we can move to this booth." nodding to the empty table a few feet away.
"Why? What the hell for?" Bucky demanded, taking a few steps, but thankful Sam didn't ask any more questions.
Sam snickered. "So, we can celebrate with our new friends! They're getting married."
"New friends?" Bucky repeated just as Sam patted him playfully on the back. "Jesus Sam. We don't know them-."
Sam interrupted. "Oh, calm down grandpa." Giving Bucky a playful shove. "I know you're upset she didn't want a picture with you, but that doesn't mean-"
Bucky stopped abruptly and glowered. "I don't care that she didn't-."
"Yes, you do." Sam said without missing a beat.
"No, I don't." Bucky griped. "Besides, what else am I supposed to think when everyone who comes near me asks for one?"
"Uh...that it's not all about you?" Bucky glared at the response, which made Sam laugh. "Aw c'mon man. Don't be a fucking spoilsport. It'll be fun." he pushed.
"What about Thor?"
"What about him? He won't mind." Sam answered. "He's single. I'm sure he can find someone in the group to chat up."
He let out a frustrated growl before moving again. There was no point trying to argue, Sam wasn't going to change his mind. Sam snickered behind him. Bucky glared over his shoulder. "I swear to god-."
"What? I didn't say a word."
But Bucky heard him snort back another laugh. "Sam-," he warned, coming to a halt.
Sam brought his hands up, his grin quickly disappearing. "Seriously dude? Keep walking." He stated in a serious tone.
But Bucky continued to stare, knowing Sam wasn't done. Finally, after a few seconds and with one hand on his left peck, Sam tossed his head back and cackled loudly. Bucky rolled his eyes. "Alright, alright. Yes, yes. Let it all out now." he stated sarcastically. The laughter subsided until Sam's gaze landed back on Bucky. He watched as Sam pressed his lips together to hold in the snickers. "You're an ass." But his cheeks felt a bit warm.
Sam wasn't listening, he gripped the top of Bucky's shoulder for balance and continued to laugh uncontrollably. "Oh man." he started through fits of giggles.
"It's not that funny Wilson."
"Oh yes, it is."
"Are you done?"
"Shit, my stomach hurts from laughing so hard." Slowly pressing the palm of his hand on it for effect. "I'm going to be telling this story for the next 20 years," he vowed.
"Not if I kill you first," Bucky muttered, throwing him daggers with his eyes.
"Whatever," Sam answered knowingly. "It takes too long to break in a new best friend. And you-" shoving a finger to his chest. "Are too stubborn and grumpy to make a new one. So, you're stuck with me." Looping an arm loosely around Bucky's broad shoulders. "Now- let's go find Thor so we can move tables and start having fun."
Bucky didn't say another word, instead, glanced over his shoulder in search of her. He didn't know why he felt the urge to do so, but his eyes were too busy trying to find her that he didn't question it. It didn't take but a few seconds to spot her laughing with one of her girlfriends, a glass of wine in hand. Her eyes flickered in his direction as if sensing him. He noticed the subtle hesitation as she brought the glass of wine up to her lips and looked away. He smirked in satisfaction as he looked away, thankful he had rattled her as well. Not that it mattered. It's not like he would be seeing her again after tonight.
Tags: Smut 18+, minors DNI, unprotected sex (wrap it pls), porn with (almost) no plot, penetrative sex, oral both receiving, grinding, fingering, just everything.
Warning: This was edited in a coffee shop with brightness at 5% while I looked over my shoulder every ten seconds, apologies for any mistakes.
Word count: 4.4k
Masterlist - Taglist
“Fuck…” you whispered, pressing your lips together and screwing your eyes shut, exhaling through your nose. Your index and middle finger collected the wetness of your folds and pressed on your clit as you felt the deliciously tense pressure building in your lower belly.
You could almost hear Bucky speaking your name in the distance as you fantasised about everything you wanted him to do to you. His voice sounded so clear, almost lifelike. At least you thought that was it until a soft knock at your door brought you back to reality. “Can I come in?” Barnes spoke from the other side of the door as you sat up in a hurry.
“Give me a second!” You shouted, running to the bathroom to wash your hands. You brushed down your hair with your fingertips and headed to the door, opening it just a bit. “Yes?”
“Is everything okay?” He asked curiously as he tried to look inside your room.
“Y-yes, of course!” You tried to stand as normally as possible, ignoring the slick that dampened your thighs. Thankfully your nightgown was long enough to cover it, and you could just hope he could not smell it.
“Okay… I just wanted to apologise to you in case I made you feel uncomfortable in the pool. I was just playing,” he looked down, embarrassed. He had been thinking about it all afternoon. The way you had been comfortably playing in the pool with Steve and Sam when he had decided to join. He had reached for you the same way he had seen his friends do, to put you on his shoulders for another round of chicken fight, but you had immediately recoiled away, growing stiff under his touch. He had immediately regretted not asking you if you were okay with him doing that, feeling increasingly worried that he had made you uncomfortable.
The truth, however, was completely different. You had recoiled from his touch because you simply could not bare it. Your crush on Bucky felt like the most childish evident thing in the world, and feeling him touch you simply made your skin burn with desire. Bucky’s gaze, touch, and even words had a ridiculous effect on you. You could not help but blush, look down, recoil, overwhelmed by the electricity it filled you with. It had added a weird misconception to your friendship, where Bucky had grown increasingly worried that you were somewhat scared of him, of who he used to be, of who he most likely still was. This misconception came naturally to the super soldier, especially when he compared your attitude with Sam and Steve, which was starkly different. You had no issue with them teasing you, touching you, looking at you.
“It won’t happen again,” Bucky added, worried by your silence. You, however, felt incapable of answering, feeling your heart shatter at the thought that you had made the man you sought to impress the most think that you were uncomfortable around him. You felt so stupid and selfish that in your attempt to protect yourself from heartbreak, you had caused him so much self-doubt. Your mind had never even stopped to think of this possibility, too sure that your weakness for him was obvious to everyone. Which was true for most part as everyone but Bucky noticed the root of your behaviour.
“N-no, I am sorry. It is not that,” you finally spoke up, stopping him before he tried to walk away.
“Listen, I get it. I probably wouldn’t want a cyborg serial killer as my friend. It’s really okay. I just wanted to apologise.” His statement made you sick to your stomach as you tried to find a way to tell him that it was not what he thought. He tried to walk away again, but you reached for his arm, holding him back.
“I promise that is not the case,” you tried to hold on to the eye contact as he looked at you with a sad expression, “I am sorry. I am just weird. It is not you.” That was the best explanation you could put together as his blue eyes scrutinised every one of your micro-expressions.
“Lying to me just makes it worse,” he tried to pull away, but you persisted, reaching for his other arm and holding him in front of you, exhaling in frustration as he was cornering you into an answer you would never give out voluntarily. The feeling of your fingers wrapped around his metal and flesh arm giving you goosebumps as you were not sure you had ever been in such close proximity for this long.
“I am not like that with Steve or Sam because they are not you, Bucky.” You looked away from him, hoping that would be enough of an answer.
“Exactly what I’m saying, I-“There was no way out of this. You needed to say it, or he would continue to use each one of your answers to support his argument.
“Come inside,” you interrupted him, pulling him into your room and closing the door behind him, letting the electricity at your fingertips simply take over your body.
“Liste-“
“No. You listen. I don’t move away from you or avoid you because you are some type of monster. I do it because you make me nervous because you are so handsome and cool, and I just cannot take it. I get flustered when you look at me and completely freeze under your touch. I keep my distance because I don’t want my crush on you to make you uncomfortable, and I don’t want to grow attached to those moments because I know you don’t see me that way.” You dropped your hands to your sides and stepped back, almost in fear he would be disgusted by your declaration. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest as the silence grew thick in the room.
Bucky stood there, lips parted and eyes wide as he was left speechless for the first time in years. You could not handle the silence, immediately understanding that this had been a mistake. “Anyway, now you know. So yeah, it is not you. It is literally me. I am the problem. I-“
“You could have come up with a more believable lie,” Bucky interrupted you, feeling disoriented by your declaration, wondering whether you thought lying to him would be any better than sharing the truth. Your lie felt particularly hurtful to him as you must have noticed that you were the only person he had tried to get closer to. You must have realised that the reason why he reached for you was exactly because he hoped you would lean into him and reciprocate his affection.
“I am not lying.” You answered, upset at the idea that he would think you would make all that up. It felt so ridiculous. If he could simply see himself as you saw him, it would be so easy for him to understand. He was everything, handsome, smart, sensible enough, and more loyal than anyone else. He was the whole package, and you were just you.
“Yes, of course. Just forget about it. I will just keep my distance,” he sighed disappointedly and turned around to walk away.
“Why is it easier for you to believe that I think you are a monster even though you are friends with all of my friends than believe that I like you? I like you, Bucky. I hate when you touch me because it feels like a current of electricity takes over my body. I need to pull away because if I don’t… if I don’t pull right away, I will just embarrass myself.” You were growing angry at this point, no longer worried about what he could think of your crush, simply irritated at the idea that he thought you were a liar.
“I-“his eyes softened, realising that you were not joking and that he should have listened to Steve when he told him why you pulled away.
“So yeah… you can do whatever you want with this information but don’t you dare call me a li-“Bucky didn’t want to hear any more of it, feeling his heart swell in his chest with relief and happiness, throwing himself to cup your face with his right hand and hold your waist with the left, unwilling to let you pull away this time. As his lips crashed against yours, there was, however, not a single fibre in your body willing to move away, deepening the kiss instead as you finally felt some relief from the months of burning tension. He tasted sweet, and welcoming, his lips a perfect fit for yours as the two of you kissed each other needy.
Bucky’s hands held tightly to your nightgown, respectfully staying on your waist but pulling you closer and closer onto him, scared to let you go. Your hands moved onto his chest, pulling on the black shirt. You stuttered, unsure if you could touch more, ask for more. The strip of your nightgown started to slip down your shoulder, letting the mount of your breast show. You broke the kiss as you both gasped, pressing your foreheads against each other. “Can I?” you whispered as you lowered your hands to the hem of his shirt.
“I don’t want you to think I just want… this,” he tried to pull away, but you held onto him. “Let’s go to dinner first, tomorrow night?” Bucky pulled the strip of your nightgown up, never lowering his gaze below your face. You could feel your core ache as the current situation had only increased the arousal that had already built. You wanted to be respectful, old school or whatever, but you were standing there with nothing else than a nightgown, dying to finally let him touch all of you.
“I don’t think that….” You slowly grabbed his hand from your cheek, guiding him down to your outer thigh. His touch was light, almost as if he feared you would break under it. He held his breath, debating with himself whether he should stop you even if he didn’t want to. His hand found the hem of your nightgown, and you let go of it, letting him decide what to do next. “I-I was… I was thinking of you before you came in…about your hands on me... you caught me right in the middle of it.”
Bucky could not help but exhale at the thought, imagining you touching yourself as you thought of him. He closed his eyes, hoping to ground himself, but his hand seemed to gain a life of its own as it moved under the nightgown, brushing against the goosebumps of your upper thigh until he reached your hip. He could stop himself here. He had already touched too much, done too much. He should have stopped there, but then you stepped forward, shifting his hand onto your ass and letting him feel you were not wearing any panties. A soft groan left his lips as he shook his head, still with his eyes shut. He couldn’t believe it, holding his breath, afraid he would wake up from a dream. His hard cock pressed uncomfortably against his jeans, pulsing at the mere idea of your naked body at his disposal, right in front of him.
“You can touch me… please… touch me,” you whispered, needy for him, standing perfectly still, scared any movement would scare him away.
Bucky had decades of training; he could make himself do anything, but that did not include stopping right now. His hand moved lower, squeezing your ass after spending days staring at it in that red bikini you loved to wear. He had never let himself look for too long, scared of the thoughts that would follow, scared that his need to touch you would grow stronger and stronger.
The naked skin of your ass was cold as he knitted it, moving his hand dangerously down and closer to your slit. The slick had pathetically spread down your thighs, causing him to feel your wetness before he even reached your core. Bucky finally opened his eyes at the feeling, locking his gaze with yours as he shook his head, smiling just so slightly. “I promise I will do everything I am supposed to, the dates, the gifts. I am sorry, but I can’t resist you right now.”
You nodded emphatically as your cheeks burned, “please… whatever you want.”
He lowered his head towards you, letting his lips grace yours once again as you stood on your tiptoes to close the distance. As the kiss grew deeper once again, both his hands found their way to your ass, gripping it and lifting you, inviting you to wrap your legs around his torso.
You did just that, taking control of the kiss as you sat slightly higher than him now, holding onto the back of his neck before biting his lip, causing him to smile against them. Bucky walked towards your bed with ease. Guess being a super soldier came to some advantage, after all, sitting on the bed and placing you on his lap. His hand moved to your waist, holding it just below your breasts as you whined your hips against his jeans, moaning on his lips at the friction. You could cum just from that cock-drunk even before he had touched you.
He seemed to enjoy the friction, too, lowering his hands to your hips and guiding your movements. Bucky felt like his trousers were about to burst as he groaned and bucked his hips against you, needy to take you already. “I-I am gonna cum….” you whispered as your lips left his, moaning as your forehead pressed against his. You moved your mouth down, kissing his jaw, cheeks, and neck. The straps of your nightgown dropped from the movement, letting your breasts show.
Bucky kept his metal hand on your hips, pressing you down, ensuring the most friction for the two of you, while his right moved to your breasts, playing with them as he admired them. The added sensation increasing the pleasure as you found yourself grinding down incessantly, chasing your own orgasm. He rubbed your nipple as you continued to kiss his neck, leaving a trail of hickeys everywhere you could. They would be gone by the end of the night. The quick healing would ensure that, making Bucky wish he could be the ordinary man he was before the war, just for one day.
“Just like that, doll. Make yourself cum. God, I will never take my hands off of you again.” His words were all you needed as you pressed your legs to his sides, climaxing on top of him as he moved his hand to your neck, admiring this sight he thought he would never see.
You came down from your high, lips parted and panting as Bucky watched you, sure he would never be able to stay away from you again. If he had known… if he had understood why you wouldn’t touch him. He would have told you exactly how he felt about you, why his touch lingered every time he could, why he tried his best to not be the gloomy man he usually was when you were around.
“We can stop,” he spoke, dropping his arms to his sides, eyes closed, trying to find that bit of self-control he had left.
“Do you want to?” You asked, knowing you were not done, knowing that you wanted him to enjoy himself just as much as you did. “I don’t want to stop.”
Bucky didn’t answer. He simply lifted you again and laid you on your bed. Your nightgown scrunched around your waist. He took a second to admire the image, reminiscing of all the times he had stopped himself from imagining this out of respect. He thought about all the times your body had brushed against his and how he had been thankful for every small touch, and now you were here in front of him, for him to enjoy.
You sat up, smiling at him, feeling okay under his gaze for the first time. He looked like he wanted you just as much as you desired him. He went to remove his shirt as you worked on his belt, noticing the sheer size of his erection, swallowing harshly. The excitement of the moment made you light-headed as the buzzing feeling of the orgasm had yet to leave you. You undid the button of his jeans and pulled them down, watching as his cock tented his boxers. The small darkened spot his pre-cum had created tightened your core. Your eyes ran up and down his body, worshipping every centimetre. You had seen Bucky in a swimming suit before, but nothing compared to having him fully bare in front of you.
Bucky looked down at you as you admired him, your hand reaching for his covered erection as your eyes moved up to him to watch his reaction as you massaged him. The super-soldier’s lips parted immediately as his chest rose dramatically. A soft groan escaped his lips, completely overwhelmed by the feeling.
You continued touching him until he closed his eyes, his head falling back as he tried to ground himself in the ecstasy. Your fingers found the band of his boxers, pulling them down and letting his erection spring free. “Fuck,” you whispered to yourself, feeling short of breath just at the sight. You moved closer to the edge of the bed as Bucky looked down at you. “Can I?” You whispered, meeting his eyes, lips plumped and ready to taste him.
Bucky simply nodded, pressing his lips together at the sight. His cock twitched in front of you, bringing your attention back to it. You pushed him a bit backwards so you could kneel in front of him and then wrapped your hand around his shaft as your lips moved to the head, licking the leaking pre-cum from the tip and causing a low groan to escape the super soldier’s lips.
His flesh hand reached for your head, caressing your hair as you took the tip in and slowly the rest. Bucky tried to keep his eyes open as the pleasure overtook him, he wanted to have this image saved for the rest of his life. You felt the wetness between your legs pool as you looked up to find him in adoration. Slowly, you took in his full length feeling the fullness of his cock push against the back of your throat.
“You are so beautiful,” Bucky whispered, causing you to hum around his length and forcing him to close his eyes. You started to bob your head back and forth, savouring the saltiness of his pre-cum as you tried your best to take him all. He held your hair in his hand, to keep it away from your face, pulling on it slightly and causing your cunt to clench around nothing.
He showered you in praise, alternating between groaning and letting you know how good you felt. His metal hand reached for your face for a second, almost as if to have to make sure you were real. “I am gonna cum if you keep on going, doll,” he whispered, almost as a warning to himself. “I want to feel you all if you’d let me.”
You moved away, nodding at him in agreement and stood back up. Bucky stepped out of his trousers and boxers as you laid back down on the bed. He immediately climbed on top of you, grazing your body with the tip of his cock, sending a shiver down your spine. He pressed a soft kiss on your lips, before giving you one of those rare big smiles he reserved just for you, “I can’t believe this. I want to stay here all week with you.”
You smiled back at him, your hands moving up to cup his face. “I promise we can do this as many times as you want. I’ve been dreaming of this for so long.”
Bucky kissed your nose, then your lips, your neck and then moved his attention to your chest, marking your breasts with small bites and kisses. He could have stayed right there for the rest of the night, playing with your tits, savouring the taste of your skin as he heard you moan and whimper under him. He loved the little sounds that would escape your lips. Even before tonight, the moans or groans you would do at times always made his heart skip a beat.
Bucky’s flesh hand moved down your body, settling between your legs. He sucked your skin between his teeth as his fingers felt the wetness of your folds. His fingers finally settled on your clit, pressing softly against it and causing your back to arch and your right hand to reach for his hair and pull it softly. You moaned, gasping for air as he continued, building that familiar tension in your lower stomach.
You gasped for air as Bucky suddenly stopped, lifting his head to meet your eyes. “Can I taste you?” The question felt so innocent, but the darkness of the soldier’s blue eyes showed his overwhelming need to do so.
“Y-yes,” you answered, your voice a bit shaken, overwhelmed by the absolute ecstasy of the moment. Bucky moved back down, sparing kisses down your skin till he reached your hips, pressing a soft kiss on it.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do this,” he whispered mostly to himself as if he had yet to come to grasp the reality of it all.
Bucky wasted no more time, spreading your legs with his arm and taking in the image of your wet folds. His lips kissed the inside of your thigh before his tongue ran down your cunt, letting his facial hair tickle your clit slightly.
His arm wrapped around your leg as he pulled you closer, dipping his face between your legs and savouring it all. His other hand searched for your folds, inserting two digits inside you as his tongue played with your clit. You couldn’t help but moan and beg him for more, a string of non-sensical pleads escaping your lips. He studied you as you moved under him, his free hand holding onto your hip to stop you from thrusting up. Once he found that spot that made you gasp for air, he stayed there, causing your eyes to water as you felt the coil in your stomach snap again. Your whole body grew warm as your limbs felt numb from the pleasure.
“Please, no more,” you tried to move away from his touch as you came down from your high, feeling the overstimulation pulling your nerves. Bucky obliged, moving back up your body and cleaning his face with his forearm, a big smile stamped on his lips again.
“You may just be my new favourite flavour.” You were almost fucked out, but you knew you wanted to feel him inside you. You wanted to feel him filling you up. You could only imagine the amazing stretch his big cock would provide you with.
Bucky laid by your side for a second as you caught your breath, completely cock drunk. You looked down to see his erection, still painfully hard. The soldier noticed your eyes, clearing his throat, embarrassed, “I can take care of this myself.”
You sat up in a quick move, looking at him with a shocked expression on your face, “Bucky, I want you to know I could never get enough of this.” You pushed his shoulder down, laying him flat on his back as you straddled him, one leg on each side as your dripping cunt floated mere centimetres above his cock.
Bucky looked in awe, his pupils big as his hands came to your hips. Your hand reached between your legs, placing his tip between your fold and grinding against it, forcing you to drop your head back as the climax had left you overly sensitive.
Slight desperation covered Bucky’s gaze as he bucked his hips up, but you lifted yourself slightly, causing him to grind onto nothing. You wanted to take your time, to savour the feeling of him splitting you in two. Your realigned yourself, moving one hand to Bucky’s chest for stability as you sunk just enough to let his tip in.
You inhaled, closing your eyes, as Bucky bit the inside of his cheek. Sure, he could have filled your cunt already if he didn’t focus. “Please, doll, let me feel you,” he pleaded with you, the hold on your hips growing tighter.
You complied immediately, sinking slowly and taking his whole cock inside you. You thanked every god for all the prelude to the sex as you could barely take it all in. Bucky’s eyes were screwed shut as he held onto you with bruising strength, hoping to ground himself.
You started to ride him, getting used to his size as the soldier’s thumb found your clit, drawing circles on it and causing your pussy to clench around his cock. “Doll, you are milking my cock. Please tell me I can fill you up,” Bucky could barely contain himself, thrusting up and forcing you to hold onto him for stability.
“Yes, always, please.” It’s all that came from your lips as you scratched his chest. Bucky took control of the movement, thrusting up and chasing his own orgasm. His eyes moved from your face to your bouncing tits, stopping to admire each love bite he had left behind. He could barely believe he had thought you hated him, that he had taken this long to realise he could touch you, all of you.
You took it all, moaning and begging him to fill you up, too cock drunk to put a proper sentence together. Bucky’s arms reached around your back, pulling you flush against his chest so he could fuck you even harder. You bit onto his shoulder as the overwhelming feeling of his cock inside you had you approaching another climax, his pelvis rubbing against your clit so perfectly. You moved your head up, pressing your forehead against his as your lips parted, gasping for air.
You came around his cock this time and felt Bucky’s hips stutter as you did. He grew massive inside you as he released, eyes closed as he whispered how he would never be able to keep his hands away from you again. You kissed his lips, reassuring him he would never have to.
Writing fanfic can be a lot like trying to make a recipe that you’ve seen all over social media. Sometimes, you try it and you kill it. Other times, not so much.
You see everyone is raving about how good this recipe is and how much they love this one particular ingredient (we’ll say cheese) that just really makes it amazing. So you think, I can do that, I’m great with cheese!
So, you start cooking. You measure everything just so. You even go a little hard on the cheese because, cheese. You are super proud of your dish. It looks delicious. You think it’s all kinds of tasty. It is, perhaps, the best thing you’ve ever made. You can’t wait to share it with everyone, because c’mon, everyone is raving about this thing and here it is! You made it! And it’s gonna be awesome.
You take it to a potluck with your friends and some people you don’t know. Your friends are like, yeah, this is great! Maybe a couple of people grab a bite, and one of them even tells you it’s pretty good. But there you are, at the end of the night, with your casserole dish still basically full and you’re wondering, what happened? You did everything right, so why didn’t everyone go crazy for it?
Posting a fic is very similar. You see the things people seem to love (a particular trope, for instance) and you give it a try. You think you’ve got all the elements and you put it together perfectly and you put it out there. And then you don’t get the response you were hoping for or expecting.
But you used (1) one beloved trope + (2) two characters + a dash of canon + witty banter! Maybe you even sprinkled in a liberal helping of a fandom favorite dynamic. What happened?
Honestly, it’s kind of devastating when a fic flops. You wonder what you did wrong. What did you miss? You’ve seen other people do it and readers just ate it up, so it must be you, right? Are you not a good cook (writer)? Are people tired of trying your dishes (reading your fics)?
Yes, you should always cook (write) for yourself first. But when you decide to share something with other people who have similar tastes/interests, that’s an act of bravery. You’re putting yourself in a vulnerable position by putting this little piece of your heart, of something you love, out for people to see. Of course you want them to like it. You want them to think it’s a tasty treat (whether it be for your tastebuds or eyeballs). You want that pat on the back (kudo). It’s not greedy or inappropriate to crave validation and support.
Writing is a creative, personal process. A lot of writers are frothy little balls of anxiety.
If you’re a fan of someone or their work, let them know. Yes, comments are like crack and everyone wants them, but an emoji or a kudo is extremely gratifying as well. Reblog the snippets you enjoy. As a fan of something showing the creators you appreciate the time and effort and parts of their heart that they put into what they do matters so, so much.
Summary: There are rules for friends with benefits, and you’ve broken the most important one: don’t fall in love with him.
Warnings: strictly 18+ only, mention of sex & orgasms, them being naked together, teeny tiny angst (happy ending), swearing
Word count: 1.5k (cause I have no chill and can’t write short fics)
Dividers by @maysdigitalarts
Masterlist | Ask me anything! | Library
You could feel the warmth radiating from Bucky’s naked body as his light snores filled the room. He had fallen asleep almost immediately after your latest hookup and was now nuzzled against your back, his arm loosely around your middle. He had fallen asleep on the other side of the bed, but as soon as the snores stared, his body sought out the warmth of yours. You, however, remained wide awake, your mind too active to fall into the serenity that came with sleep.
The sheets and pillowcases smelled like him, musky, sweet like honey and a hint of his apple scented shampoo. When he messaged you earlier that night, you didn’t hesitate in agreeing to come over. You never did. If Bucky asked, you were there, regardless of if it were for a booty call, a shoulder to cry on or anything in between.
Because any type of relationship with Bucky, no matter how casual, was better than nothing. Or at least, that’s what you used to think.
Once you got a taste of the feeling of his lips on yours and the wave of euphoria as everything fell into its rightful place that first time with him, you couldn’t return to a world where the only association you had with him was purely platonic. Once you crossed that line, you only became more enchanted by him, seeking out as much of him as he was willing to give to you.
Nevertheless, your heart ached for the closeness and intimacy that came with a genuine relationship, the affection and adoration shown in every doting gaze and loving embrace. Not the hurried touches of a casual affair, which lingered on your skin, leaving you desperate and craving more.
There were times during sex, when Bucky’s steel blue eyes locked with yours, fingers intertwining as you simultaneously fell over the edge, kissing you with a tenderness you hoped was reserved solely for you, that you could pretend, just for a fleeting moment, the connection you shared meant just as much to him as it did to you.
Because to you, he was everything.
You weren’t stupid. You knew there were other women, plenty of other women, who Bucky had every right to see, because as you had to keep reminding yourself, you weren’t together. This was a friends with benefits arrangement you had both agreed to - no strings attached, no feelings involved, just some stress relieving, toe curling orgasms.
But as pathetic, and cliche, as it sounded, you had been in love with James Buchanan Barnes since you first met him when you were paired up for a college assignment. The first day he wore that cocky grin of his like a badge of honour, winked at anything with legs and teased you relentlessly. But you came to know that behind his breathtakingly gorgeous features and overconfident facade, was an intelligent mind, a generous heart and a very nerdy side that he revealed to no one but you.
Tonight, you had come too close to letting your feelings slip, almost saying those three little words as ecstasy overtook your body for the third time that night, barely able to control the sounds falling from your lips. You were positive, when he would inevitably wake up in about an hour, placing enticing kisses down your spine, hands running over every inch of your exposed skin, wanting more from you than he ever asked of anyone else, you wouldn’t have the self-control to stop yourself from revealing how deeply you cared for him.
So you knew with the rise of the sun in the morning, when your heart would shatter all over again leaving his apartment, that was it. You had to end it. Because as much as he was everything to you, you were simply casual sex to him. A tool used to reach his own pleasure and you could no longer continue to subject yourself to the torture of longing for more when your feelings weren’t reciprocated.
The scales you used to weigh between your yearning desire to be with him in any capacity and guarding yourself from any further pain, had now tipped in favour of protecting your fragile heart.
Needing air, and a moment to yourself to contemplate what the fuck you were going to do from here, you attempted to wriggle out of Bucky’s tight hold.
“Where you going?” Bucky mumbled as he sensed your movement, his strong arms tightening around your waist, pulling you back into him, making leaving his bed essentially impossible. It was acts like this that confused you. No other woman spent the night, he was more of the hit it and quit it type, preferring to sleep alone sprawled out on his bed. But here he was, allowing you the comfort of his memory foam mattress, the privilege of hearing his hoarse sleepy voice, whining at the loss of your touch and pulling you back into his bare body like a needy boyfriend.
“James, I can’t do this anymore.” It was a whispered confession, but in the otherwise pitch black and silent room you might as well have screamed it.
Bucky reluctantly let go of you and sat upright, his back against the pillows resting on the headboard. Your eyes were already adjusted to the darkness and you could see he was now clearly wide awake - he knew you never used his given name unless it was serious.
“Why?” Was all he asked as he fiddled with his fingers laying in his lap.
There were a thousand reasons why this had always been a terrible idea, and really, any one of them would be sufficient a reason to put an end to the arrangement. Perhaps the largest being that you had somewhat deceived him when agreeing to friends with benefits - Bucky, however jokingly, told you not to fall in love with him. And you made that promise despite already being completely head over heels.
But gazing into his eyes now, seeing how despondent he looked despite your ever insistence that he didn’t feel the same way, how he was doing absolutely nothing to hide his disappointment at your admission, might have been the only reason you needed to stay.
“I can’t settle for a few sporadic nights like this anymore. Maybe it’s selfish, and maybe I’m ruining my only opportunity to be with you…” You paused, both to muster the courage you needed to speak your next words and to compel the tears collecting at the corners of your eyes not to fall. “But I want all my nights to be with you. All my mornings too. I want the lazy Sunday afternoons, talks at 3am while staring at the stars, making breakfast together before work on weekdays, sleep-ins on weekends followed by slow morning sex, midday naps cuddled up beside you on the couch, movie nights where we eat as much junk food as our bodies can handle. I know it’s not what we agreed to, but I don’t want to be just friends anymore. I don’t think I can be just friends with you.”
Bucky looked at you with complete disbelief, utter shock, and you weren’t sure whether to perceive it as a positive or negative.
Your chest tightened as the silence dragged on. Even though it was only seconds, it seemed like a lifetime - possibly because your entire relationship with the most important person in your life was on the line. This was one of those defining moments where you were met with a distinct fork in the road - Bucky either felt the same or he didn’t, and your life wouldn’t be the same regardless of which direction you were forced down.
“Can you please say something? I’d rather you yell at me than complete silence.” You pleaded, wanting him to put an end to your suffering.
“Yell at you?” Bucky shuffled forward on the bed and cupped your face tenderly. “Doll…” He beamed and shook his head incredulously. Unable to articulate his feelings coherently with words, he instead leaned in and gently placed his lips on yours.
You had kissed him plenty of times before, but it had never felt this loving and filled with devotion. There had always been a transactional essence to you hooking up - you both gained something out of it which you could never achieve by yourself, so you always tried your best to restrain the eagerness and fondness of your kisses in attempts to hide your true feelings.
But right now, neither of you held back.
It didn’t take long for the kiss to escalate, you climbed onto his lap, positioning yourself on his thick thighs, as he encircled you in his arms, hands roaming up and down your bare back as yours tugged on his hair.
Bucky pulled away once you both needed oxygen, even though you would have been perfectly happy to suffocate if it meant his lips were the last thing you felt. He rested his forehead on yours, his piercing blue eyes searched your face like you were all he ever wanted to look at.
“I know you told me no to fall in love with you, Buck-” You started but he smirked cheekily and pressed his lips softly to yours for a short moment to stop you.
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