Instagram Story - Long Time No See (Part 1).
Posted at the_life_of_bucky_barnes Instagram on April 14th (available during 24h)
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@buckybarnesrants
Instagram Story - Long Time No See (Part 1).
Posted at the_life_of_bucky_barnes Instagram on April 14th (available during 24h)
Just a little glimpse into my morning routine:
Step 1: Wake up in my filth-strewn murderbarn.
Step 2. Straddle my floor-gun.
Step 3. Look at my picture of Steve Rogers.
Step 4. S U F F E R
I know there’s tons of talk about Bucky either being a grumpy cat or a pitbull, and Sebastian Stan even said something about him being a wolf, but I TOTALLY think he’s a three-legged Caucasian Shepherd. Especially post-CACW Bucky, who is gigantic and fuzzy.
Caucasian Shepherds are fucking HUGE, are common in Russia, and can fight BEARS! They’re super trainable and can potentially be really compliant, but can also be really paranoid if not properly socialized.
Petition for Bucky to have a Caucasian Shepherd as an inexplicably gigantic PSTD Therapy Dog!!
HEY @spitandvinegar DID SOMEONE SAY BUFF LESBIAN STEVE ROGERS
JESUS CHRISTING HECK
@silentwalrus1 HOW ARE YOU SO MUCH
(btw buff butch s.g. rogers makes a li’l cameo in my story “except it abide in the vine”)
(1/2) So I’ve been avidly awaiting your sbb stories, and I really love the premise of every tree that is pleasant-- it’s so painful and sci-fi, and you deliver that excellently. but I was kind of wondering how you decided to have Bucky be the one who doesn’t want his memories back?
(2/2) I’ve always sort of read the characters in the opposite direction, that Bucky is the one who adapts to new situations, constantly and to a tragic fault that Hydra exploits, and Steve is the one fundamentally stuck in the past.
Hi there! Fun question! So this was my thought process: in Civil War Bucky seems to be just dripping with guilt and self-loathing, and his memories are a source of a ton of pain for him. He hates what he’s done, he hates what he’s turned into, and he doesn’t feel safe inside his own head. From what I’ve seen of the comics he also completely idolizes Steve/thinks of him as this sort of glowing moral beacon that he can’t live up to, and being around Steve/thinking about him is also sort of painful for Bucky in a lot of ways. So I think that the idea of erasing himself and becoming a single unit with Steve, who he trusts more than he trusts himself, would be very seductive for him, and he would instinctively resist having to deal with being just himself again, even if he doesn’t exactly remember why.
Steve, on the other hand, does seem to get a lot of comfort and pleasure out of his relationship with Bucky, and out of having that shared past with Bucky. Like, in Civil War when Bucky is all “you wore shoes once” the dude practically bursts into tears of joy. That whole movie is basically Steve running after Bucky going HI HEY IT’S ME REMEMBER ME HEY COME BACK I’VE MADE YOU THIS FRIENDSHIP BRACELET AND ALSO BROKEN SEVENTEEN INTERNATIONAL LAWS FOR YOU while Bucky’s like I HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE AND ALSO I DON’T DESERVE YOUR LOVE PLEASE STOP CHASING ME STRANGER WHOSE PICTURE I DEFINITELY DON’T CARRY AROUND IN MY WALLET.
(some documentary footage of their relationship for you.)
So feral Steve is very motivated to be separated and remember everything, because Bucky is his love object, and more memories/separate identities equals MOAR BUCKY, HOORAY, BUCKY, THAT’S MY FAVORITE THING. Which is the exact opposite of what Bucky wants.
Captain America: Civil War – the We Are All Rational Adults Version
(The more I think about Civil War the more annoyed I get)
Tony: okay so these Accords
Tony: obviously the fact we’ve only just heard of them and they’re being signed in 3 days and they’re fatter than all of us is some shit
Steve: language
Tony: but the fact is, we can’t just run around wherever we want punching people that we personally decide are bad guys
Tony: countries have the right to make their own laws and we can’t just ignore them because we’re really cool
Tony: (though we are)
Tony: anyway the fact is nobody actually voted for you to be President of Avengerdonia, steve, so we should like, obey the people we elected, like everyone else in the world does, this is how democracy works
Sam: i would vote for steve
Steve: i will be honest here
Steve: i have very much enjoyed being in charge with no restrictions
Steve: it has been very efficient and we’ve saved loads of lives (like loads)
Steve: however as i am not in fact a massive jerkhole dictator and i do believe in democracy
Steve: you are of course right we should get the nod from the government before we crash in anywhere to save the day, as long as that can be done quickly and effectively, and won’t mean that i’m completely banned from saving people
Steve: (because i have zero impulse control when it comes to saving people i just do it)
Tony: oh we know
Sam: everyone else would vote for steve too right natasha you’d vote for steve
Natasha: no comment
Steve: i mean there are a couple of other things i want to talk about in these papers
Wanda: like the fact we’re not actually accountable for the actions of all supervillains everywhere?
Steve: yeah and the fact that it doesn’t specify that we can’t be thrown in a monstrous sea-jail without a trial or lawyers if we damage property while defending ourselves
Tony: wow steve we’re (mostly) US citizens do you really think we need to specify that?
Steve: i’ve read about ross
Steve: yes we do
Tony: okay then, how about we sit here and hash out our list of amendments and caveats, which they really should have consulted us about more than three days before they meet to sign this document that controls our lives, and we take our improved accords to vienna and talk about it there?
Steve: that sounds really sensible
Sam: wanda you vote for steve too right
Bucky: i do not vote for steve. i vote for anyone except steve. i vote for tony stank’s left shoe, because it is far less reckless than steve
Sam: dude you’re not even in this part of the movie yet
Bucky: i showed up early just to say don’t vote for steve
Tony: holy shit it’s the winter soldier
Bucky: ooooh steve doesn’t like that kind of language you know
Steve: go away and wait for your appropriate plot hook barnes what is this
fin
This is hilarious. And accurate. Wouldn’t it have been nice if they’d actually discussed the Accords? But the problem is …
James Buchanan Bai
1 2 3 4 5
for Except it Abide in the Vine by @spitandvinegar
BUCKY BAI, THE BABELIEST BUCK
how could I hurt you?
heyyyyy... can i ask to learn more about steve girl and Bucky-becca? the sapphic couple melt my heart
Dude I’m so sorry I got really excited and basically rewrote all of TFA plus some, please forgive please excuse this is so long and full of lady-hijinks
Keep reading
u cant tell me peggy n steve didnt ask bucky to judge which one of them has better tits
may this forever cross my dash, amen
In honor of v-day
For @silentwalrus1 , ANG Steve and Bucky sexting, incorporating a couple of very sensual lines from @pornhubcommentsonvalentines . I regret nothing.
Keep reading
Civil war?
confy buck buck
prompt for the: @buckybarnesweek2022 "warm"
New markers and some old pens. :3
Identical Mauve Carnations (Series: I Never Bloomed ‘till I Met You)
Fic by Metalbvcky | Art by roadsidelunatic
The wonderful art piece was created by none of than the incredible Leo, my partner for the @bangyourselfminibang! I had a blast writing this, and it's been a great first bang experience for me <3
Pairings: Steve/Bucky, Bucky/Bucky Word/Chapter Count: 3,615 (1/1) Tags: Modern AU, Married Steve/Bucky, Dom/Sub, Self-cest, Fluff & Smut, Dream Sequence, Dom/Top!Bucky, Sub/Bottom!James (see the full list of tags on AO3)
💮 Summary 💮
It felt like hours since Bucky had been waiting for Steve to come home from work. He paced around the whole house, without anything to do now that his tasks of the day were complete. He couldn't sit still and focus, not when his mind was occupied by thoughts of his dom giving him a reward. He was overdue for a nice orgasm after being denied for a week. He'd spun around to start another lap, only to bump into an enormous, solid chest. The first thing to catch Bucky’s eye was the shining hunk of metal, silver plates aligned on what looked to be a prosthetic arm, a red star stamped on the bicep. God, it was massive, but those shoulders were almost as large Bucky flicked his gaze downward, to metal fingers clenched into a fist, then back up at the man who was clearly not his husband. “What the hell?” The voice was familiar, too familiar, yet it was— it was him.
Read on AO3
Bucky: Я хочу, чтобы твой цветок тыквы вошел в мою любовную шляпку. Я хочу, чтобы мою особенную дыню съели. Я хочу, чтобы твой друг-цуккини был у меня в саду. (Translation: I want your squash blossom to enter my love bonnet. I want my special cantaloupe eaten. I want your zucchini friend in my garden.)
Steve: Omg it's so hot when you talk dirty to me in Russian.
Bucky: Yuss. I a sexy boi.
(Lines somewhat borrowed from "Scents and Sensibility", by galwednesday, silentwalrus, and skellerbvvt. A truly hilarious and wonderful fic.
Original quote:
"And his objective is certain. He’s sure he wants it, whatever it is. He wants Steve’s squash blossom to enter his love bonnet. He wants his special cantaloupe eaten. He wants Steve’s zucchini friend in his garden, and sex talk might not be his strong suit but he knows what he’s asking for.")
(P.S. Sorry for google translate.)
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