…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment
likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post
the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like.
“Quil? Are you okay, buddy?” you asked, taking a cautious step towards your friend.
Out of nowhere, he’d begun to sweat… and he was looking over his shoulder repeatedly like something was coming for him. He’d been on edge since Embry had gone to the dark side with Jake, but nothing like this.
Not the best day to hike to the top of the cliffs, apparently.
“It’s hot… everything is so hot.” Quil slapped his hand to his own forehead.
“Quil, it’s November. I’m freezing,” you said, taking another step. You kind of wanted to get away from the edge of this cliff. Quil was inbetween you and the treeline, and he was freaking you out.
“Stay over there, I think I might throw up.”
“I’m just gunna go around you, okay? We need to go back home. My mom can help you.”
“Something is wrong, I feel…” but he never finished his sentence, because your closest friend exploded out of his skin, his furry shoulder hitting you with unnatural strength, sending you flying back, clearing the cliff and falling backwards towards the water. Hands outstretched trying to grab onto nothing. Your screaming was the only thing you heard until your back slammed against the water’s surface. You stayed conscious, but dizzy. It felt like the freezing water had sunk through your skin and straight to the bone.
You never should have never agreed to come on this hike, and now it seemed like it would kill you.
a week ago...
You and Quil stood in front of the giant chip display, arms already filled with drinks and sweets, bickering about which bag of chips would go best with the candy you got.
"It's not that important," you sighed, "just grab whatever you want."
Your surrender made Quil smile as he grabbed his favourite kind. Someone laughed from behind the two of you, and you turned to see Paul Lahote with his back to you.
"You're not gunna let your lady pick?" he asked, turning towards you.
He lost his grin when he saw you. You'd heard of him, but going to Forks high school you never met Quil's school mates, except for Jacob and Embry, of course. He was beautiful. You felt something in your stomach lurch, and you had a weird instinct to reach out for him. It felt like he marked your heart with his name. It felt like the world revolved around him.
It felt like nausea.
You were gunna throw up.
Handing your stuff to Quil awkwardly but quickly, you ran down the isle and out of the store. You rushed to the side of the store and dry heaved for a minute before leaning your head against the brick wall and taking a breath.
That was something.
That was...
It was...
Really fucking embarrassing.
Quil found you quickly, snacks obviously abandoned in the store. He took a look at your flushed face, and realizing you were fine he started to laugh. A real laugh, one that you hadn't heard in a while.
"What was that?" he asked, clutching his stomach. "You see a hot guy and run for the horizon? No wonder you're single."
"You think he's hot?"
"I'm not blind," he said, shrugging. "If I looked like that I'd be confident, is what I'm saying."
A rustling bag was getting louder, and Quil went totally silent. Paul was walking towards you guys, his cocky attitude replaced with a different look. Concern, maybe? Second-hand embarrassment, perhaps?
"I got your stuff," he said, holding the bag out to you. Quil averted his eyes, looking at the ground rather than to see his face. Paul was part of some cult that was stealing Quil's friends, or something. He never really wanted to talk about them.
"You didn't have to do that," you said, reaching for your wallet.
He stopped you, and gave you a small smile. "I wanted to make sure you were okay anyways. See you around."
But you didn't really see him around much after that.
Back in the freezing water, you fought for your life, but it didn’t feel like anything. The numbness had taken over your body. You managed to kick your way to the surface, and took a deep breath of air. The water was still, but your arms were so numb that you didn’t know if you would even make it to the beach. It was so close, but instead you paddled to a rock, and clung to it.
There was a splash close to you, followed by someone swimming up to you. Your vision was still blurry, but you would recognize Paul Lahote anywhere.
“I’m cold,” you stuttered. His skin nearly burnt yours as he wrapped an arm around you, effortlessly swimming and guiding you safely. “Did you see Quil?” You weren’t sure he could understand you through the stuttering.
When the water was shallow enough, Paul stood up, sweeping you into his arms like you were weightless. He rushed to the sand, and dropped to his knees. He pulled your jacket and hat off, and held you close against him. Every part of his skin that touched yours was warm and inviting. You passed out as he stood back up, racing towards his truck parked nearby.
The heat of the truck didn't make a difference, but Paul kept you tightly under his arm, driving like a maniac to the hospital. You were zoning in and out, and didn't even really realize you were already lying on a gurney in the hospital hallway until you heard Paul yelling that he wanted to come with you somewhere. Where were you going?
You passed out finally, and fully.
When you woke up you were attached to machines, an annoying beep hummed in the background as you tried to make sense of it all. What happened? You fell off a cliff. Why did you fall? Quil pushed you.
No, no that's not right.
But could your memory of Quil exploding into a great beast really be the truth? Could he have changed his boy from a human to something in under five seconds?
You looked around. You noticed an ugly cast around your foot, and gauze wrapped around your wrist. It hurt to move it... stitches maybe? You didn't remember bleeding.
There was a coat on the chair beside you, but no one was around. A doctor, you needed a doctor to talk to. You reached for the button, but as you grabbed it, Paul walked in holding a cup and what looked like a wrap or sandwich. From the cafeteria, probably.
"Hey doc! She woke up," Paul said to someone in the hall. Then he set his stuff down on the table at the end of your bed and sat close to you on the bed. "How are you? Been asleep for a while."
You were still confused, and didn't say anything. You just kept looking at Paul. He was nothing like Quil had said.
Quil.
"What happened to Quil?" you asked. Paul looked to the ground, and didn't have time to respond before the doctor walked in.
There was a long conversation about your broken leg, and the effects of the water. But other than that you'd probably be released today. There were some pain meds prescribed and a recovery booklet. For whatever reason, Paul was intently listening to all of it. Nodding and asking questions like it was his recovery. Where was your mom? She's a doctor here.
"I should go find your mom," Paul said. It was like he knew what you needed, all the time. Weird.
Paul left, and the doctor followed him out shortly after.
Once your mom got there, you didn't have any time to think about Paul or his weird behaviours. He hadn't come back with your mom. You were too busy answering a hundred questions from your mom. Why were you swimming at this time of year? Did you jump? You were gunna be grounded forever.
A couple days later, you were sitting on the couch watching tv when there was a knock at the door. Getting up and moving around on crutches was annoying, to say the least.
Quil was at the door, and Paul was leaning against his truck in the driveway.
"You haven't answered my calls," you said, moving to cross your arms but were blocked by your crutches. You huffed in frustration.
"I know, I'm sorry... It was hard to cope at first."
"You couldn't even muster up a 'sorry I pushed you off a cliff, buddy. ttyl.'?"
"I didn't push you off a cliff!" Quil raised his voice as you chuckled, but it made Paul stand more defensively.
"Tone it down," he warned.
"Is he your bodyguard?" you asked, looking around him. The smile that hit his face when he made eye contact with you was a total change in personality.
"I think he's yours, actually."
"Yeah, right."
"I'm sorry I pushed you off a cliff, buddy." Quil said, looking at his feet.
"I'm just glad you're okay," you said. "You turned into an animal." You whispered the last part.
"Is there any way I can convince you that you hit your head?"
"Maybe before you asked me that."
"I tried," Quil said, turning to Paul and shrugging. "I don't really have a lot of time to stay, but I'll call you later, I promise."
"Wait, Quil," you said, trying to follow him down your front steps. But he already disappeared behind your house. Paul stood nearby, arms wavering like he's ready to catch you. "Why'd he leave that way?"
"C'mon," Paul said, putting a hand softly on your lower back and guiding you back towards the house. "Can I come in?"
"Sure, I guess. I can't do much."
"Are you up for a movie?"
"Yeah, we can watch a movie." There was silence as you walked. "You have to tell me what's going on."
Paul made you wait until you were settled on the couch. He draped a blanket over your legs. And asked you what you remember.
"Quil freaking out and turning into ... something else, and then falling. After that is all fighting and hurting. I remember being so cold that it simultaneously felt like hell, and like nothing."
Paul seemed affected when you talked about your pain. "I tried to save you."
"You did save me," you said.
"I would've made it on time if I didn't take my truck, I thought... I really thought there was enough time to save you and protect you from..."
"From what?" You were finally getting some answers, and you wouldn't let Paul clam up now.
"My life," he said, quietly.
"What if I don't want that?"
"Is this what you want? Broken legs and hypothermia? This is what this road leads to. Anger, injury... just pain and more pain." Paul focused his attention on the carpet.
It felt like he was trying to push you away. But there was this feeling deep down that you belonged with him. You'd met only a few times but you noticed a genuine calmness when he was around, and you noticed the same thing in him.
"I like you, Paul." You'd never said it out loud. "Since I met you in the grocery store I've been thinking about you."
"I know," he whispered.
"But you don't want me..." you said, piecing everything together. It hit you somewhere deep in your chest. You'd faced rejection before, that's life. But this felt like something inside of you had been suffocated. Like a glass jar was placed over your soul and put the fire out.
"Trust me, you're better off." his words didn't match the rogue tear that slid down his cheek. He wiped it away when he thought you weren't looking.
"Yeah well, next time don't save me."
"Don't talk like that," Paul said, shock covering his features.
"Just go," you whispered.
When you heard his truck start up, you started to cry. And held your knees close to your chest as the sobbing took over your body.
Paul, staring at steering wheel, couldn't make himself leave. He knew that he'd just broken your heart, but he thought it was for the best. With his anger... he couldn't let himself hurt you. If Sam could lose control like that, what chance did Paul have?
He cried as he forced himself to drive away, and didn't stop crying the whole drive back.
[anyway i'm trying to be back :) as usual lemme know if you want part 2]
If you are struggling/overwhelmed with how to engage as a white person with what is going on in the US, I feel you, you are valid, but we have to do this. Black lives matter. It is a privilege to feel the choice of whether to engage at all; it’s tempting not to, but I hope you will. Try to do the hard work of confronting racism within yourself and your community, actively listen to voices of BIPOC, seek out those voices in your community and respectfully listen to the conversations already taking place - you can find your way through this, and there are lots of resources out there to help you on your way. If you have the means, you may also wish to contribute to bail funds for those on the frontlines who are being unjustly punished for advocating for their communities. Be good to yourselves out there.
#Blackout for Minneapolis. For Louisville. For Toronto. For Brooklyn. #Blackout for Us All.
To the #Blackout Community and Tumblr at large,
We know you must have a lot of questions or are feeling distressed about the news. The world has been dealing with a lot this year, and it is an especially harrowing time for Black Americans and Black folks abroad. We know your biggest question right now could be summed up by a quote from Toni Morrison:
“What can I do where I am?”
Here at #TheBlackout, we have decided to help you start finding an answer to that question - we feel that we need each other. We need unity, organization, a clear sense of direction, but more importantly, a space where you can be yourself without judgement or fear.
So, in addition to boosting your art and businesses, our highest priority right now is to provide you all with resources to help you start from where you are.
This is a masterpost of places you can donate, find mental health + spaces for radical self-care, and just do something fun. We will be adding on as things change.
Donate/Boost/Sign:
Minneapolis Freedom Bail Fund & Louisville Community Bail Fund
Reclaim the Block
Black Visions Collective
The Official GoFundMe of George Floyd’s Family
Official Petition for Breonna Taylor
Justice for Regis Official Fund
Justice for Tony McDade Petition
Black Lives Matter Network
Mental Health Resources:
Ethel’s Club - Black-owned and operated social club offering access to Black therapists and a multitude of creative events for People of Color.
Crisis Text Line - A different approach to crisis intervention, Crisis Text Line offers you help when you text 741-741. You’ll be able to chat with someone who is willing to listen and provide you with additional resources.
Shine Text. – Black-owned! Sign up to receive cheerful texts and tips every day.
Therapy For Black Girls - A Black-owned a directory to help you find Black therapists in your area.
Tips for Organizing/Protesting:
Knowing your rights - ACLU
How To Prepare for a Protest. (Remember to wear a mask in or to protect yourself!)
Poetry and Literary Spaces: Cave Canem Literary Balms program for Black poets, Nuyorician Online Open Mic Events, Well-Read Black Girl
Podcasts: Therapy For Black Girls, Strong Black Legends by Netflix’s Strong Black Lead, The Read with Crissle and Kid Fury.
Hobbies: #BlackBirdersWeek by BlackAFinSTEM (5/31 - 6/8), Wellness Week by Black Girl Gamers.
Join us for the 5/31 Emergency #Blackout/#BlackoutDay here on Tumblr and Twitter.
Update (5/30/2020 4:41 PM EST): Our original post included a memorial link to Tony McDade. We corrected the link to an ongoing petition. As of this posting, there is no official memorial fund collections for Tony McDade.
Your lease had come up - but you wanted to buy anyway, so it worked out. However, you were a little short in the savings department. So Wayne, being the lovely human that he is, opened his door to you to stay for a while to save up some money.
But now, you couldn’t continue to overstay your welcome. You’d been there for nearly a year, and truthfully - you didn’t want to go. At some point during your stay you’d fallen for Wayne. You couldn’t take the agony of living with a man you loved but couldn’t be with.
You walked into the kitchen in the morning. Wayne was standing by the sink, looking out the small window above. You were still in pjs, while Wayne was in his usual flannel and jeans.
“Morning Wayne,” you said, stretching. You walked over to pour yourself some coffee.
“G’morning.”
“So I think I found a pretty okay place to rent in town. I applied last night, wish me luck!” You smiled at him, but he didn’t smile back. He set his mug down on the counter harshly and crossed his arms.
“What are you talking about, you’re not going to rent again.”
“Yeah, I know I didn’t want to but I still don’t have enough and I’ve more than overstayed my welcome.”
“Nonsense,” he said. “Cancel it. You’re staying with me here.”
“Wayne, it’s okay. Renting isn’t that bad. I feel like a burden.”
“I have never once considered you a burden.”
You smiled at him. You really did believe him. But you were only going to get more attached. to him than you already were. You didn’t want to risk your heart and your friendship like that.
“Thanks for everything, Wayne.”
You left the kitchen to head upstairs, but Wayne couldn’t leave well enough alone. Why was he making this so difficult?
“Well,” he said, only steps behind you. “when are you going?”
“Whenever they accept me, I guess.”
“Well, don’t. There’s really no need to go. Just stay here with me,” Wayne paused. “And Katy, course.”
You stopped at the top of the stairs and turned around. He stopped as well, leaving you two eye to eye. You crossed your arms while he put his out, holding the railing on both sides of the steps. You wanted to kiss him but obviously, you didn’t.
“I can’t stay.”
“Why do you keep saying that? Why can’t you?”
“Because, Wayne. I’m laying down way too many roots and it’s gunna be hard to rip them out one day already. The longer I stay the harder it gets! Yaknow?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Look, Wayne. I can’t be your roommate anymore, okay? It’s gunna be hard enough to be your friend because I just, I feel - it’s too hard.”
He looked on quietly for a moment. As if he needed an extra minute to understand the words.
“I turned out to like you way more than I originally planned. So I am asking you, to stay here… with me.” Wayne looked vulnerable behind the eyes. “I’m asking ya to stay.”
You looked on in shock. The correct words completely lost somewhere else in your mind. He reached his hand out, and slowly trailed his digits down your forearm until he gripped your hand.
“Please, stay.”
Dedicated to: @buffalo-jones for being just the best. <3
Oh my goodness. No one’s ever written something just for me before. This is perfect and so, so sweet and I will live on it for days. @imaginingmanyfandoms is by and large my favorite writer on all of tumblr. Please follow!
janainaart
theartofmadeline
origamiaround
germansingergirl
yousharknotpass
ellievsbear
jbbartram-illu
