I Am The One Thing In Life I Can Control....

[buffalovegyal]

I’m going to use this Tumblr as my haven away from Instagram, I have a lot more followers there and I want to rant damn it!!!!! IG IS NOT A SAFE SPACE. I know the opps are looking and chatting. I’m realizing a lot of people I would consider friends, really ain’t that. Associated with me, but associates feels weird to say so no labels just people I know that internet is not real. And it’s not private even when you think it’s private. Eyes can see and phones can screenshot

[buffalovegyal]

Tiny Life Update

I’ve started hosting events. I like bringing people together with music and art and it’s quite easy to curate, literally just have to ask the people if they want to be involved and find a venue. I’m curating a Tiny Series of Events. Inspired by an inspiration, Taiyana’s Tiny Kitchen Concert which was inspired by Tiny Desk Concert. This is gonna be a great series of events at different locations in Buffalo,NY. First event is Tiny Caffe Concert at Caffe Aroma on November 22nd. The next event is a Tiny NYE Concert at Fitz Books and Waffles so congratulations to my one follower Cheez Bot you have exclusive semi-private information.

The next Tiny event is pending location confirmation and not gonna lie it’s scary. I’ve been turned down by venues before, but the nerves get me. The space is beautiful and I think it would be a perfect location for the next Tiny Event, it would get my name out there. But rejection is redirection and if I’m rejected I have a different direction I’d go. I think the scariest part about hosting is the turn out, if it sucks I know imma be disappointed but even if one person comes I need to be grateful because time is not free and eventually when I charge for some events, money definitely isn’t free. It’s energy. I’m going to do my best to not get prideful and big- headed, staying grounded is hard sometimes but imma thug it out and keep my sanity.

[buffalovegyal]

It’s crazy to look back at this Tumblr. I don’t even remember what was stressing me out so much to think my career was ruined. The old fears seem irrelevant now. I’m 24 years old now, my career was not ruined, I’m actually still trying to figure that part out. Im still self harm free, but I live with these big ass tattoo covered scars every day. And I’m kinda scared for the future. I’m excited but then I remember at any moment it can all be taken from me, I could give up on myself (unlikely), I could die (50/50 chance everyday), I could be canceled (unlikely). Fuckkkkkkkk I need to relax and live in the moment. I owe it to 16 year old to keep it pushing

[buffalovegyal]

I'm not sure anyone's life turns out exactly the way they imagine. All we can do is try to make the best of it. Even when it seems impossible.

Nicholas Sparks in Safe Haven

[buffalovegyal]

Vigorously Venting

I am going through a tough time and I am trying to cope and tell myself I am okay and everything is fine...it is it is just painful because my past is coming back to haunt me and I am scared it might hurt my career goal. I am going through a tough time and I am trying to cope and tell myself I am okay and everything is fine...it is it is just painful because my past is coming back to haunt me and I am scared it might hurt my career goal. So I found out that I am diagnosed with a mental illness. And due to my lack of knowledge of people with this mental illness and careers, I am scared because I overthink a lot (as I am right now) I want to do so much and help so many people. But how can I be of help if I cant...I don’t know how to word this without using 1000 words....help myself. I just want to here my parents tell me I can make it as a therapist given that I have been in a person who needs help but they don’t and I am frustrated about that, they say calming things but all I can think about is all I have put them through and how much I hurt them and who can blame them if they think I am not capable. I tell myself I can do it but as usual I do the famous Ty Two Step, 2 thoughts to move forward and 15 steps back if I think for a second I cant do it. It is fatal flaw of mine. I am trying to have hope and trust in God (yes I am Christian but I do not force my religion on anyone because that is not my place to do so) and smile. I am going to bed but before I do my next post is a quote from a book I like. And if you have any advice for me I will take it. I am sending out good vibes even if I barely have any for myself.

[buffalovegyal]

A Little Bit About Me

To make someone interested in my blog more comfortable, I will tell you about myself. My name is Tyliyah, I am 16 for exactly another month starting today, I am Black (and proud to be Black), I am a Senior in high school. Sadly, I used to suffer with self harm (about 3 years ago) and if you are struggling just talk to me because it is a horrible habit that will change you for the worse and you need to stop and just talk to me okay, I want to stop people from making my mistake. I am open minded, so if I say something you don’t agree with just give me an explanation and if it makes sense I will change my mind (maybe). I am straight but not at all homophobic, and I am not Islamophobic, or any kind a phobic that has to do with people being out of society's norm. I will try to post daily but I am in high school and getting ready for college.  

[buffalovegyal]

Welcome To My Blog

I honestly did not make this blog for recognition, I just want someone who is having a hard time being heard to know they're not alone. I will be venting, talking about Hamilton, sharing quotes, and I just want everyone to know that things may seem bad now, but trust me things get better...eventually and that is why patience is a necessity when times are hard.