Charlie tenses, and covers it by leaning into Ethan, squeezing him harder for a moment before he leans back, lets go. His fingernails catch and pick idly at the seam of his arm rest as he thinks.
“I think- yeah. Not, uh, not for a long time, before… Y’know. But I did once. After, uhm.” His voice is shaking. He hasn’t thought about it in- shit, years, probably. A decade? It can’t be much longer than that, he’s sure of it, but honestly has no idea exactly how long it’s been.
He forces a yawn and keeps talking.
“After uh, a show I was in as a kid, I mean my first one, when I was little. I thought I- I’d find my brother, and we’d go get our- my, uh- fuc- sorry. We, we’d go get the Puzzler, and we’d get out somehow, and live… Out there, I mean here. I never really- I don’t think I decided where, exactly. I didn’t know enough about the outside to imagine it.
“Nothing like this, basically. I never thought to picture myself grown up, or living- anything close to on my own. This is… This is new.”
Charlie’s eyes wander over the unmade bed, the slightly concerning eggs. His hand unclenches. It’s hard to make his fingers relax. He’s going to damage the chair if he keeps picking at it. The heel of his hand brushes over his chest instead, and stays there.
He wonders if the air conditioning is on. It’s kind of cold. Would it be rude to complain? It would, right? He’s sort of forced their company on Ethan with no warning, it’s not like he could have just refused…