non compos mentis

[bumbalina]

Had a very fleabag-esque moment where I hit my vape at a red light as two Mormon missionaries walked past my car in their jc penney pants

[bumbalina]

Sitting in silence with my eyes closed for a minute thirty because I won’t let the ads get me

[bumbalina]

Love that my ENGAGEMENT ended and I have to go to work like a normal person

[miamaimania]

“Cows Up High” ~ Maharashtra, India ◆ They know where the ridge goes; we don’t

[soracities]

Stig Dagerman, A Moth to a Flame (Burnt Child) (trans. Benjamin Mier-Cruz)

[Text ID: “It is not true that a burnt child dreads the fire. It is drawn to it like a moth to a flame. It knows that when it goes near it, it will burn itself again. Still, it gets too close.”]

[cloudswamp]

more and more, margaret atwood

[bumbalina]

More and More

More and more frequently the edges

of me dissolve and I become

a wish to assimilate the world, including

you, if possible through the skin

like a cool plant's tricks with oxygen

and live by a harmless green burning.

I would not consume

you or ever

finish, you would still be there

surrounding me, complete

as the air.

Unfortunately I don't have leaves.

Instead I have eyes

and teeth and other non-green

things which rule out osmosis.

So be careful, I mean it,

I give you fair warning:

This kind of hunger draws

everything into its own

space; nor can we

talk it all over, have a calm

rational discussion.

There is no reason for this, only

a starved dog's logic about bones.

[slutdge]

[holespoles]

nanaki jun

"Surely, a wonderful encounter awaits just around the corner."

「きっと　すぐそこに　素敵な出会いがある」

[bumbalina]

Me with my cat 😊

[holespoles]

Barbara Firth (1928 - 2013)

[fuzzyghost]

Daybreak - Antonio Peticov (1982)

[thegroovyarchives]

Vintage City Playing Card

[liminally-spaced]

[panoptinomicon]

[gummygunk]

ミントピュア マネキネコ

[bumbalina]

Feel like I’m coming out of the weirdest 3 year bender of just stagnation I have evolved not at all and it’s 100% because I’ve been drinking and drugging and wasting away in my room

And it’s still ok, not rock bottom. work, earn well, I have friends and a partner who I love but it’s not what I want for myself.

And that’s my worst combination—my compulsion to tell people the right answer/keep the peace, my secret desires, and my willingness to choose the lowest denominator in any given situation

I’ve spent my entire life not having the courage to say to anyone what I actually want to do in life, fantasizing privately about how I will pull off my ambitions, but in my real life, finding and choosing the lowest denominator is now an automatic filter—any task becomes “what’s the lowest possible bar to meet to mark it off as completed?” We can do this because of your secret desire. but wait! I never made any progress there either because a dream unspoken is a dream unrealized. The casting agent is not finding you at the mall like a young Natalie Portman you have to work towards it

That’s fine for a season, but years?? God it’s horrible realizing that I have wasted wasted my life for the definition of someone else’s OK.

I am trying to evolve and fix this tendency but god this realization that I can zone out with drugs drink and preferred media and not drown is actually terrifying because I have always wanted to just opt out and do nothing. The fact that I’m not scared of this flaccid corporate routine becoming my life is the real horror, I feel myself negotiating with the plan god has for me. What motivation is there to change when good enough is good enough and I can smoke all the weed I want? Why am I not scared of being like this????

I want to care like I did because it meant I wasn’t negotiating with myself. I want to use the gifts god gave me to create a beautiful work of art, a beautiful family, and I want to say when we meet, thank you, it’s all done and I gave you all of me

[bumbalina]

I’m sorry the kid in Adolescence was the worst in the cast I don’t believe his performance one bit 😭

[bumbalina]

We in the west hate to see it but the East specifically the Northeast is the future they’re already breaking records and after visiting, I can confirm they’re living in 3008 and we ARE 2000 and late