laura !

[eldritchrach]

Long Live the Black Parade was incredible and I've made 6 new stickers which will be available soon. 🤘

[jasper-dixon]

[demerzels-coffee-filter]

Lt_General_Fuckery is 1000% the username she would choose, too

[lost-carcosa]

[furryprovocateur]

they should allow you to report posts for being gauche or passé

[girlswater]

[makingtrouble]

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

[makingtrouble]

Actually I've decided this is a poem

[sioltach]

YOU DID NOT COME INTO THIS WORLD. YOU CAME OUT OF IT, LIKE A WAVE FROM THE OCEAN. YOU ARE NOT A STRANGER HERE

[rars]

well-written women who narratively suck are like crack cocaine to me. hello shitty little woman do you need some crumbs of love that you've clearly never been given? lol

[tourdion]

say what you will about the reserve bank of india these are some cracking coins

[theradicalkanji]

[cuntubus]

[uncertainlys]

ever since i was a little girl i knew i didnt have a competitive spirit

[dakumata-deactivated20150111]

[iamhavingsomuchfun]

[ma-che-noia]

[victusinveritas]

[anxeious]

this is making me emotional

[eyestrain-addict]

[c3po]

is 5 too young for the dark crystal? i don’t want to scare my sister but i want to show her

[effemimaniac]

I forgot that was the name of a film when I read this and thought you were desperate to show your 5 y/o sister some sort of cursed artifact

[peri]

seeing support for lazy eye in any form is so fucking rare and it bums me out. shoutout to people who have a constant lazy eye. shoutout to people who have an occasional lazy eye. shoutout to people who have both eyes that are lazy. shoutout to people who are somewhere in between, a mix, or have a lazy eye in an entirely new way or in a way that is hard to describe. i love you. you don't look stupid, you don't look unattractive. you are beautiful as you are, and anyone who sees you lesser for this isn't worth your time.