Fumikage Tokoyami x Reader, Dark Shadow x Reader (NSFW)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Noncon, Dark Shadow being an aggressive monster
(I’m very mixed on this. This was a weird one that feels less smutty and more just plain horror, and I wasn’t sure how to approach the perspectives. Either way, writing this was an experience)
🍋28 years- Yandere!Silva x Reader Lemon (forced) part 3
I am back dears! I have another installment of perhaps one of the only Silva x reader lemons on the market. It seems that y'all really love daddy Silva a bit too much. Regardless! Here comes the lemons.
Also, a few of you naughty brats said he wasn’t kinky enough for 28+ years in his obsessed relationship, and you DARE to challenge ME- the queen of fucked up and kinky lemons- to up the kink level???
You Will Regret it, Darlings.
Also, obligatory disclaimer DON’T DO THIS. NO FORCING YOUR LOVED ONE TO DO THIS NOR DO I SUPPORT THE IDEA. You wanna do force play? Talk to your partner and stay safe.
BEHOLD Y'ALL: Exactly 13,000 WORDS! FEAST, MY CHILDREN!
It was dark and in the early hours of the morning when the white haired male entered the shared room. His soft little lover lay curled up on the bed, buried beneath the warm blankets in an attempt to stave off the cold air that hung in the room. Her even breaths soothed the tense male as he silently approached, slowly peeling away the layers of blankets.
When he finally reached his goal, he noticed the small shiver that trembled through his (h/c) wife. She lay before him, clad in a thin night-shirt and loose shorts, small form curled tightly in an attempt to retain as much heat as possible.
He was half-way tempted to just join her and drift off into slumber, but a familiar tightening in his pants demanded his attention. How cute she looked, so innocent and oblivious to the danger that stood above her. He could easily kill her or hurt her and she wouldn’t even know until it happened. So soft and unaware…
He shed his clothes before laying next to his still shivering wife, unable to stop as he reached forward and pulled her against his chest. She unconsciously pressed closer to him, seeking out the warmth of his body and unknowingly rubbing up against his already straining length. Her small movement causing her shirt to lift slightly, revealing her warm skin.
A soft growl of desire rumbled through his chest, his rough hands pushing her top up further. She only pressed closer as the cold air nipped at her skin, her nipples stiffening from the change in temperature and drawing the dangerous man’s attention. They were puffy and slightly engorged, indicating that his cute little wife was beginning to lactate again.
She already had five sons, perhaps she was with child again, or perhaps he was just lucky. After all, women can continue to produce milk as long as she continues to nurse, regardless if it is an infant or not. In any case, he needed no invitation to latch his mouth on the hardened peak and begin to suck, relishing the sweet cream that coated his tongue. A soft whimper escaped her lips as she shifted slightly in her sleep, only fueling his desire for more.
He moved so that she lay beneath him, easily pulling off the thin clothes that restricted his access to her body. Once bare, she shook again, legs limply falling open, giving Silva quite the view. She was damn near presenting her warm heat to him. Oh, and he would accept the invitation.
He could barely focus on the task at hand as he slowly rubbed her legs, kissing up a trail to what he wanted most at that moment. The scent of her unconscious arousal made him sink his tongue into her folds, moaning lowly. Such a divine treat, to have not only her delicious milk but her slick heat. His hot tongue happily sliding in and out of the soft velvet walls. She shifted and quietly mewled at the feeling, unconsciously moving her hips to the movement of his tongue.
Such a sinful response from her made his large cock throb and ache, needing to be inside her once more. He held back the desire for a little longer, not yet wanting to stop during his feast. Everything about her was a drug to him. Her scent, her taste, her little noises, her screams… Everything. He worshipped every little mark or blemish, every inch of her.
He felt starved for her when she was not around. But being able to return and feast on all of his sinful desires filled him with such a rush. Just a need to claim her once more. To sink into her. The more he thought, the harsher his tongue became. Practically lashing against her heat, his lips sealed over her exposed flesh, thumbs holding her soft folds open.
He wanted nothing more than to simply feast on her for the remainder of his life. To satisfy his near abominable cravings. His feelings and sex drive haven’t changed for 28 years. He still was the love-sick man who was taken in by an angel. His father was wrong in thinking Silva would ever be able to ‘fuck it out’ of his system. Not with his Goddess directly in front of him.
His needy length made him pull back, feeling near pain from not being inside of that tight pussy. She would always be tight. He was larger than normal and her body could only take so much. Just the thought made his heavy length twitch in anticipation.
He must have had saintly patience given the state his cock was now in. It was painfully swollen, the tip coated in precum that dripped down the shaft slowly. It had enough blood-flow that it was near purple with how flushed he was. It was so deliciously painful to be that hard and just ready to rail into someone he loved so much.
Her small shivers thrilling him as he slowly slid his needy length through her soft folds, pleased at the wet heat that greeted him. Without a single thought, he slowly slid into that warmth, feeling relief from the familiar tight embrace. A deep moan escaped his lips as her tight walls managed to squeeze out a spurt of fluid from his painfully hard cock.
Yes. This was what he craved.
~~~~~~
A soft whine escaped your lips as you slowly opened your eyes, the faint feeling of discomfort pulling you from sleep. It took a moment for your vision to focus, bright blue eyes watching you closely as you woke. As another moment passed, you suddenly became aware of what it was that woke you.
Silva was buried to the hilt within you, bucking his hips as he stared at you with lustful eyes. Your surprised whine was quickly cut off by a moan as a bolt of pleasure split through you, back arching up from the bed. It didn’t take long for you to wrap your arms around his larger frame, nails biting into his skin as he grunted softly from the sensation.
“A-ah! You co-couldn’t wait?”
You let out a high whine from the feeling, panting heavily into the air as your body jerked back and forth on the bed. One of his hands gripped your hip, pulling you to meet his thrusts. His other hand palmed your breast, pinching and pulling at the dusky peak. Catching a bouncing breast in his warm mouth, growling out a moan from the sweet milk on his tongue. He let out a low hum, eyes burning with desire as he moved his hips at a faster pace, skin slapping against skin.
“No.”
You would have laughed at his short response if you weren’t being drilled into the bed by the man. His soft hair fell around the two of you, shielding you and making you focus on the eyes that dug into your writhing form.
Often you thought he had the eyes of a predator, hungrily staring at your whimpering form and relishing your helplessness. It was times like these that you truly felt as if you were seeing the beast within, feeling his firm muscles and his endless strength against your soft body. He was a killer, no doubt about it, but it was times like these that reminded you just how dangerous he truly was.
You could feel the strength just beneath his skin as he slammed into you, forcing up that coil of white-hot pleasure into your writhing body. There was no denying that he knew your body better than you did, and he used that knowledge to his advantage. He angled his thrusts so that his girth pressed heavily against your walls, causing your soft stomach to bulge with every thrust.
The pressure against your sensitive walls made you whine loudly as the coil within became painful. The haze of sleep and lust intermingled in your mind, bringing with them pure euphoria to every corner of your body. With a few more thrusts you cried out your release, whining and moaning as he continued to piston his hips, forcing you to cum a second time.
At the feeling of your body tightening around him once more, Silva let out a harsh hiss of pleasure, releasing deep inside of you. Your sensitive body spasmed as he slid out of your abused entrance, pulling you close to his warm chest and laying next to you.
You couldn’t help but press closer to him as the fevered pleasure left your system, leaving you exposed to the biting cold. His large arms wrapped securely around you, warming up your smaller figure. Some may argue and say that it was wrong to feel such comfort in the arms of a mad-man, but 28 years made you numb to such thoughts.
Humans craved contact, they need it to keep themselves semi-sane even if it was uncomfortable. It is hard-wired into human instinct to relish such closeness, even if the only source was a man like Silva.
The soft feel of blankets being pulled up over you drew your attention back to consciousness, trying to fight off the sleep that threatened to pull you back into its clutches. Silva had been busy recently, so the most contact you had with him was the daily early morning and late evening sex that usually led to sleepy cuddles. You kept track of the passage of time and your birthday was coming up soon.
Silva was usually surprisingly accommodating when it came to your gift request even if he loathed it beyond belief. You would always request to be able to spend time with your children. Of course, Silva wouldn’t just let you have such a costly gift without some kind of payment, but it was always worth it to you.
His usual 'exchange’ was an hour for four hours. If you wished to have an hour with your children, you would need to be completely submissive and obedient to him for at least four hours of his choosing. He was a jealous man, and it was no secret that he was even jealous of his own children when it came to his wife’s attention. He would hover and silently observe, counting the very seconds until he could have you to himself again.
But it was those few choice hours that you adored. Being able to hold your children close, to listen to their voices and relax in their presence. All five of your precious children loved you deeply, even if they rarely got to see you. You were ecstatic at the idea of being able to spend time with your family even if the price was a steep one.
Silva would only allow such an exchange of time when it neared your birthday, and would flat out refuse if it were any other occasion. You knew you would have to bring it up early or he would be beyond displeased at the short notice, so you fought your desire to sleep, looking up at his piercing blue eyes.
“Silva..?”
“What is it?”
“My birthday is coming up soon…”
“It is. And?”
“And… I want to be able to see Illumi, Milluki, Killua, Alluka, and Kalluto.”
“…”
“Please?”
“Fine. You know my price. I expect you to pay it in full, understand?”
“…Yes, Master, I understand.”
“Good.”
~~~~~~
“No.”
“Silva-”
“I said 'no’, (y/n). He is not coming here. I will not allow it.”
You clenched your jaw in fury, glaring at the towering blue-eyed beast before you. It wasn’t rare to hear you two spat, but this was beginning to become a full-blown argument between the two of you, likely meaning a handful of nosy butlers were nearby.
“You already agreed to the terms, and she was included.”
“I said 'no’ and that’s final
And are you seriously going to entertain his delusional fantasy? He is a male. Your son. Not some woman.”
“And what’s wrong with being a woman?! Alluka is uncomfortable in her skin, let her choose her own path in life and if she wants to be female, let her!”
“That’s enough, (y/n)! Enough with this delusional thinking! Enough with this pointless arguing! You two are not allowed to see one another and you never will be! So stop before I make you stop!”
A tense silence hung in the air as his words seemed to echo off the walls, bouncing around in your skull. You can’t fight him, you’ve tried. You can’t make him see or understand. But, you can make him suffer.
Oh you can certainly make him suffer.
There are few weaknesses that Silva has, and they all revolve around you. Your attention, your affection, your voice, your health… It’s all just a waiting game and a battle of wills. You know how to get under his skin and you haven’t done it in decades, not since he punished you for running away. Not since you accepted your lot in life. If he thought you forgot or didn’t notice, he had another thing coming.
You knew it would work due to how much he truly did and went through to keep you safe and relatively happy. He would immediately have Kikyo come to your aid the moment you sniffled or coughed. He would never allow you to go hungry, and even kept food in the kitchenette of your cell. He would work the knots and soreness out of your back every week. He refused to fall asleep before you as he wanted to ensure you were resting and comfortable before he was. He immediately retrieved something of interest if he noticed you were bored. He always ensured you orgasmed before he did.
He may be your captor, but he was a slave to your well-being.
“… Fine…”
You straightened up, forcing your face to become emotionless and your breathing to quiet. Silva narrowed his eyes, wondering just what you were planning as you never gave something up so quickly. Turning away from him, you went to the corner on the far side of the room, sitting and curling up so your knees were pressed against your chest and back against the wall. It was what Zeno teasingly referred to as your 'safety’ corner and Silva’s 'nightmare’ corner. The one you fled to when you were upset. The very same one you stayed in after you had been broken. The one you would go to when you felt unwell. If ever there was something wrong with you, you would immediately flee to your corner and remain there.
You settled down in the corner, taking note of the displeased look in Silva’s eyes as he watched you curl in your corner. Time passed slowly, but you continued to sit there no matter how bored you became, your resolve to see all of your children driving you to patience even with such mind-numbing boredom. You refused to move when Silva left or when he came back, staring out at the empty space before you and completely ignoring him. Even when your legs became numb and your back began to ache, you refused to move.
It seemed your unusual silence and behavior was beginning to unsettle Silva. Due to the amount you would typically chatter to him or yourself, your silence was deafening. You were the one who held most of the conversations, in part because Silva didn’t speak much, and in part because you had no one else to talk to besides yourself. Even when you were displeased, you typically murmured to yourself, giving some semblance of noise in the unchanging walls of your cage. But now you refused to make a single sound, remaining silenced. There was a palpable tension in the air that hung like a veil over everything, blanketing the walls and furniture.
When the evening came, you were still in the same spot you had been, staring out and refusing to make eye-contact with him. Staring straight through him like he wasn’t even there. Silva clearly noticed you were upset with him because of his harsh words and denial of your request to see Alluka, so he left your meals and a cup of water near you. But you refused to touch it. Your throat was dry like sand-paper, but that didn’t matter to you. Your stomach howled, but you ignored it.
He sat on the floor in front of you, a good distance away to keep from upsetting you further. It seemed as if he were trying to compel you to acknowledge him in some way, even if it was just eye-contact with him. He was patient, naturally as an assassin he had to be. But it was clear that he was still unsettled by your continued silence, and he only had so much patience when it came to you- the only thing he truly loved and cared for- ignoring him.
Almost like a child, the moment his patience ran out he would become upset and angry at first before breaking down in what was akin to a temper-tantrum, and then dissolving into forcing you or doing almost anything you wanted to return to your good graces. It was only when several hours passed of him watching you in silence that he finally said something.
He growled at this and stood, hissing through his teeth. What little patience he had broke quickly, leaving him in a foul mood at you ignoring him.
“Fine. Stay here. Sleep alone.”
He entered your shared bedroom and closed the door harshly, making you internally shiver. He was getting angry, but you knew he wouldn’t be able to last long. On specific occasions, like when you refused to leave your corner for more than 48 hours, he would even settle for sleeping next to you on the floor. He could not last very long without you by his side or giving him your treasured attention.
Later in the evening, the door slowly opened and you could see white peaking from the corner of your eye. He was watching you. Likely trying to see if you changed your mind, touched your food, or even moved since he closed the door.
He was beginning to suffer from your absence already. Without you in his arms, he couldn’t sleep, and he certainly couldn’t quiet his running mind. Many things went through his head, how empty the bed felt, how much he longed to hear your voice, to feel the soothing roll of your heartbeat, everything.
He was no fool. He knew what you were doing and why you were doing it.
But damn it all, you were the only thing he truly loved in his life. Certainly he cared for his father and his sons, but there was no true familial love. You though… You were all he needed… All he wanted. You were the only thing he couldn’t imagine losing.
His mind had a damn panic attack when he saw you. Your skin was pale, dark circles already began to form under your eyes. You hadn’t touched your food from lunch or dinner, and the cup of water sat next to you as full as it was when he set it down. Your eyes looked so despondent and hurt.
Damn it.
Damn it!
You were doing this to yourself to hurt him, he knew it! So why was it working? Why did he feel so concerned?
… Fuck it.
He took long strides to where you sat, crouching down in front of you and looking into your empty eyes. It bothered him more than any harsh words could when you looked straight past him. He reached out with a calloused hand, cupping your cheek and tilting your head back to meet his gaze. There was a long moment of silence before he spoke in a low rumble of a growl.
“Does seeing Alluka matter that much to you? Enough that you will hurt yourself and suffer like this just to protest his absence?”
“…”
“… Fine. I will allow you to see him. To have your one hour with him after you have seen the other four. But know this; if you dare starve yourself or do anything to harm yourself again, I will not hesitate to fill you with so many drugs you won’t have the ability to do it again.”
You finally focused your eyes to lock with his, life seeming to return to you. You knew he would make good on the threat and would not tolerate such behavior from you again. But now, it will always make him think twice before denying you one of your few comforts.
You still remembered the horror that you endured after you escaped all those years ago. You feared he would repeat that if you continued to disobey him so blatantly again.
“Now, I want you to eat, drink, and come to bed. I’ll feed you myself if I must, but you will eat and stop this madness.”
You nodded picking up the plate of food he brought you, resisting the urge to scarf down the cold food, and began to eat. He watched your every move to ensure that you ate every last scrap, only ever looking away to get you more water. Once your hunger and thirst had been satiated, he gathered you up in his arms, carrying you to your shared bed.
For once, he didn’t have his way with you or pounce when you changed into proper sleep-wear. He simply pulled you to his chest and lay with you, running his fingers gently through your hair. That feeling of adoration and caring returned to you, and though you knew it was wrong, you let yourself drown in it.
~~~~~~
Warmth filled your chest as your youngest lay curled up in your arms, his eyes closed and his head resting against your chest. His soft breathing soothed you and dulled the ache in your heart, allowing you this quiet moment of relaxation and bliss. It didn’t matter that Silva hovered nearby, practically counting the seconds as they passed.
You knew Kalluto missed you terribly and was rather lost without you, enough so that he apparently hovered around his fake mother in an attempt to have that parental affection. He certainly wouldn’t receive such a thing from Zeno and there was no way in hell he would get any kindness from Silva. He had been raised as his siblings had, to be good little soldiers and assassins and to kill without feeling or remorse.
But you knew that Kalluto was soft and still in desperate need for parental affection. You even had Killua smuggle out a note to Kikyo shortly after Kalluto was born. All you asked was for her to look after Kalluto and be a mother to him in your stead. She did her best from what you heard and she went above and beyond for the boy, but Kalluto refused to allow her to fully replace you.
He knew who his mother was, and he knew that the best comfort and affection he would ever receive would come from you. He yearned for your affection and gentle interaction, wanting only to soak up as much love as possible before the hour was up.
You settled an agreement with Silva that you would have an hour with each of your children, so a full twenty hours you would have to repay to Silva. Which meant no fighting back, no sassing, no complaining or arguing, no resisting, and to do as he wished to the letter. If you didn’t, you could say goodbye to ever seeing your children again. It was cruel and irrational, but Silva had never been rational when it came to you.
Like a dragon guarding its most precious jewel, Silva took your isolation and protection very seriously. He wanted not even a moment of your time to be spent on anyone else, only him. So you would have to do everything in your power to soothe his jealousy, lest he finally snap and kill your children.
He said he would never, but you didn’t believe him for a single second. His gaze was pure poison any time your attention was not on him and the way he would sometimes look at Kalluto, Killua, or any of your children made you hyper aware of the fact that he was very unstable. But even with his constant presence, you would do as much as possible and catch up as much as possible with your children.
It made all of the pain and heart-ache worth it. It made being an obedient toy to Silva worth it. It made being trapped by the dangerous man worth it.
Kalluto’s eyes were closed as he leaned into your touch, fingers gently threading through his hair. He was so small that you couldn’t help but feel protective of him, wanting nothing more than to hold him for all time and fight away anything that he was afraid of.
You knew time was running out and you didn’t want Kalluto to be harmed or roughly thrown out once time was up.
“Kalluto.”
“Hm..?”
“It’s time to go, sweet-heart.”
“..no…”
“Kalluto, it’s alright. I’ll still be here and we will see one another again.”
He looked up at you with such a pitiful gaze that you almost felt compelled to stand up to Silva just to have a few more moments, but reality set in. You knew it would be a terrible idea so you had no choice but to gently remove the child from your form and set him down. You walked with him as far as your chain would allow as he let himself out, your heart aching in agony.
“I’ll take those four hours now.”
“…yes, Master…”
~~~~~~
A whimper escaped your lips as you tried desperately to not move. The heat deep inside of you being a constant stimulant that made you want to buck your hips or do something to relieve that feeling.
But you dare not move.
This is what Silva wanted so you did your absolute best to follow his instructions, even if it was driving you mad. The soft sound of papers moving helped distract you from the feeling within, biting down hard on your lip to keep the noises inside.
You sat on Silva’s lap as he reclined on the couch in your cell, looking over various assassination contracts and their details. You had been told to not move or make a sound as he read them unless he wanted you to read one out-loud. This would be all well and good if he wasn’t fully sheathed inside of you and periodically bucking his hips.
You wanted desperately to cry out and move to take your own pleasure, but you had made a deal with him. A contract. So you wouldn’t dare do anything that he did not command of you. It had been three hours of him staying stiffly lodged inside of you, and it was clear the connection between the two of you was impacting him as well.
He was painfully hard and bigger than usual as a result. You could feel the intense pulse of his heartbeat deep inside of you and any time he moved or shifted, that feeling intensified. It was near torture and you just wanted to scream.
He was breathing deeply, revelling in how obedient you were being, your submission to him only making him harder. Loving the way your tight heat wrapped around him and squeezed him any time he bucked his hips. Your hands resting against his knees as you panted softly, trying to keep yourself under control.
He thought you were so cute with flushed cheeks, straining muscles, and clenched jaw. You were trying so hard to be good that he felt like rewarding you, but he was also testing how long he could hold out. It was delayed gratification, he kept getting harder and you kept getting tighter. He knew the moment he let himself move freely in your depths it would be deliciously euphoric.
He felt a pleasure nearing agony from how badly he wanted to grip your hips and slam into you at top speed. Enough blood was rushing to his length that he lost focus on the papers long ago, slowly becoming unable to think of much besides his desire. His instincts screamed at him to just do it already and he was nearing the end of his patience.
“(Y/n).”
“Yes -ah!- mas -ngh- master?”
“Tell me, do you want me to move? To ravage you and fill you up with my cum?”
His voice was a husky growl in your ear as he tossed the papers to the side, not caring where they fell. He was ready to end this little game of his, but first, he wanted to hear you beg. That was one of his rules after all, that if you must speak out of turn, it has to be begging.
But, he adored teasing and frustrating you. Acting like he has more control over himself than he actually does. One of his large hands trailed down your exposed front as he spoke, gently rubbing your folds. You twitched and writhed, trying so desperately to get as much pleasure from the small movement as you could. Having already been brought to the edge many times over, you were desperate to cum.
“Do you want me to fuck you so hard you can’t walk? To sink my cock into that little womb of yours?”
He moved his non occupied hand to press against your lower stomach, making you suddenly tighten up around him. He could practically feel his hard length inside of your soft body through your skin. You let out a near screeching wail at the feeling, desperate to feel something more than just him buried inside of you.
It was shameful. It was humiliating. It was so damn good. You knew you should still hate him. 28 years of being his little wife, his personal sex toy. But damn it all, when you spend that much time with someone, you can’t help but care for them and enjoy their company.
And as twisted as it was, he did care for you. He cared in an unhealthy and obsessive way, but there was no denying the fact that he adored you in every sense of the word. He was homicidal and irrationally jealous, but he did love you.
“Yes-! Yes, please! Please, master! I can’t take it! Please move! I need it- I need you to fill me up!”
Your cheeks burned with humiliation, tears forming in the corners of your eyes from absolute shame. Every word burned in your throat, knowing he would bring it up later when you weren’t as receptive to his advances, but you didn’t care. Not right now. All you could think of was reaching your orgasm and finally getting that bliss you craved.
“I don’t know if you’ve earned it… Perhaps-”
“Damn it, Silva! Just fuck me into oblivion already! Fuck my pussy with your hard cock! Fill me up until I burst! Fuck me on every surface and in every way! Fuck me until I can’t scream anymore! Just do something other than sit there!”
He was stunned for a moment at your words. Not ever in 28 years had you begged like this; so desperate and aggressive. Then again, he never waited three hours with you on the edge of pleasure like this before. It drove his mind feral.
Not even a moment after recovering from his shock, he had you pinned harshly over the arm of the couch. His thrusts were wild and almost painful with how good they felt. Finally he was giving you what you needed and you couldn’t be happier. Your toes curled and you screamed in agonizing pleasure, clawing at the couch desperately.
You moved your hips with his and mewled out in pleasure, making noises that indicated you were painfully sensitive. It wasn’t long before he moved the two of you, pressing you up against the wall facing him. He held your thighs up to get that wonderful angle that made you see stars.
You screeched and clawed at his back, leaving behind bleeding marks as you dug your nails into his skin. The burn of the wounds added to the pleasure he felt, pleased with you marking his back. You only managed to make him bleed when you were either drowning in absolute bliss, or beyond infuriated with him.
He couldn’t help catching one of your bouncing breasts in his mouth, sucking harshly at the warm peak. Nearly snarling in pleasure as that sweet cream coated his tongue. Your flavor was bliss to him.
He was selfish. He knew that. He had laid claim to your delicious milk long ago, and refused to share it even when you gave birth. He didn’t want anyone else to have access to such a divine treat. He refused to let you nurse your sons, and kept your milk to himself. He would jealously guard what he saw as his right to have access to you.
Allowing his mouth to pop off of your swollen breast, he sped up his wild thrusting into your body. It took him no time to cover your neck and shoulders with bites and blooming purple marks.
He growled out moans and guttural grunts of pleasure when you tightened up on him. He could barely stand his desire for you. To feel your embrace around his body. To hear your sweet voice crying for him. To see your eyes glazed with bliss. It was a magnificent sight to see his beloved darling angel behaving so sinfully for him.
It was such a lovely sight, that he didn’t want it to end just yet. So the moment he felt you tighten up, ready to cum all over him, he pulled out.
You were livid.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“Patience, darling-”
“I’ve been patient for three fucking hours Silva! Don’t you dare tell me to be patient!”
He almost wanted to chuckle at how displeased you were, but figured that would be a poor decision. You were fuming with anger and teasing you further would be the worst thing he could do at that moment.
“If you won’t give me what I need, I’ll do it myself!”
You struggled to get out of his arms so you could finally get yourself that blissful release you desperately needed. He let out a low growl at this, his eyes turning cold and his grip becoming harsh.
“No you fucking won’t. Your tight pussy belongs to me, and me alone. I won’t let anyone other than me pleasure you, not even you. It’s my job to make you cum.”
The look he had at that moment would have been enough any other time to force you to submit. But, then again, you were desperate to be fucked into release. It was so painful to wait like this. You were about ready to cry it was so painful. Nothing was off the table anymore in order to get what you needed.
You needed it. You had become so adjusted to having that bliss multiple times a day that it was actually hurting you to deny your release. You were ready to guilt him if you damn well needed to.
So you reached up, threading your fingers through his hair and tugged. He let out a feral moan, eyes narrowing in bliss. Pulling his hair was surprisingly one of his favorite things, and it always got him going. You tugged his hair so that he was close enough for you to whisper in his ear with a sultry purr.
“Then do your job, before I decide to do it myself.”
Your dominant words paired with the threat worked wonders. He could barely remember why he had pulled out of you in the first place, laying you beneath the shining moonlight filtering through the window and sheathing himself inside of you. You whimpered and twitched as you were filled once more, wrapping your legs as far around him as you could.
He gripped your hips, holding them up against his as he kneeled on his knees, smirking when your body arched to accommodate his length in this position. Your eyes were already glazed over and he wasted no time before pounding wildly into you. The bliss you two felt from the connection erased all reasonable thought, the only thing left being an undeniable instinct.
The instinct to mate and pursue that tantalizing pleasure hanging just out of reach. Your vision cartwheeled and blurred, leaving only the view of the stars and his burning blue eyes. The pleasure burned and emptied your mind, making it impossible to focus on anything beyond your desire.
The world swayed and bounced around you, lights streaking across the inky midnight blue in erratic movement. Icy ocean waves being consumed by black, falling into a rift torn in the very fabric of time. Silk spiderwebs falling around you in a gentle brush of feathers. Metal vices, clamping down on soft plains of skin, digging into the gentle flesh with unforgiving strength.
Blooming heat from deep within, leaving lightning pulses and trails across an endless valley. A glowing veil that burned with a touch hotter than fire, bleeding over conjoined limbs. Energy lashing into boiling veins, consuming everything in its path, scorching the very fabric of reality.
A deafening crack from the earth, scattering shattered glass beneath the grip of the vice. White hot fire erasing galaxies of far off realities until only the rolling hum of deep baritone shaking the earth to its very roots could be sensed. Soft white rose petals falling all around onto a field of clover.
Hissing shadows dragging and pulling into a never-ending void.
Nothing.
~~~~~~
Your body burned, aching and shaking slightly, slowly opening your eyes, whining the moment it shined on you. You felt like everything in you was refusing to function as your senses slowly returned to you. You lay still for a while before a voice slowly registered in your head.
“Mom? I’m back…”
You turned your head towards the voice, feeling your limbs creak from the effort. You immediately noticed bright blue eyes and fluffy white hair. You were almost confused by the youthful face before everything clicked into place.
“Killua..?”
“Mom, you’re awake!”
“You came back…”
“Yeah. I didn’t do well in the hunter exam… But I heard what happened… Piggy told me when I got back.”
“Be nice to your brother. I know you and Milluki don’t get along, but please try. Wait… What do you mean 'what happened?’ Did something happen?”
“Mom…”
Killua’s face seemed to twist in pain for a moment and his beautiful blue eyes watered. He was silent for a moment longer, looking down at the ground. You reached out, gently cupping his face with a sore arm, noticing lightning like marks running across your skin. He reached his hand up to rest over yours and you realized he was sitting in a plain chair.
The room you were in was completely foreign to you, with stark white walls and buzzing fluorescent lights. You knew every mark and crack and indent on the walls of your room, and this was not your room. The marks on your skin were a burning white that stood out against your (s/c) flesh, another oddity in this strange new place.
“He did this to you… I shouldn’t have left. I just didn’t know something like this would happen.”
“Killua… Please tell me, what happened?”
“You really don’t know?”
“…”
“He… He broke your-”
The sound of a door opening cut Killua off and you turned your head towards the direction of the sound. Standing in the doorway was an unfamiliar woman. She had grey hair and wore a tuxedo similar to what the other butlers you’ve met would wear. She had deep wrinkles in her face and was rather surprisingly curvy.
“It seems your usual treatment of having your children near was effective. I shall go retrieve master Silva.”
She turned and left as swiftly as she had come and you felt even more confused as she had left the door open. You noticed your lack of a collar or chain and surprise shot through you. No restraints? Wide open door? What the hell had happened?
“Kill, explain quickly. What is going on?”
“Father… He hurt you. Your spine and hips… They were shattered. Doctors rebuilt them, but your legs will never be the same. I don’t know if you can even walk anymore. You’ve been unconscious for a while.”
“How long is a while?”
“Too long.”
A painfully familiar voice made your gaze return to the door. Silva walked in with long strides, followed by that strange woman, Zeno, and to your surprise, Milluki. Silva looked different, dark bags under his eyes, more gaunt than usual, hair disheveled… It almost seemed like he had stopped taking care of himself while you were unconscious.
You moved to sit up, wincing and letting out a soft cry of pain as you only made it so far, falling back into bed. A large hand slid under your upper back, lifting you into a sitting position before laying you back against a firm chest. You recognized this embrace, and though you still didn’t fully know what had happened you felt vague comfort from the support.
“Looks like you’re still alive, brat.”
The biting tone of Zeno reached your ears and you couldn’t help the tired smile that pulled at your lips.
“You can’t get rid of me yet, old man.”
He grinned, a familiar kind of grimace that most would misconstrue as a sneer, but you knew that was Zeno’s true smile and he was actually rather pleased. A huff came from Silva and you didn’t even have to look to know he was frowning in disapproval at his father.
He disliked the teasing and familiar way you both spoke to each other, but he knew his father was no threat to him. His father was much like him, having found the only creature he could love and kept her as long as he could. Though Zeno’s love had died young, he still understood the bond Silva had to you.
“How do your legs feel, Mama? Do they feel?”
You looked up at your second eldest, seeing his eyes gleaming curiously at you. He was snacking on a bag of chips and stood at the foot of your bed, offering some of the salty snack to you. You were the only one he would ever share his food with, and you silently took one chip from the bag.
“I made the attachments that are on your spine. They’re better than anything that can be bought. They should give you feeling and mobility back, but it likely is going to be a long adjustment.”
“I… Feel something in my legs. Not sure what it is, but it’s better than nothing. Thank you, sweet-heart.”
Milluki beamed happily at your praise, his chubby cheeks having a gentle red tint to them. It surprised you he was present, as Silva had told you Milluki rarely left his room and hasn’t left the estate since he was very young. He was present now, so it at least told you that he cared for you even though he was fairly selfish with everyone other than Silva.
“Mama, you should try to walk. Papa’s been unhappy without you in your room.”
“That’s enough, you and Killua, go sit outside.”
Milluki quickly silenced himself at the low displeased rumble from his father, looking away in embarrassment. He quickly tottered after Killua who gave you a sad backwards glance before leaving the room, the door closing behind them. Silva let out a low hum, now it was only you, him, Zeno, and that woman.
“You may never have full mobility again. I will allow you to have a wheelchair for now, however.”
“How gracious of you.”
“I could let you have nothing.”
“Bite me.”
“Later. For now, I will allow you out of your room, so long as I am with you. Tsubone will be taking over as your doctor as well.”
You were surprised by the sudden realization that Silva actually said that he would allow you outside more often. But you only had to wonder why he would allow this now, and then it dawned on you.
“You’re only letting me out because I can’t run from you anymore.”
“That’s part of it.”
“So you broke my spine and pelvis to keep me here? I haven’t even tried to run in decades, what the fuck?”
“I didn’t break them intentionally.”
“Then what the hell happened?”
He let out a long sigh, slowly tracing the stinging marks on your arm. He remained quiet and your patience was running low.
“Silva, tell me what happened.”
“For the first time ever, he lost control of his nen. The brat was too busy having a good time and his nen got away from him.”
“Nen?”
“Think of it like chakras or the energy of your soul. It can be used to do many things depending on what kind it is. But, if someone has all of their nen suddenly released, it can end poorly. That can only be triggered by nen from another person. In this case, Silva. And when he lost control of his nen, it electrocuted you as well.”
“…”
You looked at the marks on your arms, watching him trace them as Zeno explained what happened.
“So… Whatever happened to, 'never hurt me again?’ Because it seems untrue.”
“I already told you, I had no intention of hurting you. The marks will heal, with time… And Tsubone will be teaching you how to control your nen so it won’t hurt you again.”
“Tsubone?”
“That would be me, my lady.”
You looked over and saw the woman from before was the one talking to you, she was polite and seemed to be a rather calm person. It was surprising that Silva was entrusting her with teaching you, as he disliked anyone even looking at you.
“You’re actually letting someone else look after me while you’re busy? Wow. I must have terrified you.”
“You don’t even know the half of it…”
“I think I do. I’ve almost died before, and you usually-”
“Stop. Stop talking about dying. I can’t. I can’t lose you. I refuse to.”
“Is that why you haven’t slept?”
“…”
“Seems you know him pretty well. He hasn’t been sleeping at all. The brat has barely left your side or taken care of himself.”
“(Y/n), don’t ever do this to me again.”
You nodded, accepting things for the moment as you faintly wondered just what was going to happen now that your mobility was so limited.
~~~~~~
As Killua was home, and you assumed for not very long, you decided to have your one hour with him.
You managed to argue and negotiate with Silva to allow Killua as a freebie due to his disappearance and to see Illumi for the hour without needing to repay him, as consolation for him breaking your pelvis and spine. You also had more than an hour with Milluki as he was the one who built the attachments to your spine. Silva wasn’t thrilled with the idea that you got away with twelve hours, but he did feel remorse for what he had done. It seems in that one lapse of judgement, he had forgotten that you are rather small and fragile in comparison to his sturdy frame.
Killua was all too happy to spend time with you, resting in your warm embrace. For once, you were out of your room, collar still attached, but now relaxing against the large couch in Silva’s study. The couch was different, but the room remained mostly the same. After all, this was the first room Silva had taken you.
One of the gigantic dogs lay around the back of the couch, sleeping in your peaceful company. He smiled as he lay his head against your chest, eyes closed and smile on his face as he spoke to you about the exam. He was upset with Illumi for ruining it for him, but he had also made a new and strange friend.
Silva sat on the couch as well, laying back and listening to Killua’s stories. Surprisingly, he was not glaring or counting the moments until you were only his again. He sat with one large arm on the back of the couch, leaning against his curled fist with his body facing the two of you.
For once, he seemed to be truly content with sharing your affections with his son. He may favor Killua, but he usually became jealous of the boy as well, not wanting your attention stolen from him. Now he just listened to the stories your middle child, watching you coddle the boy contently.
“It sounds like you had quite the adventure, Kill. And it seems you even made a friend. Maybe I can meet this 'Gon’ one day.”
“I don’t think that will be happening…”
“Doesn’t matter. You made a friend, and that’s all that matters to me.”
“But, mom, Illumi says assassins don’t make friends.”
“Well, Illumi doesn’t really like other people. And he probably feels responsible for you since you are his little brother. He’s had to be quite the protector with you and your siblings running around.”
“But I don’t need him watching me all the time!”
“Killua, do not raise your voice at your mother.”
The deep voice that hummed out made Killua stiffen, remembering that his father was still there and was watching him closely. Silva may have let there be a bit of slack in his rules, but you were still his number one priority, and Killua knew it. There was no question in the boy’s mind that if he showed any potential threat to you or a threat to the hold Silva has on you, he would be killed by his own father.
So instead he went quiet, letting his mother soothe and gently rock him, as if he were still an infant. There is something very vulnerable about the gentle motions of being cradled and rocked. Especially when you are a very touch-starved assassin. Gentle touches don’t exist in such a life, but here his sweet mother was, still soft and gentle even with all she has endured.
“Leave him alone, Silva. I’d rather hear him yell than not talk at all.”
Killua adored you and any contact he could have with you, because you never worried about what he may have done or who he may have hurt. You just gently held him as a mother would and there was little comparison to the rush of serotonin that flooded his brain. You were safety and there was no questioning the validity of your love.
Perhaps that is why Silva held so tightly to you. Perhaps that gentle touch of yours was the first kind touch he had ever felt in his life. You didn’t hesitate to cradle his arm as you wrapped the bandages. You didn’t flinch away from his intense gaze. You didn’t callously tell him to get over the pain he was in and push past it.
You saw someone worth saving in him and you helped. A complete stranger helping anyone they come across. It was certainly what played into Silva’s lasting interest and affection.
“Killua, will you be honest with me?”
“Of course, mom. I’d never lie to you anyway.”
“Do you want to leave here and travel with your friend?”
The question clearly caught Killua off guard as his eyes widened, body stiffening. What does he say? Perhaps he should say that he found actual companionship and he doesn’t want to let it go. Or he could say that he feels more comfortable out of the estate than inside of it. Maybe that he was actually really happy about going out.
“Yes… But it isn’t because-!”
“Shh, I know. I’m your mother, I practically know everything about you.”
“Does… Does that make you sad, mom?”
“It makes me happy. I want you to see the world with a friend at your side. I will miss you, of course. I miss all of my children when they aren’t with me. I approve of your right to go travel as you wish.”
“As do I.”
Silva’s baritone startled the two who had been peacefully chatting on the couch, both having forgotten he was there.
“You- you really don’t mind?”
“Of course not, Kill. I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to feel trapped here without any choice or say in the matter. I want you to be free to choose a path for yourself.”
A heavy tension rest in the air, the meaning behind your words understood by everyone present. You had accepted the painful truth long ago, but it seems no one else had. Silva refused to address the fact you were still a captive, and Killua avoided that topic all together. But you didn’t.
You had no issue bringing up the truth, even if everyone else did. There is a level of resignation that comes with years of the same routine, until everything just becomes a pointless fact. Hell, you even accept the messed up affection your captor gave you, when by all rights you should still be revolted by his presence.
“Thank you, mom.”
~~~~~~
Illumi. Your first-born. Your baby. Your illumination in the dark.
Illumi, as your first-born, held a special place in your heart. Especially since caring for him was what brought you out of your husk-like state. He was your eldest, but he would always be your baby.
As stoic and unresponsive as Illumi was, he always allowed you to cuddle him and to treat him like a child. To brush his hair and kiss his forehead, and other things of that nature. He was your baby and you would be damned if you were going to give up any time with him.
He currently sat before you, eyes closed and head tilted back as you ran your fingers through his hair. You were most at peace when you were able to just have this moment to be a mother. He didn’t protest as you pulled back on his shoulders so he rest against your chest as you continued to play with his hair.
You could practically hear Silva grinding his teeth in frustration, wanting you to behave that gently with him. You never initiated affection with your husband, only ever with your children. It bothered him to no end.
He was frustrated and almost always starving for attention, thinking back to when you had so gently treated his wounds so long ago. Your eyes held no irritation or displeasure, only kindness and sympathy. He wanted you to touch him with that gentle affection that you seemed to reserve for your children.
It wasn’t like they were better off either, though. In the entire household, there was little to no physical contact unless they were fighting. There was no affection or gentle support from anyone… Other than you, of course. Your five children truly only ever felt such kind affection when around you and they craved it as much as their father did.
One of the few forms of contact that did not bring pain with it. Illumi adored you and would kill anyone for you- even his father- if you asked him to. Indeed, there was loyalty engrained in him to the family, but none of that loyalty could reach the level of true affection he felt for you.
Even though he was 27 at this point, there was still such an innocent joy that filled him as you hum to him, letting him lay back against your chest and just rest for a moment. He occasionally wondered what his life would have been like if you were the only one to raise him. If you were allowed to be the loving mother you were, without any restriction on time.
Odds are, he would be a very different person if that were the case.
~~~~~~
Silva gently set you on the bed you two shared. You were exhausted and trying to get control over your legs once more was brutal and unforgiving. You just wanted to rest now, hoping beyond hope that Silva would just let you be. You had been healing, albeit slowly, but still healing. Silva was behaving as he does when you’re pregnant; helping himself to your milk, but resisting his temptation to fuck you.
Your flesh and bones were practically healed, leaving jagged scars where they had been, your condition improving surprisingly quickly. But, your body being structurally healed meant you were healthy enough in Silva’s eye to do as he wished. Naturally, that meant being allowed to touch you and take you once more. You simply hoped he would just let you be for a little while longer, but as he lay down beside you, you felt his lips slowly trailing over your neck.
“Silva… No. I’m tired. Just let me rest, okay?”
“I’ve been letting you rest. I have needs as well, you know.”
“Sex isn’t as important as letting my bones heal!”
He let out a low growl at this, pinning your hands above your head. He wasn’t going to stop. You knew that. But you could make him be more gentle with you for the next few days.
“Silva… Please… Just be gentle.”
“I promise nothing.”
You let out a whimper, intentionally working yourself up enough to make tears form. If he truly cared about you and your comfort, your next words should be enough to stab him in the heart ten times over.
“Why? Why are you torturing me? Why are you hurting me? Am I just not enough for you anymore..?”
“(Y/n), that’s unfair-”
“You’re unfair! I do what you want all the time! I play your games, I stay here trapped, I haven’t tried to leave in 27 years, I had my spine and pelvis broken by you! Doesn’t that count for something? Doesn’t that mean anything to you? No… No, it’s okay… I get it… I understand if you don’t love me anymore…”
You looked away from his stunned expression and closed your eyes, feeling just a bit guilty for manipulating him like this. You felt his grip become gentle, one arm moving to wrap around your back, pulling you close to him. Your injuries met a warm and relaxing hand, making them burn less, the hand on your thigh moved to cup your cheek.
“(Y/n), open your eyes for me.”
You let your eyes open, surprised at how sweet and gentle he had suddenly become. His expression was soft, his blue eyes half-lidded, his hair spilling down his shoulders and lightly resting on your marked-up body. He kissed your neck, instead of biting it.
“It is never my intention to torture you. You know I will never let you go, not with how ensnared my heart is. I feel very little, it’s my job to feel nothing. But with you, I’m engulfed by emotion. I can’t bear to think about losing you.
"You do know that I will not last a year without you, right? I won’t lose you. I can’t lose you. You are mine, and as much as I hate to admit it, I am yours. I adore you. When I heard your hips shatter, I thought I had actually killed you. I thought I would never see you open your eyes again. I thought I murdered the one creature I care about in this life. The only one I’ve ever loved.”
He moved to press his forehead against yours, gazing into your eyes with adoration. He locked his lips with yours slowly moving his hand from your cheek to the back of your head, kissing you deeply.
“I thought I lost you. I did not sleep while you were unconscious… I rarely ate or drank. I couldn’t. I couldn’t do those things knowing you were not able to do the same. Knowing I was the reason you were hurt. I know I won’t live long after you… When you…”
He let out a soft sigh, leaving his sentence unfinished. Instead, he simply rest his forehead in the crook of your neck, breathing softly. If you didn’t know any better, you would almost entertain the idea that he was fighting back tears. Silva didn’t cry. You didn’t think he could.
But somewhere in his smooth breathing, there was a small hitch. The soft stutter of an emotion you couldn’t place. It almost felt like you imagined it.
“… I’ll never do this again, so cherish it.”
You wanted to ask what he was talking about, but he moved so he was beneath you and you were on top of him. You we’re stunned. After literal years, this is the first time he has ever allowed you to top. You were almost too surprised to move, but Silva was impatient, gripping your thighs gently.
“Come here, (y/n). I want to taste you first…”
You were about to ask what he meant before he pulled your pussy to his mouth, holding you there. Your legs were on either side of his head, spread out just enough so that you were pressed tightly to him. You gasped sharply, your hips twitching and bucking against the strokes of his tongue.
“A-Ah~! Silva!”
You mewled and moaned the sensation, his bright eyes watching you as you struggled. His tongue pushing in and out of your heat, making you instinctively grip his long strands. His growl of pleasure telling you he was beginning to get even more riled up from the act of eating you out.
“St-ah-stop..! Silva! Fuck… If you keep doing that, I’m gonna-”
A cry left your lips as you arched your back, squirting out your release and coating his mouth. As you panted and attempted to breathe, Silva continued to lick at your warm heat in long slow strokes. You mewled softly and tried to pull away, needing a moment for your sparking nerves to calm down.
He seemed hesitant to release you, but eventually allowed you to move from his grasp. You panted softly, moving back to his hips and laying on his chest to take a moment. He slowly began to rub your back, helping you calm down.
You could tell he rather desperately wanted to take back control, but he held himself back, letting you do as you wished. Somewhere in your mind, you wanted to refuse to ride him, but then again… When would he ever give you the chance to torment him again?
Plus you knew his frustration that would result from you refusing him. Besides, as much as you tell yourself otherwise, you actually did care about him and this was the first time it was your choice to have sex. Not his. He was always the one starting things, and now it was your turn.
Swallowing your false hatred you relaxed, moving back to allow his stiff length to enter you. He was just as big as always, but something about the position or angle changed the feeling entirely. You couldn’t stop the sweet moan that fell from your lips, nails slightly digging into his chest.
It didn’t take long for you to start moving your hips, setting a pace that you wanted instead of the pace that Silva wanted. Silva let out low and husky growls of pleasure, placing his hands on your hips, lazily bucking up to meet you.
He wanted to pull you down into his thrusts and take you with reckless abandon. But the slightly rough feeling of your hips beneath his fingers gave him pause. They used to be smooth and even under his grip, but because of his careless actions they were now scarred and the bone was rough. And it was his fault.
He hurt you. Now it came to him in full force, as he had tried pushing the thought away time and time again. But with the undeniable proof beneath his fingers, he couldn’t just push it away. Your bones had crunched like glass beneath his grip and he didn’t even notice until you stopped moving.
There was a true pain that came with remembering what he had done to you, and the uneven bones beneath his fingers would remind him of what he did. How he hurt you.
You were moaning softly as you moved, feeling as if it were the first time you actually made love with him. It had been near mindless sex every other time. A way to relieve the stress and space out for just a moment. But this, this was completely different.
Now you were the one sliding that hot length in and out of you. Feeling practically every movement, every twitch, every little rivet that thick head brushed against. It wasn’t mindless pleasure, it was methodical love.
You couldn’t help the mewls and moans that escaped your lips, or the faster way you bounced your hips. The need for release building up in you, feeling your heat tighten around the already straining length. You continued to increase your pace, tilting your head back and panting breathlessly.
You felt his length begin to twitch more frequently, angling your hips so that bulbous tip bashed against the entrance to your womb. You forgot about the pain in your hips. You forgot about the tension in your limbs. You forgot about all things that bothered you.
Now it was only the two of you. You bouncing rapidly with his pulsing length inside of you, and him watching your pleasured expressions as you rode him. His large hands gently held your own, fingers laced together in a surprisingly vulnerable moment. The pleasure that rose up in your chest was far beyond any you had felt before, practically bursting from your skin.
You cried and panted, finally reaching that climax you were so desperately yearning for. Nearly sobbing from how intense and delicious your release was, feeling Silva’s warm seed pump into you as you shook from your pleasure. You kept your fingers locked with his, mewling softly as you slowly rode out your high, blushing deeply.
You felt so different for once in 28 years. You truly felt loved.
~~~~~~
Silva lay silently with you curled up in his arms, sleeping with a peaceful expression on your face. He hadn’t slept all that much in the past few weeks, but still it was more than he slept after the incident.
How could he have lost control like that? Was he really that foolish, to almost kill the one thing that matters to him?
He was so lost in the delicious feeling of being buried inside of you that he hadn’t even heard your cry. He didn’t even notice the electricity running over his skin, fueled by his nen that he so carelessly let get away from him. Realization of what he had done hit him harder than any pain that he had ever experienced.
He couldn’t feel his heartbeat or suck in a single breath, he was numb. Everything came rushing back to reality all at once and his world came crashing down around him.
His angel, his love, his life, his everything lay limply in his arms. No matter what he did, he received no response. He was inconsolable and downright refused to leave your side for long, not sleeping the entire time you were out.
Twelve days.
You were out for twelve entire days. And he rarely left your side the entire time. His eyes burned from refusing to blink, his back ached from sitting in that stupid chair, his mind whirled with your lifeless visage.
The few times he agreed to leave your side, he insisted on keeping track of your heart-rate monitor. Staring at it intensely even when his wayward son returned. He didn’t even register that Killua had come back. He just spent his days watching you, or the monitor.
The way his heart squeezed when he learned of your awakening. How he was thrilled with the knowledge you had awoken, but furious that he was not by your side when it happened. No, it was Killua who had been there. It should have been him. He should have been the first one you saw when you woke.
He wasn’t going to let it happen again. In his stress of potentially losing you again, he would often lay awake and keep watch.
But… With the beautiful things that your nen created, he found a sense of peace. You didn’t even realize that you had used your nen when you came, because you were almost immediately asleep afterwards.
The small shapes gently spun in a 3d space with an unearthly shine only ever seen in the night sky. Small crystals suspended in the air like stars, shining celestial bodies in space.
The night sky trapped within the heart of the small woman who always watched it. Her raw emotions triggering her nen to form the stars she loved to look at. Bright pinpricks of light with a center barely over five centimeters dancing through the open air of the room.
She couldn’t go outside under the stars as she wished, so the brought the stars inside. Dreaming beneath the stars she adores so much.
~~~~~~
“Momma!”
You smiled warmly at the cheer, chuckling when the little child ran directly at you, arms out wide. Alluka was not as young as Kalluto, but she was far behind Kalluto in social graces (if a Zoldyck could be social). Her smile was wide and could practically light up a room with how utterly excited she was.
“Hello, my darling. How is my precious girl?”
You ignored Silva’s scoff- as he still refused to refer to Alluka as a she- and instead picked up your second youngest, smiling as she giggled. She was always an unusual one and certainly was not a typical Zoldyck. In fact she behaved more like you did before you were kidnapped.
“I’m really happy, Momma!”
“Yeah? And why’s that?”
“Because I get to see you!”
You couldn’t stop the elated smile that pulled at your lips, seeing Alluka’s bright eyes gleam with joy. She was always so sweet, even when her father was so unkind to her. You felt a rather interesting familiarity with her as she was also not allowed to leave the estate, staying locked up.
Actually, now that you think about it, the only times she was allowed out of her room was when she came to your room. It saddened you to know that one of your children suffered as you did, but somewhere in your heart you hoped she would be free one day.
“I’m always happy to see you, my darling.”
You smiled, carefully picking her up so you wouldn’t agitate your still sensitive skin and bones. She happily allowed you to lift her into your arms, nuzzling her face into your neck and humming. It took a bit longer than usual for you to carry her with you to the couch, but you were relieved at the chance to sit down with her.
“Why are you hurt?”
You were surprised by the sudden question from Alluka and the serious tone she took. Her eyes were now locked with yours and they seemed to gleam in an oddly mature way.
“Just got a little injury doing something, sweet-heart, don’t worry.”
“… Why did he hurt you?”
The question almost felt like it hit you in the gut, making you stare at her in surprise. There’s no way she could have known that it was Silva who hurt you. No possible way. No one would tell her, since Silva himself kept it rather secret and only a few had even seen you before.
“What do you mean, sweety?”
“Why did dad hurt you?”
You could hardly speak, surprise sparking through you with a near concerning pace. How did she know? Who could have told her?
“He didn’t-”
“Yes, he did! Don’t lie, momma.”
“Alluka… Yes, he did hurt me. He didn’t mean to.”
“But he still did it.”
“Yes…”
“… Are you sure he loves you?”
Silva was rigid as cold iron, his entire body tense and his jaw clenched tightly. You, Zeno, and Maha were the only ones who could talk that way about or towards Silva without repercussions, and you could tell your husband was furious. In a way to shield Alluka, you wrapped your arms around her, nervously glancing at Silva.
“Yes, honey. I’m sure.”
“Do you love him?”
“I-”
You honestly didn’t know how to respond to her question, your eyes wide in surprise. You had never actually said that you loved him when he didn’t force you to. He had said multiple times how he adored and loved you, but you had never verbally reciprocated. Hell, you hadn’t even been forced to say it for a good ten years at the least.
You always told your children how much you loved them, but Silva? Had you ever even said it honestly? Did you honestly love him?
You had every damn reason to hate him and to refuse any affection towards him. But did you hate him? After 28 years your hate had dwindled to near non-existent and you actually became rather close with him. Then again, who else were you honestly close with?
“Yes… Yes I do, Alluka. I love him.”
“Does he scare you?”
“Not as much as he used to.”
“But he still scares you?”
“… Yes.”
She went quiet at this and nodded, closing her eyes and leaning against you. You glanced up at Silva to see what his anger was at due to Alluka’s words, but to your surprise he looked… Stunned? Happy? Emotional?
It confused you to see his expression so different from the enraged it had been before. You decided to just take it as a good thing seeing as he had been distracted from Alluka’s pointed questions. Hopefully you were right in reading his emotions, wanting to keep your daughter safe.
~~~~~~
You watched as Alluka was lead away by butlers, back to wherever she was being held in the maze of an estate. But as the door close, arms suddenly wrapped around your form, one large hand under your chin, tilting your head back. You saw Silva’s bright blue eyes seemed to be shining in a way, the slit pupils blown completely wide.
“Silva what-?”
“You said it.”
“What did I-?”
“You said it for the first time without me forcing it from you. You confessed that you love me.”
His voice was damn near a low purr in his throat, now realizing why he was so elated. Had he been keeping track too? Keeping track of when you say you love him. Given how obsessed and possessive he was, he must be over the moon with joy from you saying what he’s been waiting years to hear.
“Say it again. I need to hear you say it to me.”
“I… Silva, I love you.”
He let out a pleased moaning snarl that could likely be heard around the estate, one large hand easily slipping into your pants and harshly rubbing you.
“Again.”
“I love you.”
He was already rock hard against you, rutting his hips into you for some friction. His fingers already sunk deep into your heat, working you up into a rapidly approaching orgasm.
“Again!”
“I love you.”
“AGAIN!”
“I love you, Silva!”
He had to unbutton his pants and allow his straining erection to be freed due to how tight his confines had become. He was already close to cumming all over your back at that point, just hearing your soft voice say such a thing to him. It wasn’t long until that painful need broke, wrenching a deep moan from his throat as he came white ribbons all over your back, pumping his fingers and bringing you to orgasm as well.
Nothing mattered to him more than you did at that moment. Not the clothes he ripped from your bodies. Not the cum that stained the floor. Not the anger he felt towards Alluka. Nothing.
All that mattered to him at this point, was fucking you into the ground as he had you repeat those three words over and over again. Each time sending a shot of dopamine directly into his brain.
“So good… Again!”
“I love you!”
And you truly did. Even after everything he had done, he had somehow made you love him.
♡Synopsis: Izuku realizes that there's more to just loving you. It's also loving what you could do to him.
♡Word Count: 4.8k
♡Warnings: Abuse, non-con mention, choking, biting, death, light gore
♡A/N: Didn't really like the ending to this story but I did work really hard! @angrymurderchild
You spent the next week in various stages of emotions. You couldn't help the underlying worry for Shinsou as he had stopped showing up to school all together. You had contacted him, his parents and even walked by his neighborhood to see if you can spot him. It never did any good, however. It was like he stopped existing. Part of you reasoned that it was his also secret training with Aizawa, or that he dropped out. The other part of you knew this wasn't true. Shinsou would never give up his dream and he would've surely told you if that were the case.
You were worried for his safety.
You were also starting to worry about your quirk. After training, it's side effects would kick in but since that day with Deku in the cafeteria, only that single monstrous beast would appear constantly. It loomed over your shoulder, whispering horrible things in your ears. During your break, you found it sitting in front of you, staring at you with eyeless sockets. It reeked of old meat, and it's skin looked wet and mushy, and hung like flabby skin. You didn't dare speak to it.
The most noticeable thing about this creature is that everytime Midoriya was near, it would quietly latch onto him. There were various instances where Midoriya would snap you out of the horrible illusion that the monster was abusing the green bean. It said sadistic things, almost in an embarrassed manner. Needless to say, your mental stability was wavering but nobody said a word to you. Not even Aizawa who would usually take notice, turned his attention on forcing you to create these creatures.
“You know…?” Izuku coughed, fidgeting with his fingers. His cheeks were a pink hue and his emerald eyes were focused on the table. You chuckled at his adorable behavior, head resting on your palm. “I don't mind a date with you. I'm sure it'll be fun.” his head snapped up and he stared at you as if you'd grown a second head. “Really? Oh that'd be great, I've wanted- for a while-” he ranted on and on, his fist clenched excitedly. You chuckled and stood up, on cue, the bell ringing. Izuku follows suit, catching up right beside you, continuing his excited rant.
Mouth opening to say something, you stopped, stiffening up. With a quick scan of your surroundings you barely realized something. The monster hadn't made its appearance this time. It was nowhere in sight, not only that but didn't feel sick at all. “What..?” you muttered, eyes moving left and right to catch a glimpse of the creature. It was almost ironic. Now that he was gone, you felt uncomfortable and on edge- it was easier when you had a clear view of him, that way you were at least prepared for something. “-especially since Shinsou is out of the way-” Izuku beamed, not even realizing what he was going on about.
You whipped around to look at him and paused. “..What..?” you choked, stopping in your tracks. He did the same around and stared at you with mute surprise. His mouth hung open as if he had just realized what he said. “Why is that important..? Do you love him or something?” His tone dropped a few pitches and his hands came up to his chest, fidgeting with his fingers. “You two always hung out, it was so..” he trailed off, finishing his sentence in a whisper. Both of you stayed in place as the rest of the students filled the noise.
Your eyebrows furrowed. You could've heard wrong right? Or maybe he just meant something else..? Of course Shinsou was your best friend, but you don't love him romantically! There was no way Izuku had something to do with Shinsou’s disappearance right? Izuku kept his eyes down at the ground, like a child being caught with something they weren't supposed to do. “Izu-” you started. “I AM HERE!” the strong, ear shattering voice of All Might cut through any words either of you would've said.
“All Might!” you both acknowledged, staring up at the tall muscular man with wide eyes. “Hello there young Midoriya, (Y/n)!” he waved. “Sorry for the interruption but I had to find Miss (Y/n) right away. I was wondering,” the teacher turned his attention to you and for a second, you could feel all the tension in your body wash away. Your over reeling thoughts and stresses seemed to disappear and you gave a questioning hum. “We needed your help with our class today. Your quirk seems suitable for our class to train against.”
Your quirk was useful? And against those who were training to become heroes? All Might spoke up before you said anything. “Aizawa has told me about the great work you've done. We wanted to try and use your monsters against our students. So, what do you say?” Izuku shifted besides you, looking up at the hero. “Right now? I'm not sure if it's okay for (Y/n) to-” a grunt escaped your lips and you stepped up, “I'd.. I'll do it.” you nodded. “Perfect! Follow me you two!” and the enormous man began to walk away.
Izuku whipped his head to stare at you, almost as if he was internally questioning your reasonings. “We’ll talk later Izuku.” you followed the teacher, the green haired male on your trail. “About Shinsou.” His face contorted and a look of shock ran over before it was replaced with one that made you shiver. It was like he was angry- but the type of anger that was being held back by a flimsy lock behind a door, ready to eat and destroy whatever had caused it. “Yes, (Y/n),” his tongue clicked. The same pit of worry built itself in your stomach. It was familiar, gut wrenching when you had asked if Shinsou was able to tag along on your date.
‘Now's not the (Y/n),’ you rubbed your left arm to calm yourself, watching as you three made your way out of campus and into their training facility built by Cementoss. “Wow,” you muttered, eyes scanning over the enormous building and it's inside layout. “Surprised? Heroes are trained endlessly to deal with disasters and villains, that's what this place is for.” All Might summed up, his hand patting your back as you were pushed in front of the class. Izuku stood by your side, obviously upset but he didn't leave you for a second. You could've mistaken him as being your other skin with how close he was.
“Hello zygotes! As you know, today's training will focus on dealing with criminals and villains with dangerous powers,” the number one hero gestured towards you, “This is where our Young (Y/n) comes in. She will be acting as our villain, trying to take you heroes down.” he chuckled. Oh fuck. You did not know what you were signing yourself up for. While Aizawa was training your quirk, you still hadn't reached any physical combat with him. You were about to get your ass kicked! A shaky breath left you, eyes dropping to the ground to avoid class 1-A’s stares.
That's when Izuku’s hand slithered into your own. He squeezed tightly- almost painfully so but he didn't budge at removing his hand. He was acting strangely, as though his anger was barely being controlled. It was almost scary if you didn't know him well. It was nothing to you. Izuku was still the same boy he had been yesterday, and the day before that. He was awkward, shy and submissive in an argument or fight with someone he cared for. He was still easily pushed to the ground and forced to beg to be left alone. So.. submissive.
“So, why don't young (Y/n), and young Midoriya take the lead.” All Might’s voice cut off your thoughts. Immediately both you and Izuku’s head whipped towards each other. “What-?” there was no way you could fight not. Not because he was your friend but because the monster that had been tormenting your every waking moment had his sights set on him. What would it do now if it was allowed to hurt Izuku? You opened your mouth and was tempted to back out. But it was too late. You watched as Izuku’s class hyped him up and surround the two of you so excitedly.
You breathed nervously, squeezing his hand as a sign and stepping away from him. “Okay.. I'll go.. easy, if something happens,” you turned to the teacher, “You have to stop me.” his smiling face twitched a bit, as if taking your firm, concerned voice seriously. “I'll make sure you're both safe Miss,” he confirmed. You nodded and took a deep breath. In front of you, Izuku’s face was shadowed his unruly messy hair. “I've done this kind of thing before Izuku,” you got into the familiar fighting stance Aizawa had taught you. “You don't have to worry about hurting me, Shinsou and I have sparred before.”
His head snapped up and he stared at you, “You two.. have sparred each other? Together?” his question went unheard by his peers as they only wanted to see a fight. “You and Shinsou have done everything together- hearing that (Y/n),” he trailed off. You began to get that awkward feeling in your stomach again, stepping back out of habit. His calm, cute demeanor did not make an appearance nor did it seem to be resurfacing any time soon. Why was it that even ever Shinsou was mentioned, Izuku loses his cool? You didn't understand and part of you didn't want to.
You were afraid if you dug too deep, you'd find something you wouldn't be able to keep secret.
A sizzle of energy zapped around Izuku’s body, covering him in it until he seemed accustomed to the change. “Shit,” you cursed, quickly activating your quirk. Your distraction had caused slow timing so Izuku was already in the air before you even had a chance to conjure up some monster. Narrowed eyes and raised hands, you thought of a centaur. It's scaly tail, the enormous sized body. Slowly it began to form. “Yes!” you shouted through clenched teeth. Only for it to disappear with your concentration. Izuku pushed you softly to the ground as it dropping you slowly himself and pushed away, his hands still raised.
Of course. Your poor, sensitive Izuku wouldn't fight anyone who wasn't trained in combat- you jumped to your feet and instead, dashed at him, surprising him with your speed. You punched and flailed with little experience, easily being overpowered by the boy and thrown over his shoulder. Her held your arm and kept you on the ground. “Please quit (Y/n), I don't like the idea of having to hurt you-” he cut himself off as if there was more he was gonna say.Perfect! His focus on you, you started to conjure something up with your eyes open. Something- anything. Whoosh! Izuku was tackled off of you and you bounced to your feet, raising your hands quickly to command your creature.
Only to be staring at your own face.
“What the fuck-” you gaped, feeling your stomach drop. Your exact form lay on top of Izuku, gym clothes, (h/c) hair.., but the familiar eyeless sockets were replacing your (e/c) orbs. Your eyes widened and immediately you tried to deactivate your quirk. It had Izuku pinned to the ground and had its hands around his neck, squeezing tightly. It was choking him. “(Y/n)!” All Might shouted, but you could only hear Izuku’s wheezing and panting. He struggled violently under the creature, kicking and flailing only for it to be in vain.
Your entire body felt frozen, unbeknownst to how violently you were being jerked around the students who were now panicking. They surrounded you, calling out your name. Your eyes stayed on Izuku. His face started turning blue and his movements became more sluggish, gasping and choking to get air. He was struggling so much. So much- and then you saw it. Bright red splattered against the boys cheeks, his eyes firmly closed. His body moved in rhythm. He was humping your monster. He was trying to hump you.
No one took notice of him, everyone in the room was too busy trying to stop you, forcing you down on you knees. But you couldn't feel them. You were only able to feel Izuku’s shaking hands reach up to caress your cheeks, feeling them trail down your shoulders and forearm before they fell limp to the ground. Oh fuck. He stopped moving. You inhaled violently, scaring everyone around you. They weren't even properly visible as tears started falling from your eyes. Was Izuku still even breathing? Was he even alive? Why hasn't anyone gone to check on him!?
You breathed in and out, feeling your lungs expand painfully. Despite the tears, you still managed to make out your monster standing up and looking down at Izuku. It tilted its head childishly as if waiting for him to stand back. It looked at its hands. You looked at yours. It grinned. You did the same, laughing inaudibly. Izuku was actually turned on. You clearly saw him trying to hump your monsters thigh. He looked so- erotic. So wrong. It looked so weird seeing such an innocent boy do that. Your innocent izuku.
The monsters head snapped towards you and you stopped breathing. Eyeless pits stared back and a slow, Cheshire grin made its eave across its- your- face. The blood drained from your face, stomach sinking. You like it. You had liked it. Oh my god- it had taken your form. It was copying you.
“(Y/n)!”
“Oh!”
You could feel the cold floor shoot needles through your cold skin. You hit the ground hard and fast, bouncing from it painfully. Finally, you thanked finally. The tears once again continued to flow, rushing over your nose and eyelid uncomfortably as you were laying down on the ground. “All Might, get Midoriya to the infirmary now, I'll take care of (L/n),” Aizawa commanded, leaving little room for the bigger man to say anything. Instead your trainer took you in his arms, his eyes wide and glowing as his quirk was activated to stop yours.
“Oh god I'm sorry,” you sobbed, squirming around. “I know,” he whispered, rocking you back and forth like a parent to its terrified child. “I didn't mean to do that- I don't know-” you gripped at his clothes, sniffling and choking your words. You were a monster. You are the monster. Guilt easily swept over you, an indescribable feeling of shame and fear washing over your shaking form. “I know, I know. You're going to be fine. It's okay, calm down.” the teacher reassured gently, his hand patting your back soothingly. The rest of the students scattered around, watching you or looking on as Izuku was taken away to Recovery Girl.
Your teacher's eyes locked with yours,trying to get your attention. “It's okay, it was an accident, I'll take you to Recovery Girl.” with that he picked you up and held you protectively, ignoring the monster that suddenly dispersed into the air. Your eyes opened and shut, feeling the exhaustion hit you full force. You stopped moving and stopped crying, only having your eyes drift open and closed. “Izuku-” you wanted to say. You weren't even sure if you were saying anything.
You eyes closed and the noise ceased.
"You need to try harder than that Izuku," You teased, a playful smile on your face. He stuttered, dropping his guard and allowing you to sweep his leg. He hit the ground with a thud and you immediately rolled over him, your hips and legs pinning him down by his stomach while you gripped his wrists to his right. A half-hearted grunt escaped him and he averted his eyes, relaxing his body. "You're.. you're right," he chuckled. Once again, his cheeks turned a scarlet red mimicking the same red hue they seemed to produce every time you spared.
You stared down at him, not finding anything funny about the situation. It happened frequently, almost as if he were leaving himself wide open intentionally. During your sparring, he would purposefully leave an open spot. You wondered if he was going easy on you. Irritation nipped at your core and soon you began to hurt him much more aggressively. You slammed him on his ass, throwing him over your shoulder, punching, kicking. No matter how hard you tried, it didn't feel like you were getting anywhere.
“Look, Izuku,” you huffed, pushing off of him and crossing your arms. “If you're not gonna take this seriously then don't bother calling me to spar.” the annoyance clearly poured into your voice because Izuku winced, having just gotten up from the ground. “I get that I'm not as strong as you but- let me remind you I kicked your butt in front of everyone. The least you could do is take this seriously.” The freckled boy nodded vigorously, his hands clenched, “Of course- i haven't forgotten,” he trailed off, his nervous habit making its appearance.
“It's just that, it makes me upset-” he looked down. Messy hair covering his features. You took a second to breath before stepping towards him. You couldn't understand where he was coming from. He had begun acting more clingy, persistent and praise-seeking. You had hours taken away from friends, your peace at home was short-lived as he had begun to visit you (despite you never giving him your address) and he took every opportunity to have you touching him. Not only was it frustrating, but it was raising various red flags. Especially after you had fought with him during his class period.
Aizawa had scolded All Might for having you join in the training and you were later scolded for not taking the safety measures you would commonly do. News of the incident spread over the school because of Izuku’s classmates. Now you were thought of as being “too aggressive,” or “almost villainous.” Usually these comments wouldn't bother you as much if Shinsou had been here. He wasn't. He hadn't been for almost an entire month. You have deluded yourself from thinking the worst and instead thought that he may have perhaps been scouted by a pro-hero or an agency.
But that was silly. Especially after you had confronted Izuku about him after he had recovered.
“You sparred with Shinsou. With him,” he clenched his fists. Looking up at you, you swallow fearfully, his green eyes now glowing almost menacingly. “You never sparred with me before. Now at least, I'm with you all the time. At least,” he stopped talking and sealed his lips. At least he's not here anymore, you finished silently. You both stood quietly before you stepped back and turned away. “Actually I have to go. My parents-” you were cut off, hearing the boys fast footsteps behind you, “are still working. They haven't gotten off their shift yet.” he said factually. Oh hell no. Wide (e/c) orbs stared into glowing green ones as he stood right behind you, hugging you tightly to his chest.
“Why did you lie to me?”
“I should get going,” you stutter, cursing yourself for stopping. He holds you tighter, shakily, burying his face into your neck. You heated up uncomfortably, worry pooling rapidly over you. “Were you planning on looking for Shinsou? Or maybe going to his house?” he squished you against him, his hold starting to become painful against your bare skin. “I don't like how you're always looking for him. He's a vill-” your elbow dug into his side, hearing him grunt. “He's my best friend! Something I'm starting to reconsider with you!”
His hold loosened and you pulled away from him immediately, glaring fiercely. You faltered, freezing up once more. Izuku, recovering from your blow, straightened, looking behind him at what you were looking at. Unlike you, he didn't see the eyeless creature that had taken your form peering over his shoulder. You salivate your dry mouth, trying to keep your voice firm. “You need to stop-” the creature put its hand on his shoulder, “acting like this. You're acting like- like I'm an object!” this time it started squeezing, and you took notice of the way the boys eye twitched, feeling a stinging on his shoulder. “like I'm yours! I'm not!” you finished your shout and exhaled angrily.
“Whatever happened to Shinsou, I'll be putting on you.” you ignored the way he flinched and instead whipped around and ran away. Only when you take a couple of feet did you take notice of the creature staring at you with its dominant arm around Izuku’s neck. “It's nothing, it'll leave,” you pant, turning away to ignore the immense guilt that washes over you. You don't see him the rest of the day.
You never make it home either. Opting to avoid your parents as to not make them suspicious of your current shaking body, you instead head towards Shinsou’s house. His familiar street brings you a little comfort and you walk into the steps. You knock on his door expectantly, stuffing your freezing fingers into the pocket hoodie. “Come on man,” you mutter. The feeling of your phone makes you pull it out and scroll through your contacts until you see your friends name. With a sigh, you press the call button and hold it against your ear.
…
…
What..? You pull your phone away and look around, narrowing your eyes. Why the hell were you hearing his phone ringing from inside? Anger found its way to you again and you resisted the urge to punch his front door. His parents car was in the driveway, so they would've heard you knocking. Why weren't they answering!? I'm getting a headache, you whine internally, feeling like crying. Was he just avoiding you? Is that why you hadn't seen him at all? You don't recall doing or saying anything offensive and Shinsou wasn't that petty.
You felt sick. What the hell was going on? “Shinsou!” you shout at his bedroom window, the blinds drawn. “Shinsou if you're there, you need to come talk to me! I really- i really need to see you.” you dropped your hands, drooping in defeat. Being.. being young was difficult. Being young and lost was difficult. The exhaustion that you had been ignoring for weeks had started to pile up and you could feel the angry sting of tears pooling in your eyes. You shut them tightly and rubbed them away furiously.
Now's not the time! You scowled. “Fine! If you're not coming out, then I'm going in!” you looked at the front door and, stretching out your body, “Sorry Mr. And Mrs. Shinsou.” The door creaked violently when it met with one of your creatures. It was poorly thought of, having been on the spot to give it any characteristics other that big. Under your command, it stepped back and rammed itself into the door. The wooden door broke in two, giving you an opening to slide into the house. Your creature disappeared and you crawled in, avoiding any splinters.
Making your way through was easy. Your best friend wasn't extremely rich but he wasn't poor either. They had a two story house with some small decor here and there. But the family wasn't anywhere in sight. “Shinsou..?” this time, your voice was not as confident, looking up at the stairs that led into a very dark hallway. Everything in my body is shouting at me to stop. But my friend… you inhaled and steeled your nerves, taking quiet and cautious steps. This was what you were trying to train for anyway! You needed to be brave for your friend right now.
Reaching the top of the stares, you noticed that none of the rooms had any lights turned on. It's okay, it's okay, you tried relaxing but the closer you got to Shinsou’s room, the more you feel your body stiffen up. He's fine. He's just around the corner, sleeping. He's sleeping, he's alright, he's- You opened his bedroom door, the creaking of wood making you wince.
“I've been waiting for you (Y/n),”
“Oh,” you could feel your heart stop entirely. Painful shivers running down your arms. “Why,” you whispered, “Why are… you here..?” you stiffened up, his surprisingly muscular arms wrapping around your neck and pulling you into his chest. He buried his face into your neck, trying to sooth your shaky body. “I'm here for you. I wanted to give him to you as a present.” his hot breath blew into your ear and unwrapping his arm, he pointed towards Shinsou’s bed.
You gasped. “Izu- Izuku.. what did you..!” you couldn't even breath, staring intently at the sight on the bed. Your vision started to fade, black spots appearing. But you could still make out the body under the covers. “Oh my-” your stomach squeezed itself, jerking up into you as you could feel your throat, nose and eyes start to burn. You violently tugged yourself away from Izuku’s arms, falling to your knees. Your body jerked, wanting to vomit out your food. “To be honest, I wasn't expecting you to find them yet. I really wanted to wait so that I'd have time wrapping them up for you.” he sighed as if speaking about a normal present.
“Especially since you've been distracted having all that training with me. I really do need to practice my time management more,” the familiar way he began to mutter wanted to make you think that what was going on was nothing more than a sick twisted dream. None of it was real. It couldn't be. Your sweet gentle Izuku wasn't standing inside of Shinsou’s bedroom and looking like a total maniac. Shinsou was just sleeping under those covers- you were just imagining the blood pooling over the sheets and onto the floor. It wasn't real. It's not real.
“Ghua-” you grunted, once again feeling your stomach churned painfully. “Why did you do this..!? Why are you!?-” you crawled away, vision blurring. The tears that had been kept seal had broken free, now rushing fast down your cheeks. “for you (Y/n),” Izuku shifted in place, his eyebrows raising. He spoke as if you were the one overreacting- like he hadn't just killed and slaughtered your best friend. “I love you.. so, so much, but..” he took a step towards you. “You were always so close to him. ‘Shinsou this’ and ‘Shinsou that,’” his knuckles cracked when he clenched them, once again, his angry disposition making appearance.
“He was my best friend!” you cried, voice cracking at the end of your sentence. “He was,” Izuku corrected angrily. “Don't you even see how terrible your words are? Don't you even see how much you hurt me!?” he stepped closer, only to drop to his knees in front of you. Tears welled in his eyes and his body began to shake. “How can you still love a villain- i'm the hero, don't you see?” he crawled to you, his hands being placed on your thighs and pulling you closer. “I'm- i just want you to hit me.”
You pulled away, feeling you were about to lose consciousness. “You're disgusting!” you shout, ignoring the way the boys flinched at your tone and words. “You don't mean that- you're lying! I just want you to hit me- like you have been doing during our training-!” he jumps at you again, this time pinning you to the ground. “Ever since that day, all I can think about is you pressing me against the floor. All I can think about is you hitting me, choking me.” he panted, his cheeks flushed red. “I can't- i can't-” you cried, feeling the skin of your wrists bruising from his tight grip. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't get your quirk to activate. “Your monster can't get in the way anymore tonight.” he said, dropping his mouth to your ear.
“What!?”
“Why do you think I let you do most of the work during training?” he kissed your neck, moving down to your collarbone and ignoring the ways you kicked and screamed. “I know exactly how your quirk works (Y/n), I've spent so much time with you. But I was always worried that monster you created would get in the way.” you blinked, your flailing movements coming to a stop. Your monster- your monster was.. trying to protect you. Fresh tears fell from your eyes, blinding you temporarily.
“Now, now,” Izuku chuckled, leaning up to lick your tears, “I'm here aren't i? I'm the only one you need.” you could practically feel the way your heart was slamming against your ribcage, your breathing to fast and short. Idiot. This was no longer your darling Izuku. Was he ever? You questioned. He raked his hands down your highs.
“We're together again, all alone. So please,” Your new monster lifted his blushing face and stared down at you with those familiar green eyes, “Please hit me.”
this is for @wingz16 was a Christmas gift, I'm leaving to go to Texas tomorrow, I wish i had time to color, do an actual background and color but i just didn’t have time :( I hope you enjoy it though!
gummygunk
origamiaround
ellievsbear
jbbartram-illu
theartofmadeline
annaxmalina
yousharknotpass
kianamaiart
