all art is mine unless stated otherwise . ASK BOX: OPEN 💛. pick your poison from the muse list, or leave it open-ended for any of them to interact 21 y.o. mun . mature/dark sfw subjects
metallic scorpion tail swishing unsure shortly before sidewinding around his bulky thigh, shyly, looped like a magical staircase danced around a pillar in the midnight .
his tail uncoiled with a rattle, barb tapping rhythmic against each coil unwound . it bent near its end, raised .
venomous , vile violence was shockingly absent from the towering scientist, however, dangerous weaponry of a tailing bent into a crook only so he could utilize the tip of its barb to scratch the back of his aft when he thought no one was looking .
Scorponok shrugged, large guns -- that looked tiny compared to his massive frame -- adorning shoulders swirling their barrels carelessly .
" just more voices in my head . great . this Really makes documenting my research easier . Scorponok is So happy ."
dryly droned through his nasal, Scorponok was Soooo happy . brimming with joy . fanged mandibles swing alongside his sigh, heavy frame shaking the ground as he lopes off, convinced he's simply stuck hearing more tiny, aggravating voices that he can't see ( because he's too tall ) ( or , perhaps, on the account of his big bosom , has a massive blindspot . )
he's a big fan of dancing , studying earth animal courting rituals & human expression. prior to his spark-embedded humancon experiment, he kidnapped babies &, to try & stop them from crying, would dance in front of them to induce joy .
however, he is Not very good at dancing .
Berlin's moves best describe his . . . ' Style, ' if you can call it that . The children tended to cry often, increasingly, after bearing witness to his horrors ( getting jiggy ) .
he's also gigantic . so that didn't ease the consciousness .
he's close to being slightly tolerable at the ' crab dance ' with his claws being the best support, but he may break a lightbulb then short-circuit the electricity through its accidentally clipped current .
with that attitude, you are not bagging astrotrain .
no wonder that astrotrain got a different huzz yo
“ . . . ‘ bag ? ' ..Astrotrain ? ”
Scarlet shadowed optics shift uncertainly around their shaded view, an unsure smirk sliding up his face like an undesirable snake lurked within Eden’s Garden.
“ . . do they even make bags big enough to fit that bitch ? “
lower jaw stayed static in its smile while his upper jaw & face flew backwards, unhinging deep into its gaping laugh, all the different kinds of dentae jammed disgustingly inside whirling & pulsating from his giggle that haunted exactly how hyenas cackled free in the wild. Bright, burning, liquid light disturbed its smelted lava, bubbling on one side, clashed against a torrid tundra of cold on the other, each element locked inside his body for an eternal struggle, shining when he spread his splitted smile.
His cracked open skull slammed shut, grimaced with a far more genuine frown .
“ No, seriously, what the frag does that oversized spark, & whatever newfound shitty excuse for being too soft to survive now, have to do with Me? Do I have to spell it out for you? Because- surprise, I can. It’s not that fucking hard, you should try it sometime. Maybe for Christmas, you should’ve asked for a book about the ABCs .”
His dentae rotated, flattened & unimpressed frown locked while his grimy innards slid around inside, switching which set he should settle on like a rich girl spinning through her futuristic closet to see whether she was feeling chartreuse or cyan today. The winner was a glaring middle gap denta.
“ You’re all starting to sound like Shockwave, which is an absurd comparison to even say aloud, since you’re all as dumb as a box of rocks, but, really, if you ask me, so is he, so I guess it actually makes sense .”
Snickering at the verbal shot he managed to score on the scientist, it’s about celebrating the little wins, sometimes, & Blitzwing Loves to Win . His snickering stops itself short, optics narrowed.
“ But I’ll tell you the same shit I’ve been telling him to try & get that aggravating, one-opticed, purple-people eater OFF my FUCKING back: I don’t give a DAMN about a SINGLE mech here, triple-changer, quadruple-changer, career changer, I DON’T CARE! They can do WHATEVER THE PIT THEY WANT WITH EACH OTHER! As long as it doesn’t fuck with ME or prolong their STUPID POINTLESS WAR, I REALLY *DON’T* care. I’m just here to take aft & kick designations aside, or- what..WHATEVER STUPID SCRAP MECHA SAY ! “
Smoke & visible cold swirled around the stubborn tankjet, squeaking as they popped up some of his rusted plating .
“ Our models being the same busted junk to be broken & brushed by when it inevitably breaks down itself doesn’t HAVE to make us all ‘buddy buddy’ & ‘OMP! Let’s form a ThErApY CiRcLe!!!!’ WHO GIVES a FUCK? This is WAR. This is BATTLE. I don’t HAVE any buddies in battle, & I don’t WANT any.
Comradery in the core of cruelty serves NOTHING but YOURSELF, just another decorated distraction for the bastards above to know we’re occupied & complacent with MORE than just CLASHING SWORDS. “
Blitz waved his half ice, half flaming scimitar as if it were nothing more than a toy, a toy that tore into anything it touches harshly.
“ ‘ oH! Well! YES! We ARE still trying to win the DOOMED YAOI wildfire right now, & YES! We STILL haven’t achieved anything of ACTUAL STRIDE geared toward ACTUAL SUCCESS JUST YET! Buuuuut! ….Now, you can clash your upstairs sword… AAND your …’ “
Salesmech tone that sounded similar to Swindle’s low silk softened with the animated ice etching in an arc across his visor, mimicking a cheeky wink before it melted.
“ ‘ INSERT AN AUTHENTIC I TOTALLY CARE ABOUT YOUR CONCERNS GASP HERE. … Downstairs sword. YEEEP! With your BEsT BUDDY! Because, apparently, working mech can have those now? WHAT!! This is CRAAzy! This is like when I learned cows can have best friends! HOW CUUUTEE, AWWW! Anyway, hope you stupid fucks have fun! I’m gonna go order five hundred Big Macs from McDonald’s now, comm me if you need meeee ! ….Don’t need me . ‘ “
Cartoonish croon having completed its sarcastic chastising, he sheathed his blade & set his servos on his tank treaded hips, glowering down with all the disgruntlement of a towering dragon disappointed at the wimpy knight sent to slay her.
“ So if the other triples wanna fuck around all their off day, hell, even fuck each other? They can do whatever the pit they want, it’s their life they’re wasting, & not my time, plus? How much waste is really wasting when it’s The Waste themselves wasting away? There’s a tongue twister for you, twerp. So, yeah, if they wanna twist tongues, it’s less jabber clogging my comms .”
He spat, arms crossing, wings relaxing from their waving fit.
They tensed shortly after, never really relaxed.
Not in here, not under another mech’s watch. Not unless he was showcasing why they shouldn’t watch too closely.
“ So what if I sit alone & they bother each other elsewhere on the few breaks we, & by we, I mean– I* managed to score for us-ME? It’s not like our schedules will magically always align themselves together for another 200 millenia again, it’d be pointless for us to meet ‘meaningfully’ once like it matters then never again until- fucking- forever. I know damn well that I’m not indulging in any deep conversations with a mech that finds TRAINS to be FUN . Mech offline like it’s going out of style, & I’m not wasting my TIME on WASTE ITSELF just so *I* can LIE to myself & SAY i’m ‘FULFILLED’ with my FUCK ass LIFE. This is WAR. I could be scrapped by spring & no one would sense a thing! THAT’S JUST HOW IT GOES. It doesn’t matter how loud you talk or how quiet or how many spikes you can suck at once to make mecha ‘not mind’ you, it’s WAR. We’ll be forgotten soon if we can’t tell our own story, & the only ones who can are, duh, the ones gripping the pen in a FIST. So, yeah, I don’t care. I really don’t. So what? So freaking what . Let them have a freak off. Let them fuck off! They are FRUITFLIES in the optic of WAR, and WAR is BLIND . “
Visor splitting, his fire heating up the glass & the instant cold lapping after it expanding the material chemically until it cracked, the edges of an icy blue optic bared frantic beneath its revealed fright.
Blitzwing twisted his body to the other side, wings raised above his broad back, physically cloaking his face .
“ I don’t care about Astrotrain. I don’t care about Octane, I don’t care what we’re doing, I don’t care how we got here, we’re just here now. & it doesn’t matter if we like it or not, or who likes who, or who doesn’t, because I don’t care.
& you’re lucky that I don’t, because you wouldn’t still be standing here with a helm on your shoulders if I did . “
Covering the crack in his visor with the scimitar he slid sharply, smoothly, from its scabbard, he knelt down on powerful thighs sculpted like a pro (football player), pointing out by his opposite servo & pressing an index digit into the other’s forehelm.
Pushing the helm back just by a teasing tap, mannered similarly to an older brother jabbing his point across, except the older brother had teeth that could cleave your brain from your skull if you kept crossing him.
“ Na’mean .”
( know what I mean ? )
He punctuated with another poke, smiling, simply reflecting the cadence without any real cruelty, contrasting the rough actions he displayed.
with that attitude, you are not bagging astrotrain .
no wonder that astrotrain got a different huzz yo
“ . . . ‘ bag ? ' ..Astrotrain ? ”
Scarlet shadowed optics shift uncertainly around their shaded view, an unsure smirk sliding up his face like an undesirable snake lurked within Eden’s Garden.
“ . . do they even make bags big enough to fit that bitch ? “
lower jaw stayed static in its smile while his upper jaw & face flew backwards, unhinging deep into its gaping laugh, all the different kinds of dentae jammed disgustingly inside whirling & pulsating from his giggle that haunted exactly how hyenas cackled free in the wild. Bright, burning, liquid light disturbed its smelted lava, bubbling on one side, clashed against a torrid tundra of cold on the other, each element locked inside his body for an eternal struggle, shining when he spread his splitted smile.
His cracked open skull slammed shut, grimaced with a far more genuine frown .
“ No, seriously, what the frag does that oversized spark, & whatever newfound shitty excuse for being too soft to survive now, have to do with Me? Do I have to spell it out for you? Because- surprise, I can. It’s not that fucking hard, you should try it sometime. Maybe for Christmas, you should’ve asked for a book about the ABCs .”
His dentae rotated, flattened & unimpressed frown locked while his grimy innards slid around inside, switching which set he should settle on like a rich girl spinning through her futuristic closet to see whether she was feeling chartreuse or cyan today. The winner was a glaring middle gap denta.
“ You’re all starting to sound like Shockwave, which is an absurd comparison to even say aloud, since you’re all as dumb as a box of rocks, but, really, if you ask me, so is he, so I guess it actually makes sense .”
Snickering at the verbal shot he managed to score on the scientist, it’s about celebrating the little wins, sometimes, & Blitzwing Loves to Win . His snickering stops itself short, optics narrowed.
“ But I’ll tell you the same shit I’ve been telling him to try & get that aggravating, one-opticed, purple-people eater OFF my FUCKING back: I don’t give a DAMN about a SINGLE mech here, triple-changer, quadruple-changer, career changer, I DON’T CARE! They can do WHATEVER THE PIT THEY WANT WITH EACH OTHER! As long as it doesn’t fuck with ME or prolong their STUPID POINTLESS WAR, I REALLY *DON’T* care. I’m just here to take aft & kick designations aside, or- what..WHATEVER STUPID SCRAP MECHA SAY ! “
Smoke & visible cold swirled around the stubborn tankjet, squeaking as they popped up some of his rusted plating .
“ Our models being the same busted junk to be broken & brushed by when it inevitably breaks down itself doesn’t HAVE to make us all ‘buddy buddy’ & ‘OMP! Let’s form a ThErApY CiRcLe!!!!’ WHO GIVES a FUCK? This is WAR. This is BATTLE. I don’t HAVE any buddies in battle, & I don’t WANT any.
Comradery in the core of cruelty serves NOTHING but YOURSELF, just another decorated distraction for the bastards above to know we’re occupied & complacent with MORE than just CLASHING SWORDS. “
Blitz waved his half ice, half flaming scimitar as if it were nothing more than a toy, a toy that tore into anything it touches harshly.
“ ‘ oH! Well! YES! We ARE still trying to win the DOOMED YAOI wildfire right now, & YES! We STILL haven’t achieved anything of ACTUAL STRIDE geared toward ACTUAL SUCCESS JUST YET! Buuuuut! ….Now, you can clash your upstairs sword… AAND your …’ “
Salesmech tone that sounded similar to Swindle’s low silk softened with the animated ice etching in an arc across his visor, mimicking a cheeky wink before it melted.
“ ‘ INSERT AN AUTHENTIC I TOTALLY CARE ABOUT YOUR CONCERNS GASP HERE. … Downstairs sword. YEEEP! With your BEsT BUDDY! Because, apparently, working mech can have those now? WHAT!! This is CRAAzy! This is like when I learned cows can have best friends! HOW CUUUTEE, AWWW! Anyway, hope you stupid fucks have fun! I’m gonna go order five hundred Big Macs from McDonald’s now, comm me if you need meeee ! ….Don’t need me . ‘ “
Cartoonish croon having completed its sarcastic chastising, he sheathed his blade & set his servos on his tank treaded hips, glowering down with all the disgruntlement of a towering dragon disappointed at the wimpy knight sent to slay her.
“ So if the other triples wanna fuck around all their off day, hell, even fuck each other? They can do whatever the pit they want, it’s their life they’re wasting, & not my time, plus? How much waste is really wasting when it’s The Waste themselves wasting away? There’s a tongue twister for you, twerp. So, yeah, if they wanna twist tongues, it’s less jabber clogging my comms .”
He spat, arms crossing, wings relaxing from their waving fit.
They tensed shortly after, never really relaxed.
Not in here, not under another mech’s watch. Not unless he was showcasing why they shouldn’t watch too closely.
“ So what if I sit alone & they bother each other elsewhere on the few breaks we, & by we, I mean– I* managed to score for us-ME? It’s not like our schedules will magically always align themselves together for another 200 millenia again, it’d be pointless for us to meet ‘meaningfully’ once like it matters then never again until- fucking- forever. I know damn well that I’m not indulging in any deep conversations with a mech that finds TRAINS to be FUN . Mech offline like it’s going out of style, & I’m not wasting my TIME on WASTE ITSELF just so *I* can LIE to myself & SAY i’m ‘FULFILLED’ with my FUCK ass LIFE. This is WAR. I could be scrapped by spring & no one would sense a thing! THAT’S JUST HOW IT GOES. It doesn’t matter how loud you talk or how quiet or how many spikes you can suck at once to make mecha ‘not mind’ you, it’s WAR. We’ll be forgotten soon if we can’t tell our own story, & the only ones who can are, duh, the ones gripping the pen in a FIST. So, yeah, I don’t care. I really don’t. So what? So freaking what . Let them have a freak off. Let them fuck off! They are FRUITFLIES in the optic of WAR, and WAR is BLIND . “
Visor splitting, his fire heating up the glass & the instant cold lapping after it expanding the material chemically until it cracked, the edges of an icy blue optic bared frantic beneath its revealed fright.
Blitzwing twisted his body to the other side, wings raised above his broad back, physically cloaking his face .
“ I don’t care about Astrotrain. I don’t care about Octane, I don’t care what we’re doing, I don’t care how we got here, we’re just here now. & it doesn’t matter if we like it or not, or who likes who, or who doesn’t, because I don’t care.
& you’re lucky that I don’t, because you wouldn’t still be standing here with a helm on your shoulders if I did . “
Covering the crack in his visor with the scimitar he slid sharply, smoothly, from its scabbard, he knelt down on powerful thighs sculpted like a pro (football player), pointing out by his opposite servo & pressing an index digit into the other’s forehelm.
Pushing the helm back just by a teasing tap, mannered similarly to an older brother jabbing his point across, except the older brother had teeth that could cleave your brain from your skull if you kept crossing him.
“ Na’mean .”
( know what I mean ? )
He punctuated with another poke, smiling, simply reflecting the cadence without any real cruelty, contrasting the rough actions he displayed.
“ your bell is very lovely, at least, that's what i think. ”
lightbright @ red alert
( . . . )
all of his initial cognition urged him to overexplain, to nervously prattle off other needless information so that the original intent could be excused, written off, & forgotten. Yes, it was a nice bell, the golden shine matched the coin-like insignias buttoned before each of his bulky shoulder pauldrons, signifying power, authority, &… also festive spirit for the present holiday thanks to the red paint which partnered well with the rich yellow. It was nice to appease to the public, purposefully, prior to its purchasing, & serving permanently multi-functional afterward, meant as punishment, presentation, & preservation .
Rodimus was apprehensive upon his return, Red Alert hoped having something shiny that served a ( practically silent to others, normal mech ) purpose would help- quell that . quietly . & they could all just Move On .
it also didn't help that, even after all his Embarrassing years of lengthy counseling sessions just based on how to accept a simple Compliment, he still struggled. guess that's to be expected when you try to ditch all those sessions, or excuse yourself to the gentlemech's room so you can climb out the nearest window .
maybe it was due to the merriment of today, or Red practicing how to portray ‘merriment’ so he wouldn't be labeled a supposed ‘scrooge’ by Swerve again after taking down his strange human habit decor feeding into his strange human habit, worried that a mistletoe was fiendish when he read its parasitic classification, relenting only after a group vote he still grumbles about in a decibel heard just for his own high-grade audials .. or maybe it was the cityspeaker's kind calm that helped quiet the thoughts. For what he managed, it was meek – but that was his baseline when he wasn't monotone & managing matters – though, genuine .
“ thank you . “
“ lightbright,”
his audials stiffened, raising, relaxing his steadily orderly tone back to its barely audible quiet, “ is it ? “
He knows the answer already, white visor displaying data, specifically focused on criminal history for everybot encountered.
He circles something on his datapad twice, round audials bouncing along to his nod.
“ i took it upon myself to secure the morale of my ship via monetary incentive exchanges .”
A pregnant pause, recalling Rung's words.
“... presents- i made sure to acquire & -
..”
His reddened features worsened. Simplify. Be more. Competent .
“.. I obtained something for y-..
I have something for-…
.. “
Red Alert's audials flattened, whispering dwindling into muted to other mechas’ audials muttering quiet criticisms to himself while he fiddled with a chassis badge, twirling it, pressing, twirling the other way, unlocking a secret entrance that allowed him to open a compartment in his side. Datapad tucked under the opposite arm, he withdrew something alright, an ornamental box set matching the cityspeaker’s color scheme that was elegant like a jewelry box, but bigger .
It opened with a ballerina chime, revealing
an elegant tea set carved from jewels & glittering different ways depending on the light.
“ you can understand how i, as a security mech, value & awe your efforts at protection. I had some extra mecha noted down for delivery in case i ever encountered anybot else on one of my- … adventures .”
Sliding from the bottom of the box to show itself, a white gold tea-stirrer, adorned with a small, silver diamond that looked like a disco ball.
“ it can light your teas to different colors, shades, & brightness as you stir. Um- also, when you brew it with this, “
Bear ear Audial tilting to a different device section in the elaborate tea set .
“ it plays different soothing music – softly .”
Or, rather, the regular standard for soft. Still too loud for Red's tastes, but everything was to the timid-toned mech .
“..I apologize if this seems- out of the blue.. I just- I wanted to make certain you knew how respected you are in my regards . No better time than a bustling time today, or so they say..”
Speaking of others ..well, ‘speaking’.. his audials twist separate directions, listening to something far away & out of his servos, yet he always worried anyway .
Red Alert was brought back to attention, recalling how he was holding something out for somebot .
His white gloves twitched, blue sparks itching out their edges.
“ i heard –”
… audials flattened to his helm for a second. He's not going to say ‘from somebot’ because that would be a lie. He simply heard. He hears a lot .
“ …i apologize if this isn't a- if it's not a desirable, uh, gift- I– .. you are not required to take this token. But if you do, uh, desire to– exchangement for a gift of your own given to me is not necessary, in fact, discouraged. I just thought you may want this, & it may boost your own personal morale, business aside . …If business refuses to be aside, the bottoms of the box & the set itself can sturdy themselves to a surface to keep from being shaken & spilled . ”
Red & blue exhausted white like a bomb pop popsicle, face glowing from his flush as optics stared off & away.
“ it's clean, of course, I can assure you that . Knowing me, which– I certainly do, as- ..I am* me, so-
Um.”
Awkward attempt at humor aborted, save it for Swerve. Speaking of Swerve, that little loudmouth.. What was that-.. thing Swerve said.. ….heh, actually, what *hasn't* Swerve said? Oh, Primus, back to the point, Red !!
“ Merry Christmas, Lightbright. &, if you don't celebrate, which I wouldn't blame you..
( he knows you can't see it beneath his scarlett shield, & that's the functional intent of the visor, but he's rolling his optics like a popped off Dum-Dum lollipop licked around cavity-infested insides . )
mecha ALWAYS whine the SAME SHIT TO ME . ' BLiTZWING, why are you SO MEAN.' 'BLiTZWING, stop WHINING about everything' 'BLITZWING, JUST LET MEGATRON MAKE ANOTHER DUMB PLAN FOR YET ANOTHER DUMB STARSCREAM & SLASH OR AUTOBOT SPOIL ATTEMPT SO WE CAN GO BACK TO COMPLAINING ABOUT OUR SHIT LIVES & DOING NOTHING ABOUT THEM BECAUSE WE'RE CHiCKENSHIT . ' ' BLITZWING, NO ONE KNOWS WHAT A SUPERBOWL IS. JUST GO SHOPPING IN THE CEREAL SECTION '
FucK . YOU .
EVERYBOT just LOooOOOOoveS to recite,
( mocking high voice from his already audial-bleeding shrill one )
' iT CoStS nOtHiNg t-t-to be KiiiiiiiiND !!!!!!!1!1!1 "
( 😻😻💞💞🥺😚😚🥰😍 !!! snowflakes shaped into tiny hearts flutter around his cooing face, servos cartoonishly clasped . )
( they melt & droop in the air, flames consuming the tiny flakes . voice dropped . )
YEAH . WELL IT PAYS TO BE * SMaRT *, TOO.
but does AAAAANYBOT wanna MAKE THE EXTRA EFFORT and TRY THAT TOO ?
NooOoOoOOoooOOO, we're just ALL supposed to SALUTE OUR ALMIGHTY MYSTERIOUS FIGURE COLUMNED in THE CONGESTED SKY and EAT SHIT & BE MERRY FOR A TWO-BIT BREAK so we can COME BACK & RESTART OUR SPIRAL... from the TOP this time !!! WHATEVER KEEPS US WORKING THE LONGEST & THE HARDEST !
You should think about anger management services blitzwing...
oH * REaLLY ? ! ?
i DON'T KNOW . MAYBE * YoU * ( !! ) SHOULD CONTACT YOUR NEXT OF KIN & TELL THEM TO START THINKING ABOUT ARRANGING MANAGEMENT OF YOUR FUnERAL SERVICES, FIRST, SHITSTAiN . FUCKING DIPSHIT . pUT THAT on PRONTO, WHY DON'T YOU, SINCE YOU WANNA CALL ALL THE FUCKING SHOTS LIKE SOME MIGHTY OLD HELMHONCHO, hOW ABOUT i ** CRUSH ** IT THEN, HUH ? HELP YOU RELIEVE SOME OF THE WEIGHT OFF YOUR sHRiMPY SHOULDERS ! ? ! ? ?
fUCK YOU .
MANAGE YOUR WAY AROUND MY FiST FLYING TOWARD YOUR STUPID UGLY FaCE !!!!!!!
( enlightenment's obtainment is Not in blitzwing's future , nor his new year's resolution . thanks for trying . )
the tankjet chirped, rusted plating squeaking as it popped in several places from his spunky jump & shuffle low to ground so he could stare upwards, into the soul .
" you . "
the mech stretched, scratched armor straining & creaking like a human's arthritic knees, backstrut curving, keeping his blood-red gaze laser focused above .
because how DARE you insinuate a super cool SUPERBOWL shindig hosted by the ONE & ONLY BLITZWING would require a BRIBE as BRAINDEAD as ' GOOD SNACKS ' to encourage even the ENTICING PREMISE of POSSIBLE ATTENDANCE ?? PLENTY of MECHA attend HIS SUBERBOWL PARTIES !!!!!!!
. . . just - none mention it because it's - .
it's like a super secret club at Yale .
the public simply cannot be privy to such prized & pretentious insider information .
two more months to The Superbowl, & it's starting to become one (1) pretty soon !
&, this year, yes, THIS was GOING TO BE !
THE * year ! where SOMEONE ! GOES !
Finally, ACTUALLY ATTENDS !
. . . --- one of his superbowl parties .
he was DETERMINED to have ONE GUEST !!
.. who was alive & responsive .
but he has to weed out the fake fans... it takes a lot to power a stolen human television ! he has fire & ice abilities, NOT electric - ironic, considering his namesake, but -- life's a glitch .
@ futureQBmvpBlitzwing1, to all his social medias where his only followers are the ( digital ) cambots who he thinks are real & has been unsuccessfully trying to rizz, & astrotrain, who blocks him then refollows when bored. blitzwing is Not following astrotrain . he only follows sports - related accounts, such as the NFL .
" you know, this Really pissed me off, looking back at it . like, obviously, if we, the military faction, don't know something as simple of a demand as a designation, then we're not going to have the following formality for motivation. who are you & want do you want is pretty clear-cut instruction for anybot to ask for, & it not being answered the first time won't just 'magically change' when you don't try a second time, but just ORDER for it to SUDDENLY shift because YOU'RE the big boss wearing the bucket hat for a helm. how about YOU thoroughly eviscerate yourself for some PATIENCE & CONTEXTUAL AWARENESS, because i'm sure you'll find NONE . BIG SURPRISE . but then you wanna act like I'M the useless dumbass for relaying what THEY'VE done so for, which is what YOU asked, which, big WHOOP, was NOTHING ! oh, i'll TELL you something, alright, but i won't gurantee that you'll like to Hear it . "
what do some mech like to do when human holidays roll around & they're stuck immersing in their silly cultures or forever drifting outcasted from cybertron ? they get jolly, gather socially, take a well-deserved break from the war & celebrate ! blitzwing, though ?
@ futureQBmvpBlitzwing1, to all his social medias where his only followers are the ( digital ) cambots who he thinks are real & has been unsuccessfully trying to rizz, & astrotrain, who blocks him then refollows when bored .
" i have made a Severe, & Continuous . . Lapse . in My Judgement . & - "
soundwave found the post, probably .
" i tried to state my case via the freedom of speech encroachment claim, but -- seeing as i'm not a human ruled under common law rather than Buckethead's di- imeanmegatron-
i guess it doesn't apply.
so i'm shit out of luck . "
attached to the apology post is a picture of the png of a cartoon dog saying ' sorry ' because Blitzwing would rather choke on his own intake than actually apologize to anyone .
@ futureQBmvpBlitzwing1, to all his social medias where his only followers are the ( digital ) cambots who he thinks are real & has been unsuccessfully trying to rizz, & astrotrain, who blocks him then refollows when bored. blitzwing is Not following astrotrain . he only follows sports - related accounts, such as the NFL .
" you know, this Really pissed me off, looking back at it . like, obviously, if we, the military faction, don't know something as simple of a demand as a designation, then we're not going to have the following formality for motivation. who are you & want do you want is pretty clear-cut instruction for anybot to ask for, & it not being answered the first time won't just 'magically change' when you don't try a second time, but just ORDER for it to SUDDENLY shift because YOU'RE the big boss wearing the bucket hat for a helm. how about YOU thoroughly eviscerate yourself for some PATIENCE & CONTEXTUAL AWARENESS, because i'm sure you'll find NONE . BIG SURPRISE . but then you wanna act like I'M the useless dumbass for relaying what THEY'VE done so for, which is what YOU asked, which, big WHOOP, was NOTHING ! oh, i'll TELL you something, alright, but i won't gurantee that you'll like to Hear it . "
what do some mech like to do when human holidays roll around & they're stuck immersing in their silly cultures or forever drifting outcasted from cybertron ? they get jolly, gather socially, take a well-deserved break from the war & celebrate ! blitzwing, though ?
is like this guy and he has this egg, and everybody WANTS my EGG ! but i only trust MY EGG with CERTAIN INDIVIDUALS who can RUN MY EGG into THE INCUBATOR !! which they call the END ZONE ! BECAUSE IT ENDS THE THREAT OF THEIR EXTINCTION, RiGHT? YOU FOLLOW, RIGHT? YOU'RE FOLLOWING .
right, so, like-- but there's these other guys who are like. fuck YOU ! i ** want THE eGG !! .... It's like Penguins fighting over orphans and accidentally killing them ."
" THE BABY PENGUIN ORPHANS, in this case, are their brains because they get CTE and hit early action sundown nursing home anger sometimes, but - like- it's okay because it makes VIOLENCE money and VIOLENCE money equal good so.... YAYYYYY !!! FOOTBALLLL - "
the triplechanger threw his servos in the air, celebrating as if he had just recorded the greatest Harvard lecture to grace all collegiate history. you can find his books on life advice trashed & set aflame around garbage bins located near YOU ( 🫵 ) !!
" octane ? left with nothing in the bank or the tank ? THE octane , THE SNUB-NOSED SLIMEBALL, SCAVENGER, SCROUNGER, SUB-LEVEL SCRAPER, SUPER SHRIMPER, SUPREMELY SNIVELING ** SCRoOGE ?!
OCTANE ? ? ! ? ! !
he would've self-terminated the moment the BULL market started to bear signs of becoming a BEAR market if he couldn't beg a bootlicking bout of salvation from it first .
YEAH, RiGHT .
& I'M SMARTER than SHOCKWAVE .
before filing for financial bankruptcy, monitor the sanctity of your own MORALS, BUDDY, because we all KNOW whose WEIGHT would win out on an Egyptian SCALE ! "
ignore the half - heated, half - frigid, entirely encapsulated by the feelings of FOMO , tankjet.
somebot's just pissy that other mech can spend a second of their life talking about him but not actually Including him in it EVEN THOUGH . . it's literally ABOUT ! HIM !
SO WHY HAVE A STARRING ROLE IN THE SCRIPT BUT NO STAR OF AN ACTOR TO ACT?
WHAT a WASTE ! WHAT CHUMPS !!
his BRILLIANT MILITARY STRATEGIST would NEVER be so BLIND ! he's ranting to his frozen cube ( the football coach's preserved remains ) AS SOON AS HE GETS HOME ( nest ) .
Guzzle glanced around, antennae flickering & twitching atop the concerned & confused Little tank . " je vous demande pardon ? am i-
Sorry, am i . . ? . . interpretating this correctl-
OH . GIVE a HELLO . TO. OH . OH .
. . . MONSIEUR TOPSPIN ! AH, AHHH-- you uh - " Guzzle's antennas lowered in shame, mandibles shifting in similar embarrassment .
" . . i'll just go get him . . . "
Skuttling off, the little wrecker hurried to find his cool colored comrade, covering his already shadowed face as he left, digits itching at his mask . if only he could scratch some images out of his scarred mind . .
the hovercraft suspended his penmanship, letting the steel blue stylograph stay static in his paused palm, assuring the tiny tank that the current focus was all his . he waited with an unwavering silence, passionate for being polite, but wielded with a straightforward kindness that suggested zero patience for the inexcusably exhaustive without the presence of paternal intervention . he listened to guzzle's woes like an attentive father would to his daughter's rants about a boy who wouldn't stop pulling her pigtails in class: seriously .
The first sound Topspin made was introductory, short, & serving to let Guzzle know he was comprehending carefully, softly twisting the hollowed seal on his pen tighter, as he had no intention to resume his cartography currently; his time was Guzzle's time, &, as a wrecker especially, it's not the wisest wanting to guzzle your time down the drain when it's shortened already .
" i see .
so someone called for me in a manner that suggested mischievousness, shortening my name for, what some may say, 'silliness' in order to decrease the seriousness of a designation, & we are unsure of the identity nor the reason . "
he nodded, musing over this small interaction as if its answer costed the weight of the world. He knew, at his core, that the scale of their curiosity was odd in & of itself, but he took it so seriously only because Guzzle did himself, the tiny tank nodding vigorously in enthusiastic mimic at Topspin's silent approval of his temporary panic from something so small -- yet, the punctual poise of his superior guaranteed anything aside from demeaning or careless judgement .
" what an interesting predicament for you to be put in . "
Guzzle nodded, again, at the verbal validation from the wrecker, mandibles practically purring from their impassioned vibrations .
" YEAH, I THOUGHT IT MEANT- I THOUGHT THEY WERE ASKING FOR- ...-- uh.. um.. "
Guzzle flourished a luminous lime, wanting to spew more of his worries in detail, but not wanting to disgust a mech he actually respected, a difficult task to accomplish when involving authority thanks to the tank's trauma .
Topspin knew when to talk for him, without talking over him , used to know when to help out another after being a big brother for so long (too short still, if you ask . )
" we can't help what we imagine, it's what makes it such a mystifying tool that's only multipled from the depths of the history we've been dealt, aware or unaware . i can only imagine the uncomfortability of your surprise from the statement, since i wasn't there myself to request any context that would have helped ease the conscious from feeling misguided . &, because i was the request in question, & you the mere unfortunate messenger, i would have had the opening to do so for you if i was . "
the mech was methodical, & wanted the shorter wrecker to know that it wasn't him that the source of worry, but sudden situations themselves, & that he only did his best to sort through them . big or small, topspin wanted his wreckers to know they were good as long as they tried to be .
guzzle's buzzing soothed silent, & topspin gently smoothed down an oversized plating that jutted poorly along the tank's arm armor, aligning it until it settled & the tank produced an appreciative chirp . it was similar to a parent making sure his child's dress was wrinkle-free before the first day of school .
" i appreciate you bringing this to my attention . i will investigate this now, & will update you on my findings promptly .
for now, guzzle, i believe you have someone requesting your attention as well . "
the hovercraft waited, watching the tank's antennas perk up in anticipation .
" ironfist has some beta weapons needing testing-"
The tank scuttled off at a blinding speed.
Topspin turned back to his work, but prolonged resuming, pen held aloft with a little grin on his lip . 1. 2. 3 .
Guzzle returned, panting, muttering frantic 'MoNSIeuR!!!'s that made the blue mech grin wriggle larger from his predictable urgency.
" he's outside, ready when you are. i let him know you asked to convene with me quickly, & you'd be by soon . i have his coordinates comm'ed to you now . "
he's had them sent the moment he said the name ' ironfist , ' knowing how close the newcomers were to each other, those two weapon enthusiasts especially .
Guzzle was too excited to waste anymore precious weapon testing time, & he was definitely not keen on missing time spent with Ironfist, his bestest 'ami . ' He scuttled away again without a thanks or any goodbye,
but Topspin never minded, always focusing on the mission at servo .
He reminisced, a little, on the past, unable to straighten out the tiny smile that lingered on his scarred faceplates .
A weakness he wished to cull .
His slender blue digit slowly slid up to rest upon his visor , ready to send another comm request in search for the reason .
who was calling for him if it wasn't Twintwist, his much more animated mech for a younger brother ?
&, if it wasn't twintwist, which it most certainly wasn't, since he doesn't need a messenger to know when his brother was throwing a fit for what he wanted,
Then it was probably For twintwist.
& the anonymous caller simply mixed up the two brothers' names .
Guzzle glanced around, antennae flickering & twitching atop the concerned & confused Little tank . " je vous demande pardon ? am i-
Sorry, am i . . ? . . interpretating this correctl-
OH . GIVE a HELLO . TO. OH . OH .
. . . MONSIEUR TOPSPIN ! AH, AHHH-- you uh - " Guzzle's antennas lowered in shame, mandibles shifting in similar embarrassment .
" . . i'll just go get him . . . "
Skuttling off, the little wrecker hurried to find his cool colored comrade, covering his already shadowed face as he left, digits itching at his mask . if only he could scratch some images out of his scarred mind . .
( a purple servo set to his hip, his typical brutish vocoder fry tinging into accosted valley girl setting, feeling the very fabric of her popular girl world being disrupted by the presence of another . )
& WHO THE FrAG DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, TRYING TO TALK TO ME LIKE THAT ??
i'm seeing THREE ( raising two icicle-encased digits before realizing & swiftly adjusting to extend a third. upset & embarrassed at his own stupid mistake, he shook his servo rapidly to strategically confuse the shorter & hopefully make him forget about what he saw . ) MISTAKES with your INFERIOR analysis here !
ONE ! you * Are * one ! . . HAHA ! ( interrupting his villainy to revel in it, a sporadically short hyena laugh at his own read )
TWO ! THE * OnLY* thing WE miGht have in COMMON, is that we'll both DIE one day, & YOURS has a deactivation date coming SOON ! to a THEATERS near --- you ! HA !
ThiRD, & FINAL ( 😮☝🏿 ‼️ ) , the PROPER phrase is : WhY do * YOU * look like * ME * --
I - ,,, UH - ( 💧) (??!) ( squinting . that sounded the exact sa- * it was the exact same-) COMING FROM *MY* PERSPECTIVE. MY VIEWPOINT. i MEAN.
. . . ( steaming up on one side, cold fog billowing out the other . their respective collections ushering out either sides of his helm like a train whistles' asthmatic cry . servos clenched . )
YOU GET THE POINT . ( venting hot & cold air so he elaborate the explanation anyways )
WE LOOK * NOTHING * alike . are you TRYING to be funny , or does your dead end job just have you STUCK AS a CLOWN ? ?
( the superior triple leaned down to bless the leper, shaking a balled up, boiling hot, left servo in the mech's face, though not making any contact yet. he didn't want the little ugly ugly choking as his own dentae while the irritated tankjet demanded answers . )
⠀ ' yooohoooo * brawsaaa
what's with such the unrad
yelling .ᐣ you can tone it down
a bit, ya know .ᐣ i ain't gon's
yell at ya . '
⠀
⠀ ( balled up fist .ᐣ nawh . he's got
one even better, finger guns . both
servos are mimicking finger gunning
a long time friend . who even is
this mech .ᐣ )
⠀
⠀ ' we can start with names .
name's SKILZ . ya know, like when
ya got the mad skills to hit a
kick flip .ᐣ maybe an ollie .ᐣ '
⠀
⠀ ( another wag of his finger gun .
a wide smile upon his lips . his pink
visor glints as he tilts his helm . )
⠀
⠀ ( each word is drawn out slowly,
slow enough to be clear, but not
fast enough to make it clear enough
to others that are zoned out . )
do you really think i'd start bawling my optics out if you raised .00001 decibel of your agonizing SLOTH SPEECH at me . i know you Apparently think we're mech from the same mold, for some DUMBAFT reason, but i am NOT your SHRIMPY size . WE ARE NOT ALIKE. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR YELLOW H- ( . . his helm is Also yellow.... the innermost part of it meant to replicate a pro football helmet, specifically . he put a cork on that & backtracked Hot Tub Time Machine style with a glass of scotch swishing in his servo . )
YoUr HELM ! ! .... 💧 - yOUR STUPID* HELM .
( shaken servos split sharply into claws, steam releasing from their seams with high hyena vocalization per the squeaks . he was ITCHING for this mech to MAKE HIS MEAL, agitation almost always following after too much noise . & what was blitz besides a whole bunch of noise ? )
( glitched out claw machine maneuvers clasp together & withdraw, collected in his confusion.
they looked like guns . which he liked. but with digits. which he liked to chew .
ice filled the gaps of his own servos as evidence, clacking against the jut of his chassis as he mulled with foreign yet familiar gestu-
Happy Days . or - or something... with... The Fonz.... he remembered the coach showing him it on the tiny datapad-like device that now treated him to new fleshy pigshow delights in his ice palace of preservation from mankind, the parts he found mildly enjoyable, anyway, before that one mission went AWOL . . A little human with raven hair- he thought it was, it was difficult to tell, but he thought he was the shit, seemed to be, for most of it . in one episode, according to the football coach, The Fonz even ended human racism .
Blitz couldn't help but wonder if this mech was aware of The Fonz's elevated human era as well. he drawled steadily like them, inferior jelly minds unable to process what cybertronians could at sparklinghood .
He sniffed. he'd collect better data by sensing the miniscule data via his two-toned tracker tongue aka derma, but-- better not to freak out the smaller when he still stood, sluggish yet serene . whatever this strange mech's origins were, he was clearly Weak . Definitely a disturbance to decepticons, it made Blitz- not worry, but - wonder, yeah, wonder exactly What an odd bot like this was doing out so far from whatever strange home that spawned him . to satisfy his newfound intrigue, Blitz would keep this little - Ugly... looks nothing like him... Thing * . . active . for now . until he got bored . or found this Fabled Fonz the football coach liked so much, just to see what all the hype was about. & then he'd freeze The Fonz too, & bring him to keep his Definitely Still Alive ( captured corpse ) Coach company . )
skilz ? & it's spoken like that ? or is that just your snailspace of an accent ? who even gave you that name? it's Stupid . can a kickflip even kill a bot ? wait, that's like - when you do a flip & kick a mech's jaw into their optics , right? Wait- don't tell me, i know i'm right .
i know All about sports . no need to lecture ME, little LOSER .
( tank buffed jet chassis puffed out proudly, he extended his clawmachine servo out once more & descended upon one of the wagging finger guns. but he didn't squeeze to pop. he simply - maneuvered it down to be holstered from their conversation, not desiring further agitation from a firing sign whilst attempting ' conversation . ' ( aka blitz spouts nonsense & you nod & agree or be shredded . ) )
. . that * Is * a sports- a.. Sport ! * term ! . . though, right ?
. . .
just checking if you know your stuff too -- since i'm- . . i'm like - the Sports Savant, so .
( the Sports Savant is Not revealing his cybertronian name until he notes a whiff of wanted respect . the quiz is On, ' Skilz . ' )
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