is he....yknow....?

uh hi my names milo heres my stuff he/him - gay - ftm trans yall just live your fucking lives basically dead :// sorry ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[cryptidw00rm-archive]

i look like a raccoon

[youaremyeverlovin]

[blackqueerblog]

I don’t think this is how efficient markets are supposed to work.

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

a collection of tweets, part 23

(the series)

[actualmermaid]

I will never not be delighted by the first English description of an opossum:

“An Opassom hath an head like a Swine, and a taile like a Rat, and is of the bignes of a Cat. Under her belly she hath a bagge, wherein she lodgeth, carrieth, and sucketh her young.”

[opossummypossum]

poetry… to my ears..

[gaypeopletwitter]

[couriers-mile]

Elf androgyny and dwarf androgyny and orc androgyny are like three very different forms of androgyny and defiance of the binary and they’re all so good

[theyoungestwhateleydaughter-dea]

Elf: everyone’s pretty, but has no ass.

Dwarf: everyone’s hairy, but has no ass.

Orc: everyone’s SHREDDED and can crack walnuts between their cheeks.

[lafayelle]

Goblin androgyny: you’re small and horrible and you’re pretty certain that ‘gender’ was a kind of beetle you ate last week.

[bruiselikeviolets]

you ever read something so fucking stupid you want to blow your brains out

[universefemme]

Bisexual women aren’t straight for dating men

[fierceawakening]

What the everloving fuck

[calslaundry-deactivated20211010]

[fiestabear]

[bassiter]

kinda in the mood to have a guy’s hand on my inner thigh. not even necessarily in a sexual way but just, casual, yknow, like he’s just letting it rest there. no homo though

[lookataleaf3000]

i always think about that study where they had adults hold a baby, and when they were told the baby was a girl the adults said she was cute and small, and when they were told the baby was a boy they said he was big and strong. they rated the baby’s ability to do things and tendency towards certain toys differently. they even held the baby differently. (x) or when they rated the baby’s physical ability to do various tasks such as climbing up a slope differently, (x) & when they measured how much parents told their girl children vs. their boy children to be careful and stop being so rowdy (x), & when they measured how often girls and boys were told to be quiet. (x) this was, obviously, all unconscious behavior in the adults. they’re not all like, raving sexists who outspokenly believe that women can’t do stuff or that girls really should just be quieter, be more still than boys. like its not even counting the direct, actual messages, its just literally how every single person in your entire life treats you, and if asked they would probably deny that its even because you’re a girl. how the fuck am i supposed to believe this doesn’t affect a child’s development when its literally constant throughout the entire process 

[magicalshopping]

♡ LGBTea Enamel Pin - Link in the source! ♡

[shiftythrifting]

found in a thrift store in foley, al

[thearoacewriter]

Can you maybe please write a Snowbaz fic based off of Simon's reaction to Baz in jeans? (Sorry it's probably been done to death a billion times but I'd love to see where you'd take the idea!) Thank youu and I love your work!!! <3

my first snowbaz fic wtf how have I waited so long to write them? 

idk what this is honestly I just started writing and it turned into this lmao. Enjoy?

word count: 1k

Baz had never been a very casual person. He spoke properly most of the time, dressed properly too, always wearing collared shirts with a blazer and dress pants. The most casual attire he owned were a few jeans and polo shirts.

So, what was it about Simon bloody Snow that made him want swear after every word? Why did that sad excuse for a Chosen One make Baz want to cuddle up with him wearing nothing but sweatpants and a t-shirt?

Baz would never forget Simon’s reaction to seeing him in jeans for the first time. That was before they’d snogged in the forest. Before they kissed until dawn. Before Baz got used to Simon’s eyes looking him up and down whenever he entered a room, examining every inch of him just because he was allowed to.

Baz remembered Simon’s eyes widening. The small stutter in his voice when he said, “Baz, you’re wearing jeans.” He might’ve thought Baz didn’t notice, but Baz noticed everything when it came to Simon Snow.

Though, Baz told himself it meant nothing. Simon was straight. He was probably just shocked since he’d never seen Baz wear anything but their school uniform.

Who gets shocked over seeing someone in jeans? His mind tried to reason with him. Simon bloody Snow, that’s who. That boy was so thick, Baz wouldn’t put it passed him.

When they started dating, Baz found out that he wasn’t imagining things. Whenever Baz wore jeans, Simon would just about lose his mind (not that there was much to lose to begin with.) He’d fallen into a routine every time Baz would wear them. Simon would smile, pull Baz closer by the loops on his waistline, and kiss him sweetly. They’d stare at each other for a moment before Simon would say “you look good” in a quiet voice reserved just for Baz.

It had come to the point where Bunce would groan whenever she saw him wearing them. “You and Simon better not make out in the living room while I’m watching my true crime shows,” she said one day. That’s when they stopped the whole charade, but it didn’t stop Simon from practically eye-fucking Baz which was “decidedly worse” according to Penny.

All that changed the first time Simon saw Baz in sweatpants.

It was the first time Simon had ever slept over at Baz’s flat. Up till then, they’d only stayed at Simon and Penny’s which made no sense really since Penny could walk in on them at any time.

Baz lived blissfully alone. He didn’t have to worry about anyone or anything which meant when Simon came over, they could do whatever they wanted.

For many years, Baz dressed up, even in his own house, to withhold the family reputation. He never really had a choice until he moved out. So, he bought the clothes he wanted because no one could tell him not to.

Why did no one tell him sweatpants were so comfortable? He only wore them around his flat because the habit of dressing up in public was too hard to break.

When Baz opened the door for Simon he immediately became aware of the fact that he hadn’t changed into his normal clothes. His boyfriend’s eyes raked over his body, the corners of his mouth tilting up ever so slightly. “You’re wearing joggers,” he stated.

“Astute observation, Snow.”

Simon stared at him for a while longer. “How do you manage to look good in everything you wear?”

Baz smirked as he pulled Simon in and shut the door. “Good genes, I suppose.” Simon plopped himself onto the couch like he’d done it a million times. “You like the jogger better than the jeans now?”

Simon thought for a moment as Baz sat down next to him. “I think I like them both for different reasons,” he said.

“And what are those reasons?”

“Well,” Simon wrapped his arms around Baz, pulling him closer. “Your arse looks really good in jeans. I mean, really good. Like, bloody hell, I didn’t know an arse could look that good, good.”

Baz rolled his eyes and playfully pushed him away. “Prat. My arse looks nice in anything.”

Simon laughed softly. “That’s true. But it looks especially nice in jeans.”

“Alright, alright. Now the joggers.”

The boy paused for a moment, trying to find the right words to put to the warm feeling inside him. He examined Baz. The way his t-shirt hung loose on his body, exposing his collarbones. The way he tucked his legs up on the couch. The way his hair wasn’t neat and in place like it usually was. He looked so comfortable. So homey.

“It shows that you trust me,” Simon began. Baz looked confused. “That you’re comfortable enough around me to let your walls down. To let me see you without any armor.”

Baz felt his heart thruming faster in his chest. He smiled and gave a breathy laugh. “You sap.” Simon smiled back. He brought his hand up to Baz’s face and gently caressed his cheek with his knuckles. Baz grabbed Simon’s hand and kissed the back of it. “I love you,” he said.

Baz had always known he was in love with Simon, but he’d never said it out loud. Simon said it for the first time a few months ago. Something caught in Baz’s throat that barred him from saying it back. Crowley, I love you so much, he’d wanted to say, but he couldn’t. It felt like he was giving something up.

It wasn’t until that moment that he realized how much he’d given up for the git. His reputation. His family. His decorum.

Simon bloody Snow had turned him into a casual person… and he was more than okay with it.

like what I do? buy me a coffee

[sncwbaz]

Carry On Countdown // Day ten {December 2nd} // Youtuber AU

carry on cast + youtube, my personal hc/au (?????)(it’s post canon but also au anna why do u always have to make things complicated idfk)

okay so i think it would all start with agatha

she would start a youtube channel with one of her friends in california

it’s like all aesthetically pleasing beautify + life style blog. 

picture make-up/ hair/ nails/ idek videos but also baking videos, house/apartment tours anything hauls. 

the kiddo’s over in london would start watching her, first just because it’s nice to see what agatha’s up to in ca, but they get low-key addicted to her channel because her video’s are just so nice and the aesthetic is on point.

i feel like baz would get hardcore addicted. like he’d love all her video’s and would literally text her about the nice clothes she showed in her haul and stuff like that. (such bonding)

simon would try out recipes from her baking videos and sent agatha pictures of the results and aah it’s just all so cute and nice. 

penny enjoys the make-up vids way more than she likes to admit.

anyways, baz is so into agatha’s channel and just the entire youtube thing that he’s thinking of starting one of his own

agatha finally convinces him to just start one and see how it’ll go. 

so he starts one but gets lost quite quickly because he doesn’t know what to make video’s about

his first video is a clothing haul and like, he does enjoy doing it, but his heart just isn’t fully in it.

so he makes like one meh video every 2 months, not really knowing what he’s doing until he decides that he needs to rearrange some stuff here.

baz starts daily vlogging.

lbr baz can talk a lot and just is such a snarky person. imagine him filming his day with his witty comments on the things that happen. 

penny and simon find it stressful at first because they always need to be sure baz doesn’t accidentally film simon’s wings/tail or penny using magic or something.

but like they get used to it and baz is just having a lot of fun. 

he notices that, because he’s filming his everyday life, he gets more out of his way to do more new stuff to make the vlogs as entertaining as possible. and it just somehow makes him more excited about just living life if that makes sense. somehow it becomes this whole therapeutic thing for him. 

simon and penny appear a lot in his vlogs. baz’ viewers live for sassy conversations and discussions between penny and baz. and penny has no problem with being on camera.

for simon it takes some time to get comfortable with speaking in front of a camera. he’s not a talkative person so this whole vlogging thing is just ???¿¿?¿?????¿? to him, but baz’ viewers find simon cute and nice.

baz and simon never really said anything about their relationship on baz’ channel and they don’t really act like they’re in a relationship in front of the camera. (they’re just normal them in front of the camara, but no pda stuff) so the viewers don’t really know about their relationship

though……after some time the viewers start to suspect things because of the way the boys sometimes look at each other and stuff.

sO that’s how the ship SNAZ comes about ((yes, baz’ viewers do choose the cool ship name))

once the shipping starts baz’ channel really starts to grow (because lbr that’s how a lot of those things work in the world of fandoms. sorry.)

simon and baz start to notice how baz’ viewers are shipping them and like, posting edits and fanfiction of them on the social media and they think it’s great. 

simon and baz are very amused by the shippers and start to act a tiny bit more pda on camera. just to make the viewers flip their shit

like simon will shortly rest his head on baz’ shoulder or baz brushing smudged chocolate from simon’s chin on camera and giving simon an Intense Look™ that u don’t give to ‘just friends’ ppl

the snaz fandom is dying. leGIT DYING 

the “THEY’RE BASICALLY CANON. THEY’RE DATING OK. LOOK AT THEM. THIS IS NOT JUST A FRIENDSHIP. diD YoU SEe tHAT” dying. 

simon and baz are just dying of laughter. 

but then the fights start on social media

the ‘you should say all this stuff because it’ll make simon and baz uncomfortable and i’ll ruin their friendship’ drama.

simon and baz see all this unfold on social media and just face palm.

they’re like “should we just tell them that we’re dating?”

they don’t want to be forced to be open about their relationship online just because people are fighting about it, but at the same time they never really wanted to hide it either. they didn’t even feel like they were purposefully hiding it.

it was just that at first they didn’t do pda stuff in front of a camera because simon didn’t feel fully comfortable whilst being on camera and after that it just kinda became a silent rule that they didn’t do pda stuff on camera.

but they never actually cared about if people knew about their relationship or not so…..

one day baz just starts his daily vlog whilst still being in bed, barely woken up, and you can see simon next to him in bed in the background. 

once that vlog is up everyone DIES

but the Not Shippers are just like “nono baz was just sleeping over at simon’s and penny’s it’s totally normal for them to sleep in the same bed”

simon and baz: *sigh*

second attempt of Exposing™ (not actually on youtube): baz posting a picture on instagram roses with the caption “buying flowers for my special boy @~simons ig~”

people die again, but still there are people like “special boy as in Special Good Friend” 

simon and baz are ready to cry

so is the snaz fandom

so. next vlog. there’s baz and simon in the same bed again. there’s baz calling simon “love” and there’s baz just talking to the camera about something that happened (idk, him rambling about a film he just saw with simon?) whilst simon is sitting next to him with his head resting on baz’s shoulder.

the entire snaz fandom is crying happy tears and feeling blessed and thanking baz for bringing this level of adorableness into their lives.

bUT STILL

there are idiots tweeting. “no baz isn’t dating simon u stupid fangirls”

and baz being so done just tweets back. “sorry sir/madam but simon snow, cute kid, crazy hair, is in fact my boyfriend who i have been happily dating for some time now. gnight.” 

and the whole snaz fandom just explodes. 

snaz is real ya’ll 

(((also later, when snaz is big™ they’ll bring out sweaters and beanies with the words ‘snazzy’ on it and it’s great)))

((((also also. in an interview: “so, baz, since many big youtubers are brining out a book as well?” baz: “yes. it’s called twilight. it’s out september 6th 2006.” interviewer: ???¿????¿¿?¿??))))

[basic-banshee]

cuz i'm a creep

**fic request: AU where Simon stalks Baz on Instagram**

Uni AU / Social Media AU / pining boys

Penny says it’s stalking. But stalking has to be deliberate, right? Stalking has to be malicious and creepy.

Was I stalking him fifth year when I was trying to prove he was selling drugs? No. I was following. I was doing a service. That’s not stalking. And neither is this.

It was an accident, at first. I was scrolling through and I saw one of Agatha’s pictures — she’s always posting, loads of bright pics of beaches and food and dogs and friends — and there, under the photo, was his name. He’d “liked” it.

It pissed me off at first. We finished school. Agatha went to America and he was off studying somewhere posh and exclusive, and he was still trying to pull her? What’s the point of flirting with someone over Instagram?

But then I started thinking further. What could Baz possibly post on Instagram? He was notoriously private during school. We never spoke, except to yell at each other or curse when we swung a punch, and somehow he never struck me as a social media type of guy. A quick scroll proved me right — his account was definitely created sometime after Watford — but my fact finding mission also took me on a tour of the past two years of Baz’s life. 

Keep reading

[hannibalism]

[cikero]

how the hell did thanos snap with a metal glove on

[garbage-empress]

he just did the motion and made the noise by clapping his ass at the same time