"Some decisions are more complicated than others, perhaps in another life I will return to that place, but in this life, my life I decided to stay in this world with them.."
If Caine would choose between go back to the circus or stay in the sekai with those girls... He choose them no matter what, because now he found a place to belong
Ok so since Ao3 is down for the count (again) I need an outlet to get thoughts out so why not try tumblr (I worry other social media apps will crucify me) I apologize in advance for how disorganized and possibly badly articulated this is gonna be.
It's probably best to start with Miku. I always found it interesting how childlike (to me anyway) Empty Sekai Miku is compared to the other Miku variants. Unlike the other variants, she is explicitly taught how to play cat's cradle, for example (I also always found it interesting that many of the activities N25 introduces to their vocaloids are stereotypical children's activities) My theory is that this is because of Mafuyu's own emotional capacity in a sense. After suppressing her own feelings for so long, Mafuyu finds it difficult to recognize and express them. However, she made her own Sekai, which are born from feelings. Miku was created with the Sekai so I imagine she has the most connection to Mafuyu and the feeling that originally created the Sekai which would explain her general lack of understanding of her own emotions. (actually iirc Miku explicitly says Rin's appearance (and possibly that of the others later) was caused by a change in Mafuyu's emotional state)
Speaking of, Rin was always hardest to pin down to me. She's very obviously connected to Ena in the same way Meiko and Luka are connected to Mizuki and Kanade respectively, but the traits she inherits from her aren't particularly clear. Unlike Meiko and Luka who are directly connected to a trait of their respective... uh hosts??? Rin reads a bit more as a surface level interpretation of Ena's character: the tsundere who pretends to be angry and indifferent but in reality is really sweet and caring. Maybe she's Mafuyu's interpretation of Ena, which would make sense given how these two understand each other the least (up there with Kanamizu which is a whole other rant tbh) and explains why Rin and Ena are so different from each other. It could also make sense for the other character-based vocaloids albeit a bit less clearly.
Meiko essentially personifies Mizuki's greatest comfort and coping mechanism: stagnation. Mizuki is someone who wouldn't want to defy the status quo. Meiko shares this desire for stagnation but interestingly they express this in opposite ways. Mizuki tends to avoid conflict and even actively step in to stop fights, inadvertently establishing herself as the group's mediator while Meiko is always involved in an argument with another vocaloid. She does this out of a desire to keep the status quo and notably only has friction with those who would seek to change it (Luka and Kaito). She's also a people watcher who prefers to keep her distance. Sound familiar? That's because that's Mizuki's whole thing. It's especially interesting because despite being incredibly unhealthy for Mizuki, the whole keep your distance and observe thing works pretty well when in certain situations, like with Ena in Mizu2. However, this approach is often an inherent obstacle to progress and I love her for that. I love how these guys can 100% make things worse while acting on their best intentions because they were built on depression and unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Now onto Luka and at first glance, comparing her to Kanade in any way shape or form seems like a bit of a stretch but at her core, Kanade acts to promote a change. In order to save someone, you have to create a change in their situation or emotional state. At it's core saving people facilitates change, especially in the context of mental health, because you're getting them to move forward. So Luka acts to bring about change. She asks hard questions that force self reflection (like in Kana6) and tends to bring about changes in routine (getting the least athletic unit to play tag) She also seeks to understand Niigo's issues (a necessary step in making proper change). What I find most interesting about her though, is what it means for Kanade's character and KanaMizu specifically. Kanade seeks out change and understanding while Mizuki seeks stagnation.
The more I think about it, the more I kind of like the idea of the character-sourced vocaloids being based on Mafuyu's perception of her friends rather than directly coming from their feelings. For one, Niigo's influence on the sekai is limited to their influence on Mafuyu which is why in many instances they cannot interact with it like she does (being unable to touch the lake) However, they do have influence since change is typically indirectly caused by them. (The appearance of character-sourced vocaloids)
So now we have one vocaloid per character and here's where I start to deviate from the typical fandom interpretation of these guys. Remember how I sorta implied the boys weren't sourced from Niigo? Yeah.
Okay before you throw your tomatoes, hear me out okay? What if... instead of being parts of Mafuyu... Len and Kaito were necessities.
I should probably explain that huh?
Alright, so Len first. I always found it difficult to connect him to Mafuyu outside of maybe being the personification of a fawn response. But even then, that isn't how Mafuyu's fawn response manifests anymore and so far, the vocaloids are built on Mafuyu's current understanding, so why would a manifestation of her past be there? So what if... he's a representative of kindness instead. He's always been the most openly supportive and empathetic so he fits the role nicely. His timid and skittish nature could be a representative of how difficult it is for Niigo to receive genuine kindness. Kanade doesn't think she deserves it, though Mafuyu receives it most often, it doesn't feel genuine because she's wearing a mask the whole time, Ena also doesn't receive it in the way she wants (compliments and validation of her art instead of her body) and Mizuki is constantly bullied, rarely receiving it without stipulation. Kindness is something they all need in order to heal which is likely the purpose of the empty sekai to begin with, so Len was created.
Last but not least we have Kaito who I believe represents reality. He appears pretty late in the story, probably because Mafuyu (and Niigo as a whole) wasn't quite ready for him. He's harsh and cruel because reality isn't always nice, and it certainly hasn't been for these girls. They needed a bit of an escape before he came into the picture which is why he took so long. Kaito's essentially the guy who goes 'playtimes over it's time to get to work' for Niigo which is needed for any progress to occur. He pushes the girls out of their comfort zone and forces them to confront the truth (you don't have to and shouldn't put up with mistreatment from someone who should love you unconditionally; even though the choice is up to you, you cannot keep existing in this bubble) this also firmly places him as someone who's likely to shake things up (much to Meiko's disdain) This also explains his friction with Luka and his refusal to really befriend anyone. Reality is not and never will be your friend, as a manifestation of reality, Kaito's job is to drop truths and leave. He is not meant to be a friend to anyone. As for Luka, while she and Kaito end up preforming the same role but approach it in different ways. Since Luka is sourced from Kanade, she asks deep questions that force self reflection, reflecting how Kanade asks Mafuyu questions about herself in an attempt to get to know her better. Kaito is reality, he does not give a fuck about you self reflection. He's just going to tell it how it is.
If Luka handled Mizu5 instead of Kaito, she'd probably ask Mizuki what was truly holding her back from telling her secret and whether or not she really believed her friends who she'd known for years would really reject her or see her any differently afterward.
If Kaito handled Kana6, he'd tell Kanade that her desire to save Mafuyu was based on a desire to atone for her perceived sin and she was relying on Mafuyu's poor mental state to provide her with purpose which directly conflicts with her mission to save her.
Ohh Caine still makes cute and totally not weird nicknames to his new friends, well TWO nicknames actually, the first ones being an abreviation of their names, this is because to Caine it's to show how close they are
And Caine has his own nicknames too!! Sometimes they call him just "Buzzy", he's happy to be included and being part of a group
No post this week (unless I make some doodles idk)
But I'll be giving more random information about this cute, silly and definitely not traumatic AU (mostly Caine I'M SORRY I'M STILL CHECKING ALL NIIGO STORY'S and the girls still have their canon personalities so they don't change that much)
- Caine still have his powers but are really more limited than before since he is now a guest in Mafuyu's sekai, he can still make some tricks but that's it, so no adventures
- In the AU it's more explicit that Mizuki IS a trans girl and also the homophobia from his classmates is also explicit too
- When I mention that Kanade and Caine friendship is "just dragging them further into a void" I mean how Caine without noticed it keep motivating Kanade's savior complex, and how they both truly and genuinely believe that a song could save Mafuyu
- The Niigo vocaloids are a little different from the game, in resume they're more actual characters with their own interests and dislikes, they're still made from Mafuyu's feelings but they have a more solid identity
- While being free from his code and the circus, Caine can explore more about the "macroverse" (the real world) and what he ACTUALLY likes besides from the data C&A feed him, he still likes anything circus related, any childish things and bees obviously but he discover he can like more things, such as fashion for example (he was really obsessed with the idea of personalized his "avatar" and Shibuya actually has really cool stores to find amazing clothes!!)
- Caine at first he was kinda shy around the vocaloids bc he doesn't interact with others artificial beings like him, and the only other AI he interact with... He EAT IT!!
- oh I forgot to mention, his online nickname is Bee (not very original sorry) so we have K, Yuki, Enanan, Amia and bee
Ironically this story explores Caine a bit more than one might imagine
In this story, although he keeps his powers, they are quite limited, so he absolutely has to do something he's never done to understand these girls: listen.
As the chapters and time pass, Caine becomes closer to these girls. At first, it was... strange for him. He didn't have to create scenarios for them to ask him about what he liked (like that scene with Jax in ep 7). No, they were GENUINELY willing to know about his life and what interested him..
Caine never had decisions about his life, from his creation he was given a purpose that time and time again failed, trapped in a world where no matter how hard he tried, he never succeeded, but there... In that empty world, he could decide... He was no longer tied to a purpose to fulfill, a code to follow, he could decide what to do about his life, to be the version of himself that he truly was.
And his first major decision upon becoming aware of his freedom was... To stay, to stay in that sekai, with those girls, his friends, to create music together as a group
Although his other big decision was... Not telling the truth about his past, Caine LOVES his friends, he appreciates them too much, he has immense affection for them, and that's why he prefers to hide from them the true reason why he was erased... They only know that he was erased but not the reason, and if they find out... How will they react? Disgust? Revulsion? Hate?
"I'm just running away.. I know one day I'll have to say it, but until that day comes and if I can delay it a little longer.. I want to keep making music with them a little longer"
Both of them are the opposite, yet at the same time they can understand each other, being surrender by expectations that can’t handle anymore, so maybe the can at least empath their pain and rely a little..
At first it was planned for being a comic, but later i decide to be a full ilustration, it’s one of my favorites honestly, i like the colors and makes me notice how i’m in love with art
Gradient map practice, inspired by @/digital_joey on tiktok
Pensaba en tal vez usar los colores y diferentes tonos para expresar como caine al no saber como acercarse emocionalmente a las chicas use de referencia como convivian los humanos en el circo o como se apoyaban y queria representar esto usando ciertos tonos que irian cambiando a lo largo del comic
ellievsbear
theartofmadeline
baratheonpilled
2087
prguitarman
andulkaphoto
