Blue Lock fanfic where Isagi was depressed and couldn't take it anymore
Edited and completed Chapter 1
Still expect grammatical error and or typos.
Summary:
He didn't come to practice that day.
Nobody saw him that day, that was until Bachira decided to open the door to his room.
The body of a star once so bright and full of energy.. now lays there cold and lifeless.
Nobody knew how long since he had passed away, the realization that he was alone during all of this, that he died alone.
Nobody saw the signs, but after a pause, the realization was that there were signs all along, despite being subtle.
The way he stopped cutting his hair, the way his eye bags got darker, how he would wear longer sleeves or arm bands more often, how he would start training excessively until he passed out.
Everything felt heavy, on everyone, those who had a rivalry with him, friends, family, and a good portion of Japan, a star that had a face of pure determination, the heart of Blue Lock. He was gone.
Isagi Yoichi, now ceases to exist.
"...Why did you have to leave?"
Chapter 1
Dear, Bachira
The day after felt heavy.
Nobody wanted to train, it was.. silent.
Ego gave everyone a day off because of the tragedy, besides that, nobody seemed to be in the right mindset.
Meguru couldn't seem to shake off what he saw that day.
The way that time stopped for him when he entered that room.
Seeing the person who he could've considered one of his first real friend in years.
The one person he had been able to connect to.
...His partner.
The one he had always believed in.
Yoichi's body, was still and lifeless, wearing a black tank top and shorts.
His hair longer, the eye bags darker.
His scars no longer hidden from view.
The cuts on his wrists.
The cuts on his thighs.
Just how long had he suffered?
Some cuts could be considered fresh, others old.
"Was that reason why you started covering up more often?" Bachira thought to himself.
There was a pill bottle that lied beside him.
How long was it since Isagi passed away that day?
For how long was he alone?
"Why didn't you tell anyone?"
The whole thing was unsettling.
Yet Isagi had a smile on his face, he looked peaceful, as if he was happy, happy that he was finally free.
The note that was beside his body wasn't any better.
The dried tears and blood on the paper, the shaky handwriting..
"I'm sorry you had to find me this way.
I was always unfit to be a striker, I accepted that long ago.
With this mindset?
I was always destined to die a nobody.
Everyone.. was so much better than me.
It's surprising how far I managed to get though.
Even if the reason was because of the team.
But even so, at least for just one moment I felt like I was on top of the world.
Scoring my own goals.
But I see now that all of them were just sad.
I shouldn't be satisfied just because of those goals.
One could say it could be the bare minimum if you were a skilled player.
It wasn't that my life was bad
At least I don't think it was.
I just couldn't handle it anymore.
It was desperation that driven me to this.
I was desperate to end it.
Because it hurts so bad.
Getting up in the morning felt like a chore
An obligation.
I hope that I never wake up after this honestly.
I hope this attempt works.
But if you were to ask me if I regretted anything?
I'd say no.
I had prepared to leave everything behind.
Growing up, I've always felt like this.
So I planned this day ever since.
Honestly? To anyone who finds this note?
Thank you.
Thank you for checking up on me.
Oh and..
I left something behind back in my house.
It's in the boxes in my room under my bed.
Just a last parting message to each of my loved ones.
Once again, thank you."
"Isagi.. how could you just give up like that?" Bachira muttered under his breath as he stood at the door to Isagi's house.
Without even knocking, Iyo, Isagi's mother had opened the door for Bachira, eyes red puffy but trying to keep it together.
"Come on in.. Yoichi sent you here, I assume?" She spoke.. her voice trying not to crack.
Meguru just gave a nod.
".. I'm sorry about Yoichi's passing ma'am-"
Iyo tried to blink way her tears
"This world was unfair.. cruel and unforgiving." She sobbed
"It took my son away from me."
Bachira felt a pang of guilt seeing Isagi's mother break down like this, it can't be easy for her, her only son died.
Issei, Isagi's father, was nowhere to be seen at the moment.
Bachira gently hugged Iyo, unsure what to do at the moment.
After some time Iyo pulled away, thanking him softly as Meguru walked to Isagi's room.
Entering the room, he took note on how.. it was so clean
He knew Isagi liked to keep things tidy
But this kind of tidy was different.
Like it was easier for some to take away his things
To move them.
As he followed the instructions on the note, he found the boxes, he opened one of them and saw VHS tapes.
There were various names on the tapes, some had concerning titles, others were the different players.
And then one caught his eye, specifically one that had his name on it and the number one beside it.
Probably the order of each VHS tape.
He turned on the TV in the room and inserted the tape into the VHS player.
His heart felt heavy seeing Isagi on the TV as the recording played.
"Hello? Is this on?" Isagi started, checking if it was recording.
—
..Meguru had to pause the recording.
Isagi looked.. beautiful, but he looked.. so tired.. his hair was messy, wearing a loose sweater. He didn't have his binder on, not that it mattered but looking at it from another perspective.
That meant he was willing to be vulnerable at that moment, that he was completely honest and no longer hiding.
He knew Isagi, he didn't let anyone see him without his binder, unless they were trusted enough, that was his way of showing vulnerability and trust.
In a way? He looked cozy.. but the light in his eyes were nowhere to be seen.
".. I'm sorry, for the way the world let you down, my star." Meguru sighed softly as he resumed the recording.
—
"..Okay, great." Then.. a pause. Yoichi taking a deep breath.
He looked back at the camera, a soft smile plastered on his face—almost defeated.
"..To my dear, Bachira."
—
Meguru's heart ached at that.
—
"I'm sorry I never actually told you any of this and kept all of it hidden."
"I didn't want to worry you, but I'm sure that by the time you're watching this, I'm already gone." Isagi bit his lip
"So I guess you're more than worried." Letting out a soft melancholy chuckle.
—
..."Damn right I am." Bachira thought to himself.
—
"I'm sorry that I left so early."
"I had a dream, and you have a dream.."
"I know I said I was gonna be the number one." Yoichi's eyes was slowly welling up with tears each sentence he spoke.
"But.. that can't happen now." Averting his metallic blue orbs from the camera.
"I'm sorry I didn't come to practice."
"I'm sorry I won't be able to hang out with you again."
—
"Why couldn't you tell me anything? Why didn't you reach out to anyone?" Bachira asked, knowing there would be no answer.
—
"...As I'm recording this, I can't help but think about the future we could've had."
"If only the thoughts didn't win."
"I swear, I had a light, that flame that kept burning."
"...Hell, even as I'm recording this, a part of me feels like I want to keep going."
"There's no way I could catch up to you now."
Isagi sniffled, holding tightly onto the pillow beside him.
"It's stupid you know? I had so much ahead of me, so so much potential I could've unlocked in myself!" Yoichi's voice cracked as he cried.
"Everything I could've been! I could've been big, I could've been on top of the world!"
"...But those dreams I had, are now just.. gone with my body and me." His voice faltered.
"...I couldn't help what I felt."
"Or what the voices in my head told me."
"I felt like the pressure that kept building as I bottled everything up"
"I was fighting, fighting so damn hard."
"In the end, I was weak."
"All these voices in my head telling me that I don't deserve to be here, that I have no place in this harsh world, that I'm useless, pathetic, undeserving to be a striker and that I should just go quit soccer and die alone."
"Like a star that used to shine so bright."
"But stars don't shine, they burn, don't they?"
"Burning until they eventually cease to exist."
"Just like me."
—
Bachira's throat tightened, before he knew—tears were already welling up in his eyes.
"You were never weak, Isagi, you were so damn strong, and I wish you saw that."
"Your eyes are amazing on the field. But why can't you see the way I see you? The way that everybody sees you?"
—
"...Soccer, one of my only passions"
"Also seemed to become less fun."
"Instead it felt suffocating."
"Even just waking up in the morning felt like so much work."
"But I kept my smile, I kept the wall up"
"I didn't want anyone to think that I was crumbling."
"I refused to let myself be vulnerable."
"Even in the moments where I needed people the most."
Isagi looks at the camera and gently grips it
"...Hey Bachira, can you promise me, that you won't mourn for me?"
"Keep moving forward. Even without me, didn't you say you wouldn't hesitate to leave me behind?"
"...So do it. Don't let any of this stop you from your training."
—
Bachira had to bite his lip, taking a deep breath.
"I'll try not to mourn."
"I'll continue to train."
"I promise, Yoichi."
"But I'll stay at your grave the longest."
—
"Just please remember me as I am, for who I am."
"Not known as those titles given to me, but simply as me."
"..Yoichi Isagi. "
"Even if I'm dead, I want you to keep smiling, you always had such a bright smile afterall."
"And I loved that about you."
"...A shame I'll never see it again"
"Just like how you won't see me once more, ever."
Isagi smiled despite the tears.
—
Bachira's heart broke.
—
"...I'm grateful for everything, all the things I've learned from you, all of those moments where soccer felt exhilarating as long as you were by my side."
"You're amazing, Bachira."
"You were one of my first friends in Blue Lock."
"You were my trusted teammate."
"My partner."
"...God, I'll miss you."
—
"I'll miss you too."
—
"I guess another thing is that I'm also sorry, learning about your past.."
"It made my heart twist."
"...I grew up okay, you grew up alone. You didn't have anyone in your life except for your mother, you were bullied and was always called weird and odd, you thought you were going to die alone."
—
"Idiot.. How could you worry about me and not look at yourself? Who cares what I went through when you're gone now..?" Meguru gritted his teeth as tears fell.
—
"...So it's ironic how I ended up as the one at the other end of the TV screen."
"... You're honestly so strong."
"I know I don't say it a lot but.."
"I love you, partner."
Then the tape abruptly ended.
Bachira blinked, breathing heavily.
It still felt unreal.
Everything did.
What do you mean Isagi was gone?
What do you mean he'll never see him again and only his grave?
It was like a bunch of bricks falling down on him all at once.
Like a dam, the tears he so desperately tried to hold back the whole time he was watching the tape suddenly burst out.
Bachira never cried this much.
And he cried often.
He looked around the room with teary eyes, his heart heavy, a lump in his throat.
He saw the same sweater that Isagi wore in that video and held it tight to his chest, hoping his scent was still there, something to make everything hurt less. Something to make him feel like he was still there.
But no, there was nothing bringing him back.
He knew that but still tried desperately, pinching himself hoping this was some sick nightmare and that he would wake up.
Isagi isn't just a character he is a phenomenal amazing person.
I got my hair cut just to be like Isagi's
Most of my blue lock merch is Isagi.
My first cosplay is Isagi
WHEN IT COMES TO ISAGI I DON'T PLAY.
I am Isagi Yoichi.
Trust
(GNG PLEASE THIS ISJUST AN APPRECIATION POST DONT TAKE ME AWAYYYY)
(I swear I'm just an Isagi glazer cuz I love him and his character so much and I genuinely see myself as him and deeply relate to him that's why I love him so much and strive to be like him in some way)
Blue Lock fanfic where Isagi was depressed and couldn't take it anymore
W.I.P
Still editing and rechecking grammar and any errors.
Summary:
He didn't come to practice that day.
Nobody saw him that day, that was until Bachira decided to open the door to his room.
The body of a star once so bright and full of energy.. now lays there cold and lifeless.
Nobody knew how long since he had passed away, the realization that he was alone during all of this, that he died alone.
Nobody saw the signs, but after a pause, the realization was that there were signs all along, despite being subtle.
The way he stopped cutting his hair, the way his eye bags got darker, how he would wear longer sleeves or arm bands more often, how he would start training excessively until he passed out.
Everything felt heavy, on everyone, those who had a rivalry with him, friends, family, and a good portion of Japan, a star that had a face of pure determination, the heart of Blue Lock. He was gone.
Isagi Yoichi, now ceases to exist.
_______________________________
Chapter 1: Dear, Bachira.
The day after felt heavy.
Nobody wanted to train, it was.. silent.
Ego gave everyone a day off because of the tragedy, besides that, nobody seemed to be in the right mindset.
Meguru couldn't seem to shake off what he saw that day.
The way that time stopped for him when he entered that room.
Seeing the person who he could've considered one of his first real friend in years.
The one person he had been able to connect to.
...His partner.
The one he had always believed in.
Yoichi's body, was still and lifeless, wearing a black tank top and shorts.
His hair longer, the eye bags darker.
His scars no longer hidden from view.
The cuts on his wrists.
The cuts on his thighs.
Just how long had he suffered?
Some cuts could be considered fresh, others old.
"Was that reason why you started covering up more often?" Bachira thought to himself.
There was a pill bottle that lied beside him.
How long was it since Isagi passed away that day?
For how long was he alone?
"Why didn't you tell anyone?"
The whole thing was unsettling.
Yet Isagi had a smile on his face, he looked peaceful, as if he was happy, happy that he was finally free.
The note that was beside his body wasn't any better.
The dried tears and blood on the paper, the shaky handwriting..
"I'm sorry you had to find me this way.
I was always unfit to be a striker, I accepted that long ago.
With this mindset?
I was always destined to die a nobody.
Everyone.. was so much better than me.
It's surprising how far I managed to get though.
Even if the reason was because of the team.
But even so, at least for just one moment I felt like I was on top of the world.
Scoring my own goals.
But I see now that all of them were just sad.
I shouldn't be satisfied just because of those goals.
One could say it could be the bare minimum if you were a skilled player.
It wasn't that my life was bad
At least I don't think it was.
I just couldn't handle it anymore.
It was desperation that driven me to this.
I was desperate to end it.
Because it hurts so bad.
Getting up in the morning felt like a chore
An obligation.
I hope that I never wake up after this honestly.
I hope this attempt works.
But if you were to ask me if I regretted anything?
I'd say no.
I had prepared to leave everything behind.
Growing up, I've always felt like this.
So I planned this day ever since.
Honestly? To anyone who finds this note?
Thank you.
Thank you for checking up on me.
Oh and..
I left something behind back in my house.
It's in the boxes in my room under my bed.
Just a last parting message to each of my loved ones.
Once again, thank you."
"Isagi.. how could you just give up like that?" Bachira muttered under his breath as he stood at the door to Isagi's house.
Without even knocking, Iyo, Isagi's mother had opened the door for Bachira, eyes red puffy but trying to keep it together.
"Come on in.. Yoichi sent you here, I assume?" She spoke.. her voice trying not to crack.
Meguru just gave a nod.
".. I'm sorry about Yoichi's passing ma'am-"
Iyo tried to blink way her tears
"This world was unfair.. cruel and unforgiving." She sobbed
"It took my son away from me."
Bachira felt a pang of guilt seeing Isagi's mother break down like this, it can't be easy for her, her only son died.
Issei, Isagi's father, was nowhere to be seen at the moment.
Bachira gently hugged Iyo, unsure what to do at the moment.
After some time Iyo pulled away, thanking him softly as Meguru walked to Isagi's room
As he followed the instructions on the note, he found the boxes, he opened one of them and saw VHS tapes, and then one caught his eye, specifically one that had his name on it.
He turned on the TV in the room and inserted the tape into the VHS player.
His heart felt heavy seeing Isagi on the TV as the recording played.
"Hello? Is this on?" Isagi started, checking if it was recording.
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