... over the past few years I have hurt friends by my abusive behaviors. No matter how you put it, I’ve acted incredibly abusive and toxic. From hurtful words I’ve spewed, to being needy for validation every two seconds, or disrespecting boundaries, these behaviors are WRONG no matter which way you break it down. While I do have bpd and other mental illnesses, it is not an excuse by ANY means to cause harm to anyone whether intentional or not. My silence here for the past few weeks is due to getting back into therapy, med management and to take a break from the online world. I’ve started to reconnect with friends & family by taking a huge step back... and clarity was needed. Starting the healing process was needed. I will always admit I was wrong in the ways I have acted toward people I was supposed to care about. I will always admit what I’ve said, never deny what I’ve done or the damage I have caused. My actions, my words and the constant emotional weight I’ve pressed onto others are things I cannot take back. I can only learn, grow and become a better person from this point forward. I do not want to cause drama, I don’t want to continue my bullshit. With that being said— anons will be off. If anyone has anything they want to talk to me about directly, my DMs and Discord are always open! Sometimes getting lost in the online world causes you to forget yourself, and not only did I do that, but I became obsessed and problematic to those around me. ( me @ing myself tbh.) Life is good, our loved ones care and love us, and we need to always remember to find validation in OURSELVES before we seek it from anyone else. We need to take accountability for any and all actions. I know things will get better from here on out. As the wonderful Miss RuPaul would say, “if you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” With that being said, I wish nothing but love, joy, positivity and blessings to previous writing partners, friends and to anyone else I have harmed. The first step to healing is to admit when you’ve done wrong, to look at yourself in the mirror and to CHANGE for the better. Self-awareness is a powerful thing. Toxic behaviors? Trash. We’re changing for the BETTER in 2021. 🙏. With that being spewed out...I do want to write again in the future, once I have a straight head on my shoulders! I want to showcase more selflessness vs the selfishness I’ve shown. I need to do better by my writing partners, and I plan to be the person I’m meant to be, not the person my actions and non-therapy having ass had become. . Not everyone wants to hurt one another, not everyone is out to cause you harm. I am so incredibly sorry for not believing in those who had to deal with my outburst countless times, only to get hit with more and more emotional selfishness. I accept full responsibility for all damage caused. And if you or a loved one are dealing with mental health issues, please seek help. Making excuses will cause further turmoil. Just because you say “ Well I didn’t intend to..” it doesn’ make it okay or erase the PAIN your words have caused someone else. My discord is bunni valentine#0888, my DMs are open and I am here to have open conversations with anyone who would like to. Please know, that just because I am saying sorry — it does not give me any right to anyone’s forgiveness. I’m pretty open when it comes to transparency— I will admit every shitty I’ve done and grow from it. Thank you for listening. ❤️
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