Bought A Brand New Car And Now We Are In A Huge Debt Thanks To My Mother
It's hard dealing problem with your family most specially talking financial problem with your mother.
I have been working for 3 years now. After I graduated, last 2017, I just took 2-3 months of vacation and then looked for a job to help my family and of course for myself. We are not the rich ones so we need extra to sustain our daily lives. My father has stopped working after years of working abroad. My mother's work is not something we can rely on. Her salary can't fully support us. It's like 1/4 of what we need. She does extra work like selling foods and stuff but it's on and off. My brother does have a good job just before this pandemic but now, he doesn't have. So currently, it's only me and my mother who has a job and since we are in pandemic (and the pandemic really struck hard here in PH), we're struggling right now.
Now, the conflict begins way before when I was still studying in college and my father used to work abroad. My mother has a lot of debts and I don't know where to start counting. She owed a lot from her boss, workmates and relatives. Our house is not even done yet in construction but we still have to pay for it. I don't even know what are these debts she needs to pay and why we have a lot when my father had been working his ass off outside the country. I did try to be a scholar just to lessen our expenses because my chosen course/program's tuition is expensive. And yes, I did get sometimes but you know what I remembered then was, my mother would tell me not to say it to my father so he would still send us enough money.
Now, my mother decided to buy a car. The first reason is because my father has been stucked at home ever since quitting a job and he seems like bored to death as to her eyes, the second is to make it a source of income like registering it to Grab, a ride service, but unfortunately as soon as we get the car, the pandemic strucked, the openings for it's application has been closed and now we are stuck in a huge debt.
In order to buy that car, she borrowed a lot from different people and made extra means just to seal a deal with the car dealer. Take note that they bought a brand new 6-seater car. The downpayment is loaned, the following payment will still be loaned and the fucking insurance that's free for only the first year needs to be paid for the following years.
My mother didn't even consult me on this or talked about it. We didn't make any discussion. I wasn't there when they decided to buy it. I was living far away because my work is far from our home. The next thing I knew, I was called by the agent to sign papers I didn't wish to sign.
I did say I want to work to help my family and support them the best but I didn't work to pay for our debts my entire life. Almost 2/3's of my salary goes to them and still not enough to pay for it. News flash? We need to fullfill the payment for over 5 years. And that car hasn't been a year with us but it already faced 3 accidents.
I do have a lot of visions for myself and this family. I want to atleast finish the construction of our house and have a room for myself. I want to study and have master's degree so that I won't be stuck in the same industry being a graphic artist for my whole life. Fun fact? I really want to work in film industry but I can't do that because it doesn't pay a lot and it'll be a luck if they pay but how can I achieve it?
I don't mind lending money to my mother but until when? When I talked to her and said, "let's just sell it", "or at least we buy a secondhand because I knew someone before (but since u didn't tell me the plan, the offer is off)" and many things like, " we can find an alternative work or things to do for my father", she goes emotional.
She would say, "it's not like you (I) didn't use it for your own good. If not for the car, you wouldn't be able to go to your work (because apparently, the pandemic took all the jobs including transportation system)", "I did all the work to get it and now all I get is blame?" "We are just having difficulty now and I should be blamed for it?" And things like, "Okay, if I will be able to sell it, you won't be seeing me in the future. I'll never come back, sure there's a lot of places I can sleep at." So on and so forth.
It's really difficult for me. I did have a talk with my father and he also regrets having one because of the debts and misfortunes that happened. He told me that he doesn't like having debts to anyone most especially now that he doesn't have work. My mother would nag him just to make him borrow some money to our relatives in his side and it pains him because he's been working ever since I was a child and now we're still paying debts? "If not your mother, I would'nt buy this."
I don't know what to do. I can't even work from home properly because my laptop can't even do good. My savings has been reduced because I lend it to mother. I've been saving it to buy a new laptop and for the future, investments and emergencies.
Yes, I am aware that it really helped me during this pandemic and I'm truly grateful for that but is it really the thing we need now that it's only me who has a better paying job? Do I need to work abroad too? What solutions do I need? How can I even talk to her without her raising the victim card or being too emotional about it? I don't know what to do. It's really exhausting and I'm having anxiety about this. I don't want to see my mother hurting and crying over this but I've been crying inside, too.
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