bunny love

25 yr old from new hampshire that moves around a lot, makes music, and contemplates life. www.bunnylove.bandcamp.com https://soundcloud.com/bunnylove69

[bunnylove69]

[bunnylove69]

song I made about coming off drugs on the ubahn after partying all night in berlin

[bunnylove69]

this me

[bunnylove69]

lyrics: my body stiffened and my feet grew my brain churned and i questioned what was true the wiser ones laughed in the clouds as my mortality split and divided i looked into pages and i looked into screens but when i looked into mirrors i saw nothing

i learned rules for how to behave in my head determined by the parts living between my legs i learned rules for how to behave in my head and by nineteen i would be dead

always felt like some kind of other searching for reassurance in the attire of my mother staying up late wishing i could be someone else or dead at least, that's how i always felt i looked into pages and i looked into screens but when i looked into mirrors i saw nothing

[bunnylove69]

[bunnylove69]

Me w cat from my work

[bunnylove69]

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song i made about body issues, gender dysphoria, alienation, loneliness.

lyrics: i want to feel the intangible. i want everything to be fine. i want to trade in my body and i want to trade in my mind.

and i’d lay down in my bed when i was just a little kid and i’d pray and pray and pray about the horrible things that “god” did.

i want to feel the intangible. i want everything to be fine. i want to trade in my body and i want to trade in my mind.

trapped in the skin i’ve been placed in. trapped in the skin i’ve been placed in. i’m doing time in my mind…

just a disconnected piece. i am invisible.

crawling one step at a time. sitting on the sidelines. i never read the guidelines. saying everything is fine. i’m doing time in my mind. i’m doing time in my mind. etc etc

[bunnylove69]

this is one of the first songs i ever wrote a few years ago when i taught myself guitar. it’s basically an early 20′s existential crisis. i still kinda feel the same now. at the time i was listening to a lot of folk punk kind of stuff. 

i just wanna be happy, and do what i want

but nothing makes me happy and i don’t know what i want

lyrics: 

well i guess i'm a young adult. and "young adult" is right. because i look a little bit older. but feel fucking immature. i'm just drifting around. wasting my brain power. i'll probably fall back asleep in another half an hour. well i got good grades in grade school. this made me feel accomplished. and i'd play video games and be satisfied when i beat them. but now i don't know how to measure success inside or if i'm driving well on this fucked up crazy ride. well i'm working a couple jobs now. i feel okay when i get paid. but i still feel hollow at the end of the day. they told me follow your dreams you can be anything. a doctor or a scientist or a pediatrician. but i don't know what i wanna be or even my beliefs. i guess i gotta cling to something and see where it takes me. i can travel other countries, try to help out the world. or be a social worker, help out orphaned boys and girls. i can be a hedonist and do lots of drugs. or work a desk job fixing computer bugs. i can pursue money, try my best to be rich. or try to start a family and be a monogamist. i can pursue money, try to get a good career. or i can pursue freedom do whatever i feel.

i just want to be happy and do what i want, but nothing makes me happy and i don't know what i want.

sometimes i really wish i was just one of those kids. who has their life planned out. don't live with too much doubt. find a path and keep burning bright, just be content and keep living life. but i could never be like this. my life's one big existential crisis. one day i see the human race and i'm glad to be alive. and the next i wanna separate myself, go far away and hide. one moment i want to leave everything, travel all around the land. and the next i wanna get a place to live with all of my friends. one moment i have faith, and feel spiritual. and the next i feel bleak because i know i'm gonna rot in a hole. and then i try to tell myself that i'm just being dramatic. but then i start to think that i actually have some kind of problem. one moment i will be content and proud of my life and the next i feel depressed staring at the big knife in the dish room as i wash the dishes contemplating my life. and someone will ask "how you doing today" and i'll tell them that "i'm doing okay" but what else am i gonna say? that this pit in my stomach is starting to get way too big and i'm starting to believe that i don't know how to live? but i really am okay because my body's working fine and i still am capable of utilizing my mind. i have some awesome friends, and a couple decent jobs. so why do i feel like i'm gonna throw up?

well i just wanna be happy and do what i want. but nothing makes me happy and i don't know what i want.