so gentle
so kind

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@burningem
so gentle
so kind
Stuffed butternut squash with tempeh…RECIPE
my fall look today is winged eyeliner, plum lipstick, and a look on my face like i’m fucking your boyfriend and can’t wait for you to find out.
My fall look is simple liner with bold lashes, burgundy lipstick, a gleam in my eyes that let’s men know that I’ll suck their dick, their money out of their bank accounts, and the souls right out of their bodies.
this is my favorite post on tumblr currently
Ilustrations by the incredible Carol Rossetti check her out and follow her here! http://carolrossettidesign.tumblr.com/
This is importand.
so so SO important
honestly, its the dishes again, there are dishes everywhere
i shouldnt be on here. i have four sections left of my homework and its due in an hour but skinny love just came on the radio.
i feel loved and lovely and content. there are things to work out but nothing is bad. im surrounded by people that love me and everything will work itself out in the end.
So, I've been reading Fuck It or should I say, I read it. I finished it two nights ago.
This has really put an interesting perspective on my day-to-day musings.
The gist of everything is to just take your hands off the wheel and everything will take care of itself. No more worrying about anything.
For instance, for years, I have been practicing the art of not letting things bother me. I do my best to let it roll off my shoulders and take deep breaths because nothing is worth wasting all of that energy over.
However, the book told me to feel it, stop trying to not be mad. People get mad. Everyone feels angry and sad just as much as they feel happy and elated. So, just let it happen.
That's so hard.
I came home from school and the sink was full of dishes. (I feel bad for writing about it because I'm wasting energy being upset about it right now.) The dishwasher on the other hand, had been cycled and was dry BUT THERE WAS ONLY 4 PLATES AND 3 GLASSES AND A SKILLET IN THERE.
WHAT THE ACTUAL EVER LOVING HOLY FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!
My mom gave me those dishwasher tablets and there's only eight left. I know that if it bugs me, I should talk to them about it, but I don't use the dishwasher. I hand wash all of my dishes. So according to the Fuck It Way, I should do exactly how I feel.
That involves: 1. Never mentioning the use of my dishwasher tablets to anyone ever because I hate conflict. 2. Let my roommates run out of dishwasher tablets and never buy any ever again, therefore freeing myself from any and all care or concern for another dishwasher tablet as long as I live with them.
I feel good about it. Very good about it. Eight dishwasher cycles to go and I won't care any more.
But I'm also free to feel whatever I want to feel about them and not tell myself not to. Because that is living.
So I hate that they are so dirty and they don't clean up after they cook and the floor is filthy and they always turn the heat on if it ever gets below 60 degrees outside.
I'm done. I feel better. Thank you.
i love how when i click the text post button, it automatically knows its going to be for this blog.
its so cold outside so i am inside doing homework to catch up for the week, i have green tea and snacks and comfy clothes, and im happy.
i swapped my sheets and comforter this week and my bed has turned into a palace. ive done good to stay out of it today.
since last tuesday, i havent had a boy to text, its been a week since i talked to aaron. we were never really friends, just a source of butterflies for each other. im growing every day and i need to focus on school so so much. i still wonder about that ginger boy and what he is doing. i know the feeling of being ghosted now and it was ugly and hard and it stung but im glad that it happened. it was the first crush i wanted to pursue and im glad that im still brave enough to go for it. im a magical being of bravery and guts and insight.
im really ready for this semester to be over. all of my classes are over after friday and then finals are next week but then im done. there is nothing to do until june. i know im going to be squeezing some shadowing in but ill just be laying around, getting my tan on and being with my friends and family and it will be so welcomed after the last couple of months that ive had.
its been long and lonely but i feel like i learned from all of it. there were important lessons hidden deep down in everything that happened to me. all of the nights i lay here alone and the one night i wasnt alone. ive never had to not have sex with someone so much before. im glad i didnt though. it wasnt what i needed.
so for the next few weeks:
1) get through finals and tests this week
2) meet up with courtney because i missed her baby shower due to being supremely hungover (i told her it was because i ate some bad oysters, i just couldnt be honest about it)
3) find someone who will let me shadow them, for chrissake. why is that so hard?!
4) get some serious sunshine and perfect the art of not eating meat.
wow, ive got some serious aspirations. *coughwutcough*
Hey so yeah I was texting him and we were having a moment and it was really funny and I told him about an arctic monkeys song and he says remind me tomorrow I'm out like oh okay cool yeah me too whatevs hairflip
i am back home now and making gifs while im supposed to be doing my math homework.
this is my first try at giffing and i think i look like a crazy person but it accurately captures my emotions towards my math homework right now.
i didnt drink any coffee this morning because i have been focusing on detoxing. well i still felt cruddy after class and i talked to my friend and i realized that i needed to drink some coffee. im a 3+ cups a day kinda gal and i havent had any since Saturday. i feel so much better now.
for the rest of the day im going to:
1. go to SI
2. go to the clinic at home and get my forms filled out
3. see my sweet, sweet family.
i wasnt going to go home because i had a bad weekend, i was going to try and muddle through and feel better on my own but now i have to go back home anyways so i get to kill two birds with one stone
T.S. Eliot
i feel so much better this morning.
im eating some oatmeal with berries in it and im about to take a shower, i just wanted to think this out a little first.
im going to be taking things very slow this week. i want to get back to feeling better. i guess this is how its always been for me. i drink a lot for a couple weeks and then i go through a restorative period where i dont drink at all. maybe thats why im so back and forth.
i feel like not drinking is a good place in my life right now though. that is where im supposed to be and we will see where it takes us.
im okay with it. im ready feel better and be okay. yesterday really bit me in the ass. i dont want to go through that again.
This one time I painted a living room with a girl.
This was a handful of years back. It was about eight months before the huge, flame-out of a breakup. That day, though? That day we painted the living room? It was pretty uneventful. We painted my parents living room for $50 between us and a pizza. That was it. I think we watched Anchorman or something after that.
But it still holds as on of the most indelible memories I have. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not still in love, it happened, it was good, it ended, and we’ve both moved on. But I’ll never forget that day. Because it’s never, in the long run, about the grand gestures. You can fly across the world and show up on her doorstep with a rose in your teeth and a ring in a little velvet box but I can guarantee you that - more often than not - she’s going to remember the time you built the birdhouse in the back yard, or what have you, a whole lot more.
Life wasn’t meant to be taken in large movements. The next day will inevitably arrive, you’ll sleep, and the moment will have passed. But when you have a hundred thousand small moments, you can step back and appreciate the picture a lot more than metaphorically blowing your load on some grand moment that, in all honesty, look, you’re not Bruce Fucking Springsteen, you’re not going to be able to blow everyone’s mind every single night. You’re not Romeo and/or Juliet. There’s no reason to drink the poison together in some flame-out gesture. So that leaves us with the small stuff. It’s all about the detail.
That’s what love is. Attention to detail.
And the moment will end. And then things will get boring. And it might get a little quiet. And it might all end horribly. And you might hate eachother at the end. And you might walk away from eachother one day and never speak again. But that’s just how it goes.
But she’ll remember the time you held the door open for her on your first date. She’ll remember the time you laughed at her impression of the landlady. She’ll remember the time you stayed up all night that first time. She’ll remember the small things a lot longer than the big ones.
But everything ends. And I’ll tell you why you have to make the small things, the small moments count so much more:
One day, probably a while longer from now, when old age takes ahold of someone, she might just only remember your smile. Everything you ever did together, every second, every moment, every beat, every morning spent in bed, every evening spent together on the sofa, all of that - gone. Everything you ever did will be reduced to the head of a pin. She won’t remember your name. She’ll just remember your smile, and she’ll smile. She won’t know why. It’s a base, gut reaction. But she’ll smile, uncontrollably, and it will come from somewhere so deep as to know that you touched her on a primal, honest, and true level that no scientist, scholar, or savant could ever begin to explain. There is no more. There is nothing else. There is just this: She’ll remember your smile, and she’ll smile.
And you know what? That’s all that really matters in the end.
I just cried at this
i’m now in tears.