Since becoming a mum I have lost everything I was before I was a Mum. Don’t get me wrong, I love my son more than anything, but I feel like I’m being punished for making the right decisions for him. I decided if I was gonna do this whole parenting thing I would dedicate everything to it. I know my son is happiest around his parents and that I’m important to him, so I’ve been there pretty much every hour of his life since he arrived. I haven’t had a break. Sometimes this bothers me but in the end I know it’s the best thing for him and I’ll never regret spending ‘too much’ time with my baby. Half the people in my life feel like I’m being ‘selfish’ for not ‘sharing’ my son with them. They don’t want to make the effort to come and see us but they expect me to leave him in their care when I’m not around. NO. That’s not me being selfish, that’s them being selfish… but it means they now think I’m a horrible mean woman for not treating my baby like some sort of toy. The other half of people seem to have forgotten about me because I’m not as fun as I used to be, or because I have to plan everything around Finn, or because I can only socialise at certain times of the day. I have made new friends since having Finn but feel like the people in my life before he was here are a distant memory. I’m not talking about EVERYONE but a large portion. I knew things would change but I’m now left feeling so down about everything and feeling like I have no real close friends to talk to about it. I don’t even know if anyone reads this anymore. Probably not, but oh well. I just needed to talk about this because I feel at the lowest I’ve ever felt.
