Burning Platinum

∞ Taken ∞ 17 ∞ Pisces ∞ English ∞

[silverhawk]

“sharks aren’t vicious!!! they’re like huge puppy dogs!! they’re big sweethearts and i dont understand why people are scared of them!!”

“sharks do not attack humans in the way movies constantly portray them. sharks are curious, inquisitive animals and many bites come from sharks who “test bite” humans in order to see what they are/if they’re a threat, but that one initial bite can be fatal. while sharks are not monsters bent on hunting and targeting humans, human who hand feed them and treat them like any other animal causes more human-shark incidents (sharks can become used to humans feeding them and thus bite at a human to find fish). sharks are not blood thirsty maneaters, but they are an extremely powerful animal that deserves respect and should be admired from a distance.”

[angelfrommontgomery]

Anybody else got like,, rlly random connections to famous ppl?? Like my older brothers were friends w Jennifer Lawrence when they were like 12 and I just found out I’m friends w the cousin of the girl who voiced honey lemon in big hero six like, idk what I’m supposed to do with either of these tid bits I feel like I was supposed to live my life in ignorance of them

[deadbeatmaker]

my grandma accidentally kinda threatened one of our top politicians with a knife

[babyanimalgifs]

[mcapriglioneart]

how to draw arms ? ? 

[swagginsloths]

holy fuck

[shoutsofthunder]

holy fuck is right… but… does it work with legs???

[mcapriglioneart]

yes !!

[peeacho-blog]

some comedy b4 we get into the scary

[luckydreaming]

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

[drxgonfvcker-deactivated2019061]

I don’t really believe this mumbo jumbo

I mean it’s a goddamn hat.

Right..?

The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-

[running-with-toast]

I wonder if this works with other kinds of hat…

Nothing ventured, nothing gained…

WHEEEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[onceuponakhaleesi]

Men of Tumblr are my favorite kind of people…

[jamesbleach]

wait, does that mean?

oh boy…….

[usedtobehmc]

Luckily, this nonsense doesn’t work on girls.

Observe…

[rootbeergoddess-deactivated2017]

IT’S GOTTEN BETTER!

[coffeeandcursewords]

This post is immaculate

[mobians-and-chaos-blog]

It can’t be true.

And it can’t possibly work on motorcycle helmets.

I must test it.

Nothing happening so far…

[strampunch]

HOLY SHIT IT WORKS

[pokemon-chick-1personalblog-blog]

What in the world?

Oh why not? This should be interesting.

Here we go!

Were all mad here in Underland!

What the hell! Never Again!

… Actually …

One more time.

[combthecombel]

Alright, I gotta try this!

Can’t be that bad!

….

…oh my god…

[reuseablemenow-deactivated20200]

Bonus:

ey happy birthday tjeff i hate you 

[kiwi]

“you’re so polite!” thank you i have anxiety

[scenesonic]

yes…. I know braces probably didn’t exist in this time period.. but shhhh consider

bonus:

[historical-hamilfacts-blog]

Hamilfact #001

As a young aide-de-camp for Washington, the other aides affectionately called Hamilton “Ham” and “Hammie”

[historical-hamilfacts-blog]

So let’s talk about Peggy Schuyler for a hot sec shall we?

Forgotten by, well… Everybody in the musical, real life badass? Yeah.

In August 1781 about 20 men came barging into the Schuyler mansion to kidnap Phillip Schuyler and stole a bunch of weapons. Schuyler ran upstairs with his family to prepare to escape, when suddenly everybody remembered that the youngest of the Schuyler children, Catherine, had been left in her crib BY THE FRONT DOOR, where at this moment a bunch of Tories were breaking in.

Both Angelica and Eliza were pregnant at the time, so Peggy snuck downstairs to get the baby.

As she got downstairs, the leader of the kidnappers blocked her way with his musket and demanded her to tell him where Schuyler was.

“Gone to alarm the town,” she replied calmly. Didn’t even bat an eye and picked up her baby sister.

This freaked the raiding party out significantly, and fearing they’d get caught, they ran.

Legend has it though that as they turned to go, one of the men threw a tomahawk at Peggy’s head as she ran back up the stairs with Catherine. There are scratches on the banister of the Schuyler mansion to this day that are said to be from where the tomahawk hit.

So in summary - helped her father escape capture - saved her little sister - did not give a shit when a bunch of 20 armed men burst into her house and got all of them to retreat with a single sentence

And if you don’t know now you know, everybody

[artyowlsstuff]

Okay people, history-fail story-time...

So back in the 1780′s when our country was still figuring crap out and ol’ George Washington was just elected president, G.W. decided to send a letter to Congress along the lines of ‘Looking forward to working with you all, this will be exciting!” Congress, not wanting to slight the president and also trying to express their own enthusiasm, sent back a letter along the lines of “Glad you’re excited, we are also looking forward to working with you!”

Then George sends another letter back saying something like “Cool cool bros, glad you’re just as excited as I am,” and Congress, again not wanting to be awkward or just ignore the PRESIDENT, sent back ANOTHER letter saying some dumb crap that was probably along the lines of “Glad you’re excited that we’re excited that you’re excited.”

Democracy at its finest.

And while this in itself is funny, that is not even the best part.

George Washington, while being powerful, was not extremely eloquent, and at this point was also aging, busy, and overall very stressed about his new position (which he did not want in the first place).  So he asked his old friend James Madison, who had a much better way with words, to write the first note to Congress.  Good old James Madison, wanting to oblige his friend, did just that and composed the note to Congress.  Now, J-Mads was himself a member of Congress, so when the note arrived, he was in session to hear “Washington’s” letter read.

Congress got nervous and worried about who could possibly compose a formal and acceptable letter back to Washington.  Who better than his old friend, James Madison?  So Jimmy, being obliging, wrote the response.  When Washington received the reply, he once again asked his friend to write the response.  

And who did Congress choose to write their final letter? That’s right….none other than Jimmy-James-Madison himself.

So James Madison, future 4th president of the United States, wrote himself 4 letters under the guise of George Washington and the first Congress of the U.S.  And he was too embarrassed to admit it.

[peasantbarbie]

catfish of the millenium

[lilacblossoms]

“Alexander Hamilton founded the New York Post” sounds a lot less impressive when you learn the rest of that sentence goes:

“so he could publicly talk smack about the other founding fathers”

[emm-yem]

Don’t u mean MORE impressive

He literally founded a newspaper that is still in circulation today

So he could shit talk his colleagues. Idk bout u, but most people I know just subtweet that now.

[whineandbeerisdeleting-deactiva]

There was literally an article in this Sunday’s New York Post dragging Aaron Burr for saddling NYC with a grid system instead of wide Parisian boulevards. The first line was “We’ll never have Paris here in New York. But we could have … if not for Aaron Burr.” Marvelous. Hamilton’s ghost is weeping tears of joy.

[lilacblossoms]

This is the best addition to this post in 10,000+ notes and I would like to personally thank you for sharing this crucially important historical development

200+ years later and Burr still can’t catch a break from Alexander Hamilton’s legacy

[slutshame-alexanderhamilton]

More Top Moments in Early American History

- James Madison “accidentally” buys prostitutes for foreign ambassadors

- Jefferson eating a tomato like an apple at a dinner and everyone rushing off to find a doctor because Americans thought tomatoes were poisonous

- Washington and Lafayette falling asleep under a tree after Monmouth

- Washington cursing out Charles Lee after his retreat

- James Armistead Lafayette, who was a badass spy during the revolution and gave Lafayette vital information which led to the victory at Yorktown. Lafayette freed him and James was so grateful he took Lafayette’s last name

- Lafayette being given an alligator as a gift and, not knowing what to do with it, regifting it to John Quincy Adams

- the Constitutional Convention going out and getting turnt two days before the signing of the Constitution, and some of the additional charges being a broken chair, cups, and chamber pots

- John Hancock being smol

- Alexander Hamilton’s argument against hanging John Andrè basically being “he’s too pretty”

- Aaron Burr sleeping through Valentine’s Day

- Lafayette naming his ONLY son after George Washington

- Ben Franklin and John Adams once having to share a room with one bed and falling asleep arguing whether or not they should sleep with the window open or closed

- Ben Franklin taking “air baths” which consisted of him sitting naked in a bathtub for hours a day

- Aaron Burr having a knife hidden in the handle of his umbrella, and then LOSING said umbrella

- John Adams’ kid Charles once ran naked across Harvard Yard

- Alexander Hamilton losing his check book and having to write the bank of New York for a new one, while also requesting his account balance which he didn’t know, which he wrote in the check book, which he lost

- Aaron Burr hitting his head on the same pipe twice jfc he’s such a mess

- Thomas Jefferson getting a terrible headache for two days after behaving awkwardly in front of a girl

- John Adams naming his dog Satan

- Alexander Hamilton’s letters to his totally hetero bro™ John Laurens being censored by his descendants

- George Washington running for the House of Burgesses and getting his constituents totally smashed so they would vote for him

[lesbianbridgetroll]

Charming! Delightful! Never have I enjoyed such a swearing before or since.

Lafayette talking about George Washington cursing at Charles Lee for the battle of Monmouth (from Washington by Ron Chernow page 342)  (via its1800)

[jfkjrs-blog]

When Washington arrived on September 14, Lafayette was waiting for him. A Virginian militiaman reported that Lafayette ‘caught the General round his body, hugged him as close as it was possible, and absolutely kissed him from ear to ear once or twice … with as much ardor as ever an absent lover kissed his mistress on his return.’

Lafayette in the Somewhat United States by Sarah Vowell, page 236-37 (via napoleonbonapartes)

[publius-esquire-deactivated2018]

Top Three Most Petty Things Jefferson Did to Hamilton:

1. Called him a hypochondriac when he caught yellow fever

2. Approved of him getting stoned by a mob while defending the Jay Treaty

3. Literally mounted a bust of his head on his wall at Monticello like a hunting trophy