regarding hamilton: 8/30/2020
i decided to make this post cuz i am so genuinely tired of still getting asks regarding hamilton even years after i publicly denounced it and attempted to cut ties.
my old art and behaviors were racist, full stop. i am a (nonblack) trans man of color but none of that excuses my past behavior. being of a marginalized group does not prevent you from being bigoted. if i could go back and stop myself i would, but i can’t. the pain i caused cannot be undone and it’s important i acknowledge that in every single way i can. i can say all i want that it was never my intention, which is 100% true, but it doesn’t fix anything. the first step was to shut up and listen, the second step was to change accordingly.Â
here i am almost 3 years later to tell you i’ve come full circle. i’m here to tell you that i was fucking stupid. i was an incredibly insecure dumb 14 year old and unable to take any form of criticism, and me not working on that led to an awful domino effect of letting my toxic behaviors go unchecked. and to the bitter end i refused to acknowledge that because it’s easier to wallow in self pity.
and now i realize that denouncing the musical/fandom itself isn’t enough, i have to publicly acknowledge the part i played and the damage i have done. i’m near 18 years old now, and the effects are still there. i see them in my inbox to this day, people having nostalgia for the disgusting shit i’ve done. it’s nauseating, and with the new disney plus release the feeling has grown and grown and i have to say something on the blog where those very mistakes are archived; as more people seek me out for that content.
i’m not looking for forgiveness really, i just feel it’s extremely necessary to say i know what i’ve done and will continue to correct myself. but to the people i have hurt: i am truly sorry and there is zero obligation to forgive me for everything i’ve done.
as for the white hamilton fans who still are not understanding why i’m saying this: do your part and do your research. stop valuing your own pleasure over correcting your racist behavior.
i’ll get you started
- miguel (or previously, bunny-yams)
