“It’s killing me to see you this way.”
he had felt it BURNING in his hearts , spitting && twisting at his blood , turning away at him like smoke in a flame . hands clenched painfully into fists , the doctor kept his head down , eyes dark && jaw twitching as he stared down at the console . he HATED this . he hated these situations . he couldn’t save them . couldn’t save them . ripples into tidal waves . he couldn’t . one wrong move - one ! && he could unravel problems for centuries to come . he hated the situation yes , but the doctor knew deeper yet that it wasn’t the situation he hated most . it was himself .
how could he COVET the name of doctor ? a name for a healer && wise man when he was stupid , blinkered && so unable to save those who deserved saving ? how could he keep going on like this ? COULD he keep going on like this ? hand curled around one of the gears of the TARDIS console , his eyes fixed ahead && trying desperately not to let his anger && emotion get the better of him . if he did , he knew that he would try going back . try fixing things . && making everything so , so much WORSE .
he felt a hand , SOFTER && SMALLER than his gently go over his own , pulling it away from the lever . he tugged his hand away , taking a deep breath , he walked away from her , grabbing the scanner with him to stand at the other side . closing his eyes for a moment , he tried shaking all the BAD THOUGHTS from his head .
run away doctor . do what you’re good at . just run away . he flicked a switch && pulled the TARDIS into flight , standing away && watching the centre column move up && down . ‘ YOU’LL LIVE . ’ he said darkly .
meme ;; not- accepting ;; @shewandersoff
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