shared this over DMs the other day but I need to go public with this information. if patrick bateman lived in the pokemon universe his partner pokemon would be a pikachu because he is preoccupied with fitting in and conforming, and a pikachu is basically the trendiest and most "normal" pokemon for someone to have. and he would hate it because he didn't choose it out of a place of genuine love or passion. but he would still spend way too much time feeding it gourmet food, grooming it, and keeping it looking nice enough that it could honestly do pretty well in a contest if he ever entered it in one. but he wouldn't enter it in one, he would keep it in a designer pokeball most of the time and he wouldn't even be very nice to it (we literally have canonical information on how he'd treat a captured rat...). but all his coworkers and friends and such would see him pampering this perfectly bred pikachu and they'd think he's some kind of pokemon expert and they'd ask him questions all the time about which pokemon are best for which lifestyles, and idk shit like that. and he'd watch enough talk shows and read enough popular magazines that of course he would be able to bullshit smart-sounding advice for them but he would hate it, he would hate it so much, and he would hate pokemon and he would be miserable.
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