VictoriaGrace @butterfiybones - Tumblr Blog

moan-s

ohhbobs

“if someone hurts you, stay the fuck away, no matter how hard it is, stay the fuck away”

— (via citizenjordan)

thatfunnymeme

c3rvida3

I’m going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl’s number in under five minutes and then politely walk up her and say, “I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get your number. I’ll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up line and then write a fake number on my hand.”

Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head.

drivablecar

If anyone ever does this to me I’ll call them out on being a con artist.

c3rvida3

Joke’s on you, buddy. That’ll only have consequences the first, what, couple dozen times? I can take a punch.

But then eventually, I’ll have money for the bike, and whenever I get called out, I’ll just speed off, and, sure, maybe I crash and die in a gutter and the police can’t figure out why I have hundreds of fake phone numbers stuffed in my jacket and it launches a huge investigation that becomes sort of a local legend, but you know whose problem that is? Not fucking mine.

Because I’m a slutty motorcycle ghost, and who’s gonna’ stop me then? The ghost cops? Nice try. Everybody knows cops can’t become ghosts because they just go straight to hell. It’s basic math.

drivablecar

Moral of the story, don’t be a con artist or you will die in a horrible accident and become a lonely ghost.

c3rvida3

First of all, don’t you ever accuse me of having morals, narrative or otherwise, ever again.

And second, where did I say I’d be lonely? I’d be a ghost on a motorcycle. That’s the sexiest thing that there is. You look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn’t bone Ghostrider. Look me in the goddamn eyes.

yonceeknowles

tybalt-tisk

About an hour ago, I was in Walmart looking for my conditioner because today is wash day for my hair. As I’m looking for my product, this older white lady approaches me and she says, “Excuse me, miss. Please don’t be offended by this.” And usually when white people tell me not to be offended, 9 times out of 10, whatever they are about to say is going to be offensive af.

Anyway, she follows it up with, “My husband and I just recently won our custody battle with our foster daughter and she means the world to us. She’s a beautiful African American girl and her hair looks a lot like yours. But I’m afraid because I don’t know what to do with her hair. It’s a lot different from mines and our other children and we are at a total lost. I’ve tried looking up the YouTube videos and my husband went to the braiding shops so they can teach him how to properly braid her hair, but he’s still pretty new and it will be a while before he gets used to it. Do you have any tips you can give me? If you don’t have the time, it’s okay, really! I just needed a little advice because I want her to look beautiful.”

Y’all. swear I almost started crying on aisle 6. So for the last 30 minutes, I spent my time talking to her and what products to use and how to properly detangle and comb her hair with the proper tools and what not to do with natural hair. And I showed her a bunch of easier to follow natural hair tutorials on YouTube and saved them for her. (I also had to create a YouTube account for her so she could save it for later.) but omfg, she was so sweet, and I could tell that she listened to every single thing I had to say and she took little notes on her little notepad.

And what really filled my heart was the fact that her husband actually taking classes from African braiding shops. And she showed me a picture of him wearing a little sweater vest and loafers in a little shop surrounded by beautiful black women showing him how to braid black hair and even the lady he’s braiding on is guiding his hands. And omfg. Bless these old white people and their black daughter who I know have new loving parents because they are willing to step out of their comfort zone just to make her feel and look beautiful.

I really hope our paths cross again one day, Mrs Cicilia. 💖💕

anxietyproblem

protect-and-love-cats

Puma Rescued From A Contact-Type Zoo Can’t Be Released Into The Wild, Lives As A Spoiled House Cat

plankhandles

Cooking show I desperately want: Professional chefs compete to wow and astound totally amateur food critics who don’t know dick about shit. Get eliminated on totally arbitrary grounds such as “I don’t like sour cream.”

chathurlant-deactivated20181203

“I present to you the finest escargot.” “Ew I’m not eating snails. Sorry you’re chopped.”

cwote

“go for a drive at midnight and forget you have school the next day. stop waiting for friday. live now. do it now. take risks. tell secrets. dream big and fight for what you believe in. this life is yours. when are you going to realize that you can do whatever you want?”

— cwote (via mercury)