Growing up in a toxic household

My face flares up when I speak for myself, I feel selfish if I set boundaries, I'm the people pleaser.

[buttery-butterfly]

My mum was upset when I told her that bullying me to face my responsibilities wasn't the right approach

[buttery-butterfly]

Mental illness and emotions are something fictional in my house, you aren't allowed to feel those unless you are my parents.

[buttery-butterfly]

Is it normal to have a fight with your parents about everything all the time or do other families discuss about circumstances without all the yelling and crying?

[buttery-butterfly]

I've managed to stay friends with an old crush of mine and as time passed my feelings eventually died and now we share a lot of funny shit without being into each other, we are actual FRIENDS, he has a GIRLFRIEND and I'm very happy for him.

Yet some people can only see their ego, when they are rejected they just leave. I don't care what you think, when you say "I can't just be friends with you" all I see is "my ego is too bruised to accept you don't want me".

I know how soul-consuming it is not to have feelings reciprocated but I've always valued friendship over everything else.

Now a 10-year long friendship has to end because of some damn feelings on their part and it's breaking my heart.

[buttery-butterfly]

So much time has passed since I felt this feeling

When trust gets broken

Some people let their pride get in the way, they miss the person but still do not go back to them to protect themselves.

I'm still here but I feel completely numb as if there was a wall between me and them. I feel nothing but the emptiness of what was there before. No rage.

Pain.

[kindyu]

Reblog, if you have a strong squish (platonic crush) on someone.

[buttery-butterfly]

This is it

No more overthinking

No more thinking

2020 gonna end with a bang I'm leaving all my filters behind if you hurt me I'll bite you and if I can't physically reach you my words surely will :)

[buttery-butterfly]

2020 ended with a bang but 2021 started with BANGS

That's RIGHT I CUT MY OWN HAIR it looks great tbh

[buttery-butterfly]

Thank god I can mute my mic without people in discord knowing because I ragequit so hard I can't stop crying I'm mad af not because I lost but because my friends laughed at me 😡

[buttery-butterfly]

This is it

No more overthinking

No more thinking

2020 gonna end with a bang I'm leaving all my filters behind if you hurt me I'll bite you and if I can't physically reach you my words surely will :)

[buttery-butterfly]

I'm so angry for the sake of being angry wtf lmao

[buttery-butterfly]

OK so apparently when you become friends with a guy his friends wont hit on you because you are seen as property very very well time to bring chaos because free will exists

[buttery-butterfly]

Yes I stay up until 2am listening to your public playlist you didn't tell me about but you'll never know

Btw your music taste is trash but as long as I can get your vibes I'm more than happy

[buttery-butterfly]

I just read my own posts from a stranger's perspective and do I sound dramatic holy shitkrnslsmsn

[buttery-butterfly]

Why of course I'm obsessed with love stories, I wake up to my parents fighting every day, would be nice to experience something different.

[cryptidsandchaos]

might fuck around and walk into a thick fog and never return idk

[buttery-butterfly]

Ok but someone just confessed their crush on me how do I tell them that our relationship would be toxic af and we'd kill each other after 1 hour together?

[buttery-butterfly]

Ok I KNOW I am clingy but this time I'm justified: I haven't seen my friends in MONTHS now because of covid so I can get attached to new internet friends' friends and love them and consider them my new obsession RIGHTT??