THE WHOLE IDEA OF A SCRATCH MAKES MY FUCKING BLOOD RUN COLD. PEOPLE TALK ABOUT HOPPING TIMELINES LIKE IT'S SOME CUTE COSMIC DO-OVER, BUT WHAT HAPPENS TO THE PEOPLE YOU KNEW? THE MEMORIES? THE THINGS YOU FOUGHT FOR? YOU DON'T JUST GET TO HIT THE UNIVERSE WITH A RESET BUTTON WITHOUT LEAVING A MOUNTAIN OF CORPSES BEHIND. IF THE PRICE OF SURVIVAL IS WATCHING YOUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE GET ERASED SO SOME OTHER ITERATION OF YOU CAN TAKE A CRACK AT IT, THEN THAT'S NOT A SECOND CHANCE. THAT'S JUST A REALLY ELABORATE WAY OF DYING. AND THE FACT THAT PEOPLE CAN SAY THAT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE IS ENOUGH TO KEEP ME AWAKE AT NIGHT.
YOUTUBE / BANDCAMP / SOUNDCLOUD
PARODY OF "TONES OF THE THUNDER" BY STORM ORCHESTRA BY ME BELOW THE CUT
[SCRATCH]
[Intro]
I can't save our session anymore
No one ever hears me when I shout
Catch me when the timeline collapses
I know I can't keep this together
[Verse 1]
Take me where the game cannot reach us
To a world we still remember
Hear me when I'm trying to save you
I can't stop the time we are losing
[Pre-Chorus]
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
[Chorus]
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
[Verse 2]
Catch me when the world is ending
Now I know what must be chosen
I won't run from what is before us
The Scratch is here, and we'll start again there
[Pre-Chorus]
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
[Chorus]
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
I can't stop the coming of the Scratch
[Breakdown]
The coming of the Scratch
[Outro]
(The scratch) The Scratch
(The scratch) The Scratch
(The scratch) The Scratch
(The scratch) The Scratch
(The scratch) The Scratch
(The scratch) The Scratch
(The scratch) The Scratch
(The scratch) The coming of the Scratch
HELLO AND WELCOME BACK TO MY COMPLETELY NECESSARY EDUCATIONAL INITIATIVE TO STOP YOU PEOPLE FROM EMBARRASSING YOURSELVES BY BEING CULTURALLY MALNOURISHED GRINGOS. THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S THE ALTERNIAN CULTURAL EXCHANGE PROGRAM! TRY TO KEEP UP.
AND BEFORE ANYONE MAKES ME EXPLAIN THIS FOR THE THIRD FUCKING TIME, YES, ALTERNIA HAS MUSIC GENRES YOU DON'T HAVE ON EARTH. SHOCKING, I KNOW. APPARENTLY AN ENTIRE PLANET CAN DEVELOP ITS OWN CULTURE WITHOUT ASKING HUMANITY FOR PERMISSION FIRST. SO IF THE GOAL IS TO EDUCATE YOU FUCKHEADS ON NON-AMERICAN MUSIC, THEN FINE. I'LL SING SOME OF THOSE GENRES MYSELF. CONSIDER IT A PUBLIC SERVICE. YOU'RE FUCKING WELCOME.
TODAY’S GENRE IS: FUNK CARIOCA!
SOUNDCLOUD / BANDCAMP / YOUTUBE
LYRICS BY ME UNDER THE CUT
[RAGE RAGE BOOM (FUNK REMIX)]
Hey
Broadway Karkat's in charge, hey!
Watch me lose it, go (hey)
Wait, hold on
Where is tan-tan-tan-tan?
Haha, watch this game burn now, go
Hey, hey, hey, go
Hey, haha hey, shit is heavy, huh
Hey, hey, hey, go
Hey, hey, hey, haha
Whole session
Burning, burning, burning, burning, burning here
Whole damn session
Burning, burning, burning, burning, burning there
Whole session
Burning, burning, burning, burning, burning here
Whole damn session
Burning, burning, burning, burning, burning there
Today I'm stressed as hell
Carrying this whole damn team
It's everything I dreamed
If by dream you mean scream
I'm right about to blow
And this session's set to break
Go, rage, rage, rage, rage, rage, boom
Go, rage, rage, rage, rage, rage, boom
Alright, trolls wanna talk big
But they don't understand a thing
If you wanna step up
I'm the one doing everything
Better make some room
'Cause I'm headed straight for doom
Hey, hey, hey, go
Hey, haha hey, shit is heavy, huh
Hey, hey, hey, go
Hey, hey, hey, haha
Whole session
Burning, burning, burning, burning, burning here
Whole damn session
Burning, burning, burning, burning, burning there
Whole session
Burning, burning, burning, burning, burning here
Whole damn session
Burning, burning, burning, burning, burning there
Today I'm stressed as hell
Carrying this whole damn team
It's everything I dreamed
If by dream you mean scream
I'm right about to blow
And this session's set to break
Go, rage, rage, rage, rage, rage, boom
Go, rage, rage, rage, rage, rage, boom
Alright, trolls wanna talk big
But they don't understand a thing
If you wanna step up
I'm the one doing everything
Better make some room
'Cause I'm headed straight for doom
VRISKA, THIS ONE'S FOR YOU. OR IT WOULD BE, IF I DIDN'T SPEND HALF MY TIME WONDERING WHETHER YOU'D EVEN HEAR IT OVER THE SOUND OF YOUR OWN FUCKING EGO. YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORST PART IS? IT'S NOT THE LYING, OR THE MANIPULATION, OR THE WAY YOU ALWAYS ACT LIKE EVERY DISASTER IN THE UNIVERSE IS JUST ANOTHER STAGE FOR YOU TO STRUT ACROSS. IT'S THAT SOME STUPID PART OF ME KEPT THINKING THAT YOU'D FINALLY STOP TREATING PEOPLE LIKE PIECES ON A GAMEBOARD. AND NOW LOOK AT US. *LOOK AT WHAT'S LEFT*. SO YEAH, THIS SONG IS A HATE LETTER TO EVERY HEADACHE, ARGUMENT, AND FUCKED-UP DECISION YOU EVER DRAGGED THE REST OF US INTO. CONGRATULATIONS. YOU FINALLY GOT A TRACK DEDICATED TO YOU. I HOPE YOU HATE IT AS MUCH AS I HATED WRITING IT.
YOUTUBE / BANDCAMP / SOUNDCLOUD
PARODY OF "LIMITS" BY BAD OMENS, LYRICS BY ME UNDER THE CUT.
[LIMITS (A VRISKA SERKET HATE SONG)]
[Verse 1]
You set me up as the villain
But you never mentioned your side of the problem
Took what you wanted and twisted
And now I'm the monster inside of your novel
[Pre-Chorus]
Filled me with dread, left me for dead, I won't forget
And now you're next!
Well, nobody's listenin'
Yet they'd know the difference
They would see what you've hidden
[Chorus]
If you're standing there and denyin'
You should know I'm not scared of dyin'
I wouldn't take back
One thing I did, one word I said
But you'll wish you'd kept your mouth shut then
[Verse 2]
They draw their conclusions, believe the delusions
But you never once tried to stop 'em
You're sinking beneath every line that you speak
Too many hot irons to go follow
[Pre-Chorus]
Filled me with dread, left me for dead, I won't forget
And now you're next!
Well, nobody's listenin'
Yet they'd know the difference
They would see what you've hidden
[Chorus]
If you're standing there and denyin'
You should know I'm not scared of dyin'
I wouldn't take back
One thing I did, one word I said
But you'll wish you'd kept your mouth shut then
[Bridge]
I'm holdin' on to this
Until the truth is spoken
(Broken, broken, broken, broken)
[Pre-Chorus]
Well, nobody's listenin'
Yet they'd know the difference
You're not fooling the witness
But you're pushing my limits
[Chorus]
If you're standing there and denyin'
You should know I'm not scared of dyin'
I wouldn't take back
One thing I did, one word I said, ooh-woah
If you're standing there and denyin'
You should know I'm not scared of dyin'
I wouldn't take back
One thing I did, one word I said
You'll wish you'd kept your mouth shut then
YOU KNOW... YOU'D THINK AFTER ALL THIS TIME TOGETHER THERE'D BE SOME KIND OF GRAND REVELATION, SOME MOMENT WHERE SOMEONE'S MASK COMES OFF AND WE ALL PRETEND WE LEARNED SOMETHING. BUT NO, IT'S THE SAME OLD BULLSHIT: MAKE A JOKE, DEFLECT, ACT LIKE NOTHING HURTS, AND THEN STAND THERE LOOKING SURPRISED WHEN EVERYBODY ELSE GETS SICK OF PLAYING ALONG. AND THIS ISN'T EVEN NEW! IT'S SO PREDICTABLE I COULD WRITE THE NEXT TEN YEARS OF THIS CONVERSATION MYSELF. MAYBE I'M THE REAL JOKE. MAYBE I SHOULD ACCEPT SOME PEOPLE WILL NEVER FUCKING CHANGE. THEY JUST GET BETTER AT HIDING THE FACT THAT THEY NEVER PLANNED TO CHANGE IN THE FIRST PLACE.
ANOTHER FUCKING AMAZING LYRIC CONTRIBUTION BY KAYDHN!!! ROUND OF APPLAUSE, YEAH, WHAT THE FUCK EVER. YOU STILL ROCK, THOUGH!
YOUTUBE / BANDCAMP / SOUNDCLOUD
PARODY OF "LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO" BY TAYLOR SWIFT BY KAYDHN BELOW THE CUT
[THIS SHIT IS NOTHING NEW]
[verse 1]
I won’t play your stupid games
Glare with your mirrored shades
This part I always play
Like a fool, no, I don’t like you
You don’t stay inside the lines
No, not so silent Knight
You mock me all the time
Isn’t cool, I gotta say: fuck you.
[pre-chorus]
Listen Strider, I’m a fighter, got nothing but time
You prick, not falling for your games another fucking time
I got a list of names, and yours is in black underlined
You’ve died once, so I can kill you twice, oh
[chorus]
Ooh, this shit is nothing new
This shit is nothing new
Why can’t you fucking catch on, dude
This shit is nothing-
Ooh, this shit is nothing new
This shit is nothing new
Why can’t you fucking catch on, dude
This shit is nothing new
[verse 2]
I (I) can’t (can’t) stand your lack of shame (shame)
The way you say my name (name)
You (you) always know what to say
Piss me off, won’t go away (fuck!)
You waste my fucking time, to you I’m just a target, target
Won’t be for much longer wait
till you get your fucking karma
This rock flies on, but one thing‘s for sure
I regret meeting you, but you will more
[pre-chorus]
Listen Strider, I’m a fighter, got nothing but time
You prick, not falling for your games another fucking time
I got a list of names and yours is in black, underlined
You’ve died once, so I can kill you twice, oh
[chorus]
Ooh, this shit is nothing new
This shit is nothing new
Why can’t you fucking catch on, dude
This shit is nothing-
Ooh, this shit is nothing new
This shit is nothing new
Why can’t you fucking catch on, dude
This shit is nothing new
[bridge]
I hate everybody, everybody hates me
I’ll have the last laugh when you die in your dreams
I hate everybody, everybody hates me
I’ll have the last laugh when you die in your dreams
I hate everybody, everybody hates me
I’ll have the last laugh when you die in your dreams
I hate everybody, everybody hates me
I’ll have the last laugh when you die in your dreams
[interlude]
(Ooh, this shit is nothing new)
(This shit is nothing new)
(Why can’t you fucking catch on, dude)
This shit is nothing-)
“I’m sorry, Dave Strider can’t answer the phone right now.”
(Ooh, this shit is nothing new)
(this shit is nothing new)
(Why can’t you fucking catch on, dude)
“Why? Ha! ‘cause he’s dead.”
[chorus]
Ooh, this shit is nothing new
This shit is nothing new
Why can’t you fucking catch on, dude
This shit is nothing-
Ooh, this shit is nothing new
This shit is nothing new
Why can’t you fucking catch on, dude
This shit is nothing new
Ooh, this shit is nothing new
This shit is nothing new
Why can’t you fucking catch on, dude
This shit is nothing-
Ooh, this shit is nothing new
This shit is nothing new
Why can’t you fucking catch on, dude
This shit is nothing new
ALRIGHT, WHICH ONE OF YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING LUNATICS MADE A FANPAGE FOR ME? I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT @bwkk AND I GENUINELY HAD TO SIT THERE FOR A SOLID THREE MINUTES TRYING TO PROCESS THE FACT THAT THIS IS APPARENTLY A THING THAT EXISTS NOW. YOU PEOPLE ARE OUT OF YOUR GOGDAMN COLLECTIVE MINDS. I’M LITERALLY JUST SOME TROLL WHO YELLS INTO A MICROPHONE, LOSES HIS SANITY OVER HARMONIES, AND SPENDS SIX HOURS MOVING A VOLUME ENVELOPE THREE PIXELS TO THE LEFT, AND SOMEHOW THAT WARRANTED A WHOLE FANPAGE? THAT’S… I MEAN… THAT’S ACTUALLY PRETTY FUCKING COOL. DON’T GET ANY IDEAS, THOUGH, I’M NOT GETTING ALL SOFT ABOUT IT. I’M JUST SAYING I APPRECIATE THE HELL OUT OF THE EFFORT, EVEN IF YOU’RE *CLEARLY* ENABLING MY QUESTIONABLE LIFE CHOICES. SO, UH… GO GIVE @bwkk SOME LOVE. LOOKS LIKE I’M THE KIND OF IDIOT WHO HAS A DAMN FANPAGE NOW. WHAT A WEIRD TIMELINE.
((OOC: @bwkk I see you and I appreciate you. I’m glad you enjoy my work and very touched you went out of your way to create the blog. Thank you, it means more than you know 💖 -ModKat))
I GUESS I NEVER PROVIDED PROOF OF MY KNIGHTING, HUH? THAT AND MY DIGITAL FOOTPRINT GOT FUCKING OBLITERATED WITH THE TERMINATION OF MY 15YR+ PERSONAL TUMBLR BLOG. OH WELL.
(Case (Broadway Karkat II), December 2022)
(cantabileGato (The Original Broadway Karkat), May 2026)
OTHER THAN THAT THERE IS A VOD OF CANTABILEGATO KNIGHTING ME ON A PUBLIC TWITCH STREAM, BUT IT MIGHT BE AVAILABLE ONLY THROUGH HIS PATREON. I DON’T KNOW, GO FUCKING SEARCH FOR IT YOURSELF.
THIS IS NOT ME TRYING TO REPLACE CANTABILEGATO, BY THE WAY. THIS IS ME SAYING THAT THE PROJECT IS ALIVE AND WELL, AND I’LL CONTINUE RELEASING SONGS WITH BOTH OF THE PREVIOUS HOLDERS’ BLESSING. AS THE… WAIT, THE LATINO AU?? EMOKAT??! WHO THE FUCK WROTE THAT???!!
NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE, I’M NOT EXPLAINING THIS SHIT AGAIN. GO VISIT HISTORY IF YOU ARE SO GOGDAMN CURIOUS.
2087
germansingergirl
gracieabrams
prguitarman
theartofmadeline
