kinda here but kinda not

a library for the things i've written so far

[by-tea]

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name: tea

pronouns: she/her

purpose of this blog: a library of all my writing, fanfic and non-fanfic alike. this blog will be a combination of some old work i wrote years ago, and new work that i’ve recently felt inspired to write. 

reader inserts are gender neutral unless stated otherwise. 

if you’re looking for a beta reader or would like to commission me send me a message! 

newest work: awry [seungkwan x reader] posted November 4th 

we should have never spoken [soonyoung x reader] posted September 24th 

claws [changkyun x reader] posted August 16th 

here [jeonghan x reader] posted June 30th

[by-tea]

awry

prompt: [cups person b’s cheeks] “you are a menace and you almost died back there if it wasn’t for me.”

summary: the emotional high after plans go awry. 

pairing: boo seungkwan x gn!reader

word count: 226

“IT WASN’T EVEN THAT CLOSE!”

“CLOSE ALMOST BLEW YOUR HEAD OFF DUMBASS!”

You jerkily pointed at the images you had up in the large computer screen of the bad guys you were up against and the detailed floor plans of the house you had infiltrated. You’re goal for this mission was to procure some information from this massive arms dealer who was known to be paranoid beyond belief. Nothing went according to plan.

His bodyguards had different rotations not to mention his security system had been updated. Either someone had fed you false information or your plans had been leaked. Either way, it put you, Seungkwan and the rest of your team in scalding hot water.

“He almost gave it to me. If you hadn’t pulled me out then -”

You grabbed Seungkwan’s cheeks. Forced him to meet your gaze. “You’re a menace and almost died back there if it weren’t for me,” you stuttered. “There was a bomb under the table you were sitting at and he held the trigger.”

Silence filled the room as Seungkwan pulled yours hands away from his face. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and waist and squeezed tight. You pressed your face into the crook of his neck and gripped the back of his expensive suit jacket as you allowed yourself to cry since your too close call.

x

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[by-tea]

we should have never spoken

author note: please be aware that there’s death, blood and other not so fun bodily fluids mentioned.  

pairing: knight!kwon soonyoung x assassin!reader 

word count: 175 

x

Soonyoung watches as the King drops to the ground. Clawing and clutching at his throat as acid and poison rise to choke and disfigure him. His Queen drops to his side, screaming for a doctor, someone, anyone, to help. It’s by the time that someone can help, a flood of courtiers have surrounded them, etiquette and tradition forgotten. Abandoned, as they watched their monarch die. Their children sob and shriek, as the Queen stares blankly. Her ornate gown was covered in her husband’s blood and bile.

The moment the Queen’s gaze falls onto Soonyoung, it turns venomous. He tries to rationalise that the words which fall from Her Majesty’s mouth are rooted in fear and now distrust. How could he not do his job? How could he let this happen? How did it happen?

He catches the faintest glimpse of a sharp smile and the scent of nutmeg lingering in the air. Guilt weighs his stomach down. It suffocates his words and strangles his emotions as one thought replays itself. We never should have spoken.

x 

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[by-tea]

we should have never spoken

author note: please be aware that there’s death, blood and other not so fun bodily fluids mentioned.  

pairing: knight!kwon soonyoung x assassin!reader 

word count: 175 

x

Soonyoung watches as the King drops to the ground. Clawing and clutching at his throat as acid and poison rise to choke and disfigure him. His Queen drops to his side, screaming for a doctor, someone, anyone, to help. It’s by the time that someone can help, a flood of courtiers have surrounded them, etiquette and tradition forgotten. Abandoned, as they watched their monarch die. Their children sob and shriek, as the Queen stares blankly. Her ornate gown was covered in her husband’s blood and bile.

The moment the Queen’s gaze falls onto Soonyoung, it turns venomous. He tries to rationalise that the words which fall from Her Majesty’s mouth are rooted in fear and now distrust. How could he not do his job? How could he let this happen? How did it happen?

He catches the faintest glimpse of a sharp smile and the scent of nutmeg lingering in the air. Guilt weighs his stomach down. It suffocates his words and strangles his emotions as one thought replays itself. We never should have spoken.

x 

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[by-tea]

claws

author note: i saw these and thought of changkyun immediately. 

summary: changkyun gets his nails done. 

pairing: changkyun x gn! reader

word count: 723

Changkyun had to admit that painting his nails black was only a little impulsive. He just didn’t want to see the gunk that found its way under his nails. It became something kind of practical and soothing after a while. And although black had always been his go to colour, his interest in expanding his colour palate was piqued when he saw your little home salon set up.

Changkyun had been endlessly curious about your salon set up the moment he saw it. He had known you worked from home as a beautician of some kind, but the details hadn’t been addressed yet. He guessed they would be addressed now. He left you in the living room mid-way through the movie because he needed to use the bathroom, but stumbled into the home salon instead. With his curiosity piqued, Changkyun scanned over the room taking in the décor and the actual set up of the room. He walked further in, running his hand along the neatly tucked sheets on the foldout bed, while admiring the products you displayed on your shelf.

He was looking through the colour samples when the door creaked and you stood leaning against the door frame. Fond smile and resigned shoulders. It was as if you knew he wouldn’t be able to resist. You asked him jokingly, “are we finishing the movie tonight or do you want your nails done?”

His eye brows creased for a second. “Would you?”

“Do your nails?”

“Yeah.”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Societal norms and expectations?”

“I’m honestly a little more afraid of your company and stylist’s opinions.”

“I’m cute enough to get away with it for a while.”

You snicker. Of course he was. Changkyun probably got away with a lot more than he’d consciously know of. “Are you sure though?” You definitely weren’t kidding about his management’s opinions though.

“Yeah, it’s fine. We aren’t promoting at the moment. They can’t dictate what I do during my break.”

You stand by your desk and pull out some nail tools from the steriliser, gesturing for him to sit on the chair across from you. His palms rest on the small foam roller as you inspect his hands. Soft. Much softer than you realised. His cuticles needed some cleaning, his nails were bare, but had a healthy sheen. You tapped and squeezed the ends and were rewarded with newfound flexibility and a satisfying tap. Changkyun’s nails were doing much better compared to the last time you had checked them.

“Did you use the oil pen I gave you?”

“Yeah. Twice a day like you said.”

You hummed in satisfaction, considering how soft his palms were. He definitely stole your favourite hand cream as well. You could forgive the slight though. His hands were just so soft. You hadn’t realised you were so excited until Changkyun poked your cheek, eyes questioning your sudden mood change.

“What’s that look for? Are you really that excited?”

“Yeah. I’ve got a few ideas I wanna try out.”

“You’re cute. Have fun, go nuts.”

You grinned at his permission and started. It definitely wasn’t the way you had expected to spend your Saturday afternoon, but the end result was definitely worth it. A majority of the time you had spent on the individual nail designs, with the cute smiley faces and sparkling stars being your favourites. Changkyun on the other hand, was a little mesmerised by the cute warped black and white checkerboard on his thumbs. He kept staring until you gently positioned his hands for a picture, fingers curled towards his palms. You had to post this on your account. The simple colour palate and pop punk designs would add more variety to your Instagram posts.

Changkyun continued to admire his nails even as you switched off half the room lights, and the smiley faces lit up. The neon yellow and orange are a stark contrast to the black nail polish. A childlike glee took over as he excitedly yelled about the UV sensitive nail polish. You barely managed a decent photo and video, before Changkyun had pulled his hands from yours to cup your cheeks as he dotted delighted kisses all over your face. He pulled away to quickly peck your lips, grin intact.

“Babe. This is so fucking cool.”

You felt your cheeks burn. Yeah. Definitely worth it.

[by-tea]

drabble game?

i’ve kinda hit a writer’s block? so to combat this i’m going to reblog a prompts list, or maybe a couple? feel free to request something from the lists or send a single word prompt, with any kpop boy i’ve written for so far and i’ll try to write a drabble based on it. 

please keep in mind that i can’t guarantee i’ll write every single request that comes in and that i primarily write sfw and fluff. 

who i’ve written for so far:

bts: park jimin

got7: park jinyoung 

mx: im changkyun (i.m)

svt: choi seungcheol (s.coups), yoon jeonghan, joshua hong, wen junhui (jun), kwon soonyoung (hoshi), jeon wonwoo, lee jihoon (woozi), xu minghao (the8), boo seungkwan

prompt list 1   prompt list 2 

request a drabble

[dreamy-prose]

more little intimate things that make me blush

you and your lover in bed together late at night, but you two are just softly whispering to each other about anything and everything as you lay next to each other. the gentle whispers and peaceful atmosphere put you in such a calm state of mind that eventually pulls you into the best deep sleep.

when you are nervous and avoiding eye contact with your crush or lover and they suddenly stand closer to you and whisper, "look at me."

literally any endearing nickname. baby, sweetheart, angel, darling, beautiful, etc. omg i melt... (bonus points if the nickname is something random that only the couple would understand like an inside joke between them only)

someone leaning against the doorframe with the sweetest smile on their face just watching their lover get ready to go out.

"how did i get so lucky to have you in my life?"

your lover knowing exactly how you like your tea or coffee and them bringing it to you in bed in the morning with a kiss on your forehead.

when your crush or lover gifts you with something that you briefly mentioned wanting to have some time ago, not having any idea how much they were paying attention to what you were saying.

"i just want you to be happy."

two people being each other's safe space and finding a home within each other. a home where they feel completely comfortable being themselves and where they find the kind of peace that unconditional love brings.

"you are my home."

[promptplanetblr]

different ways to say ‘i love you’

## for best friends or for lovers, if you pick the right ones

“you’re so dumb.” [insert fond smile here]

“you could punch me in the face and i would still want you ngl.”

“are you cold? here you go. come here.”

“you have stars in your eyes. i like looking at it.”

“i trust you. it’s okay.”

“you’re driving me crazy here.”

“wherever you want to go, i promise i’ll be with you every step of the way.”

“i’ll be damned if i don’t make you smile at least once today.”

“...please stay.”

“hey…” [hesitates] “be safe, alright?”

“i’ve been worried sick! where the hell were you!?”

“so what? you’re still my [name], idiot. i don’t care about what they say!”

“let me take care of you today. don’t do anything in return, just let me.”

[cups person b’s cheeks] “you are a menace and you almost died back there if it wasn’t for me.”

“how did you even get sick? you look ugly. come here.”

“i will never not think about you.”

“you… you don’t even have to love me back, you know?”

“i’m— i’m happy when you’re here. i’m happy.”

“this—” [points at their chest] “—this belongs to you. always.”

- mod sushi | masterlist

[by-tea]

oh yes! a late night job,,my bad 😅😅

lol that's all good!! but if there's a specific member/s you're interested in and would like to know more about i'm more then happy to share some thoughts and headcanons about them :)

[by-tea]

hi! may i ask if you're going to add more parts to "homebase"?

hi anon! if you're talking about a late night job, yes, there's only one main component left to that which i need to write.

homebase is an indulgent one shot i wrote based in that world! but i have mentioned that i might write something based in that world from a different member's perspective.

[by-tea]

here

author note: 100% inspired by that scene between donna and harvey in that first ep of suits. 

summary: you’ve always been able to predict jeonghan’s needs. 

pairing: yoon jeonghan x gn!reader

word count: 259

Jeonghan had many things to be grateful for in his life. His family, friends, education. But right now, he is currently most grateful for you. His most loyal legal secretary. The both of you had been bound together since he became a partner at his very first firm all those years ago.

So when he approached your cubicle, he really should have known you would have everything under control.

“Hey do you have – “

You slide the files into his first hand.  

“Also I haven’t had time to –“

An iced Americano is placed into his other hand. There’s a little smirk on his face, tugging at the corner of his lips.

“Marry me?”                  

You respond without even looking away from your computer screen, a smirk curling the corner of your lips. “I’ve already taken care of that. We’ve been married for seven years,”  There’s a faint chuckle as Jeonghan walks away and Chan stops right behind your screen. His eyes are curious and you can see all the questions ready to be asked. You raise an eyebrow.

“How’d you know he needed any of that?”

You shrug your shoulders. “He’s Jeonghan. After a while you start noticing the patterns in his habits.”

“No way.”

“Way. Now go. Isn’t Seungcheol handing out case assignments to the associates today?”

You hear Chan curse as he stumbles and scrambles back to his own cubicle, hoping to land an assignment before they disappear. You also won’t let Chan know that your extensive knowledge regarding Jeonghan’ habits may or may not extend outside business hours.

[by-tea]

sharing is caring

summary: you decided not to share your milkshake. 

pairing:  joshua hong x reader 

word count: 199

“No you can’t have some!”

You huddled the cup close to your chest, while slowly circling the coffee table. Joshua’s eyes were intently focused on the cup you held. On any other day, you would have happily shared your chocolate milkshake with him. But not today.

There was no chance that you were going to let Joshua ‘take a sip’, when you had been looking forward to this small happiness all day. While you continued to circle each other, Joshua’s eyes lit up momentarily. He turned away to reach into the paper bag your burgers came in and held out his fries. “A compromise,” he suggested, other hand turned up in surrender.

You considered the offer for a moment before slowly agreeing. Joshua offered his fries as you sat down next to him, looking a little relieved as you ate a few. You tentatively tilted the straw towards him, and watched him slowly sip and savour your milkshake.

It only took a few minutes before the awkwardness cleared a little and you both went back to leaning against each other and talking about your day. This was probably one the better outcomes of you refusing to share your milkshake.

[by-tea]

goodnight

author note:  hey @imagine-svt​ thanks for this prompt. it was a blast. 

summary: a short and sweet conversation with seungkwan as you walk home from work. 

pairing: boo seungkwan x gn!reader 

word count: 607

You sighed in relief the moment you were greeted with a tired ‘hello?’ from Seungkwan. You chuckled at the slight whine that trailed after.

“Hi. I just got off the bus and I’m walking home now.”

“Good. You’re keeping your promise then.” You could hear that distinctive proud satisfaction colouring his tone, knowing that you listened to him. Of course you did. You didn’t have much of a choice really. When Seungkwan had discovered your shifts ended much later then they usually did, he began insisting that you call him every time so he knew you would make it home safe.

It was such a thoughtful and warm Seungkwan gesture, and it wasn’t something you thought he was actually serious about. Seungkwan was protective and thoughtful towards all his friends. It wasn’t until you received a phone call from him six weeks ago, that you realised he was dead serious.

He had tried to mask it under his huffy bravado, but true concern for your safety had bled through too quickly for him to even recover the façade. The conversation you had that night was long, but very straightforward. He understood the boundaries that you both had set. He didn’t want you to feel as though he was smothering you. He just wanted to make sure you were safe. And despite the numerous reassurances that walking home late at night was something you were used to, you had both reached a compromise of some sort.

You would call him on your walk home from your bus stop. There was no way you both could sustain a conversation for your full commute home, Seungkwan’s schedule wouldn’t allow for it, and that was okay. The short walk from the bus stop to your apartment was only five minutes and perfect to have a chat and just let him know you were okay.

“Of course I am. I don’t want you or the other members to blow up my phone.”

Seungkwan answers with a sarcastic little snort. “I’m holding you accountable, is there a problem with that?”

You laugh a little, “Not when it’s you.” There’s a slight pause. The faint ambient noise of the waiting room floats from Seungkwan’s line. It’s comforting to know he’s around some of the most important people in the world to him. It makes you feel warm and satisfied. “So. How was rehearsal??”

It’s enough to gently nudge Seungkwan into an entertaining little anecdote involving Vernon, coffee and Jeonghan’s pants. There’s never a dull moment with any of these boys, you could swear. Your leisurely pace allows you some extra time to hear some amusing commentary from Mingyu and Wonwoo on the incident. It made you wonder if coffee would be banned from their waiting rooms right before performances. Maybe it was something you could bring up with Seungcheol, though you don’t imagine it going too well. The potential amount of pouting and whining is enough to deter you. For now.

You’ve reached your front door when Seungkwan trails off. The softening lilt leaves it open for you to talk about your day. The recount is almost the same as every other late shift, but Seungkwan listens intently, humming and voicing his opinions. When conversation slowly drops off, you hear a producer calling into the waiting room. “Two minutes everyone, two minutes!”

There’s shuffling and chairs scraping linoleum floors. The noise dims slightly when Seungkwan asks, “you’re home?”

“Yeah. I’ll text you later?”

“Yeah. Love you.”

“Mm. Me too.”

“Yah!”

You chuckle. You can see the angry pout and feel the disapproving glare, “love you too. Now go before you get into trouble.”

[by-tea]

i live for cheol soft hours and your latest piece made my heart BURST 🥺 super super good writing aaaaah 🤍

so glad you enjoyed it!! :D

[by-tea]

let me carry that for you

summary: seungcheol just wants to carry your bag for you and you won’t let him. 

pairing: seungcheol x reader 

word count: 539

Seungcheol frowned when he saw how heavy your massive shopping tote was. He knew you ran some errands today, but he didn’t expect you to rock up to lunch with it near exploding. He was mildly concerned. It could ruin your posture as well as your shoulders and back. Especially if you did it frequently. But you seemed to be fine all through lunch and even after when you both went to do some window shopping. The bag’s weight didn’t seem to have any effect on you at all.

From what he had observed, you switched shoulders whenever you deemed it necessary, and because of that you barely ever put your bag down. But according to the way your eyebrows scrunched adorably in annoyance, the most annoying thing about it, was having the outside strap constantly slip off your shoulder. Each time it would happen your reaction would vary from a frustrated sigh to moving the strap up subconsciously. Seungcheol honestly felt a little bit of awe in that sense. How even the smallest, most mundane action, could endear you to him so easily.

So as you stood in line to order your bubble tea, Seungcheol had snuck his hand up your arm. Gently placed it at the base of the strap, and tried to lift it from your shoulder. Your response was immediate. You turned to face him, that fond curve of your smile directed at him. He dropped his hand fully once you pressed and quick kiss on his cheek, the implied thanks, but it’s okay, glaringly obvious. He softly knocked his forehead against yours, an answering, alright I’ll leave it alone.

By the time the sun had set, day turned into chilly evening, you and Seungcheol started your walk home hand in hand. You had always enjoyed holding hands with Seungcheol. Liked the way his fingers would slot between yours. Liked the way his palms were comfortingly warm. Loved how his eyes just shone that much more when you caught his fingers first before your palms would eventually touch. You especially loved the gently swing and sway of connected hands, a small, but constant reminder of his presence.

By the time you’ve reached your building, Seungcheol had tightened his grip on your hands. Refused to let you go, despite the exhaustion that lined his eyes and the many times you attempted to slip your hand out of his. It eventually lead to him pressing you against a wall. A warm solid weight on your front as he curled around you and whined in your ear. “This is the only time I’ll get to see you this week, lemme savour it.”

You chuckled into his neck, slid your arms around him and gently rocked the both of you. It gave you time to savour the faint scent of shampoo and his cologne to fill your senses because he was right. Exams are hell and you both agreed to keep dates and meets up to minimum – didn’t stop the daily texts and near weekly calls – so you couldn’t blame him for wanting to bask in every second of time you shared. So you held each other, getting both your fills until you would see each other next time.

[by-tea]

because i'm a big mystery lover i believe i figured out what the spirit left but i don't want to say but for me it was obvious i really hope that they call pull themselves up and piece it together. because to me it seems like has words small and flat and it's missing from their 'person'... kind of tells me but i am so excited to see where you go with this... [i'm a big huhui and so seeing him worrying over svt :(( ugh love that man] also this is a beautiful two pieces of work so far 💖

hi!! i'm so glad that you enjoyed a late night job and homebase! i'll be honest: i had no plan and went with my gut while writing both those pieces, so please don't give me too much credit!

i also still need to figure some stuff out for a part 3, cause ya know, wrote them without a plan. but you might see it up sometime next year?

and what's up fellow huihui!! i hope my characterisation of him was okay, i find him to be one of the harder members to write, cause i find him quite hard to read. but i also kind of wanted an excuse for them to eat hotpot together, hence this brain child :)

[by-tea]

homebase

author note: a little after scene from a late night job because i just want them to eat hotpot together. This also spiralled out of control a little.

summary: jun welcomes his reckless boys back after checking out the school. 

pairing: platonic jun x wonwoo x minghao

word count: 800~ 

Wonwoo and Minghao had burst through Junhui’s shop door. They both had this wild frantic jitter that hung around them like swarming bees. That feeling had felt like a punch to the gut for Junhui, leaving him both breathless and feeling unusually agitated. That feeling pushed him to gently guide them into the backroom, as he closed the shop with a wave of his hand. One thing at a time.

He carefully surveyed his friends who were hovering in his kitchen. Minghao was pacing back and forth, eyes focussed on the floor as he must have turned thought after thought through his head. Wonwoo, on the other hand, was seated at his dining table. Legs crossed, one hand loosely curled in his lap, while the other tapped quietly on the wooden surface. His gaze was focussed on the window above his sink, as he muttered something under his breath. This was definitely related to the school Junhui had Wonwoo check for him.

“What happened at the school?” Junhui asked hesitantly.

Minghao paused for a second, his eyes flicked over to Wonwoo as he continued to stare out the window. When Junhui got no response, Minghao quickly replied.

“You were right about the spirit. She must’ve been there for ages. She could barely remember anything that’s happened to her so – “

“So I promised we would help her.”

Junhui and Minghao turned as Wonwoo spoke. His voice sounded papery and there was a tinge of remorse that settled into the corners of his eyes. What had they done this time? Junhui had wondered to himself, anxiety twitching through his hands. Busy. He needed to keep them busy. So he headed towards his cupboard for his hotpot set up. He had promised them this after all.

Junhui had let the weight and silence of Wonwoo’s statement fill the room as he tried to formulate a response. Busy busy. He needed his hands to be busy.

But Minghao had decided it would be the perfect time to unload another unexpected surprise. “I also gave her my bell as a guarantee of that promise.”

Junhui’s eyes had bulged slightly, as he stared at Minghao’s reflection in the kitchen window. “What?”

Both men cringed when Junhui spoke. The flat tone and unimpressed gaze was enough for them to look somewhat cowed. Mingyu, Joshua and Junhui. Especially Junhui and Joshua, did not spend months on research and crafting their bell for this to happen. Calm. He needed to be calm. A couple of deep breaths later Junhui had turned to face them both. They both looked guilty enough he supposed.

“Okay. If we’re going to have this conversation, we’re having hotpot too.” Two quick, firm nods. “Good. Wonwoo-yah set up the induction stove. Minghao, get the tofu and vegetables.”

They both immediately began to work on their individual tasks. Eventually, they all sat at the dining table, hotpot bubbling gently as they conversed, waiting for the ingredients to cook. The mellow sweetness and tangy spiciness of the individual broths filled the air. He was proud of the vegetable selection - thank the goddess for his gardens – on the table, and surprised by the meat Minghao had magically pulled from the back of his fridge. This time Junhui had gotten a full retelling of the encounter and the promise that they both had made to the spirit. And goddess above, he would have to pray to keep his sanity. This would most likely be a whole team effort. The spirit itself seemed temperamental, so having Seungcheol, Mingyu and Hansol on wards would be good. They would definitely pull in Jeonghan, Joshua and Chan, to help with understanding the spirit itself. Soonyoung as well maybe, after he returned from his own exploration. The others he could delegate to general research of the area and the school itself. By the time they had settled on a plan of attack, every drop of soup had filled their stomachs and Wonwoo and Minghao seemed lighter. It looked as if they could manage to sleep through the night.

And Junhui being a loving and mildly worried friend, had insisted they stay the night, and shooed them upstairs. He waited for the floorboards to stop squeaking and the tell-tale silence that only followed when everyone under his roof was truly at rest. That type of reassurance fell comfortably over Junhui’s shoulders like a warm blanket or Joshua’s fond gaze while he spoke. Then he got to work. Junhui tucked himself into his alcove and pulled out sheaves of paper and his ink. First, protection charms, then barrier and strength. If Junhui still wasn’t drowsy when he finished those, he would move onto vigilance charms. It was only a little after midnight, and he wanted these charms to last as long as possible. He had a long night ahead of him.