ficar meio bêbada perto de jackson wang e deixar ele jogar charme pra cima de você até que ele comece a beijar seu pescoço com vontade, pra fingir que não tá fazendo nada demais depois. aquele sorrisinho fingido, como se os dois não estivessem se perdendo no meio da cabeça leve e no desejo.
não dá pra lembrar em que momento, finalmente, os lábios se entrelaçaram, as mãos se aproveitaram e a porta de um quarto foi fechada. na quietude da privacidade, ele pede um favor que te põe de joelhos no mesmo instante.
ele tenta não empurrar sua cabeça enquanto acaricia seus fios com as digitais trêmulas de prazer, mas você chupa tão bem que ele não aguenta. os minutos passam num piscar de olhos até ele chegar ao ápice, tão logo mostra que não se esqueceu de se acabar no meio das suas pernas e devolver sua dedicação.
Summary: Jackson catches you back at your shared apartment. Can he make everything right between you two again?
Word Count: 2k
Warnings: 18+, MDNI. Oral (F receiving), unprotected p in v., after care, fluff
Author’s Note: We have come to the end of this short story! Thank you to those of you who stuck it out until the very end, I hope this part was worth the pain of last week. DOPAMINE MASTERLIST
You hadn’t expected him to get home so quickly after you. The reception was probably just now coming to an end. His cousins would definitely notice his absence. You blinked at him before setting your clothes down and nodded your head. Jackson took a cautious step towards you, not to close, just close enough. He looked defeated, tired, maybe a little scared. If he was being honest, he felt like a crazy person.
“Where are you going?” You shrugged.
“Hadn’t really thought about it, I think maybe Rosie’s.” Rosé was an industry friend, someone you’d met through Jackson but had become a good friend.
“Don’t go.” Jackson didn’t have much fight left in him. He’d pictured this weekend going so differently in his head, in so many ways. “What you heard, what you think, it’s not true.”
“Okay…” you nodded, your arms folding, “What was it
then?”
Jackson sighed, running a hand through his hair. It was already a mess from the flight and now it was sticking up all over the place. Something you’d usually laugh at, you had to bite your cheek to keep from smiling. You were mad at him, you couldn’t afford to be caught slipping now.
“It was dudes being dudes. It was stupid.” He sighed. “Jae is always saying some off the wall shit and I usually just let him talk. I just didn’t have it in me the other day to listen to him ramble for forty five minutes about his latest hookup. I wanted to get out of there and come home to you.” His eyes met yours. “I didn’t mean a word of what I said, I promise you that.”
As far as excuses went, it was a good one. Maybe you had jumped to conclusions, maybe you had done it twice this weekend. Maybe the only person standing in the way of your relationship was you. You nodded slowly, your arms coming to your sides in defeat, or surrender, you weren’t really sure which one.
“I guess I just got scared. Between what I overheard and the way you are with the girls on tour, I thought maybe I was losing you. If I didn’t try and act like the dominant one in the bedroom you’d get bored and leave me for some fan girl who tries to cop a feel when you bring her on stage.”
Jackson’s eyes fell at the mention of his fan service at shows. He knew there would come a point this would bite him in the ass. You had never mentioned it before, seemed cool with it when you did go to his shows, so he had no idea how you’d really felt.
“You know they’re not supposed to touch me.” He sighed, “And after that one incident we’ve taken extra precautions. But that’s beside the point. I don’t want them. I want you. Exactly the way you are.”
“So if I never tease you in front of your parents again, that would be enough for you?” You raised a brow, your eyes moving to meet his.
“Baby I’d fucking welcome it with open arms.” You let out a snort at his response.
“I’m sorry. For being all over the place. I just, I wanted to show you I could be like those girls but I didn’t want our relationship to be a lie, didn’t want to trick you into being with me because all of a sudden I’m getting handsy in the backseat of a car.”
“You want to know how serious I am about you?” You nodded.
Jackson disappeared, you watching as he left. Well, that wasn’t what you’d be expecting. So serious, he’d left the room? What was he getting at here? You were about to follow him when he returned, a small box in his hand. You looked at it, your heart nearly skipping a beat. That wasn’t? Right? He lifted the lid as you gasped. It was.
“This is not at all how I had it planned. We were supposed to go out to dinner tonight.” He smirked, pulling out his phone to show you the reservation. “Over dessert I’d tell you how much I love you, how you’ve changed my life for the better, how I can’t picture a future that you’re not a part of. I had something in there about how we’re not perfect but we’re perfect for each other.” He moved slowly towards you. “And then I was going to get down on one knee and ask if you’d be my wife.” He shrugged, his hand moving to clasp yours. “But after the little stunt you pulled this weekend, I feel like I need to add in something about how you’re a real pain in my ass sometimes and I promise you will pay for it.”
You snorted and Jackson grinned as he took the ring out of the box.
“So what do you say? You want to marry me, or what?”
“Yes.”
“Yeah?”
“Ask me again and I'm saying no out of spite.”
Jackson slid the ring onto your finger before pulling you in for a kiss. The first real one in days. He’d missed being able to take his time with you. His tongue slid out, tracing your bottom lip and you sighed, your lips parting slightly, your tongues meeting in a battle of dominance.
“So about that payback?” There was a glint of mischief in your eye.
“You did enjoy teasing me this weekend, didn’t you?” You’d be lying if you said no. So you shrugged.
“Maybe that side of me will still come out from time to time, who knows.” You teased. Jackson rolled his eyes, the smile still on his face.
“I believe we have some unfinished business.” You raised a brow at him. “You know, the pool.”
“Ah, I don’t know. Moments passed, I think.” You teased.
Jackson shook his head, his arms lowering to wrap around your waist and he lifted you up over his shoulder with ease. You let out a shriek as he carried you to your shared bedroom. He tossed you on the bed gently, before crawling on top of you. His eyes met yours before his lips captured yours in a gentle kiss. Your arms moved to snake around his neck, pulling him closer as you deepened the kiss.
Jackson broke the kiss, lowering his head to leave a trail of feather light kisses down your jaw, towards your neck. His hand moved to your shirt, lifting it slowly. You arched your back, and unwound your arms from around his neck so he could slide it the rest of the way off. His lips continued their path down your body. His hand moved to your bra, undoing it in one swift movement and you shrugged out of it, throwing it to the ground.
His mouth moved over your nipple, tongue darting out to swirl around gently, before moving to your other breast, giving it the same treatment. Your back arched, pushing your breast further into his mouth and he smirked as he moved his lips down your stomach, stopping at your sweatpants. He sat up, just long enough to tug your pants off, you watched him intently as his thumbs hooked into your panties, pulling them down slowly. You lifted slightly so he could pull them the rest of the way off. His eyes roamed your body, licking his lips as he took in the sight of you.
“You’re so gorgeous.”
He lowered his head, his mouth returning to its previous spot as he kissed down to your core, smirking at how wet you were. He teased you, a finger through your folds quickly, your slick coating them. He brought his fingers up to his mouth, licking you off of him before he lowered his head. Your back arched in anticipation as his tongue moved through your folds, licking a long stripe to your clit. His tongue circled it slowly and you let out a moan, your fingers tangling in his hair. He inserted a finger, curling it with the movements of his tongue setting a delicious rhythm.
“Fuck, Jackson.” You moaned, your hips moving to meet his movements. “That feels so good.”
Jackson’s movements quickened, his fingers curling just right to bring you to the edge. You were so close, but you were trying to hold on, trying to enjoy the feeling, not ready to let go yet. Jackson’s eyes snapped open, locking on yours. He moved his head to look at you, his lips glistening with your slick and you groaned at the loss of contact.
“Don’t hold back, cum for me, baby.” You nodded and he moved his head back between your thighs.
His tongue moves faster, how, you’re not sure. His fingers move in and out of you quickly, and you feel yourself come undone. Your eyes stay on his as your orgasm crashes over you, your thighs tighten against him and your head falls back on the bed. Your hands tangle tighter in his hair, holding him in place as you ride out your orgasm.
Your fight to get you breathing under control as Jackson removes his head from between your legs. He removed his shirt before standing up to take off his jeans and boxers in one movement. His cock rock hard as he slid back onto the bed.
“Get on your hands and knees.” You obey, rolling over, onto your knees.
Jackson wrapped his arm around your waste, pulling you to the edge of the bed. His cock toys at your entrance before he entered you slowly, fully. You stayed like that for a minute, getting used to the feel of him inside you, you still sensitive from your previous orgasm before he starts to move. From this angle, his tip hits you perfectly with each thrust and he knows that.
He moves slowly, exiting you fully before slamming back into you and your head falls to your hands. Jackson’s hand moves to your hair, grabbing a fistful of it and giving it a gentle pull. The room fills with the sounds of your moans and your eyes slip closed as Jackson’s free hand wraps around you. HIs thumb drawing circles around your clit as he moves in and out of you quickly, roughly.
You come together, Jackson holding you close as you ride out your orgasm. He pulls out of you slowly and you fall back down on the bed, rolling onto your back. Jackson’s eyes find yours, a silent check to make sure you’re okay. You nod and he leans down, placing a gentle kiss to your lips.
“Let’s get you cleaned up.” He moves from the bed, a hand reaching out for you.
You let him help you off the bed, let him lead you into the bathroom. He turns the shower on, checking for the water temperature to be perfect. You set your ring down on the bathroom counter and follow him into the shower. Jackson looks at you, really looks at you as he backs you under the shower head.
“We’re okay?” You nod.
“Better than okay.” You peck his lips before grabbing the shampoo. “I’m sorry for running away and not talking to you.”
“I’m sorry you overheard that conversation. I’m not sorry about how you acted this weekend.” You laughed, the first real one you’d had in a couple of days.
“Play your cards right and it might happen again one day.”
“Yeah?” Jackson laughed and you nodded your head again.
“Maybe.”
You took turns cleaning each other, you took extra care on washing his hair, enjoying the feel of how soft it was even when wet before moving to clean his body. Once you were both clean and rinsed off, Jackson shut the water off before helping you out of the shower. He wrapped your towel around you, placed a kiss to the top of your head and grabbed your ring, sliding it back on your finger. He made a silent vow that he’d always put your ring back on you whenever you needed to take it off. A promise that he still loved you, that he would never stop loving you. You were his forever and he’d make sure to show you that every day for the rest of your lives.
Summary: Things take an unexpected turn at the wedding.
Word Count: 2.3k
Warnings: Lots of angst, cliffhanger ending
Author’s Note: This may seem like a harsh change from part 2, but let’s remember who put these ideas into reader’s head in part 1. Trust the process with this one. DOPAMINE MASTERLIST
It was wedding day and you were giddy. You didn’t know Jackson’s cousin, not really. You’d met him a few times in passing at events, and formally for the first time the night before. There was just something about weddings that you loved. Your favorite part? The way the couples looked at each other like nobody else existed. You could only dream of being loved like that. You thought you’d found that in Jackson, and despite all your attempts to show him how versatile you could be you were still doubting it.
You were the last to enter the living room, having taken a bit of extra time getting ready. You were giving up the act for now - for the sake of the wedding. Maybe at the expense of your relationship. You felt nervous, you weren’t really sure why? Perhaps it was because you’d been hiding behind a fake shield all weekend, and now you had to be you. Just you. It wasn’t like you hadn’t spent hours alone with Jackson’s mom the night before, shopping, grabbing a quick lunch before the rehearsal dinner. She had claimed the food at those events were never good and you both deserved a good meal.
“Sorry for holding everyone up.” You gave a sheepish smile, your hand going to your hair out of nervous habit.
“No, no, we’ve got plenty of time.” Jackson’s mom reassured you as Jackson moved to stand. He held his hand out for you and you took it with ease.
“You look amazing.” He was struggling to keep his eyes off you.
“So do you.” You grinned, your heart clinching in your chest as he led you out the door.
The ride to the venue was met with comfortable silence, your hands staying firmly in your lap. You wanted nothing more than to tease him a bit, maybe smirk at him, something. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do it, not today. Not after spending so much time with his mom. You’d had a hard relationship with your own mother, but you could see yourself having a tight bond with Jackson’s mom. Something you hadn’t realized you’d been wanting until yesterday.
It was all for nothing if Jackson wasn’t happy with you exactly as you were. So you’d pulled away. At the dinner last night you’d stuck to Jackson’s side, meeting very few people in his family. Not wanting to fall in love with the entire Wang family if this was all going to end soon. Once you’d made it back to the AirBnB that night, you’d excused yourself early to go straight to bed.
Jackson had noticed, of course he had. He thought maybe after the pool incident you’d sneak off to his room to finish what you had started earlier. He gave it an hour before he tried your door, frowning when it was locked. He silently made his way back to his room, FaceTiming you in hopes you were still awake.
When you didn’t answer, he’d put his phone down, trying not to think about what could’ve possibly happened that night to have you pull away from him, and went to sleep. Seeing you out in the living room before you’d left for the wedding had been the first time he’d seen you all day.
He was almost afraid you weren’t going to leave that room and he’d have to kick the door in just to see you. Just one more night and then you could go home, back to your real life, he could hold you while you slept, kiss you until you needed air, tell you how much he loved you.
The only good thing about the break he’d gotten from you today was all the free time he’d had to plan out the proposal. He’d talked to his parents in hushed voices at breakfast that morning, his mom thrilled, his dad pleased. You fit right on in with his family, which confused him even more on why you’d pulled away.
“You ok?” Your voice broke Jackson’s thoughts and he nodded, smiling down at you before sliding out of the car.
“Never better.” He promised as he held an arm out for you. You took it with a snort.
“So Cheesy.” He beamed, leaned down and kissed your cheek.
“Only for you.” He whispered in your ear.
You shook your head, wondering what had gotten him to today. The weekend so far had been spent with him trying to keep his distance, now it was your turn. As you entered the church, you unhooked your arm with his and he frowned, his hand moving to the small of your back as he led you to your seats. You sat down between Jackson and his mom, thankful she was there to keep Jackson’s hands to himself.
This was going to be a long day, you just hadn’t realized how long it was going to be when you’d made this descision. Jackson kept looking at you out of the corner of his eye, to the outside world you looked fine. Not a care in the world - but he knew you better. You were fighting some kind of battle and he was determined to figure out what it was. You caught his stare a couple times, raising a brow at him. He gave a small smirk, turning his attention back to the wedding taking place in front of him.
The wedding was gorgeous, vibrant colors filling the church, the colors picked accented the island you were on perfectly. The couple somehow managed to look more in love today than the day before. It was exactly everything you’d expected. You just hadn’t expected the lump in your throat when they said I Do, or the stray tear that had fallen. You tried to wipe it away without anyone noticing. Jackson saw it though, he’d been watching you the entire ceremony.
He tried to talk to you in the car on the way to the reception but you’d brushed it off. You just loved love so much, it was hard not to get emotional. Jackson tried to believe you, tried to buy that you were fine but something had changed after the pool yesterday and he needed to know what. He helped you out of the car, leading you to the space for the reception.
It was a beautiful outdoor space, the ocean breeze cooling off whatever heat had been in the air that day. You found your table nestled between trees, offering up shade and shuttered. The winter air was already a tad cooler than normal and the shade mixed in was doing you no favors. Jackson wasted no time, shrugging off his jacket and laying it on your shoulders carefully.
You couldn’t help but smile at him as you snuggled in closer, wrapping the jacket tighter around you. It smelled of his cologne and you allowed yourself a minute to feel comforted by it. When Jackson was on tour you’d live in his hoodies, spraying bits of his cologne on his pillow at night so it was like he was still there with you. For some reason, this small gesture was reminding you of that - even if he was right next to you.
Dinner seemed to drag on, agonizingly slow and all Jackson wanted to do was whisk you out onto that dance floor so he’d have an excuse to hold you. Maybe then he could find out what was going on in that head of yours. If you wouldn’t tell him on the dance floor he’d found at least 10 different places to hide out at, excluding the beach.
“Dance with me?” He stood, an arm out for you.
You hesitated for a few seconds before accepting his hand. He didn’t push it, not right away. Not when your favorite song was on and you were allowing him to hold you. His chin rested on top of your head, eyes closed as you both basked in the warmth of each other. Maybe this was enough of him, maybe you’d go home and tell him what you’d overheard and you’d both laugh about it.
“Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been really quiet.” You snuggled in closer to him, not wanting to ruin the moment.
“I’m fine.” You lied, your face hidden from view.
Jackson wasn’t buying it. He took a quick sweep of the room before letting go of you, his hand finding yours and quietly ushered you to the corner he’d spotted earlier. Your back pressed against the wall of the building, a tent curtain shielding you both. Jackson had one hand resting on the wall, the other moved to cup your cheek. Neither of you said anything as his eyes searched your face.
“Did something happen yesterday with my mom? Or at dinner? Did someone say something to you?”
“What?” Your eyes crinkled in confusion and you shook your head. “No, Jackson. Your family is lovely. Especially your mom. I told you I’m fine.”
“You don’t seem fine.”
“Why? Because I’m not trying to get you off today?” You snapped. Jackson’s eyes widened, his mouth parted. For once he wasn’t sure what to say.
“No?” He finally answered after what felt like an embarrassingly long time. “That’s not what I was getting at.” His hand fell from your face. “But now that you mention it, you have been acting different all weekend.”
“I’ve been trying to give you what you want.” You folded your arms against yourself, which was a bit of a struggle considering how close Jackson was.
“What are you talking about?”
“I heard you talking to Jae the other day, and I can't be who you want. I thought I could be that girl who doesn’t give a fuck and shows way too much inappropriate affection, leaves you on the edge wanting more. But I’m just not that girl. I tried, I really did. After hanging out with your mom yesterday I realized how much I love your family, how much I want this to be my family. I just don’t want it like this.” You could feel the tears pooling in your eyes and you fought to keep them down. “I thought you were happy with me, but when I heard you talking the other day I realized you weren’t and I thought if I tried this, you’d want to stay with me. But if you don’t love me as I am..I can’t keep doing this.”
A single tear fell down your cheek and you moved to brush it away. Jackson stared at you horrified, he hadn’t realized you’d heard that conversation with Jae. That had just been guy talk, he didn’t mean anything by what he said. Everything was starting to add up though, the clothes, the video, the shower. How could you think he’d want you any other way than exactly who you were? You were perfect exactly as you were. He reached to touch your face again and you shook your head, shoving past him to head to the bathroom.
You just needed a minute to collect yourself, you weren’t going to make a scene at a wedding, especially one as lovely as this. You half expected Jackson to be gone when you came back out, but he was still standing there with an unreadable expression on his face. You blinked, your eyes moving from him to the crowd of guests. Before you could make your next move he was standing in front of you.
“I need to go.” He wanted to reach out and touch you, tell you how wrong you were. But he knew better.
“Can we talk? Please.” He hated how desperate he sounded, but he was. The thought of losing you over some misunderstanding? He'd never forgive himself for hurting you.
“Not here. And you’re not leaving early.” You’d made up your mind, you were leaving. “Tell your family I wasn’t feeling well and I’m sorry for leaving early.”
You didn’t give him a chance to respond as you headed for the exit. A car was waiting outside and you thanked your lucky stars that you didn’t have to call a cab. You didn’t want to be at the Airbnb anymore, and you knew leaving would ruin whatever chances you still had but you’d meant what you said. If you weren’t enough as you were before the trip, then you didn’t want this anymore. It didn’t matter how much you loved him, how much your heart ached as you zipped up your suitcase. You both deserved exactly what you wanted and you were done pretending. You told yourself this was the right decision as you boarded the plane leaving was the only option.
It took Jackson exactly five minutes before he realized he couldn’t sit here and have you think that he didn’t love you for exactly who you were. His parents had caught onto the tension and understood him leaving. What he wasn’t expecting was for you to be gone when he got to the house. He knew exactly where you were going though and if that meant chasing you by plane, he’d do it.
It was a long lonely flight back to Seoul, Jackson spent the entirety of the flight forming an apology. One he hoped to give you so long as you had actually come back home. He hadn’t thought of the possibility that you would’ve gone somewhere else until he was standing outside the door of the apartment.
He opened the door quietly, a sigh of relief escaping his lips when he saw you standing in the living room. You jumped when the door opened, turning to face him. A stack of clothes in your hand.
“Hi.” It was all you could manage to get out.
“Hi.” His voice heavy with exhaustion, his eyes falling from your face to the items in your hand and the look on his face shattered you. “Can we talk?”
Summary: It’s the day before the wedding and Jackson wakes to a nice surprise. Will the two of you take it too far and get caught?
Word Count: 2k
Warnings: 18+ MDNI. Oral, M receiving, masturbation (f), unprotected p in v, public-ish sex, teasing, language
Author’s Note: here is part 2 and poor Jackson is really going through it. I hope you enjoy! DOPAMINE MASTERLIST
There was a small part of you that woke up regretting what you’d done the night before, especially when you checked your phone to see no reply to Jackson. That was until you heard him. The whispered holy shit, followed by soft footsteps and the shower starting. You smirked to yourself, that was way better than any reply.
You checked the time, it was early, 5 AM, you woke up at this time by habit, Jackson always went for an early run at this time. You pulled yourself from bed, cracked open your door, your eyes scanning for any signs of life from his parents. Their door was still shut, lights off throughout the house and you smirked.
You snuck into the hallway quickly and quietly, shutting your door behind you, and tip-toed the few feet to Jackson’s room. You let out a sigh of relief when you tried the door and it was unlocked. Shutting it behind you quietly, you made your way to his bathroom. He had his back to you, the water running over his face and you saw the slight movement of his hand. You had him right where you wanted him. Quickly stripping out your pajamas, you slid into the shower.
“Need some help with that?” Jackson turned to you, wide eyed, his hand still wrapped around his cock.
“What are you doing here?” He was breathless, seconds away from cumming.
You didn’t reply as you dropped to your knees and moved his hand out of the way. You took him in your mouth slowly, your eyes staying locked on his as you began to move. He let out a low groan, hand going to your hair.
Jackson was many things, but even he wasn’t strong enough to tell you no when you were on your knees for him. You hollowed your cheeks, taking him further down your throat, Jackson nearly lost balance at the sensation, his fingers gripping your hair tighter, holding you for balance.
“Fuck, baby.” His eyes locked on yours.
Seeing you like that was enough to make him cum, his cock twitched inside you and you moaned, causing him to twitch again. He pushed your head further on his cock, the tip hitting the back of your throat and he held in you place a second longer until you choked. He released his hold on you, his cock freeing from your lips with a loud pop.
You wasted no time taking him in your mouth again. Your hands resting on his hips to steady yourself as he guided your head against him. You locked your knees together, feeling yourself get more and more wet with each movement. Jackson noticed, he always noticed.
“Touch yourself.” His voice was low, his eyes dark with lust.
You nodded, your hand slipping off him and moving between your legs. You readjusted your position, widening your legs so Jackson could see as your finger moved to circle your clit. You let out a soft moan, Jackson’s eyes never leaving your hands. Your tongue circled his tip, licking up his precum with a moan.
This stimulation of your finger on your clit and his cock down your throat was almost too much, but this wasn’t about you. This was about him and showing him how bad you could be. You moved your other hand from his hips and traced it down your body, stopping on your breast and squeezing your nipple. Jackson’s breath caught in his throat as he watched you pleasure yourself.
You moved your other hand further down, your finger leaving your clit as you circled your entrance, before you started moving it in and out quickly, adding a second finger. You rocked back on your heels, your mouth sliding off his cock. Jackson was quick with his movements, pushing your head back towards him.
Your mouth widened as you took him tip to base, your head bobbing back and forth quickly, the shower water mixing with your drool as his tip repeatedly hit the back of your throat. You glanced up, his eyes half closed, his lips parted, his breath shallow. He was trying not to cum. Your fingers pumped inside you in rhythm with your mouth, Jackson using both hands to hold your head steady as he thrust his hips against yours.
There was nothing gentle in his movements, the day of torment, the video of you getting off the night before, he wanted you to know exactly what you were doing to him. Driving him fucking mad.
“You’re taking me so well, baby.” He moaned, eyes rolling back as he felt himself getting closer. “You like it when I fuck your mouth, don’t you?” You nodded your head.
Your hand moved faster and your mouth got sloppier on his cock as your orgasm finally hit. Jackson followed behind you with one finally thrust into your mouth, releasing inside you. You licked up every last drop, your hands falling to your sides as you looked up at him with a smirk.
“You’re going to be the death of me.” Jackson shook his head, leaning against the shower wall.
“Thank you.” You grinned as you stood up. “I’ll see you at breakfast baby.” You blew him a kiss before stepping out of the shower.
Jackson watched as you slid back into your clothes and blinked as you disappeared from view. Suddenly the fun weekend he had planned with his family was turning into his biggest challenge. He wasn’t going to complain though, now that you’d found a way to bypass the parents. He was definitely going to be getting you back for all of this later.
∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘
You’d been pretty smug the rest of the morning, having Jackson see this new side of you was definitely exciting you. You’d thought at first you were just doing this for him, but you’d gotten a thrill from sending him that video last night. The teasing him was just an added bonus.
The rehearsal dinner was still a few hours away, and Jackson’s parents had left to go have lunch with a few family members. They would be back just in time to change to go to dinner, leaving the two of you alone.
“Let’s go for a swim, baby.” Jackson nodded and you both went to your rooms to change.
Jackson was already at the pool when you came out, lounging in a chair and reading something on his phone. He glanced up and back down before doing a double take. Your bikini left little to the imagination he couldn’t keep his eyes off you.
“Like what you see?” You smirked as you made your way into the water.
Jackson didn’t respond as he sat his phone down. Yeah, he liked what he saw, a lot. He always liked what he saw when it came to you, though. You were the most gorgeous sight he’d ever laid eyes on and he wasn’t sure how he’d gotten so lucky to call you his. Though he had a feeling this weekend was his punishment. All he wanted to do was touch you, hold you, make you feel as good as you made him feel in the shower. But he couldn’t.
He dove into the water, staying under a beat longer than necessary as he swam up to you, popping up right in front of you. He smiled at you before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you in for a kiss. You returned the kiss, tongues meeting each other in a frenzy. Jackson’s hands moved to your ass, and you wrapped your legs around him, arms circling his neck tightly. He swam slowly to the edge of the pool, backing you into the wall as he broke the kiss, leaving a trail down your neck.
“I love what I see.” He mumbled against your skin, biting down gently. Not hard enough to leave a mark. Just enough to remind you how much you drove him crazy.
His hand moved from your ass, tracing lazy circles on your back as his lips moved to your breast. In one swift movement, your bikini top was off and his tongue was circling your nipple. You sucked in a breath, you legs clenching around him.
“Jackson…”
You wanted to push him away, wanted to tell him his parents could come home at any moment. But you didn’t. That’s not who you were this weekend. Instead, your body reacted before your brain could and you moved your hips slightly, rubbing against him. You could feel him already hard and you smirked.
“What do you need, baby?” He whispered against your ear and you moaned at the loss of contact on your breast.
“You.”
Jackson lowered his hand, untying your bottoms and laying them on the floor by your head before kicking out of his swim trunks. He lined himself up against your entrance, your hand helping to guide him in. He entered you slowly, inch by inch until he was fully inside you. You shifted slightly in his arms, arching against the pool wall as you began to move slowly.
You both let out a moan at the contact, Jackson moving one hand from your back to rest on the wall, keeping you both steady as he moved in and out of you. Your nails dug into his skin, leaving a red mark from his shoulder to the middle of his back as you moved with him.
“Faster.” You whispered and he practically growled as he picked up the pace.
Your hand dropped between you, your finger circling your clit as you moved against him, your head falling to rest in the crook of his neck. Small moans of ecstasy falling from your lips as you moved your finger faster.
“Fuck me harder, Jackson.”
Jackson didn’t need to be told twice, he moved faster, rougher, and you matched his movements, biting down on his shoulder, certain to leave a mark. Your tongue circled the mark and Jackson moaned. Your walls clenched against his cock as his tip hit just right.
“God baby. You feel so good. So tight for me.” Jackson mumbled, angling himself just right to hit that spot again and again.
“Jackson, I’m gonna -“ but before you could finish your sentence a car door slammed.
“Jackson, we’re back!” It was his moms voice.
“Fuck.” You moaned as Jackson pulled out of you quickly.
You both fumbled to put your swim suits back on before swimming out of the pool. Jackson wrapped a towel around you and you gave him a gentle pat on the chest before escaping back to your room. This was not something his parents needed to catch you in. Jackson had just finished wrapping a towel around his waste to hide his erection when his parents entered the pool room.
“Where’s y/n? I need an outfit for tonight, and wanted to see if she wanted to go shopping.
“She went to go shower a little bit ago, I can go check on her and see?”
“Alright.”
Jackson let out a sigh as he made his way to your room, knocking once before entering the room. You spun around, pulling the towel back up over your body, but relaxing a bit when you realized it was Jackson.
“What are you doing in here?” You hissed. “Your parents are here.” Jackson smirked, enjoyed the slight change between your dynamic.
“Mom wants to go shopping with you.” He leaned against the wall, arms folding casually.
“Oh. Okay, yeah. I just need to change.” You gave him a pointed look.
“I’ll watch.” He pretended to look down at nails before back up at you, smirk still on his lips.
“No you won’t. And no happy ending for that guy either.” You walked past him, giving his still hard cock a small pat.
Jackson groaned and left the room. After telling his mom you’d go with her he excused himself to change into workout clothes, deciding a run was exactly what he needed to get over this little problem you’d created. He wasn’t sure how he was going to survive one more day of this before getting you back home.
Summary: Jackson takes you on a family trip to his cousin’s wedding to meet his parents. After you overhear a dudes being dudes conversation, you decide to put the good girl act to bed.
Word Count: 2.2k
Warnings: 18+ MDNI, while there is no actual smut in this chapter this is a lot of teasing, hand stuff, and language. Also a lot of frustrated Jackson.
Author’s Note: I hope you guys stick around for all four parts of this. I can promise you Jackson is going to get more and more frustrated as we go along. I can’t promise a happy ending (no pun intended) so you’ll just have to stick around and see what these crazy kids get into.
Jackson was smitten, moreso, he was in love and he had been for a while. That was why this trip with his family was so important to him. He couldn’t wait for his parents to finally meet the woman he kept talking about. The woman he wanted to marry. He had it all planned out, a few days with his parents to Hainan for his cousin's wedding, then back home to Seoul where the proposal would take place. It was perfect, he just hoped his family loved you as much as he did.
He was currently in the studio with Jaebeom working on some songs for an upcoming surprise album. They hadn’t told anyone outside of the GOT7 family that this was happening, and the fact that either of them even had time despite their busy solo tour schedules was impressive. You, being the proud girlfriend that you were, had decided to surprise Jackson and Jaeybeom with lunch. As you entered the studio you could hear the two of them taking a break, and typically you weren’t the one to eavesdrop on Jackson’s conversation but what he was saying stopped you in your tracks.
“Yeah, bad girls are where it’s at.” Jackson was lying through his teeth, of course. But he wasn’t in the mood to get into it with Jae, not today. So he took an easy route - agreeing with everything his friend had to say.
“Right? There’s just something hot about that confidence they exude. Not asking for permission, just taking what they want.” Jaebeom leaned back in his chair. “Good girls have their things too. But I really like when she takes charge in the bedroom.”
“Or the shower.” Jackson teased, his eyebrows raising slightly.
You gulped, setting the food down carefully and exited the studio as quietly as you could. You wouldn’t describe yourself as a bad girl especially in the bedroom. Not that you were totally a vanilla girl - you had always been certain Jackson was more than satisfied in your relationship, but now? Now you weren’t so sure. Was he really that unhappy with your relationship? Once you were safely a few blocks away from the studio you pulled out your phone, sending a quick text letting him know you’d had lunch delivered for them. Still too embarrassed to let him know you’d heard what he’d said.
When he asked you to come by for their break you declined, saying you still needed to pack for the trip you’d be heading out on in the morning and were too nervous about meeting his family to be of good company. The truth was, you were plotting. If Jackson wanted a bad girl, you’d show him just how bad you could be. Being in a relationship was give and take, after all so if you needed to spice it up to keep him interested, you would do just that.
You spent the rest of the afternoon at various shops around Seoul, gathering all the perfect clothing items you’d need for this trip - new bikini, new dress for the wedding, new outfits for “sleeping”, all things Jackson wouldn’t expect from you. Maybe doing this on a weekend that you were meeting his parents wasn’t the best idea, but he had it coming. He liked bad girls? Yeah, you’d show him exactly that.
The flight was as to be expected, quick, normal. You didn’t give any indication to what you’d overheard the day before, Jackson had no idea what was in store for him. Once you were in the car to the AirBnb though, you decided enough was enough. His dad was driving you guys to your destination, his mom reading a book upfront and you figured now was the perfect time to mess with him. Your hand was resting on his thigh, innocently enough. You looked at him out of the corner of your eye as your hand moved up ever so slightly. Your fingers brushing against his length. Jackson’s head whipped towards you, eyebrow raised. Your hand moved to cup him through his jeans, rubbing slightly, biting back a smirk.
“What are you doing?” He whispered.
“Hm?” You looked down at your hand then back up at him and shrugged. “You don’t like this?” Your hand moved quicker against him, feeling his cock hardened in his pants.
“You know I do.” His eyes rolled close at the touch and you smirked, hiding it quickly as he opened his eyes again. “But my parents are up front.” His whisper full of panic as his eyes shot to the front seat. His parents nonethewiser to what was happening.
“Sorry.” You shrugged, dropping your hand back to their previous location on his thigh.
Jackson leaned his head back in the seat, confused. What had gotten into you? You weren’t typically the one for public displays of affection, and this definitely crossed those lines. Normally he wouldn’t complain, he’d encourage you if you got a thrill you wanted to chase, but not with his parents within ear shot. You spent the rest of the ride moving your hand teasingly up and down his thigh, making sure not to get too close to his still hard cock. Smirking every time he sucked in a breath.
Once you were at the AirBnB, Jackson hopped out of the car, adjusting his pants - hoping his parents wouldn’t notice and grabbed your suitcases. You slid your sunglasses on your face, hiding your smirk as you followed him up the driveway. Peeling off the sweater you’d worn from Seoul off as you followed him. The weather in Hainan was much warmer, making it the perfect destination spot for Jackson’s cousin’s wedding that weekend.
Jackson turned to face you, stopping in his tracks. He hadn’t seen you get dressed that morning, missing the shirt you’d put on under your sweater. He wished he hadn’t seen it now, he was pretty sure his brain was short circuiting. When had you even gotten that shirt? Why were you wasting it on a weekend with his parents when he’d much rather be ripping it off you in the privacy of your own home?
“You okay?” You asked innocently, sliding your sunglasses onto the top of your head as you walked past him into the house.
“Y-yeah, I’m fine.” He nodded, following you inside.
“You two are in the two rooms just down the hall from us.” Jackson’s dad explained as he gave you two a quick tour of the house.
You quickly caught on that this was a family vacation spot that they’d been coming to for years. This exact house was the only one they enjoyed staying at and had become close friends with the owner. You almost wanted to reconsider messing with Jackson the entire weekend, but he’d brought it on himself. He liked them bad and you were prepared to do what it took to show him that you could be bad too.
The last thing you wanted was for him to get bored with your good girl personality and go seek out some other woman while he was on tour. If you could show him that you could be like the rest of them, maybe he’d want to make this work long term. You were so worried after that conversation that this was it for you, he’d dump you after the trip.
What you didn’t know was how crazy he was about you, exactly as you were. How this trip was an introduction and also his way of telling his family that he was going to marry you.
The rest of the day was normal, or as normal as a day could go when you were spending time with Jackson’s parents for the first time. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t nervous. You wanted to make a good impression. Maybe if he saw how much they liked you and you could show him there was this whole other side to you, he wouldn’t lose interest.
That evening, you’d opted to stay in and cook and after a quick trip to a nearby market you were in your element in the kitchen. Jackson attempted to help you as you chopped vegetables. His parents were in the other room, giving you time to tease him again.
As you moved to the stove, you brushed against him, your hand moving to his ass, giving it a light squeeze. Jackson went wide eyed, head moving around to make sure his parents didn’t see. They were very traditional, didn’t even know you’d moved in. The last thing he needed was for them to see you openly touching him like this.
“Baby.” He whispered, his hands moving to yours and pulling it away. “Not here.”
“Accident.” You lied, turning towards the stove, throwing the vegetables into the frying pan.
“Accidentally squeezed my ass?” He whispered, an amused expression on his face as he moved to stand next to you.
“Yes, my intrusive thoughts accidentally won. I thought you’d like it.” You shrugged.
Jackson snorted and shook his head, completely caught off guard by whatever had possessed you that day to respond. He tried to keep his distance in the kitchen, which was something extremely difficult for him to do. He knew keep things lowkey around his parents was going to be difficult, but he hadn’t expected you to make it so much harder for him.
Dinner started off innocently, your foot rubbing his ankle, sliding up and down his calf slowly, so that no attention was brought to the awkward movement. You waited for him to pick up his chopsticks, your hand moving to rest on his thigh giving him an encouraging pat as his mom complemented him on his tour.
“I’m always in awe of his talent.” You confessed, your hand squeezing his thigh as you completed him.
“We were so worried when he told us his dreams. Knowing how hard they treat idols in Korea. But he ended up with a good support system and came out so much stronger on the other side. We’re so proud.” His mother beamed. Jackson’s face flushed.
“Okay, thanks guys.” He shook his head, trying his best to not pay attention to your wandering hand.
As you went to cup him through his pants his hand shot up to grab yours, lacing your fingers together as he pulled your hand away. You shot him a sideways glance, one he ignored as he continued eating his meal. He was still so confused as to what had gotten into you and wished he could explore this new side of you the way it deserved to be explored. There was only so much he could do in front of his parents though. He gave your hand a gentle squeeze and you sighed as you relaxed against him.
You didn’t make any more attempts that evening, there wasn’t time. The family had gathered in the living room for after dinner drinks and planning for the rehearsal dinner the following evening. You wished you had more time to stay and explore this island, you’d never been to it before and it seemed like it had so much to offer up. Unfortunately, after the wedding, you had to fly home so Jackson could continue with his album recording and tour. Jackson noticed your mood shift and frowned as he placed an arm around you, pulling you close.
“Are you okay?” You nodded, setting your drink down.
“Yeah, just thinking about how wish I could keep you here for a few more days after everyone leaves. There’s so much I’d do to you.” You whispered. Jackson nearly choked on his drink at your words his parents only noticing his clumsiness. You sighed as you moved away from him.
“This has been such a lovely day, but I think I’m going to go to bed now.” You stood, Jackson's parents following suit.
Goodnights were exchanged between everyone and once his parents were safely in their room, door closed, Jackson grabbed your arm, pulling you back to him. He kissed you gently, too gently for your liking and you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer, your tongue darting out to brush his lower lip and he obliged, deepening the kiss. He knew he was playing a dangerous game, but it was only a kiss, right?
Wrong. Your hands moved, running down his chest, you practically melting as you felt his muscles tighten beneath his shirt. Your hand stopped at his pants, palming his length through his jeans and you smirked into the kiss at how hard he was by just a few little touches.
“Good night, baby.” You sighed as you pulled away from him. You didn’t give him an opportunity to reply as you turned, walked into your room and closed the door.
Jackson stood in the hallway blinking at your closed door, his cock throbbing in his pants and he let out a low groan. This was going to be a long weekend if you kept up whatever it was you were doing. He had half a mind to throw out all his parents wishes, follow you into your room, and fuck you until morning. He knew he couldn’t though, so with a sigh he turned and headed to his room. Despite all the frustration, Jackson fell asleep pretty quickly, not knowing that when he woke up in the morning there’d be a voice note and a video from you.
Synopsis
Jinyoung’s shy cousin stays with GOT7, but party reveals his bold side, sparking tension with Jackson.
Content Warnings
alcohol consumption, sexual tension, sexual activity, drunken sex, smut, anal, P in A, oral sex.
authors note
I kind of rushed this while otp with my best friend @hoonksl
Before staying with Jinyoung and his friends, your life is quiet to the point of routine.
You wake up early. You like mornings because they don’t talk back. You eat the same breakfast most days, scroll on your phone, reread things you already know. You don’t go out unless you have to. You like libraries, dim cafés, places where no one asks questions.
You don’t talk much. Not because you can’t, but because you don’t feel the need to fill space.
You’ve always been like that. Even growing up, people learned quickly that you existed best on the edges. Observant. Reserved. Sharp when spoken to directly.
Jinyoung is one of the few people who never pushed.
When he texts asking if you want to stay with him and his group for a few days while your place is being worked on, you hesitate for a long time before answering.
You don’t say no.
The first thing you notice when you arrive is the noise.
The door barely opens before someone shouts something from inside. Music is playing. There’s laughter layered over conversation, shoes kicked off in a messy line near the entrance.
You stand there with your bag in one hand, backpack on your shoulder, glasses slipping slightly down your nose.
Jinyoung notices immediately.
“Hey,” he says, coming over and taking your bag like it weighs nothing. “You made it.”
You nod. “Yeah.”
That’s it. One word.
He doesn’t comment on it. He just smiles and leads you inside.
Introductions happen fast.
Mark gives a polite nod. Jaebeom greets you quietly. Youngjae beams like he’s meeting a new best friend. Bambam looks you up and down openly, clearly clocking the tattoos. Yugyeom waves too enthusiastically.
Jackson is leaning against the counter with a drink in his hand.
He looks at you longer than the others.
Not in a rude way. Just curious.
“You’re quieter than Jinyoung said,” he remarks.
You shrug slightly.
He grins. “I like quiet people.”
You don’t know how to respond to that, so you don’t.
Living with them is… a lot.
Mornings start loud. Someone is always awake earlier than everyone else, and someone is always annoyed about it. The kitchen is chaos. Someone burns toast. Someone else eats it anyway.
You take up space carefully.
You wake up early, before most of them. You make coffee quietly. You sit at the table with your laptop or a book, legs tucked under the chair. Your tattoos are mostly hidden under long sleeves. Only the small face tattoos are visible, subtle but unmistakable.
They notice.
Bambam asks questions you answer with nods or short replies. Youngjae tries to include you in conversations. Yugyeom sits near you even when you don’t talk.
Jackson watches from a distance.
At night, they gather in the living room. Video games. Movies. Random debates that get heated for no reason. You usually sit on the floor or at the end of the couch, listening more than speaking.
You laugh sometimes. Quietly.
Jackson hears it every time.
One night, he offers you a drink. Just soda. He doesn’t assume.
“Thanks,” you say, voice soft.
He raises an eyebrow like he’s surprised you spoke.
You live there for days, and slowly, the group adapts around you.
They learn you don’t like loud questions first thing in the morning. They learn you always wash your own dishes immediately. They learn you stay up late reading or typing quietly while everyone else sleeps.
Jackson learns you’re not fragile.
He sees you spar verbally with Jinyoung once, sharp and dry. He sees the way you roll your eyes when Bambam exaggerates. He sees how your confidence exists, just… dormant.
It sticks with him.
Jackson announces the party like it’s a public service.
You’re sitting at the table when he does.
“Party tonight,” he says. “Big one.”
You glance up. “Okay.”
He pauses. “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”
“I’ll come,” you say.
That surprises him.
The apartment transforms by night. Music louder than usual. People you don’t know filling the space. Drinks everywhere.
At first, you stick close to Jinyoung. You nurse one drink, shoulders slightly hunched, glasses fogging up.
Then someone hands you another.
Then another.
Alcohol hits you differently than people expect.
It doesn’t make you sleepy.
It makes you bold.
Your shoulders loosen. Your laugh comes out loud instead of tucked away. You start talking, really talking, jokes landing effortlessly. You flirt without realizing it. You dance like you don’t care who’s watching.
Jackson notices instantly.
He stares, genuinely stunned.
This version of you owns the room.
Your tattoos are fully visible now. Your glasses are crooked. Your smile is dangerous.
“Where the hell did you come from?” Jackson laughs when you grab his arm to pull him into a game.
You grin. “I’ve been here.”
Truth or dare circles to you fast.
“Kiss Jackson,” someone dares.
The room explodes.
Jackson freezes for half a second. Then he shrugs like it doesn’t matter.
“If he wants,” he says.
You don’t hesitate.
You kiss him deeply, confidently, hands in his shirt, mouth unapologetic. It’s not sweet. It’s not shy. It’s real.
When you pull away, you don’t linger.
You laugh, grab another drink, and go right back to the game.
Jackson is wrecked.
He can’t stop watching you. Can’t follow conversations. Can’t shake the feeling that you just rewired something in him and walked away like it meant nothing.
Jackson finds you laughing too loudly near the couch.
He grabs your wrist.
“Come with me.”
You don’t resist.
He pulls you down the hallway and into his room, closing the door behind you. The music dulls instantly.
“What was that?” he asks, voice low.
You tilt your head. “A dare.”
“That’s it?”
You step closer, eyes dark, confident in a way he hasn’t seen before. “Did you want it to be more?”
He doesn’t answer with words.
He kisses you again, slower this time. Intimate. Intentional. Hands at your waist. Yours fisting his shirt.
The moment the door clicks shut, the party noise fades to a distant hum, leaving only the sound of your breathing and the faint thumping of your heart against your ribs. Jackson's room is dimly lit, a single lamp casting shadows that dance across walls covered in posters and memorabilia. His hands are still at your waist, thumbs stroking circles through the thin fabric of your shirt.
"Who are you really?" he murmurs, voice husky as he studies your face. His fingers trace the line of your jaw, ghosting over the small tattoos near your temple.
You tilt your head into his touch. "The same person who's been here all week."
"No." Jackson shakes his head slowly. "That person... they held back. This you..." He leans closer until your breath mingles. "This you doesn't hesitate."
You close the remaining distance between you, pressing your body against his. "Maybe I just needed the right audience."
His laugh is low, vibrating through your chest. "And I'm the right audience?"
"Apparently." Your hands slide up his chest, fingers curling into his shirt. "You're still watching."
"Can't help it." Jackson's lips find yours again, slower this time but somehow more intense. His tongue traces your bottom lip before slipping inside, exploring, claiming. The kiss deepens, growing hungry as his hands move from your waist to your lower back, pulling you flush against him.
When you finally break apart, you're both breathing heavily. Jackson's eyes are dark with desire as he reaches for the hem of your shirt. "Can I?"
Instead of answering, you lift your arms, letting him pull the fabric over your head. His eyes sweep over your exposed torso, tracing the ink that covers your arms and chest. "God," he whispers, fingers reverently following the lines of a dragon curling around your bicep. "You've been hiding all this?"
"Some things are worth revealing slowly." You reach for his shirt in turn, needing to feel his skin against yours. The moment it's gone, your hands map his chest, the muscles tensing under your touch.
Jackson guides you toward his bed, the backs of your legs hitting the mattress. You sit, pulling him down with you. The kiss that follows is messier now, more desperate. Teeth scrape against lips, tongues tangle, hands explore with increasing urgency. His fingers find the button of your jeans, pausing for permission.
You answer by arching into his touch, a silent invitation. The sound of your zipper seems impossibly loud in the quiet room. Jackson's hand slips inside, palming you through your underwear. You gasp against his mouth as his thumb presses against your growing erection, the fabric of your boxers dampening with pre-cum already.
"Jackson," you breathe, hips bucking instinctively.
"Shhh," he murmurs, kissing along your jawline. "Let me take care of you."
He shifts, kneeling between your legs as he works your jeans and underwear down. You lift your hips to help, suddenly feeling exposed in a way that has nothing to do with nudity. Jackson's gaze is intense as he takes you in, his expression a mixture of awe and hunger as your hard cock springs free, the tip glistening with fluid.
"Beautiful," he whispers, bending to press kisses along your inner thigh. His breath is warm against your skin, sending shivers through your body. When his mouth finally closes around the head of your cock, you cry out, fingers tangling in his hair.
Jackson takes his time, exploring every inch of you with lips and tongue. He watches your reactions, learning what makes you gasp, what makes you moan, what makes your back arch off the bed. His tongue traces the sensitive ridge where the head meets the shaft, then swirls around the tip, tasting the salty pre-cum that beads there. One of his hands cups your balls, gently rolling them in his palm while the other strokes the base of your cock in a twisting motion that has you seeing stars.
The alcohol has lowered your inhibitions but this—this intimacy—is something else entirely. You've never let anyone see you like this, never trusted someone enough to surrender control. Jackson's mouth is hot and wet as he takes you deeper, his throat muscles working around your length. The sight of his lips stretched around your girth, his eyes closed in concentration, is almost too much.
When he hollows his cheeks and sucks hard, your hips jerk off the bed. "Jackson," you gasp, "I'm gonna—"
He doesn't stop, instead taking you even deeper as his finger presses against your perineum, sending a jolt of pleasure through your body. That's all it takes. You come with a cry, your cock pulsing as you release into his mouth. Jackson swallows everything, continuing to suck gently as you ride out your orgasm.
He doesn't stop, working you through every aftershock until you're spent and boneless on his sheets. Only then does he crawl up to lie beside you, pulling you into his arms. Your head rests on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart.
"Okay?" he asks, fingers stroking your hair.
You nod against his skin, too sated to form words yet. After a moment, you shift, propping yourself up on an elbow. "Your turn."
Jackson's eyes widen slightly. "You don't have to—"
"I want to." You lean in, kissing him deeply, tasting yourself on his tongue. Your hand travels down his body, finding him already hard and straining against his jeans. "Tell me what you like."
"Everything," he breathes as your fingers work his zipper free. "Everything with you."
You take your time exploring him, learning his responses as he learned yours. His breath hitches when you use your nails just so. His hips jerk when you tease the sensitive spot below his navel. When you finally free his cock, you pause to appreciate the sight of it—thick and proud, the head flushed dark with arousal, a vein pulsing along the underside.
You lean in, flicking your tongue against the slit where pre-cum beads. Jackson's hands fist in the sheets. "God," he groans as you take the head into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the ridge. His cock tastes clean and slightly salty as you take more of him in, your hand stroking what your mouth can't reach.
The power rush is intoxicating—this confident, outspoken man unraveling under your touch. You experiment with pressure and pace, watching his face contort with pleasure. His fingers tangle in your hair, not guiding but simply holding on as you take him deeper, your nose brushing against his trimmed pubic hair.
"Stop," he gasps suddenly. "Wait."
You pull back, concerned. "Too much?"
"No." He shakes his head, chest heaving. "I want to be inside you when I come."
The directness sends a fresh wave of desire through you. You reach for his nightstand, fumbling for the drawer. Jackson stops you, retrieving a condom and lube himself. His hands shake slightly as he rolls the latex down his length, then squeezes a generous amount of lube onto his fingers.
"Are you sure?" he asks, positioning himself between your legs.
In answer, you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. "Jackson."
That's all it takes. He enters you slowly, carefully, watching your face for any sign of discomfort. The stretch is intense but not painful, and you relax into it, welcoming the fullness as his cock sinks deeper inch by inch. When he's fully seated, his balls pressing against your ass, you both pause, simply breathing together.
"Move," you whisper after a moment.
He starts slow, rocking into you with a rhythm that quickly has you climbing again. The angle shifts, and suddenly he's hitting that spot inside that makes stars burst behind your eyes—your prostate. Your nails dig into his shoulders as you meet his thrusts, the sounds of skin against skin filling the room.
Jackson's mouth finds yours, the kiss messy and desperate as your pace quickens. "Look at me," he pants against your lips.
You force your eyes open, meeting his gaze. The intensity there nearly undoes you—raw want mixed with something deeper, something that feels dangerously like connection. You're the first to break, crying out as your second orgasm crashes through you without anyone even touching your cock. Jackson follows with a groan, burying his face in your neck as he pulses inside you, filling the condom with his release.
Afterward, you lie tangled together, sweat cooling on your skin. The party noise has faded further, the apartment growing quiet as guests leave. Jackson traces patterns on your back, his touch gentle now.
"What happens tomorrow?" he asks softly.
You consider it. "Tomorrow morning, I'll be quiet again."
"And tonight?"
You shift to look at him properly. "Tonight... I'm here. With you."
His smile is genuine. "Good answer." He leans in for another kiss, softer this time. "Stay the night?"
"Where else would I go?"
As you drift toward sleep, Jackson's arms wrapped around you, you realize something. The quiet version of you isn't false—it's just one part of a whole. And Jackson, with his infectious energy and unexpected gentleness, seems determined to discover all the other parts too. For the first time in a long time, you're looking forward to morning.
dancing with your silhouette - bsf jayb, mark tuan x reader, ex jackson, got7 friend group. non-idol au.
you're in love with your best friend, but to jaebeom you're just a distraction. a consolation prize he wishes he could mould into the one woman he can't have. you both know it. so why do you keep ending up in his bed hoping one day he'll love you back? can your bubbly new sweetheart of a neighbour, mark, be the fresh start you both need to finally say goodbye to your toxic cycle and move on? or will you miss it when love finally knocks on your door in favour of dancing with jaebeom's silhouette?
You wake up to find the bed empty again. The spot beside you is cold. He's been up for a while. You climb out from under the covers and throw on the hoodie laying over the chair in the corner. It's a good thing you know his room so well or you'd never find your way around in the dark like this but you can’t be bothered turning the lights on just to drag him back to sleep.
You step into a pair of his oversized slippers and make your way out to the living room. Jaebeom is exactly where you expect him to be. It's where you always find him on nights like these. You wrap your arms around yourself as you step out onto the balcony and push down the hurt. You stop a few steps back, not touching the man leaning on the railing.
He doesn't turn around but you know he heard you, the balcony door still squeaks a little from that time Jinyoung insisted he could fix it after he and Jackson somehow accidentally knocked it off the tracks years ago. If it bothered him enough to get it properly sorted you'd believe Jaebeom had any intentions of moving on, but it’s still exactly how they left it after Bam and Yugyeom came over to help fix it that night. The last time you'd ever seen him smile the way he used to.
"Beom-ah."
Your voice is soft but you don’t need it to carry far. Not tonight.
"Do you ever wonder if things would be different?"
You know what he means. If you hadn't spent the evening drinking with your friends, laughing as they tried multiple times to right the balcony door and every correction by Jackson about the angle being slightly off made Bam yell right back. If it hadn't taken the five men all night to get the door back into place because they kept baiting each other and wrestling in Jaebeom's living room.
If he hadn't been so busy and distracted with all of you and missed her call. Would things have been different if he had just answered? Would she have left? Would they still be together? You wonder a lot of the same things, just in different ways.
"All the time."
You've never lied to Jaebeom, not even little white ones. You don't tell him it's good when the cake he bakes for you twenty first birthday tastes like he used salt instead of sugar or when he paints the back of that denim jacket he wants to wear to a festival but picks the wrong type of paint and it dries all crackled and warped or even when he tries a new haircut and it makes his face just look slightly off. You don’t plan to start now.
"I can't help wondering if we'd ever have gotten together if she hadn't left."
He takes a sip from the bottle dangling in his hand and you have to push back the ache in your chest. You're not together, not really. You never have been. Jaebeom uses you like a distraction. You've always known that. You knew what you were getting into that first night when he kissed you at Jinyoung's party, drunk off his ass and mumbling her name even as he tugged you into the bathroom and kicked the door shut behind you both.
"We're not dating Beom."
You've always known you were just a place filler, but that doesn't make it sting any less. You used to hope that if you stayed by his side long enough someday he would snap out of his grief and see that you had been there for him the whole time. Maybe something between you would really change. You've long given up on that hope. He's never going to see you the way you want him to. That doesn't mean it isn't still a hard pill to swallow.
He does look at you then.
"You know I love you right?"
Your smile is sad but you nod.
"I know. You love me as a friend."
All you've ever been, all you're ever going to be, is a rebound. It's probably time you made peace with that.
Jaebeom sighs, downing his beer. You step closer until you're shoulder to shoulder.
"I'm sorry y/n."
He bumps you with his shoulder, eyes still on the stars twinkling in the distance.
"For what?"
Hiding things and lying aren't quite the same, not really, not when you've never tried. Is it really a secret if you've been so obvious everyone else around you knows and Jaebeom is just the only one who's never noticed? At least, that was what you thought.
He sighs, leaning his head against yours as you turn towards him. He brushes a whisper of a kiss against your temple and you can smell the alcohol on his breath. He's been drinking for a while now.
"For ruining our friendship."
You sigh. "Beom, you didn't ruin anything."
He nods. "I did. I ruined us. You used to be one of my best friends. You and Jinyoung."
You smile softly, arm sliding around his back as you lean closer to rest your cheek against his shoulder.
"I'm still your best friend."
He shakes his head. "It’s not the same. I took advantage of what we had."
You can’t deny that. Not even if you're just as much to blame for going along with it.
"I strung you along."
You sigh. "No, you never made me any promises you didn't keep Beom-ah. It was me who got into her head that you'd ever be ready to give me things you didn't feel."
You step back and pat his arm.
"Come on. Let's get some sleep. We can talk in the morning, okay?"
He pouts but when you tug at his arm he doesn't resist. You set the empty beer bottle on the coffee table as he stumbles back inside after you.
"I really am sorry."
Your laugh is a little more brittle and bitter than you inteded, maybe because your clothing is still littered over his bedroom floor. You've spent enough time overthinking your unrequited crush on Jaebeom to have gotten over blaming him, mostly. Maybe if he was a worse person, but he isn’t, and you know that even when he makes decisions that make you want to throttle him.
"I'm sorry too. For not being what you needed."
He frowns, leaning more heavily on you than sober Jaebeom ever would have let himself as you help him back to his room. He drops down onto the end of the bed and stares at you.
"Don’t blame yourself."
You just step out of the slippers and drop his hoodie onto the chair.
"Too late."
You move to step around him when his hand catches your wrist. His grip is gentle, careful, even in his inebriated state he would never hurt you. You could pull away without much effort if you really wanted to.
"You've always been too good for me y/n."
You don't have anything to say to that, so you don't answer him. He isn’t expecting you to. It's not a question to Jaebeom, it's a statement of fact. He's always been a little overprotective, ever since you and Jackson got together and then subsequently broke up. It took a while for them to sort things out and be friends again after the venting you had done to Jaebeom, even if his friend had never really done anything beyond frustrate you.
You two just hadn't been compatible romantically but Jaebeom had held a grudge for you being upset about the breakup long after you and Jackson had sorted things and become friends again. There's no point arguing with him. Your best friend knows you're far from perfect, but he still insist on seeing all the good parts of you anyway.
"It was never you. I just couldn't love you the way you needed me to."
You give in then, to the fondness in your chest and your many years of friendship. You lean down and pull Jaebeom into a hug.
"You've always loved me the way I needed Beom-ah, just not the way I wanted and maybe we're both better off that you don’t feel that way about me."
He pats your arm and allows the sappy moment even though you know he's rolling his eyes about it. That makes you smile a little and when you pull back, he reaches up to wipe at the few tears that have fallen. You hadn't even felt them until he collected them on his thumb. He opens his mouth to say something but you just shake your head.
"I'll get over it, just give me a little time, okay?"
He sighs but he knows there's no point arguing. He's tired and drunk, you're incredibly stubborn. He just nods. You press a last kiss to his cheek.
"Sleep. You're going to feel like hell in the morning."
Jaebeom just gives you a look and moves to crawl under the covers. You slip back into your spot on the other side of the bed and close your eyes. This time you don’t face him and he doesn't comment on the silent tears dripping onto your pillow.
You don't speak about it the next morning but something tense lingers between you as you make Jaebeom breakfast and clean up. You both know this is going to get awkward and maybe even a little ugly before it gets better.
"Good morning sleeping beauty."
You try for teasing, the way you used to find effortless, but it falls a little flat.
"Morning y/n."
Jaebeom's greeting is quiet, he looks as hungover as you expected him to feel, but it’s less enthusiastic than usual. Something is missing between you. You can both feel it.
"Here." You hand him a glass of water and a painkiller. "Coffee?"
He takes them, the water gone in no time as he sinks onto one of the barstools and rests his forehead against the cool marble-look countertop.
"Please. Can I help with anything?"
You just shake your head even though he can't see it. "No. I've got it handled."
You and Jinyoung are the only ones allowed to make yourselves at home in his kitchen. It used to make you feel a little special, this thrill that he likes you better, but that isn't it. You're just guaranteed to clean up after yourself and not leave him with a mess of dishes in the sink. That and he can trust you to make something edible.
Jinyoung is the real special one out of the two of you. He is not guaranteed to make something Jaebeom considers real food but he could leave flour and fingerprints all over every appliance and still be allowed kitchen privileges. He flaunts this knowledge freely.
You're glad that Jaebeom has someone else to talk to because even if you can’t quite understand what he's going through right now, you know he'll never be alone in it. Not as long as your friends are around.
"You need me to call anyone?"
He sits up as you set a plate and fresh mug in front of him.
"No." He shakes his head. "I'm meeting Jinyoung and Yugyeom at the gym later."
You pat his shoulder. If he's going boxing with both of them he's going to be in good hands, but he's going to feel like shit.
"Better eat up then. You'll want to soak up the hangover before Kyeomie kicks your ass."
It feels a little more normal the way he laughs, and winces.
"I am not letting the kid win." He mumbles into his coffee.
"Okay grandpa."
You leave him to eat while you borrow his shower one last time and slip back into your clothes from last night. Jaebeom insists on walking you down to your car, and it’s bittersweet when you finally part. You reach up to cup his cheek in one hand.
He lets you. Leans into it for a minute. Lays his palm over yours and kisses your knuckles as he pulls your hand away gently. You let him pull you into a hug, and the silence is heavy as you both just stand there for a while. Jaebeom's chin resting on the top of your head, your cheek pressed against his chest. It's comfort and one last moment of holding onto things as they are before you have to admit that everything is changing. It feels more like a goodbye than either of you wants to admit.
You blink back the tears until you pull into your own parking spot at your apartment and set the car in park. The moment you pull up the parking brake and turn the keys, hear the engine stop purring, they fall. You sit in your car for an hour just letting them all out. When you finally collect yourself enough to head upstairs you're sure you look like a mess.
It's a good thing you keep a pack of tissues in your purse because today you needed them. You feel empty when you drag yourself upstairs. Drained. Barely human. So of course that's when you meet your new neighbour.
You're just slipping your key into the lock on your apartment door when the one next to you opens and the most beautiful man you've ever seen steps out. He's dressed in jeans and a soft striped sweater tucked in at the hem. He smiles at you softly and you do your best to respond in kind. It probably looks more like a grimace right now.
"Rough day?"
You laugh at the sympathy in his tone.
"You could say that."
He seems nice enough. You don’t want to be rude so you try to muster up the energy to be friendlier than you feel right now.
He nods. "I'll leave you to decompress then. I'm Mark by the way, I don't think we've met."
You take the hand he offers. It's warm and soft, his handshake firm but not in a way that tests you.
"Nice to meet you Mark. I'm y/n."
"I'll remember that when it's not a bad day for you."
His easy smile makes the teasing feel good natured, even in your heightened sensitive state. He isn’t trying to make you feel worse. In fact, he seems to be doing his best to cheer you up. You offer a soft smile back.
The banter is nice, especially because he has no expectactions. The kindness, friendlyness, you didn't realize you needed that right now. He must see the way your face changes because he clears his throat and adjusts the bag on his shoulder.
"I guess I'll see you around."
You nod.
"Well, you do live here."
The crease between his brows eases at the teasing in your tone.
"That I do." He laughs and it's nice to hear after how your day has been so far. "Later y/n."
He smiles as he bids you goodbye to head over to the elevator and you enter your apartment feeling a little less heavy. A cup of tea or six and some time splayed out on your bed staring at the ceiling help you gather yourself enough to move on with your day.
Thankfully it's Sunday. All you have to get through is laundry and cleaning and making a run for some groceries.
Jaebeom gives you the time you asked for. You don’t get so much as a single text for days. You don’t reach out first. You both need a little space to breathe. Your friends allow you exactly two weeks of wallowing before Jackson shows up at your apartment, knocking on your door and refusing to stop making a scene until you let him in.
He's just come from work, you can tell by the rumpled dress shirt and loose tie. He holds up two bags of takeout without a word and you realize that maybe you needed this after all.
"Have you eaten today?"
You follow him into the kitchen, pushing up the sleeves of your oversized sweater as you go to get out some plates.
"Does coffee count?"
He just stares at you. You sigh and set the plates on the counter.
"I can't say it's a priority right now but I'm not starving myself Sseunie."
He folds his arms over his chest and gives you a look that says he's going to take you at your word but he's keeping an eye on you. It makes you smile a little. His concern is well placed even if sometimes it's a little smothering. You step closer and pull him into a hug.
He relents easily enough, resting his cheek against the top of your head as his arms slide around you. It's familiar and you find yourself relaxing. He's warm and the scent of his cologne is soothing. Everything about Jackson is like comfort distilled into a human being. Maybe you're just too used to him.
"You okay?"
You nod as he breathes the question against your hair. He's one of the few people you ever allow so close. Jackson's seen you at pretty much every up and down in life at this point and there isn't much left to feel like you need to hold back from him. He's your closest friend, besides Jaebeom, and somehow it's different.
"I will be."
You step back and turn to grab some cutlery.
"I have some pretty good friends to lean on in the meantime."
That cracks a smile from him and he squeezes your shoulder, moving to open the takeout containers. He picked up all of your favourites.
"Yeah, we are pretty great."
You bump his shoulder with yours and put the kettle on for tea.
"Don’t let it go to your head."
That night you sleep without tossing and turning for the first time and, though it's still raw, it hurts a little less.
You run into Mark again a few days later. This time looking much more presentable, luckily. He catches you on your way back from dropping your garbage in the chute down the hall. He seems to have just come home. You offer him a wave that he returns, mail in hand, as he stops outside his door.
"Got caught in the rain I see?"
You see the dark spots on his t-shirt, the navy blue doing a pretty good job of camouflaging the wetness on his shoulders until you get close enough to see the way his brown hair drips onto them.
He shrugs. "Just the tail end of it."
"I'd offer to let you come dry off and warm up with some hot cocoa but you’re already basically home."
He chuckles at your offer. "Thanks, I appreciate it."
He holds up the envelopes in his hand.
"Unfortunately I have some things to open."
You nod solemnly.
"Ah yes, the all-important letters. I won't keep you then."
He smiles.
"See you around Mark."
He nods and waves again as he steps into his apartment. You're smiling as you follow suit into your own. Maybe actually getting to know the guy next door, just a little bit, didn't have to be awkward the way it was with most of your neighbours. You still haven't spoken to Jaebeom but maybe it’s time to break the silence.
You're in the shower when your phone rings. It's Bambam. You can't help shaking your head as you see his name on the screen when you step out. Three missed calls. He's still just as impatient. You dry your hair and call him back, still wrapped in your towel.
"Hey double B, what's up?"
His sigh is audible even over the phone. "You're spending way too much time with Jackson and Yugyeom."
You can't help the laugh that spills from your lips. It's not often that you get under Bam's skin. He's usually too busy riling up Jaebeom or Jackson to be bothered by your teasing.
"Maybe you’re just not spending enough time with them."
You don't have to see him to know he's rolling his eyes at you.
"I've seen Yugyeom five times this week."
You smile. They're always a little attached at the hip. It's cute. Yugyeom looks up to his slightly older friend and Bambam needs the company. Your youngest friend has such a big heart and Bam often needs a little reassurance, despite how confident he comes off all the time. They make a good pair and balance each other well.
"Well, then I think the problem is that you've become immune to him."
Bam chuckles. "I don't think anyone ever gets immune to Kyeomie."
You grin. "No, not really. That would be like saying you get used to having the sun up close and personal."
Your friend hums in agreement.
"Human sunshine aside, what can I do for you?"
"Are you done sulking about hyung enough to come to the bar with us tonight?"
Your smile grows at his straightforwardness. Bam never sugar coats anything and sometimes that's a little much but often, it's kind of welcome. Sometimes you need someone to just rip the bandaid off and tell it like it is. Even if you don't want to hear it.
"I wouldn't say I was sulking exactly." You hedge.
"Are you coming or not?"
His impatience bleeds through in the whine in his tone.
"Because they're driving me crazy and I need someone sane to hang out with."
You laugh then.
"That depends, are we going to the game bar or the club?"
The distinction is important. Playing drinking games with your friends is a very different night to Bam and Kyeom's idea of clubbing. They will spend all night on the dance floor and as much as you love them, that's not usually so much your scene. You have no sense of rhythm and two left feet. Even if they insist you don't.
It just always feels too awkward with other people watching and you can never seem to let go the way your friends do. You're glad they enjoy it but dancing is absolutely more their thing than your forte.
"Games tonight. They're currently playing rock, paper, scissors to see whether it's board games or the arcade."
You roll your eyes. "Idiots."
Bam snorts. "That's what I said."
"Who's they?"
"Jinyoung and Jackson." There’s a scuffling sound on the other end of the phone. "Can you hear Yugyeom egging them on?"
You can in fact hear the cheering and happy trilling bird sounds in background. It's faint but you would know Yugyeom's happy little giggle and that high pitched yell anywhere.
"So it's going well then?"
More scuffling and then Jaebeom is on the other end of the phone.
"Please say you're coming."
He sounds tired.
"Are they that annoying?"
He sighs. "You have no idea. I haven't known peace in three hours and counting."
You take a look in the mirror. "I'm going to need an hour."
You can almost feel the relief. Then Jaebeom yelps and Bam is back. You wouldn't put it past him to have stolen the phone by distracting your best friend with a nice bite to the hand or a pinch or something equally likely to get him into trouble.
If there was one thing BamBam enjoyed most it was rage baiting your friends. In his defence, their reactions were usually worth it. Not that anyone could ever stay mad at the charming and charismatic Bam. They’re too easily baited for their own good sometimes too.
"I'm coming over. I'll do your hair. Save us half an hour."
Now that is an offer you can't pass up. Never say no when Bam offers to help with hair and makeup, or when Jackson says he'll style you. They both have much better eyes for fashion than you do.
"You just don't want to die today."
"Correct."
"Okay. I'll leave the door unlocked."
He wasn't kidding. You've barely had time to finish freshening up and slip into a suitable outfit before he steps into your apartment and makes himself at home. You've missed this. He really is a wizard, by the time you get a text from Yugyeom that they're leaving (the arcade bar won, points to Jackson), you're nearly ready.
Bambam brushes one last bit of glitter over your eyelids and hands you a pair of platform boots and then you're exiting your apartment arm in arm. He might have talked you into a few shots of soju as a pregame. You're both still steady enough not to need to lean on each other but drinking always makes you a little clingier and Bam loves skinship.
You bump into Mark, clearly just on his way home, if the half-undone tie and two buttons popped on his untucked dress shirt are any indication.
"Well, hello neighbour."
You smile at his slightly startled greeting.
"Fancy seeing you here."
You shake your head. "I know, it's almost like I live here."
He smiles at your easy banter.
"Long day?"
You nod towards his slightly rumpled outfit. He runs a hand through his hair and nods.
"Something like that."
He looks tired. You don’t think you've ever seen him without a big smile and a sense of bouncing energy about him. Not that you've really seen each other that much.
"Are you going out?"
You nod.
"Oh, where are my manners. This is my friend BamBam," You realize you haven't done introductions and Bam has just been standing beside you watching curiously. "Bam, this is my neighbour Mark."
They take each other in and quickly seem to decide all is well because before you know it Mark has stepped closer to offer Bam his hand.
"Nice to meet you man."
Bambam shakes his hand with a smile. "You too."
Mark steps back and smiles softly. "Have a good night."
You wave goodbye as you tug Bam towards the elevators. He just grins the whole way. He doesn't speak until you step in, press the button for the lobby, and the doors close behind you both.
"I like him."
You sigh. "You like any man that's handsome and nice to me for five seconds."
His grin widens. "So you admit you noticed he's good looking?"
"I have eyes Bam." You shake your head. "I can appreciate that he’s pretty without looking any deeper into it."
He just wiggles his eyebrows at you playfully. "You know what they say about getting over someone."
"I am not getting under anyone else right now. Thank you very much. You're going to have to put your matchmaking on hold for a while."
Bam just flashes you that look, the one you know means he's up to no good. You reach up to turn his head, gently pushing his cheek until he's facing forward again.
"I mean it Bam. I need some time okay?"
He softens at your quiet tone. At the hurt in it. He nudges your shoulder lightly with his.
"When you're ready to get back out there..."
You smile softly. "You'll be the first person I call."
The promise lingers between you as you step out into the lobby. You know you can trust him. He just wants you to be happy. And maybe a little bit to earn forever bragging rights by setting you up with your next relationship. He's strangely good at vetting men but between him and Jackson, they can be a lot to run a potential partner through all at once.
"Tonight we're supposed to be having fun."
"That I can manage."
Work drags on that week and you find yourself reaching out first. Jaebeom has been in your life so long it's second nature that he’s the first person you turn to. It's 3pm, you've hit a lull in your emails and you could use a nap if you're honest but another cup of coffee will have to do instead. You get up, stretch, and make your way over to legal.
Jaebeom's office is one floor up and across the building but you know the route. It's one you've walked often over the years. You used to work up here across the floor from Jaebeom still, right over by the copiers. You like the quiet sometimes but it's always busy and hectic around the legal department. You stop at the front desk on your way past.
"Afternoon Sooah."
The receptionist smiles at you. "y/n."
"I'm dragging Jaebeom out for a coffee run, can we bring you anything back?"
"Oh, a green tea would be great if you don't mind."
You insist it's no trouble and wave as you wander through the maze towards your best friend's office. You stop at the desk just outside his inner office and pause to say hello to Haneul.
"Is he in a meeting?"
She shakes her head. "He's not busy until 4."
That's all you needed.
"Strawberry matcha?"
She grins. "I don't know how you remember that."
You just laugh. "We spent enough time as interns together, your drink order will live in my brain forever."
She waves you in and you find Jaebeom entrenched in paperwork. He holds up one finger and you slide into the chair across the desk from him to wait. He looks up when he's finished and blinks at you in surprise. There had been a time when you showing up in his office had been so expected he used to keep your favourite snacks in his top drawer so you wouldn't distract him from his work.
"y/n?"
You just smiled. "Fancy a coffee break Mr. Lim? Or are you drowning in too much legal jargon to step away right now?"
He runs a hand over his face. "I could use a second opinion actually. Can you spare half an hour if I agree to this coffee run?"
You're already halfway to the door.
"For you, always."
"That really does sound less weird coming from you than Jinyoung."
You laugh as he stands and grabs his wallet.
"We can always pop down to Communications and ask him to join us."
Jaebeom's hand lands on your shoulder, face straight as he looks directly ahead.
"I would rather remove my eyeballs with a melon peeler."
You nod. "Very graphic description. So, you two are fighting again huh?"
He sighs and gets the door, nodding for you to step through first. Even when he's irritated Jaebeom remains a gentleman.
"We're not fighting."
You glance back over your shoulder to be sure he's following as you continue ahead.
"Right, you two never fight. You're just sulking because he talked you into going out again this weekend."
Jaebeom doesn't reply and you grin. The lack of protest tells you that you've hit the nail right on the head. You find an extra bounce in your step and his sigh is long-suffering.
"Don’t say it."
You just grin. You really have missed this. Maybe it's better that Jaebeom sees you more like a little sister than a romantic partner. It still feels a little strange falling back into the friendzone but you're getting there.
On Friday night you get dragged out again, but this time on more notice. You don’t complain because even though it's been a long week you like seeing your friends and you know they're trying to get Jaebeom to come out more often. If you agree he has less of an excuse to stay home and drink, or sulk, alone. It's good for him to be a little more social so you'll live. Plus, it's an excuse to dress up and feel cute. You could use that right now.
Except it ends the way it always has lately. Jaebeom starts off tired but trying until one drink turns into six and it all starts going sideways. You've had a few too many shots, trying to distract yourself from the way his fingers wrap around the whiskey glass or his tongue flits out to wet his bottom lip. He notices. At first it's fine because you both know it can't go anywhere, not tonight. Not ever again.
The drinks keep coming, your friends distracting both of you with their stories about the week and silly antics until you're too warm. You step away to freshen up, to get some air. You take a moment to let your hands linger under the stream of cool water, patting them dry and resting your palms against your neck. It helps cool you down a little. One glass of water, you think, you'll go sip it slowly at the bar and then call it a night. Your friends will be so busy chatting up the girls at the table next to yours or on the dance floor they won't even notice, or mind if they do.
You have every intention of leaving before things get out of hand until Jaebeom happens. He's tipsy enough to be both charming and a little vulnerable. You lock eyes from across the small hallway as you exit the washroom and suddenly he's tugging at your wrist to pull you into a quiet corner, eyes half-lidded as his lips find yours.
You sink into it at first, the familiar comfort of his hands on your waist and his breath hot against your ear as he trails his lips down your neck. Your hand comes up to tug at his hair as he nips at your shoulder. You'd be content if this was your life but it can't be. As intoxicating as it might feel in this moment.
"Wait, stop."
He pulls back immediately, a question in his eyes as you catch your breath.
"No."
He blinks. "No?"
His hands are already gone and he's taken a step back to put a little space between your bodies.
"No." You shake your head. "Find someone to help get this out of your system if it works for you, but that person can't be me. Not anymore."
You watch his eyes widen as it clicks. As he remembers. The horrified expression that takes over as he realizes he was about to put you right back into a position you both agreed wasn't working for either of you anymore.
"y/n..."
You smile softly, reaching up to brush the back of your hand over his cheek.
"Please don't apologize Beom-ah. I wish I could give you no strings but you know we're only going to end up hurting each other if I give in tonight. I don't want to resent you."
He nods, running a hand over his face. His laughter is sharp, dry, an awful heartbreaking sound as he steps back against the far wall and slumps into himself.
"If I could love you the way you love me it would fix everything."
It's your turn to step closer this time, stopping when you're toe to toe. Jaebeom just looks at you sadly.
"I know." You rest a hand on his shoulder. "But forcing it hasn't worked. It's time to admit that just isn't our path."
He nods, tucking his hands into his pockets as you step back.
"It would be so much easier."
"Maybe." You agree. "Life doesn't seem to think easy is what we need."
He does smile at that, just for a second. You hold your arms out. "Hug?"
He nods but doesn’t move to initiate. It's almost like he doesn't quite trust himself. You squeeze him lightly before stepping back.
"Come on, let's get you a glass of water."
He follows you back out to the bar.
"What about you?"
"I think I'm going to call it a night."
He nods and you're both saved from lingering awkwardness by Yugyeom spotting you and yelling at you both to join them for another round of soju shots. You smile even as you wave him off and nudge Jaebeom into a seat beside Jackson. They're arguing (playfully) before you even manage to wiggle out of Yugyeom's drunken goodnight bearhug.
Jaebeom makes eye contact with you as you grab your purse and wave. He keeps his eyes on you as he downs his shot and yours and you can only sigh. Maybe it's time to step back and just let Jinyoung shake some sense into him. He'll respect your boundaries, but you’re not sure he's ready to help himself. He'll get there eventually you just worry about the state he might be in before he finally makes the choice to climb back out of this place.
Jinyoung catches you as you turn to go, pulling you into a hug. He uses the goodbye to lean in and whisper so only you can hear.
"I've got him."
Your smile feels a little less unsteady as you step back this time.
"I know."
You find yourself on your balcony nursing a glass of wine after making it home. You have three unread texts and none of them are getting answered tonight. Jackson's probably worrying but he'll understand you need a little space. You don’t want to even attempt to read Jaebeom's typo-riddled apology. If you're both lucky he'll have the sense to un-send it in a few hours before you can muster the courage to open it and you can both pretend it never happened.
The third message you'll get to after another drink or three maybe. It's your old college friend Youngjae. You haven’t caught up in a while, not since he moved across the country for a job last year, but he always has fun stories to tell about things going on in his life or with his family and you do miss talking more often.
Maybe that's something you can focus on to takw your mind off of things for a while. You have the time now to start checking in more. You sigh, dropping your phone onto the chair beside you and leaning against the railing as you take another sip of your wine. It's a sparkling white the woman at the wine bar recommended.
It's all right, nothing special to write home about. You weren't going for spectacular tonight you just wanted something to take the edge off and help you forget. You're starting to understand how Jaebeom has come to use alcohol as such a crutch lately. It works, in the moment at least.
"Well, fancy meeting you here."
You turn to find Mark on his own balcony. He holds up a cup of what looks to be coffee in greeting.
"Aren't you freezing?"
You glance down at your strappy silk dress and shrug.
"Maybe that's part of the appeal."
He seems a little concerned until you smile and tilt your head towards his bare feet.
"Tell that to your toes. They're more likely to get frostbite than my thighs."
He glances down and rubs the back of his neck, smile sheepish.
"Fair enough."
You both stand there in silence for a minute until he steps closer.
"Genuinely though, are you okay?"
You can't help the little spark of warmth that flutters through you at the question. The way he seems to notice when you're not yourself and actually care about the answer. It's... nice.
"I will be."
He nods. "Long night?"
You laugh. "What gave it away? Was it the smudged makeup?"
He shakes his head, smiling as he nods toward your slipper clad feet.
"The combination of little black dress and cookie monster might have been my first clue."
You nod.
"The half empty bottle of wine was another. And I heard you get home like an hour ago." He shrugs. "It’s been quiet."
You step closer to the vine covered iron fence separating your little rectangle of balcony from his.
"You noticed that?"
He smiles. "I've been living beside you for months. It's not hard to notice when the usual pattern changes."
"Are you calling me loud Tuan?"
He just chuckles. "No, I'm saying I like your music taste. That's usually why I end up listening."
You hold out your glass. He clinks it gently with his mug.
"I hope you enjoy the impromptu concerts."
He shrugs, sipping his coffee. "They’re entertainment."
"You think I'm tone deaf, don't you."
He smiles. "No you're quite good, I particularly enjoy your very soulful rendition of we will rock you."
That has you nearly choking on the wine you just swallowed. You snort.
"I'm going to have to stop singing in the shower starting today."
"Please don't, I need some joy in my day."
Mark's easy laughter and teasing unwinds something you hadn't realized was so tense. You feel relaxed for the first time in days. You could get used to the way conversation just flows with him. You never have to talk about anything deep, it's just nice chatting with someone who has no expectactions of you sometimes. Who doesn't know what a mess your life is right now.
"What has you out here sipping caffeine at this hour on a Friday?"
He glances at the watch on his wrist. "Saturday actually."
You laugh. "Okay Mr. Tuan."
He scrunches his nose. "Please never call me that again. I feel like my dad."
You grin. "The first thing you should know about me is never let me know when something annoys you. I will use it against you forever."
He sighs. "I'll remember that for next time."
You lean back against the railing and watch him over the rim of your glass. He looks sleepy and rumpled. Cozy in his sweatpants, hoodie and t-shirt with the wind ruffling that soft brown hair. He adjusts the round frames slipping down his nose.
"So, mister insomnia, care to share?"
He sighs and you see the tiredness his usual cheery smile camouflages so well.
"I guess you could say I've had a long night of my own."
You offer him another clink of your glass. "Welcome to the club then, you want to talk about it?"
He considers your offer and then shakes his head. "Honestly? I'd really just prefer to forget all about it."
You bite your lip and set your glass down, turning to face the sky.
"Do you see those two stars right there?"
You hold your arm out, fingers tracing the path. Mark follows along, tilting his head for a better look as he steps over beside you. He nods.
"That's Canes Vanatici." You smile softly. "The hunting dogs."
He leans against the railing on his side of the fence. "How many of these constellations do you know?"
"Probably less than you expect." You smile softly. "It helps me feel less alone on nights like these to look at the stars and know there's so much else out there."
By the time you've shown him the handful of constellations you know and can find out in the sky tonight, you both seem a little lighter. You've finished up your bottle of wine and slowly sunk into sitting on the floor. It's more comfortable as your conversation turns into chatting about anything and everything. At one point one of Mark's cats wanders to the balcony door to peer out at him and it steers your conversation towards pets.
By the time you both exhaust all your questions and commentary, sleeply lounging around together in comfortable silence now, your phone shows it's nearly five am. The sky is starting to lighten even as you sit leaning against the railing, back to your view, with Mark facing you and hug your arms around yourself. He slipped out of the hoodie he'd thrown on over his t-shirt an hour ago and you find yourself wrapped in the scent of him, something clean and fresh and simple, as he groans and stretches.
"That's probably my cue to get inside."
You smile when he stands, offering you a hand.
"I think the sun wants us gone."
He laughs as you stretch and scoop your phone up off the chair, each gathering your cups. You make sure to collect the bottle and turn offer him a wave.
"Thank you for the sweater. I'll get it back to you after we've both had at least a few hours of sleep."
He just grins and shakes his head. "I'm not in a rush, I know where to find you."
You nod and hold your hand out over the fence to bump his fist.
"See you around neighbour. Thanks for keeping me company last night."
"And this morning."
You feel much lighter as you wave your goodbyes and slip back inside. The headache pounding at your temples is going to demand all of your attention very soon but you don’t dread it as much as you had when you first got home last night.
Jackson's voice is loud when you crawl out of bed hours later to answer the phone currently trying to vibrate its way off of your nightstand.
"Sseunie?"
"Just calling for proof of life. I haven't heard from you in like sixteen whole hours."
You sigh. He's so dramatic.
"I'm alive."
He chuckles as you groan and thank your past self for downing a glass of water and two painkillers before falling asleep. She even managed to remove your makeup so it didn't smear your fresh pillowcase.
"Hungover?" His voice softens. "Do you need me to come over with food and vitamins?"
You smile softly.
"I'm okay. I think I'm just going to shower and go grab some takeout."
If you feel like shit you can't even imagine how the rest of them must be faring.
"Take care of yourself."
He snorts. "I'm fine, and so is Jinyoungie. Yugyeom's being a big baby and Bam tried to take my head off with his spare pillow when I ventured in to wake them up for lunch a few hours ago so they'll be fine too."
You smile softly. That does sound like your friends.
"And Beomie?"
"He's at Jinyoung's nursing the hangover from hell. Last I heard he was being fed crackers and promising never to drink again. He's in good hands."
You run a hand over your face and lean back against your headboard.
"Go give Jinyoungie a hand then. I'll come deal with the babies. Are they at yours?"
Jackson sighs. "I knew you'd say something like that. I'm already on my way with hangover soup and gatorade. Bam's spare key is in the usual spot. Kyeom's on the couch."
"I'm going to shower and grab takeout on the way. I'll be there by the time you and Youngie manage to give Beom-ah another headache."
He wasn't exaggerating. Yugyeom is in the shower when you let yourself into Bambam's apartment and you take your time unpacking everything carefully in the kitchen.
The smell of his favourite foods slowly entices your friend out of his room. He looks as tired as you feel. Hair askew, still rubbing at his eyes. You just hand over the bowl of tom yum and watch as he scans the food and then you, appearing a little more awake now.
"What's the catch here?"
You understand the suspicion.
"Can't I just be a good friend?"
He tilts his head back and forth like it's possible but he isn’t sure he believes that's your only motivation.
"We're all suffering. I figured being miserable with company was better than without."
You step aside as a still-damp Yugyeom makes his way into the kitchen, toweling at his hair groggily.
"Go sweat out your demons. I asked them to make it extra spicy just for you."
Bam snorts but goes to take a seat at the dining table. You let Yugyeom make up a plate before joining them. It's silent for a minute as you all start to eat and you can see the energy returning to their faces.
"Why are you miserable?" Yugyeom asks between bites of chicken. "You left so early. You're barely even hungover."
You just smile at him and shake your head.
"I might have done some solo drinking at home."
He eyes you like he’s not sure whether he wants to ask, but of course does it anyway.
"Jaebeom hyung type drinking alone? or the fun kind?"
You scrunch your nose and sip your hydration drink. "Not quite that level of wallowing but... not exactly the fun kind either. I had a little unexpected company that made it not so bad."
BamBam perks up at this. "Male company?"
You sigh. "Not like that."
He’s latched onto your reluctance and you know you’re not getting out of today unscathed. That was your first mistake.
"What was it like then?"
"It was... I don't know. Feeling a little less stupid and lonely about my choices lately?"
Yugyeom just shakes his head.
"You finally decide to stop chasing after that heartbreak?"
You roll your eyes at him. "I think so. I'm trying anyway."
He nods, not even looking up from his food.
"Good. It sucks being in the middle of you two always fucking each other up."
"Or just fucking each other." BamBam throws in.
"That too. I don't think I can unsee or unhear some things."
"Oh your poor little ears. You'll live."
Both men share a grin. You point at them.
"Say it and I'm letting him deal with you both next time."
They cackle and double over in laughter but thankfully not a single imitation of you moaning Jaebeom's name slips through anyone's lips.
"I'm getting new friends."
Yugyeom leans in, head on your shoulder as he slides one long arm over the back of your chair.
"You can't get rid of us. You like us too much."
"Debatable." You plant your palm on his forehead and push.
"We're too cute." He tries again.
"Getting closer."
He tugs you in until you're pressed against his side.
"We're incredibly annoying but you hate us less than talking to strangers and being vulnerable all over again. Also, we're very stubborn so good luck with getting us to leave you alone."
You point your chopticks at him. "Ding ding ding, we have a winner."
"Rude."
You crack a smile at his mock-offense and the way he can't hold back his grin.
"Okay, okay. I love you sometimes."
You concede. He just giggles and lets you go, going back to chowing down on his meal.
"Speaking of new friends," BamBam wiggles his eyebrows at you. "How's getting to know that cute guy next door?"
"Mark?"
He shrugs. "The one we saw on our way out last week?"
You nod. "That's him."
"Yeah, tell me about this one."
"Bam there's nothing to say. He's my neighbour. He seems nice. We're not friends. I barely know the first thing about him."
Until today that is.
"Okay. So how do we go about changing that? Because you, my friend, need to hit that."
You just groan and bury your head in your hands.
"I am so not talking about this with you."
Yugyeom just looks between you both like he's watching a tennis match.
"Can I meet him next?"
"None of you are meeting him ever again."
"Why not? I want a new friend."
You do not manage to talk Yugyeom out of walking you home after dinner. Not even while you wipe down Bam's kitchen together and clean up the mess they left last night. Thankfully Mark is nowhere to be found and your tall friend heads home looking dejected after using up every excuse to linger half an hour longer than necessary after dropping you back at your apartment.
You don’t know how long keeping him away again is going to last but at least you have one more night of peace to look forward to before he really locks in on it.
