this is gonna be long, but i want to explain why i think mike wheeler is gay
we all know mike is queer, i'm not gonna try to prove that he wants to kiss boys (because duh), i want to look at the things that indicate mike is specifically gay, not bi - the relevant difference being, in mike's case, attraction to women. in my opinion, the show is full of evidence that points to mike's specific brand of queerness being not only attraction to men but also lack of attraction to women. (which is why i'm writing this, i just think there's so much textually in the show that backs it up) i'm mostly going to focus on his dynamic with el, but i want to make it really clear first that i love el, and i believe mike really does love el too, just not in the way he thinks he should. his arc is about realizing that the love he feels for el is not romantic (while the love he feels for will is).
romantic ambivalence towards el
this has been rehashed so much since the season 4 monologue, but the way mike talks about el when they first find her in the woods, about sending her back to the asylum, handing her over to mike's parents, and getting her out of the way so they could focus on will, and then later calling her a weapon and using her to find will... this is not love. obviously
he starts feeling protective over her when she confides in him that she's in real danger - mike is naturally protective, he’s the paladin of the group, and because she's under his care, he feels responsible for her safety, defending her even from dustin and lucas. he develops a bond with her. however... nothing about this is romantic. the duffers compare their relationship dynamic this season to elliot and E.T., but alongside mike, the audience is told (by everyone except mike himself... he can never seem to get the words out. more on that later) that mike likes eleven... so we start to believe it
there are so many analyses of mike being the one targeted by the homophobic bullies (and we know why - mike is queer). but more than that, the very first time the idea of mike and eleven as a romantic pair is introduced in the show, the scene is interrupted by the homophobes. while lucas is imitating mike professing his love to eleven, troy show ups and starts talking about will, using homophobic language to provoke the party, particularly mike, and then tripping mike as he tries to get away from them. it's the juxtaposition of these two ideas: mike being teased by his friends for possibly liking el vs. mike facing homophobic bullying
anyway, before the bullies show up, when Lucas starts teasing mike about the way he's been acting with el, mike doesn't get it (and he continues not to get it throughout the series... this is a theme), and lucas has to spell it out for him. it's so obvious mike, you like her.
a few episodes later though, lucas actually calls bullshit on himself -
"you like that a girl's not grossed out by you."
it's not that either of them actually like each other but, as lucas says, and as is repeated by mike and others several times, "she's like a stray dog." they're both using each other, mike to find will, and el for safety and protection (not that this is necessarily bad on either of their parts, it's just not romantic)
later, almost immediately after finding out about el, nancy asks mike if he likes her. (a boy and a girl? oh, they must like each other.) mike's response is a very adamant "ew, no, gross."
this scene is interesting to me because you could take it several ways: nancy lies about not liking jonathan, so then mike lies about not liking eleven... (which is still fine, he may think he does at this point) but i actually think it's more than that. season 3 shows us a mike that associates growing up with liking girls. and before eleven, mike hasn't ever liked a girl. at this point, he's still in the mindset that it's okay for him to not like girls "yet." and if he tells the truth so vehemently that nancy must think he's lying... he's probably ok with that (lucas is right, he likes that a girl's not grossed out by him... and he likes the idea of other people thinking that too... maybe it makes him feel like he's growing up, or like other people think he's growing up. idk though that's just speculation).
soon after this scene with nancy is the scene where mike tells el that when this is all over, she can move into his house and his parents will take care of her. genuinely... he was imagining his family adopting her... his sister would be her sister, his parents would be her parents, she could even have his old bedroom
and then she asks if that means he would be her brother... and he realizes something's not right (honestly though i don't think he even understands where it went wrong at this point).
he was feeling a protective big brother type of love for this scared, lost kid he found in the woods, but when everyone started assuming he "liked" her, it all started getting confused in his head. he assumes he must like her, because he's been conditioned his whole life to think that's just what happens (it's classic comp het!!!)
you could argue that he did really have a crush on el, but just never fell in love with her, but i think the far more logical, narrative based explanation for it is compulsory heterosexuality and internalized homophobia... he was told by all his friends and family that he must have feelings for this girl, so he believed them and tried to act accordingly.... but here's the thing. he has never ever gotten the hang of it
extreme discomfort with expressing romantic feelings toward el
mike's storyline in season 4 was entirely centered around his inability to have an open, honest conversation with his girlfriend. specifically, a conversation about their feelings toward each other. honestly, it's about time el called mike out for this. ever since their first kiss in season 1, every time he has had a moment alone with el, (except for their makeout scenes in s3 i guess... but he's kissed her to avoid using his words before. their first kiss.) mike has tried, struggled, and ultimately failed to voice his romantic intentions or inclinations toward el. (and if we know one thing about mike..... he hates lying)
it's such a pattern that it seems obvious to me that the nature of mike's feelings toward el have not changed over the course of their relationship. even the first time, when he tries to explain that he wouldn't be like her brother because..... that would be weird. why, mike?
he is talking around telling her that he likes her, which... fair enough, honestly. he's hinting at it and trying to get her to understand, and i mean, it's hard to tell someone you like them. and like, he's 12. this is fine
but it's about the context. and it's about the pattern
mike is constantly trying to explain how he feels about el, but he keeps putting it in a romantic framework, and that's his problem. it isn't romantic. it never has been. so he can never find the right words, because the ones he thinks are supposed to fit don't feel right, and mike doesn't want to lie to el. friends don't lie
this discomfort also extends to other expressions of romance, like kissing
🧍🏻
yes, he makes out with her a lot in season 3, but like... he's in way too deep at that point. this is heteronormativity and comp het at it's peak. el is his girlfriend (and they're months into their relationship atp), he's a 14yo boy with a heterosexual facade to keep up, and like, kissing is a fun way to pass the time... (it's better than spending it idk talking and finally getting to know each other, right?) and there's also that drawing of will behind her and the way he moves her hands away like he doesn't want her to touch him... idk seems kinda gay to me
......and then there's this
just like in the season 1 scene, with lucas' teasing cut short by the bullies, it's about the juxtaposition. mike's scene with will, followed by an intimate jancy moment, and then this. el kissing mike while he stands (eyes open) in front of a closet (in will's room), the light inside it lit up over his head. i really think this scene is a big moment in mike's realization of what he's feeling, and what he has been feeling. (one of many... he is just constantly being struck with how gay he is in season 4) the coding of this scene cannot just be about mike simply not having romantic feelings for el specifically, (or about it having started as a real crush that just didn't develop further or something). his absolute indifference to el, a girl (the girl he supposedly likes), kissing him is what is making him realize his queerness... which means that part of his queer revelation is disinterest in girls. they're showing us with every narrative technique in the book that mike doesn't have romantic feelings toward girls.
truly, what is this about if it's not mike projecting... what else could this mean (yes, sure, it could mean a lot of things, and maybe they really did mean it more like "yet," but they chose this line. it's way too on the nose to not mean this: mike doesn't like girls.)
it's about a lot more than el. she just happens to be the unfortunate one in the role of "mike wheeler's girlfriend" (she truly deserves so much more). throughout season 3 we're shown over and over again mike's romantic ineptitude with el. lucas, still assuming mike's romantic feelings toward her, spends a good amount of time this season literally walking mike through how to interact with his girlfriend. mike simply doesn't get it. still.
it doesn't feel natural to mike to have a girlfriend, he doesn't want to pursue el romantically, so he has no idea how to act.
i fully believe that lucas has been doing this for mike since the beginning of their relationship. he teased mike about being with el before the movie double date, mike presumably having confided in lucas about his relationship, and vice versa. mike has definitely been taking intensive notes from lucas.
and this isn't just mike being romantically inept in general. his relationships with el and will continuously parallel and contrast each other. (their fights and mike's reactions, for example) and in season 4, with no help from anyone, mike flirts so naturally with will. like he can't help it.
but with el, he's been forcing it since day one.
in real life, obviously things are wayyyy more complicated: relationships, gender, sexuality, all of it. but this is a fictional show that is telling a specific story, and so when i put together all of the narrative evidence from his entire relationship with el (especially when comparing it to will), it seems clear to me that the story stranger things is telling is not about a bi kid confused about his feelings between a girl he sort of likes and a boy he loves; it's about a boy realizing, through the constant juxtaposition of his relationships with a girl and a boy, both of whom he truly cares about, that he actually likes the boy and not the girl. aka, he's gay.
indifference toward other women
there's so much more in their relationship i could point to (other character/relationship parallels, heavy platonic/familial coding, etc), but i'll move on from el. honestly, i'm almost done though... mike doesn't really even interact with any other girls on the show that aren't adults and/or related to him. unless i missed something, the only other girl mike actually interacts with is max.
and istg they are the most platonic just look at them
but seriously, max's whole introduction into the show was primarily contrasting dustin and lucas' positive reaction to her with mike's negative/indifferent one. mike is a complex character with lots of little feelings, but i agree with most of the analysis i've seen about this: mike resents max's presence initially because it reminds him that he doesn't actually like girls in the way that his friends do, that what he has with el is not the same sort of first crush romance that he wants to pretend it is, the kind his friends are actually experiencing now. he sees max, and he sees the way dustin and lucas look at max and... he doesn't get it.
he doesn't like el (his love interest and girlfriend) he doesn't like max, (the only other girl his age he's even been on screen with), he's never shown interest in talking about, looking at, or pursuing any other girls. but... he is in love with his boy best friend. he did smile incredibly dreamily at eddie in the cafeteria. he does have more than one poster of a buff shirtless man on his bedroom wall.
i don't want to go on a bunch of tangents about minute details so i'll end the actual analysis here. i think those are the most important and relevant points. if you've read this far i appreciate you.
here's a couple more random things i consider gay mike subtext
the way his friends react vs the way mike reacts to a girl almost undressing in front of them
you're seeing this, right?
(should i make a post about all the shots of will over mike's shoulder?)
i know this isn't about mike liking boys but. look at him.
mike wheeler... i know what you are
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