ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ

[byprcxy-blog]

look at me trying to be productive here

[hamndgirig]

                         SHE DOESN’T TALK MUCH. eyes flicker down to the glowing tip of the cigarette, as a slender finger taps the accumulation of ash from it down onto the ground. i’m just a freak. that’s all. a freak and a pain in the ass for most officials. you have no idea how mentally handicapped i could be if push comes to shove. if her life wasn’t a fucking rats’ nest, she wouldn’t have had to deal with bjurman, or zalachenko, or teleborian.

                                                                             ‘  why?  ’

[byprcxy-blog]

                            WHY, the first word she decided to speak and it was questioning his own opinion. not that he couldn’t blame her for it, most people questioned why matthew thought the way he did. with his stay at a psychiatric hospital, one would think he would want to be normal just to not end back up there. he did that for a little while, but towards the end he wanted to pull his hair out of his head and scream in people’s faces. if being normal was suppressing what a person truly was, he would only do it when it mattered. and it didn’t matter all the time.

                                                         ❝ if i have to not be myself to be normal, then it’s just blending in with the rest of the sheep. there’s nothing interesting about that. ❞

[spcbxtanist-blog]

     ❝ That’s very INSIGHTFUL && not at all predictable. I hope you know that it’s unhealthy                 to keep that blockage in your ears     Have you ever considered an extraction? ❞

[byprcxy-blog]

       ❝ I have -- but it seems to go all the way to my brain. I like to think it’s gone that deep because of               the number of idiots in the world trying to force their own facts into everyone’s head. ❞

[yayforme-deactivated20171222]

          Okay. Fuck this guy. Matthew was going to play it off like he hadn’t drugged him. Tom reached for the glass of water, thanking him before taking a greedy sip; his mouth was feeling rather dry. “To be honest, I feel like shit. Like I’ve been drugged.” He eyed him, eyes hardened – but there was still a hint of amusement glistening in them. “I must have had way too much to drink last night, but I can’t seem to remember.” He brushed his fingers through his sandy blond hair. The ball was in Brown’s court now. If the other didn’t address it, Tom was going to tear him a new one until he got the truth. Usually, he didn’t pry, but this situation was different. 

[byprcxy-blog]

           He knew he had moments where he could ignore the tension in the air, where he could completely overlook what was meant in favor of what was being said. That got him in trouble more often than not so he tried to avoid mistakes like that. Hearing the other’s words, he was tempted to go along with them drinking too much. But when he looked at Tom and saw how the man glared at him, he knew that was to see how he would react. Matthew liked Tom. He didn’t want to lose the man as a companion, or even as a friend. But if the other knew that he was lying if he went along with that . . . things had a chance of being fucked up worse than they were. A moment was taken for him to think, lips pressing together after as he turned to face the man. ❝ It feels like you were drugged because I did give you something. ❞

[yayforme-deactivated20171222]

      Tom shifted as the other moved to put his head in his lap, balancing his laptop on one knee. He was decent at multitasking, so he moved to stroke Matthew’s hair as he continued reading the chapter. He painted a macabre picture of the murder scene, filling it with both the beauty and grace that Matthew provided in his description. There was still something off-putting about it; Tom did not want to romanticize it too much. He cleared his throat. 

     “The noose hung around his neck. He had two choices: he could either choke himself, or let the nails pierce his feet. Balancing atop them was such a difficult task, the small points digging in to the soft flesh of his foot. Lean up to relief tension, choke. One wrong move, and his life would be over. The reality of death had crashed into him like an avalanche, seizing hold of his chest, as terrified eyes gazed upon his captor. Damien could not top this masterpiece before him.”

[byprcxy-blog]

       He smiled once he felt the other’s fingers in his hair, leaning into the touch and shifting on the couch. If anyone were to look at them, they would find it romantic, almost touching. But that was only if they were just looking. If anyone heard what was being read whilst Matthew was enjoying himself like this -- they would find it slightly more disturbing than romantic. The thought of that almost had him laughing, his attention being directed back as the other kept talking. He played out the entire scene in his mind as if it happened just the other day, making sure that the other got every detail right.

        And Tom was good so far. Each chapter he wrote was always good, and the man never hesitated in asking a question when he needed to fill in some minor details. Reaching for the man’s hand as it carded through his hair, Matthew kissed the top of it, opening his eyes to look at him before entwining their fingers together and squeezing.

[imcgo-blog]

“…matthew, you really shouldn’t.” at least, she doesn’t know if she is ready for him to love her. (he really has changed— right down to how he treats emotions.) “…i… don’t understand—”

[byprcxy-blog]

❝ i know . . . ❞ to some extent, it felt as if he was betraying willow for loving her. he would already do everything he could in his power for the woman, but now . . . it wasn’t just devotion. in his own way, he loved her. ❝ i can’t explain it. i just . . . i know i love you. ❞

[carisiisms]

if sonny could, he’d end miggs’ life right then and there — what was the harm in it anyway? he was already locked up here and if he could get rid of one more pain in the ass, he’d be that much more sane for it. or was it insane now? 

no one has come to see him; not his parents, his sisters or anyone from the squad. he’s been here for a few weeks now and he knew this was going to be the rest of his life. chilton would poke and prod him, promising rehabilitation but he knew manipulation when he saw it. he wasn’t going to be his new poster boy or someone he could brag about. 

“ FINE. ” he grumbled as he leaned his head back against the wall, not looking at the other. “ thanks for shuttin’ him up. ”

[byprcxy-blog]

❝ least i could do. ❞ honestly -- it helped more than just sonny out. the rest of the patients were quiet now that miggs was shutting up and the orderlies could have some peace too.

lord knew the number of times he wanted to step in there and smother the man with his pillow. he may be criminally insane. but miggs deserved to be thrown in a padded cell instead of a regular one. and make it soundproof to boot. he wasn’t sure why chilton had the man there or what purpose he served, but he had been tempted to ask a number of times. not that he would get an answer that would suffice from it.

❝ i unplugged the mics for now. how’s chilton been treating you? ❞

[devilsxson-archived-deactivated]

         “ You can think whatever the fuck you want. If you’re crossin’ the street and you don’t believe the car is real    wanna bet if it’ll hit you? ” it’s a brute comparison, but well, he is a brute after all “ Blindness don’t make you safe    ” he comes out as pissed off, talking through an unlit cigarette in his mouth and struggling with the lighter “ just makes you fuckin’ blind ”. 

[byprcxy-blog]

            ❝ You talk as if you’ve got proof on you. ❞ Of things that don’t exist. Of things that shouldn’t exist. Matthew had seen a lot in his life, but it had all been real and tangible. He treated stories of the supernatural the same as he treated the thought of aliens being out there in the world. It was interesting, and there were some people that believed in them, but that didn’t make it real.

[byprcxy-blog]

SORRY I WASN’T ON HERE YESTERDAY . . . or today . . . matthew’s being overpowered by a muse i’ve had for a lot longer. if you want to find me, i’ll be over there.

[byprcxy-blog]

for all of you guys that want to know where i am if i’m not on matty, go over here.

[byprcxy-blog]

matthew will be here later in the day. right now another muse basically has him hogtied to be quiet

[byprcxy-blog]

STARTER CALL

[plasticdynasty]

Difficult Questions for Muses

[wieldlies-deactivated20160504]

plasticdynasty:

(Please remember to use trigger warnings as and when necessary)

Do you think that you’re a good person?

Do others like you? Do you want others to like you?

What do you think others like or admire about you?

How do you know when you’re in love? (romantic or platonic)

Would you or have you ever killed? What would drive you to kill? 

Do you think that killing is ever justified?

Have you ever done anything that you feel to be very morally wrong?

Should all people be treated as equal, and have the same rights?

If you committed a crime, would you accept punishment willingly?

Is suicide ever the right choice?

Is euthanasia ever the right choice?

Is it right to have an intimate relationship with somebody you don’t love?

What could make you break your own moral code? 

Have you ever doubted your own beliefs? (Spiritual, philosophical)

Would you always be loyal to your loved ones even if they wronged you?

What would you consider a fate worse than death?

Why do you love the person or people you love? (romantic or platonic)

Do you agree with capital punishment?

Could you ever forgive your worst enemy?

What would you like to achieve before you die?

[byprcxy-blog]

@imcgo

❝ . . . i love you. ❞

[byprcxy-blog]

@devilsxson

               ❝ I don’t believe in anything I can’t see. I’ll find things interesting and maybe even like them -- but that doesn’t mean I think they’re real. ❞

[hamndgirig]

                                        BECAUSE NORMAL PEOPLE are left alone. because normal people aren’t mistaken for protestors and beaten by the police, or strapped to a bed for three hundred and seventy one days, or force-fed drugs. but she does not strike anyone as normal, and she does not attempt to be. there’s a response on the tip of her tongue, something scathing, something wry, something that’s considered for a long pause before she offers only an apathetic shrug and a drag of her cigarette.

[byprcxy-blog]

                                       ironic as it was, silence could say just about as much as any one sentence could, especially in regards to what was normal and what wasn’t, and whether that was good or not. even though matthew was one of the many that had to hide in plain sight so attention wouldn’t be drawn to him, he loathed every second he had to fake being NORMAL. but not all people were like that. apparently she didn’t think the same way. ❝ i’m guessing you disagreed with me? ❞

[aluminummonster-blog1]

                 Dee’s used to living in Dennis’ shadow, usually if anyone remembered her, it was because of HIM— ‘ Ohhh you’re Dennis’ sister, right ?? ’. Or because of the fact that she had to wear that horribly embarrassing back brace while she was in high school… Dennis’ sister && the Aluminum Monster— her two && she disliked BOTH of them. But Matthew had never met her twin, never seen her with the back brace… Why wouldn’t he remember her ?? Because people rarely did. Or she was just that ‘ rude chick ’, which was almost worse…. 

                 “ It was just a long time ago. ” A shrug. “ I know I try not remember anything about it… ” It’s the truth, one of the many things that Dee does not like to talk about is her time in the institution. It was her most protected secret && she’s unsure if even Mac && Charlie know… They probably did, it was likely that Dennis told them, but for the most part, the Reynolds family came up with a cutesy little cover story to explain their daughter’s absence— ‘ She’s doing volunteer work in Mexico, we’re so proud !!  ’ ( Ha, like Barbara would ever be PROUD of her… ) She’ll nod, that’s nothing she hasn’t heard before. “ He likes to skip meals too…. He’ll go days without eating if you don’t keep an eye on him. ” It feels almost WRONG to say, like she’s betraying him… “ Wanna get me a job ?? ” She’s joking, mostly, but Dee really didn’t fit in anywhere besides in close proximity of her brother… 

[byprcxy-blog]

                Great, the guy was going to be more of a problem than he was already. He was going to need to be watched during every meal to make sure he was eating, and if he didn’t eat willingly, some of the nurses there were known to force feed if they were adamant enough against it. After that, most patients would eat more than their share just so they wouldn’t have to go through it again. He’d make sure Dennis didn’t have to go through that . . . or, at least, have a good enough seat to the show.

                 ❝ Most people that stay at these places once in their life rarely want to get a job working at one. ❞ Matthew was out of the ordinary and he fit in fairly well. Or, at least, he could act like he fit in. But he wasn’t sure if Dee working there would be the best for anyone. He hadn’t seen her in so long, and things could have changed, but with the way she behaved at the institution until near the end of her stay, she would probably be fired within the week. It was difficult dealing with some of the patients as they were, and took a lot of either getting used to or a lot of patience. But of she could adapt, then he wouldn’t complain. ❝ If you’re looking, I think there are a few positions. Don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there aren’t a lot of female nurses around here. ❞