about me:
korean-american | 19 | she/her | wannabe writer & theatre kid at heart
music lover: the 1975, the beatles, oasis, beabadoobee, charli xcx, the strokes, mcr, p!atd, fob
movie lover: challengers, 20th century women, lady bird, anna karenina
show lover: (currently) american horror story and peacemaker
i write for:
art, tashi, patrick, clark kent, adrian chase, other mike faist chracters, and evan peters characters
masterlist - requests are open!
recent: get ptsd on the daily - julian d. x reader
as an intense 75girlie, i think patrick pretends to listen to the 1975 but doesn’t really give a shit about them, he thinks it gets him into more girls’ pants tho,,,
art on the other hand probably cries to the 1975… he gets really serious about them
sorry for not being so active guys, i just really lost a lot of motivation for finishing nobody’s son and i have another exam coming up soon… i hope to finish it by may?? tbh, i’ve joined new fandoms and stuff so i might start a new blog for that but whatever…
pairing: julian dillinger x reader
in which: julian promised not to hurt anyone and you trusted him not to go that far, but when eve returns to encom headquarters, you realize you couldn’t have been more wrong.
cw: angst, uses of y/n, follows the movie plot, julian is vulnerable, 1 use of baby
word count: 2.2k
tags (comment to be added :D): @materialgirl-97, @evesdust, @chewbeca123
you rub your eyes for what seems like the millionth time this time, cracking your knuckles as you write yet another email to a shareholder.
but what are you to complain, the head of operating and corporate partnership of encom finally has something to do!
even if that's assuring all of your shareholders that encom is okay and just because your game launch was hijacked doesn't mean that everything is in shambles, and that it's an easy fix.
it's really not, but what can you tell them?
that julian dillinger, ceo of dillinger systems and the man you hook up with occasionally, hacked and destroyed most of your server because in search of some code that was practically a myth until two days ago?
dear, ms. armiah,
we received your concerns about the recent launch and appreciate you reaching out directly. encom's leadership team has been closely monitoring the situation and–
you look up mid-sentence to see the elevator doors opening. your eyebrows furrow in confusion, everyone's gone home by now, who's coming into work at... nine? ten pm?
you stand up and step out of your desk.
"eve?" you say in confusion as eve comes out of the elevator with seth and... him? it? and your eyes widen even more.
"hi, god– uh- y/n, this is–" she starts.
"ares," you finish, "why is– ares here?"
"you know ares?" eve eyes you suspiciously.
"i–" you shrug, "uh- read it in a file," you mumble.
"two minutes, fifty seconds," ares reminds from the back.
"right," eve shakes her head, "right, seth, can you work with that?"
"yeah- yeah- yeah," seth nods, "don't need help, guys."
seth begins to set up the particle laser in a hurry as eve speaks in hushed tones to ares about the permanence code and flynn's grid– what was going on?
"eve- what-" you gesture towards seth.
eve turns to you, "uhh– in a nutshell, dillinger kidnapped me, tried to kill me for the peremenance code, i teamed up with his ai program, and we have–"
"–one minute–" ares says.
"–one minute, to get ares in flynn's grid from the 80's so he can get the code, before–"
"–eve, we're all set," seth interrupts.
she turns away from you, "okay, all set!"
ares stands in front of the particle laser as seth and eve finalize final details. but you can't focus on what they're saying, dillinger, kidnapped, tried to kill? her words spin in your head, your stomach drops.
'i'd never hurt anyone.' bullshit.
you drag your hands over your face until you hear panicked voices.
"athena, she's here," ares announces.
"seth, the laser!" she calls out, you turn around to see seth's fingers speeding over the keyboard.
you look out the window, "what the fuc-"
a woman, athena, glowing red, hovering on a jetpack– thing– doesn't matter, stares you down. a program, like ares.
"firing up the laser," seth looks up in concern, "what's she doing?"
"she's waiting for me to timeout so she can come for you," ares states.
"ares, move in front of the laser!" eve yells.
"change of plans," he shakes his head, moving to jump at her.
at the same time, he's sucked into the new grid. athena stays. watching.
then she flies up and disappears.
"wow, that worked," seth exclaims.
the old retro computer blinks, transfer complete.
you’ve never been so confused about what’s happening. your eyes dart between the two of them, then to the suspiciously empty space beyond the window.
"he's inside," eve nods.
everyone tenses as the whirling of a jetpack speeds towards the glass.
"move!" eve shouts, you don't have to be told twice.
you run towards the right, following eve behind a desk as glass shatters and furniture crashes around you.
"jesus christ," you whisper.
athena steps through the ruined office slowly then slices through the particle laser, rendering it useless. beside you, eve yelps. you don’t breathe as athena walks towards you both.
"shit," you curse, fear crawling up your stomach.
"time to get back to the grid," athena says as she powers her own particle laser gun.
suddenly, seth jumps in front of her, "leave her alone!"
but athena shoves him, his body falling like a ragdoll against the floor of the other side of the room. your eyes widen, as you glance at him. unconscious or maybe...
no. focus.
you tell yourself as you get up and crawl with eve, avoiding the female program. you need to do something. you take a deep breath, you stand up and spread your arms out. shielding eve.
"don't touch her," you say.
athena turns to you, stiff. calculated. she tilts her head, eyes narrowing at you.
“y/n. the head of operating and corporate partnership of encom.” she notes. “neutral, not to be hurt.”
she pushes you to the side, not enough to hurt but enough to get you out of the way. it’s careless— like a sliding chair in her path.
if you weren’t neutral, she wouldn’t have hesitated at all.
you glance at eve, her eyes meet yours before looking away.
your breath catches as athena moves closer, eve sprints and crawls under the rows of arcade games which athena knocks over like it weighs nothing.
what is this? terminator?
then, eve is corned. you hold your breath, not sure whether to run between them or not.
“you’re very persistent, eve,” she states coldly before pointing her particle gun at eve.
but before the lasers can turn on, the sprinklers activate, water falling overhead, drenching your clothes like rain.
athena freezes, staring at her hand in… confusion.
then she screams as she crumbles away in dust particles. timed out. thank god.
you finally feel like you can breathe again. you rush over to eve, helping her up. “are you okay?”
“seth—“ she shakes her head, running to his unconscious body. she runs over to shake his shoulders, thankfully, his eyes open. you both sigh in relief.
“she’s going to come back,” you mutter.
“we need to fix the laser,” eve says suddenly.
“what?” you and seth say at the same time.
“we need to bring ares back here and we can’t do that unless we fix the laser,” she explains, running her hand a through her hair as she crouches down next to it.
the elevator opens, ajay and erin freeze, “what happened to our office?” ajay blinks at the state of the place.
“no time to explain,” she huffs, “look, if the dillingers transported me into their server by reversing the direction of a particle laser—“
“—then you can reverse this one to get ares out.” you finish.
“what are you talking about?” ajay walks towards where seth and eve are attempting to fix the laser. “that’s impossible.”
“ajay, i’ve been kidnapped, transported into a complex world, an ai literally tried to kill me and she destroyed our office.”
“ok,” ajay cups his mouth in thought, “and we need to fix this because—“
“—dillinger’s rogue program is stuck inside flynn’s grid.” eve finishes.
“this is insane.”
you nod in agreement.
“so, you’re telling me, we need to reverse the particle laser to retrieve dillinger’s rogue program while dillinger’s other program that tried to attack you, is coming to get you?” erin crosses her arms. “exactly how did she try to attack you?”
“well, she threw seth and tried to shoot a particle gun at me— but- but, she spared you,” eve turns her head to you. suddenly, everyone’s eyes are on you now.
“she didn’t… spare me-“ you try to explain, laughing awkwardly.
“she marked you as neutral,” eve recalls.
“why would she do that?” ajay frowns, “she wouldn’t have done that unless—“
“—unless dillinger marked you.” erin stares at you accusingly.
“did you know about this?” ajay demands.
“no!” you argue, “i mean— some of it, but not all of it!”
he shakes his head in disbelief, “have you been telling him stuff?”
“i would never do that-“
“oh my god, that’s why you’re always gone,” erin gasps.
“no— well, yes, but i haven’t betrayed encom. i just- knew about ares, that’s all—“
“did you know he would hack our server?” ajay’s eyes narrow at you in suspicious.
“guys, c’mon, we have more important things to deal with,” you mutter impatiently, nails digging into your arms.
“answer the question,” he snaps.
you roll your eyes, “i didn’t know he’d do that, i just…”
“just?”
“may have accidentally implied that we found the permanence code.”
“jesus christ,” erin whispers.
there’s a silence, seth doesn’t look up from where he’s attempting to retire the particle laser.
“get out,” ajay says after a while.
“what?”
“get out, we can’t risk having a mole right now.”
the words cut you like a knife, your arms tighten around you. “you can’t be serious right now, ajay. eve?”
“even if this isn’t your fault, we can’t trust you right now. let’s— make things easier, we’ll talk about this when it’s over. but for now,” she pauses, meeting your eyes. “you should go.”
you huff, looking at all of them, everyone’s expression’s are a mix of hurt and confusion. you don’t have anything to say to them, and so you leave. slowly walking out of the office and going down the elevator.
when you reach the lobby, your hand trembles as it reaches for your phone in your pocket. you take a deep breath as you walk out onto the street, dialing his number like a reflex. you exhale as you click the green call button.
“hello?” he answers, his voice tight and upset. “y/n, i really don’t have time for this—“
“oh yeah, because you’re too busy kidnapping my ceo and using your program destroy encom hq? what the hell is wrong with you? you said you’d never hurt anyone, julian. what is your problem?” you rant, running your fingers through your hair.
“i—“
“no, no- listen to me,” you don’t let him speak, “i’m getting fired for what we did, okay? and i find out that you’ve been— i dunno, going fucking insane and setting off all this crazy shit for a permanence code? you need to stop, you’ve gone way too far-“
you pause, hearing labored breaths on the understand. then a sob.
no.
he’s not crying? he never cries—
you freeze, your voice revealing your concern, “julian?”
“i— fuck-“ he gasps, breaths shuddering. “are you okay? are you safe?”
“julian, what happened?”
julian seems to try to control his breaths, “you need to- get out of the city— okay? it’s not safe, not when— not when athena’s- god.” his voice breaks, “i told— i programmed them to not hurt you, but- you could get hurt- and i can’t have you get hurt too— okay?”
“julian,” you say more sternly, “what happened?”
“my mom—“ he inhales again, sharper, “athena— she-“
“oh god, julian,” you sigh. “are you okay? do i need to come—“
“no,” he interrupts sharply. “you don’t understand, you need to leave the city. you’re going to get hurt.”
“julian-“
“get in your car and drive out of the state or— as far as you can go, okay?”
“julian,” you shake your head, “they’re going to come after you.”
“i know. trust me, i know,” he says solemnly. “i just need to know you’re safe. please— just do this for me. i’ll call you, if— if i can. i’ll call you.”
you’re about to protest but then you see a red glow in the far distance, your eyebrows furrow and your eyes squint. “is that a fucking recognizer? from— from, space paranoids?”
julian’s breath hitches, “baby, you need to go. please, i need to know you’re safe.” he takes a deep breath, "don't hang up until you get into your car."
and for the first time, you find yourself listening to him.
"i'm in my car."
"okay, okay..." he pauses, "okay, now get the hell out of here, i'll... figure it out, don't worry about me."
how can you be anything but?
you don't even have anything to feel guilty about it anymore. not a company, not a title, a role. just him.
"julian-"
"go, drive. please."
and you hear that soft bleeps that he's hung up.
so you press your foot against the accelerator, watching the red light get farther and farther away. you bite your lip, clicking on the radio, anything to distract you from whatever the hell is going on.
all of this for a stupid fucking code.
the leather of the handle seems to dig into your skin as the buildings blur behind you. only now does it seem like people have notice the giant battleship rapidly approaching the city.
the radio crackles uselessly, voices blurring together, you don't hear any of it. you're supposed to leave. you're leaving. it's what he wants.
but the turn signal clicks on anyway.
you barely notice it until the car is already slowing, your chest tight, breath shallow, heart beating like it's trying to argue with you. he needs you.
"fuck," you mumble, more to yourself than anything else.
you swing the car around, the red light growing brighter instead of fading. whatever he's about to do, you're not letting him face it without you.
not like this.
note: thank you for reading again and sticking through all my writer's block. i have a feeling the next part's going to be shorter, but anyway, i hope you guys enjoyed :)
part 1 - series masterlist - masterlist
pairing: julian dillinger x reader
in which: when julian dillinger crashes encom's new game launch, you begin to wonder if this whole "arrangement" between both of you, is just a grand scheme for him to get what he really wants: the permanence code.
cw: angst, slight fluff ig?, reader being really into julian (in the start), bickering and arguing, connected to the canon story, making out/kissing, julian being manipulative, julian and reader get emotional...
word count: 2.8k
tags (comment to be added :D): @materialgirl-97, @evesdust, @chewbeca123
the crowd is buzzing, thousands of devoted encom fans waiting in anticipation for the launch event to start. you stand in the sidelines, ajay and erin mumbling next to you as they call and text eve, over and over again.
“i don’t she’s coming,” you finally say, checking your wristwatch. “there’s only three minutes until we have to start.”
ajay sighs and mutters something under his breath. “whatever— fine, we’ll just… launch the new game without our ceo.” he says sarcastically.
“maybe they don’t have signal in alaska?” erin offers.
“it’s alaska, not mars,” ajay deadpans.
spotlight hits the stage as the announcer comes out, "space paranoids fans, are you ready?" multiple loud cheers and whoops come from the audience, "put your hands together for encom's cto, anjay singh! get loud!"
"showtime," you muse with a soft chuckle.
"it's cowboy time," ajay says as he puts a horrendous cowboy hat on his head.
erin immediately pulls it off his head with a sigh, "oh, no."
ajay shoots her a glare before he runs onto stage with a huge smile. "hello! thank you!" he waves at the audience, "what's up, paranoiacon?"
"he's a natural," you whisper to erin, "the crowd loves him."
"don't say that to his face, it'll get to his head," she shakes her head with a chuckle.
ajay's voice booms, the big glossy screens behind him showing images of encom's games over the years and he crowd roars. you watch from the wings, moments like these remind you of why you do it all, why you work for this company, and what everyone creates-
it's perfect, ajay, the team, every practiced line and video sequence falling into place. now, it was time for the big reveal-
"now, encom is proud to debut the latest version of space paranoids: panic city with the world!"
but instead of cheers, the crowd murmurs, a ripple of confusion washing over them. ajay's smile falters slightly as he watches people whisper and glance at each other. finally, he turns around and his jaw slacks.
your head turns with him, the glossy screen behind him flicker briefly, before lines of white cascade down the main display, red 'error' symbols appearing.
you don't read the full flood, but your eyes catch the final line before it goes black:
init_payload("ARES") ; system.shutdown(*)
the security is calling everyone backstage, ajay shouts a quick "technical difficulties, everyone!" in a forced cheery tone before he runs back.
you're staring in stunned silence and are only snapped out when you feel erin grab your arm and drag you back with the rest of the team.
there was only one person who could pull this off and— you'd left his office only five hours ago.
the office was in shambles, everyone trying to figure out this security breach and fix the code in order to be able to push for a new launch date.
"no- i swear, i double checked the entry code-" someone yells.
"you should've triple checked-"
"i think they got our computers too, i can't fucking open task manager-"
ajay can't stop threading his fingers through his hair, and erin was making several different calls next to him.
"what's going on?" you fake confused distress.
you get up from your desk after staring at your blank screen for the past five minutes, in attempts to figure out what you might've said that caused him to do— all this.
it was a game launch. it couldn't have possibly been because of the... permanence code, right?
"dillinger," ajay groans. "just called him, he's playing stupid- but i know he's acting like this because he thinks-" he drags a hand over his face.
"he thinks? he thinks what?"
"didn't you hear? jesus, erin found the code-" your eyes widen in shock, ajay begins to ramble on and you tune it out.
she found the permanence code?
but all you ever told him was that- that erin was nearly there, not that—
julian's a smart guy, he went to harvard for god's sake. he was a genius even without a fancy college to show for it. he would've figured it out, pieced it together, and-
and hacked the encom systems for her user file.
your stomach drops, but you try to mask it as ajay goes on and on.
"-but i just don't understand why he would hack our systems, the idiot-"
"-where's eve?" you interrupt.
ajay straightens up, glancing at his phone. "she's on her way from alaska, we'll get the code in our hands before dillinger, that's for sure."
you feel sick.
'i'll do anything for it'
his voice rings in your skull— shit.
what if julian does something to her?
he wouldn't hurt eve- he wouldn't.
but if he would crash a launch- just to get a file he isn't sure even exists- what would he not do?
you fake getting a phone call, coughing, "shit- um- phone call from- uh- one of our- shareholders- gonna get it." you don't even wait for a response as you flee the scene.
"hey, is your computer down too?" someone asks you.
"not on the coding team-" you manage to mumble before you shove past them, focused on the door.
you step out into the dark hallway, inhaling the cold air slowly. your throat feels tight and your legs feel like water. "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," you groan.
you pull your phone out of your pocket with shaky hands and click his number.
he picks up after five rings.
"is it call-julian-dillinger day at the office today?" he laughs slightly, "first, ajay, now, you... should i expect a call from- what's-her-name- ajay's assistant?"
"erin?" you grit out in annoyance, the nerve this guy has.
"there it is, that tone," julian chuckles. "should i expect a call from erin now?"
"don't be an asshole, julian."
"having a bad day, sweetheart?" he asks, tone patronizing, it makes your eyes roll. "maybe i should get a room at that hotel you like... order us a bottle of wine-"
"what the hell were you even thinking?" you interrupt, "i mean, you're whole quest on getting the code is a bit ridiculous-"
julian sighs loudly, it sounded like he tossed his phone on to the couch, the clinking of different glasses told you that he was pouring himself a drink. "you sound like my mother."
"well maybe, you should start listening to mommy-"
"don't go there," he mutters stiffly. "look, all i did was what i needed to do-"
"you must be so proud," you snark sarcastically.
"shouldn't i be?" he says it like the sun rises for him.
"of what?" you demand, "of doing something so idiotic that-"
"idiotic?" julian echoes coldly.
"stupid."
"stupid?" you can hear a smile on his face, and you grind your teeth.
"are you trying not to laugh?"
"it's cute when you're mad about things you can't possibly understand," julian says simply.
"enlighten me-"
"unfortunately," he takes a deep breath, "i'm very busy at the moment, sweetheart. ceo duties, y'know? pain in the ass... come over tomorrow." he says it like the decision's already been made.
"you're insane if you think i'll waltz over to you after the feat you pulled-"
"you wanted an explanation, and i can clearly tell that no one in that headquarters of yours is telling you shit, so come over."
ouch. touched a nerve, didn't he?
"go fuck yourself, julian," you respond, hanging up on him.
but deep down, you know your schedule for tomorrow. it's already been arranged. he arranged it.
can the limo be any more ridiculous?
does it have to be this long? is he compensating for something?
it feels like you're being chauffeured to your execution, except you half expect to yell at the executioner and then make out with him.
you can't even believe you're doing this.
especially when eve's been missing since last night? you're insane, you really are. you tell yourself it every time you go and see him.
you list every reason this could get you fired-
company treason? canoodling with the enemy? accidentally pillow-talking classified company information?
yup, you're totally fucked. they should revoke your security clearance purely for how fast you fold when he looks at you.
this time, he's waiting next to the road and helps you out of the car. his eyes tell you that he expected you, because julian dillinger is always right. and you proved this to be right yet again today.
you shouldn't feel butterflies when his hand intertwines with yours. but despite yourself, your pulse jumps. it's humiliating, people are missing, the launch is in ruins, and your career is dangling on a thread... but sure, let's get flustered over some man's stupidly warm hand.
julian seems to be in a good mood. either he's genuinely cheerful, or he's smiling through the stress that makes most people cry. you tune him out as he goes on about something because did he do something to his hair? he has no reason to look this-
right. back to the point. c'mon, be professional.
you can do that. probably. oh god.
when your in his office again after trying not to lose your mind during the whole walk there, he leans against his wall, crowding you.
"now, i know what you're going to ask," julian starts simply, crossing his arms.
you do the same, neutralizing your expression as best as you can, and trying your hardest not to glance at the way his biceps bulge. you raise your eyebrow, "oh yeah, and what's that?"
"why i crashed your precious launch event?" he says it so casually, as if he was talking about groceries or the weather.
you tilt your head, "and you have a good reason for it?"
julian sucks in a breath, "hmm... not a reason you'd be satisfied with, ms. head of operating and corporate partnership..."
you scoff and roll your eyes, "well... it's better than nothing."
he grins, a bit too wide, a bit too smug for your liking. "i needed the permanence code."
"and you were so sure that we had it?" you demand.
"you happened to tell me that your ceo was a step away from finding it and i did the rational thing."
"which is?"
"tracking her location," he remarks as if it's obvious.
"that's not rational-"
he holds a hand up to silence you, he sighs. "i found something really... interesting, to say the least. and judging by your reaction, they haven't told you a thing."
julian retrieves a tablet and shows you the screen.
you squint, it seemed like some sort of tree... fully grown, smack down in the snow.
"this wasn't there 13 hours ago... well, when i checked, it had been there for five hours. a fully grown orange tree, in five hours. that could mean only one thing..."
you look up at him with wide eyes, "permanence."
"of course, kim only told singh while she flew back to the city, ajay told most of the team. you got the short end of the stick, a few hours later," he shrugs. "but i doubt any of them know that she tested it and had proof, nor did she tell you that she was going to flynn's little hideout to find the code. she went mia for a few days, and oh- she's still missing."
your eyes narrow at him, "what are you trying to say?"
"i'm just saying, if she kept all of this under wraps until the last minute... just imagine how much she hasn't told you..." julian taps his fingers in thought against the screen before putting it away. his brown eyes stare into yours and you hate that it's making his argument sound reasonable.
your teeth dig into your lip, sure, maybe eve- and most of the team haven't been telling you things but- this wasn't right was it?
sensing your hesitation, he steps closer to you, his fingers wrapping around your chin, "you need to understand where i'm standing here, not just as the ceo of my company- but just as a guy who wants to innovate the future, just think about how good it would me to have the permanence code. i have been working to find this code even before i became ceo-"
you ignore how close he is and take a deep breath, clearing your thoughts. "you need the code because of ares."
he doesn't deny it, his lips thinning as if he was contemplating what to say. instead, he nods quietly in response.
you can't help but scoff at his response. "and you knew that encom was also looking for the code, were you using me to get inside encom?"
julian huffs as he scrubs his hand over his face, "you think i'd need to?"
"you literally hacked into our system because i accidentally told you that eve may or may not have found the code!"
"it wasn't solely based on what you'd said- i had a hunch that she was after it anyway-"
"-but what i said confirmed it," you interrupt, looking at him expectantly.
he glares at you in response, then finally admits, "sure, it may have affected my decision a bit more," he pause. "but that doesn't mean i'm using you, i mean- be sensible, for god's sake-"
"why are we doing this?"
"what?"
"this! whatever this is!" you say, running your fingers through your hair, "the sex, the cuddling, the dinners, the hotels- all of this. why are we doing this?"
julian opens his mouth to speak but you don't let a word come out of his mouth.
"i mean, you're julian dillinger. you're not into stuff like this- you're not into anything unless it benefits you!"
"is it so hard to believe that i may actually like you?"
now it's your turn to be silent, you stare at him, processing his words.
he sighs heavily, threading his fingers through his curls again before stepping closer to you. you can see every shadow under his eyes, every stress line on his face. for the first time, he looks tired.
heavy hands cups your cheeks, pulling your face towards him, "you think i don't know i'm crossing a line?"
you hold your breath, unsure how to answer him. his eyes search yours for something, concern? maybe even love? you don't know.
you should pull away from him, but you don't.
julian's face inches even closer to yours, you can feel his breath against your cheek as he finally says. "i don't make these choices because i want to, i make them because i need to," he whispers, then after a bit of silence, he speaks again, "i- i just want you to know that- no matter what i do, i'd never hurt anyone. especially not you. i need you to trust me on that, can you trust me?"
"i'd like to," you respond gently, your own hands going to wrap around the back of his neck.
"that would be enough for me."
his eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips before he finally gives in, connecting your lips together. it's softer than yesterday, warmer- sweeter.
he's been drinking again, you can tell because he tastes like beer. your fingers press into his skin, pushing him tighter against you.
and for a while, it's perfect.
you part your lips and his tongue presses between them, but before he can slip it in your mouth, a chime from his desk interrupts you both.
julian reluctantly removes his lips from yours with a sigh and glances over at his screen.
ARES: INCOMING MESSAGE
he clears his throat, "you should go."
you nod slightly, breaths heavy as you fix your hair. "i've been gone too long, it's gotten dark."
"i'll call you," he says, walking over to his desk. "if i have time," he adds. his hand hesitates over the keyboard, a flicker of frustration in his jaw, and something else you can't name.
"yeah, okay," you don't want to leave his side but he's already busying himself with his work. probably trying to distract himself from the tremor in his hands. so you force yourself to turn around and leave him.
"i'll request for a car to take you home-" he starts.
"you don't have to. really, julian," you shake your head, "thank you though."
"if you insist," julian stops typing to stare at you as you leave. his eyes linger longer than they should, enough for those damn butterflies to flutter back.
when the cold air hits your skin again, you wonder just how many more times you were going to do this before it all falls out.
for some reason, that seemed closer than ever. closer than ever to falling apart and closer than ever to something you aren't sure you can survive.
note: thank you for reading again, i had so much fun writing this part. stay tuned!!!
please comment to be added to the taglist!
pairing: julian dillinger x reader
in which: you, a board executive of encom, are supposed to hate julian dillinger, the ceo of dillinger systems– encom's biggest rival. but there's something so satisfying about this secret relationship that keeps on making you go for more...
cw: smut mdni but more plot than porn, reader is female and wears a skirt, 1 use of y/n, making out in office, fingering, p in v, unprotected sex, praise as foreplay, slight size kink if you squint, use of attagirl and good girl
word count: 3.4k
you swore you'd never do this again.
not after last time, not after the deal fell apart, not after the silence that followed
an executive on the board of encom— and julian dillinger? you would lose your job for doing anything that overstepped professionalism and business, but here you were, with said man.
tangled in his sheets
you sit up, still catching your breath and brushing the messy hair out of your face. the silk of the duvet pools around your waist as clarity hits you like a freight train.
all clarity is thrown out the window when a toned arm, inked in circuit board patterns you've traced a hundred time before, wraps around your waist and pulls you back into his warmth.
"stay for a little longer," julian whispers into the crook of your neck, warm lips pressing against your collarbone. "it's not like they'll miss you at encom for another hour."
it was partially true, you only had another debrief in... you glance at the clock, two hours and a half. you press your fingers against his cheek, "that doesn't mean i should go m.i.a, julian." you whisper back, voice still slightly hoarse from moaning.
he hums, eyes closed, leaning into your touch, his grip around your waist is still tight. he just refuses to let you go.
"julian," you chide.
he opens his eyes, his gaze flickering in annoyance. “you don’t even do anything that important anyway,” he mutters. it’s almost childlike in a way, you can’t help but roll your eyes.
“look, i promise to text or— call you tonight…” you try to compromise, “and i’ll see you tomorrow- whenever you have time.”
julian doesn't say anything but his grip on you relaxes slightly. "i'll see if i can clear a bit of my schedule, then." he says nonchalantly, which is translation for 'i don't want you to leave and i want to see you as soon as possible.'
it's sweet, in a julian way, you suppose.
you slide out of his grip, getting up on shaky legs and put on the clothes that were scattered all over the floors of his room. julian is already glaring at an email or a text on his phone and letting out a heavy sigh.
you wonder if it's too much— or not enough— to kiss his cheek goodbye.
you weren't really dating him, but you weren't just fuck buddies either. julian took you out sometimes, he bought you lavish gifts, and you fucked. a lot.
so you opt on a, "bye, julian," instead.
he responds with a distant nod, already typing out some urgent message, the glow of his screen painting face blue.
you step out the doorway, taking the elevator down, slip out the back exit— just in case you're recognized. you've taken this path too many times now, you're sure that you could do it blindfolded.
you can still feel the weight of julian's arm around your waist, his breath warm on the back your neck, the groans that only you've ever heard. you wonder if it's selfish to hope that his eyes left his screen to follow you as you left. but you know that it wasn't possible, julian wasn't the type to hang onto the last sight of a girl anyway.
encom's headquarters looks exactly the same as you left it two hours ago. eve's nowhere to be found, as usual. on the floor, ajay's typing furiously, preparing his script for the launch event tomorrow, while erin leans over his shoulder to critique every line. the rest are glued to their desks, polishing the final build of space paranoids.
you clear your throat and take your seat at the table, deciding to "work" before the meeting with your team.
on your fifth refresh for an email that never comes, ajay acknowledges you without taking his eyes off his screen. "find anything in the archives? any signs of the permanence code?"
as the head of operating and corporate partnership, you haven't had much to do lately. which means ajay and eve keep dumping stacks of drives and files on your desk, hoping you'll stumble across the legendary code that's supposed to fix everything.
your trip to the archives earlier consisted of nothing productive, you'd skimmed through one dusty box of old files, sexted julian, and took a taxi to his penthouse.
but you lie anyway.
"no, not much. but, did you know kevin flynn's favorite flavor of soda is grape?" you shrug, jamming random letters into your keyboard.
"huh, interesting," ajay responds without much interest. "anyway- i wouldn't fret over finding the permanence code anymore."
"why?" you tilt your head to look at him.
"eve said she thinks she knows where it might be."
"really? huh." you nod, thinking of one person who'll be tearing his hair out when he hears. "that's great."
"yeah, she's on the plane to alaska right now."
"alaska?"
"kevin flynn's old station or something," ajax murmurs, going back to his work.
"oh," you respond dumbly. sometimes you feel like things at encom run so quickly, you can't even catch up.
you guess that julian hasn't found out yet, if he did, your phone would be vibrating with confirmations messages from him. you're pretty sure ajax isn't even sure if eve's on the right track in the first place, nothing's for sure at the moment.
but even if eve found the code, you wouldn't tell julian. you were his... thing but you were an encom c-suite first, after all.
still, when your phone vibrates in your pocket a few moments later, you don't even need to check who it is.
you must be insane. there's no other reasonable explanation.
there's approximately three hours until the launch event, which you're supposed to speak at— but you're still on your way to the dillinger systems factory.
all to see that smug bastard's face and maybe take the edge off- even for just a little bit.
when you get out of the car, he’s already waiting by the factory doors, hands in his pockets, squinting into the sun. when he spots you, he instantly grins boyishly. he meets you halfway, a hand on the small of your back.
the casual touch shouldn't make your stomach flip.
“don’t worry, i asked to be left alone for a few hours,” julian explains, as if he read your mind. “told them i needed to clear my head before my presentation to our shareholders.”
“you’re presenting to the shareholders?” you ask as you watch him press the button to close the large doors.
”yeah, something actually useful to society— unlike whatever nostalgia trip you're peddling at encom.” he grins, narrowing his eyes at you playfully, “you guys are launching what— your 100th rendition of space paranoids?”
“10th,” you correct, rolling your eyes. “and encom has created plenty of innovations for society-“
“sure,” he responds sarcastically, “i’m just saying— you’re wasting your time, and for someone with a lot of potential, i just don’t think encom deserves you.”
your cheeks heat up at that but you push his words out of his head. he doesn’t really mean it, he’s just in an unusually good mood. you instead look at the new installment in the center of the room, something that looks like a launchpad and a bunch of large lasers pointing at it.
your eyebrows furrow, and you turn to him, “what is this—?”
julian smiles, “wanna see something cool?”
he walks over to a computer and types a bit of code. “you’re one of the first non-company people i’m showing this to.” this is genuinely the most excited you’ve ever seen him, it makes you feel uneasy.
“is this what you’re going to show your shareholders?”
“yup,” he nods as he clicks a final red button and hands you something that looks like an oversized pair of sunglasses.
“attention, please put on your safety glasses now.”
some automatic voice plays and julian snaps his fingers at you. you sigh and slide on the glasses and stare at the launchpad expectantly.
“laser systems activated. power fluctuations or not. warning. stand clear.”
the room is illuminated with red lights, and the machinery shifts around.
julian turns towards you, “this is going to blow your mind.”
"activate the dillinger systems server. raw material … initiated."
the lasers shoot towards the platform and something... or someone materializes. as small particles gather together, julian grabs your hand in giddy excitement, you hate how it makes your insides flutter at the feeling of his skin on yours. you hate how domestic it feels.
after a moment, the lasers stop and a man in a suit that glowed with red lights appeared in front of you. julian drops your hand and walks towards the taller man with a giant grin.
"meet ares," julian turns back to you with a smile. "ares, say hello."
"hello," ares says.
you tilt your head at him- it? "is it... alive?"
"no," julian clarifies with a laugh, you walks a few steps closer, observing the figure. "he's the most sophisticated security program, a super soldier in a way."
ares stares at you, "y/n. the head of operating and corporate partnership of encom, ecom executive. failed to seal deal with dillinger systems, currently struggling to regain trust of fellow encom c-suites. it's a pleasure."
you flinch at that, turning to julian. "did you tell him that?" and
julian shrugs simply, "he must've done some digging."
you roll your eyes at the vague answer and turn back to ares, "also- for your information, i am not struggling, they- they trust me."
"of course, it's an honor to meet you. my creator has marked you as... neutral, despite being an encom employee," ares notes. "encom employees are usually marked as en—"
julian clears his throat, "she's different," he continues, "anyway, isn't he amazing? it'll show everyone military ai is the future, strong, fast, intelligent..." he puts his hand on ares' shoulder. "fully expendable."
"he's the most advanced ai i've ever seen," you agree. it was the truth.
"the most advanced in all mankind," julian says smugly.
you glance up, to see a timer- counting down:
26:36... 26:35... 26:34...
it takes a second to click, "but the most advanced for only 29 minutes?" you ask, raising a brow, "are you planning to tell that to your shareholders?"
julian huffs, narrowing his eyes. "i'll find the permanence code soon enough."
"sure," you say sarcastically.
"look, what matters most is that we have something good. it's nearly perfect, just has a pesky time limit, y'know?"
"hm," you muse.
"look- let me show you some things this guy can do," julian says excitedly. "i need to test him a bit before he goes in front of the shareholders anyway."
julian makes ares speak, calculate the the precipitation— 2.6 inches, analyze patterns, and respond to his commands. you watch, half-unnerved, half-amazed and julian's eyes flickers to you a few time, eyes flickering with pride. his face betraying the cool demeanour he usually put on with a smile.
you couldn't tell if you were more impressed by ares or by julian- so alive in his element. it made your stomach twist in a way that had nothing to do with lasers.
and soon, the timer ticked down until there were mere seconds left, and ares crouches down as he crumbles into particles.
julian frown slightly at this, "i need that permanence code, fast." he huffs, a hand running through his dark curls- a habit you noticed meant he was frustrated.
“you’ll burn yourself out if you keep chasing the impossible,” you laugh softly, but he doesn’t return the laugh. he just mutters something under his breath and turns towards the stairs.
“julian?”
“office,” he says over his shoulder, “i need a drink.”
and of course, you follow.
his office is always obsessively neat. the marble floor gleams, so clean it reflects everything above it. for a space so vast, it's almost empty— just a painting of his grandfather on one wall, his screen-infused desk, a chair, a long couch, a tv, and a cabinet full of liquor. the rest of the walls were windows, blinds lazily drawn, letting thin strips of light cut across the room.
julian makes a beeline for the alcohol, pulling out a beer from the fridge, "you want one?" he asks, not bothering to turn his head.
"no thanks, i don't drink before events where i have to speak," you admit.
"well, i'm the opposite then," julian chuckles as he pops the lid of the bottle off.
"that seems unhealthy," you comment.
"and you're such a martyr, aren't you?" he teases, raising his eyebrow.
no, you weren't. that's why you were here, weren't you? that's why you were staring at him expectantly as he swallows beer down. that's why you're staring at his adam's apple bob and it's why your cheeks heat up.
he unfortunately catches your stare and smirks, setting his bottle down on his desk.
"you're terrible at hiding when you want something, d'you know that?" julian says, voice low.
you laugh slightly, looking away, "i don't know what you're talking about."
his fingers wrap around your chin and he tilts your head up until you have no choice but to meet his gaze. his dark brown eyes staring back into yours, he tilts his head.
"really?" he asks, head leaning closer to yours.
"julian-" your breath stutters.
the corners of his mouth curves. "i knew it," he says and he presses his mouth against yours.
the kiss is far from anything gentle, it's hot, messy, and takes your breath away. when your back hits the wall, julian's tongue is already pushing into your mouth. your hands wrap behind his neck and your fingers thread into his hair, playing with the strands. his lips move to your chin then your neck, pressing hot kisses against it. his hands finding their way under your skirt.
"yes," you gasp before he even asks anything, you feel him smile against the skin of your neck at it.
his hands move higher up your thigh, spreading goosebumps on your skin, and he's playing with the waistband of your panties.
"what do you think?" he asks, breath hot on your skin.
"what?"
"ares," he says, like it should be obvious. "what do you think of what i've built?"
his finger slides against your clothed slit, you'd laugh if you weren't busy gasping— of course this is when he asks for validation.
"i think it's amazing," you manage between shallow breaths, "i think— you're a genius. one of the kind."
his finger pushes under the fabric, slides against your wet folds and rubs circles into your clit. you let out a whimper as pleasure shoots up from your core.
"ares is the next big step that'll show everyone that-" he pauses, pushing his finger into your cunt, pumping slowly "-that, i'm the next big thing. my mother will know it, the board will know it... literally any fuckin’ person on the street, you get that?"
you nod but you're not really listening, not when he's just added another finger and their curling up into the squishy spot that makes your head spin.
"what's encom doing that's so special anyway?" julian mumbles, using his freehand to undo his pants. "what makes eve kim any better if not worse, than me?"
you let out a soft moan as his other hands speeds up, "fuck- found the permanence code?"
his face stiffens slightly but his fingers don't stop their motion, "what?"
"hah— i dunno- eve's like- ah— gone," your head falls back as his fingers move even faster, nails pressing into the fabric covering his shoulders, "she thinks she might've found it-"
he doesn't say anything in response as he pulls his fingers out of you and pushes his pants and boxers down. but before you can even register what you've said, he's tracing the tip of cock against your core, making you moan out again.
"ready?" his eyes flicker to you, dark and a little needy.
"mhm."
julian drives into you and you let out a breath. it's always a stretch for you and you grimace a bit, hands gripping his shoulders a bit tighter. once you get used to him and the burn starts to fade, you nod. he takes that as a sign to push the rest of his cock in.
you both let out a gasp when he bottoms out, his tip reaching spots that no one else has ever reached. julian presses a kiss against the crook of your neck as he starts to thrust slowly.
"you feel so good," he mumbles against your skin. the pace is maddening, your brain slowly clearing out until the only thing left is him. "look so pretty like this... look so pretty taking me..."
he lifts one of your legs, wrapping it around his waist, while his other hand digs into your ass to steady you. he lets out a groan as the new angle lets his cock sink deeper into you.
the feeling numbed your body, better than any drink or drug— it felt too good and it got better every time. you just needed more.
"please, julian- faster... need more..." you practically beg into his ear.
he grunts in acknowledgment as his hips speed up, his cock dragging against your walls. your back arches into his movement, arms wrapping around his back.
"ah— julian- g-god-"
his thrusts begin to get more frantic and you clench around his shaft, "fuck," he mutters and you feel his tip twitch inside of you.
the sounds of sex— moaning and skin slapping fill the office, it's addicting. your vision blurs and your eyes flutter shut in pleasure.
"hey," julian calls out, tapping your cheek with a finger. "eyes on me."
you struggle to open your eyes, but you do so anyway, meeting his hungry eyes and smirk.
"attagirl."
you feel the knot in your stomach tighten and your breathing quickening as you approach your climax.
"gonna come?" julian asks with a soft grin.
as you nod gently, he pulls out of you- but before you can mourn the loss, he rams back into you, making your head spin. he pounds into you roughly as if he's trying to see how fast he can make you finish, one of his free hands come to press circles against your clit.
electricity jolts through your body, every nerve screaming in pleasure, and your moans tumble out, louder now, as heat coils in your core.
"fuck- fuck- fuck- fuck- julian-" the words ramble out as you reach your peak, every fiber in your body yearning for release.
julian's jaw clenches, eyes shut, and he groans, pressing his cock deeper, "just like that," he whispers, "i got you."
"mmm- oh- julian!" you throw your head back as waves of pleasure rip throw you. you pulsate around him, evoking a hiss from him.
"good girl- fuck— just... hold on a little longer- m'kay?" julian says, words rushed as his pace grows sloppy. he wasn't far behind.
his thrust slow- once- twice more until buries himself in your cunt to the hilt and he shudders, "ah— fuck," he groans.
spurts of warmth begin to fill you as he lets out heavy pants, "jesus christ."
you stay like that for a bit and you press your forehead against his shoulder with a breathless laugh. after a moment, he pulls out of you slowly and turns to grab a few tissues from his desk to wipe at your thigh. your legs tremble spent and you begin to dread the fact that you'll have to change into higher heels for your presentation.
you smooth out your clothes and try your best to fix your disheveled hair using your reflection in the mirror. julian fixes his suit and tucks himself back, hand running through his hair.
he clears his throat, "you should go now, i don't want to keep you from launching the next version of your stupid game." he says playfully.
"yeah..." you say, pushing a few strands of your hair behind. "yeah, i should go." you look down awkwardly.
a few awkward beats of silence pass, both of you don't want to leave each other after what just happened but duty calls. on both sides.
"call me," julian adds. "after it."
"ok," you answer gently, "i will."
you finally turn around and begin to walk away before you stop, "good luck," you say over your shoulder. "with your thing with the shareholders."
"thanks," you hear him mumble behind you, already at his desk, typing something.
outside, the cool air hit your face, but it does nothing to calm the heat inside you. then, it really hits you.
you are never getting away from julian dillinger.
note: thank you for reading!!! i tried to make it accurate to the plot lol. i hope the small julian dillinger community enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it!!! stay tuned for the next chapter xx
