DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!!!!!

Any pronouns

[c365]

Introduction 

Hello, I’m c365 but you can also call me cos. you can call me cosine too, rando gamers like to call me that. 

I go by any pronouns I don’t have a preference.

I pretty much just draw and reblog art here and post about random stuff. My art style may vary a bit. 

I have a small HK/SS AU tagged #Musician AU 

OC stuff is tagged with #myoc 

Music stuff is tagged with #music stuff

other than that uhh this blog is pretty messy sorry

Feel free to ask me anything about my stuff as long as it’s not nsfw. You’re also free to draw my OCs, just tag me if you do. 

If you are DMing me for whatever reason, please do not just say "hi" and not follow it up with anything, or I will assume you are a bot and ignore and/or block you. I shouldn't have to say this but please do not ask me personal information jfc.

I also draw with fountain pens. If you are curious as to what pens I use (I also tag them in my posts): 

Lamy Safari

Sailor Fude de Mannen

Duke 551 Confucius

Inks I mainly use:

Platinum Carbon Black

Writer’s Blood

[asp1diske-art]

Learning Loss

(script under cut)

1.

12th Architect: Bug-Red? 12th Architect: Oh! 12th Architect: Cog-Knight. A rare sight you g-grant this Architect. 2nd Sentinel: A friend told this sentinel that you could p-p-provide repairs. 12th Architect: I am no match-equal to your makers. But I shall serve, as I am able.

2.

2nd Sentinel: Maker? 12th Architect: Y-yes? 2nd Sentinel: Can you b-build this sentinel's heart core anew? 12th Architect: The skills required are long lost-forgotten. I cannot creat-copy a work so fine. 2nd Sentinel: …

3.

12th Architect: W-why do you ask this? There is no flaw-error in your heart core. 2nd Sentinel: …Upon this sentinel's waking, it found all other sentinels s-s-shut down.

4.

2nd Sentinel: Alone, is this sentinel. The duty of the s-s-sentinels is eternal, yet still this sentinel finds itself lost. 12th Architect: …

5.

12th Architect: …You will grow used to it. 2nd Sentinel: To what? 12th Architect: To being left behind. To l-l-living on.

6.

To loss.

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

thought abt them for too long and my stomach started hurting so i assembled a bath kit for them. please drag the silk soap and various accoutrements and gently wash them with me. if you feel so inclined.

[dragovz]

figuring out how to draw acht during finals lol

[meryk-alloco]

Phantom 🤭

I like phatom

[shadexether]

Forgetting a face that was never yours.

[bloodybarbrawl]

I wanted it so i made it.

[cat-the-comet]

devastating: artist who has not practiced fundamentals enough to execute high concept idea eats shit

[hydrattan]

I was feeling agitated and artblocked yesterday so I decided to give my brain a rest by watching TV and then the next thing I knew these were in front of me

[kerink]

it's not fair that twitter's phm tag has a rocky emoji so i stole him for you all

[wildminti]

Rocky was going to say "fans of PHM" but Grace panicked! 🏳️‍🌈

[djinnkala]

Happy pride month, statement!! 🏳️‍🌈

[c365]

Fucking love Carpenter Brut his music is gnarly nasty sex to my ears.

[glamour-crusher]

Been thinking about the implications of replaying hotline miami after finishing both games

How different events and dialogue are both in the sense of “Oh I know what this is referencing/alluding to now!” but more strongly the almost timeloop-esque experience of “Why are you doing all of this again?”

When I was replaying the first game I kept getting caught on Beard’s dialogue when you see him in the shops. How they both hint to his earlier death but also Jacket’s avoidance to address it directly. When you first see him he’s excited and goes on about having not seen Jacket in a bit and references the last conversation they’d had together about Jacket’s ex, but then vaguely goes “Don’t remember seeing you after that…. Maybe we should talk about something else”. It’s cryptic the first time but going back to it after playing through 2 you have a new realization of what its referencing. And Beard getting squirrelly about it and quickly shuffling the conversation along is just Jacket’s mind trying to squash the memory down again. And then later on when you see him again after fighting Biker, Beard talks about how there’s a bad sort of energy in the air, something he “hasn’t felt since San Fransisco”, which the player connects later as being tied to Richter and Jacket’s girlfriend’s murder. While you don’t really understand Why Richter does what he does originally, after the context of 2, you recognize that it was directly because of Jacket and Biker’s fight and his own involvement. Beard’s dialogue serves as both an omen of what has already happened that you don’t find out until 2 with his death and with Richter, but it also sets up as a warning of what’s to come with his girlfriend, something comparable to the events in San Fran

But more to my actual thesis of this rant cause that was mostly just one specific thing that made me flinch whenever I was experiencing it

Throughout the whole game once you replay it, there’s a stronger air of. Judgement, going on. Richard’s warnings and commentary hits twice as hard when its reframed as “Why have you come back? What do you stand to gain from redoing all of this?”

Another thing that stuck out to me was the gametip “Tip: She’s already dead” that comes up right when you start Trauma. In the first playthrough it already feels like a warning of sorts. She's already dead, there's nothing you can do, don't continue down this path you're on, there's nothing for you. But then a second time playing the game and seeing it it has a more. "She's dead, remember? You can't change that, doing this again won't change that, you're not going to fix what's already done". So many actions in a replay of this game feel like a desperate attempt to try to rewrite what has already happened and what cannot change, its set in stone and all you’re doing is reopening those wounds.

And yeah there’s the judgement angle of the whole “Do you like hurting other people?” being a sort of metaphor for the player replaying the game and killing everything again for shits and giggles, but there’s also a. Sadness to it, almost. Like a larger entity watching somebody who is aware that they are stuck in a timeloop, and despite all odds being convinced something may change this time.

And it just kind of ties in to some themes that I’ve previously thought about between both games. Generally speaking I feel like their messages are a mix of empty nihilism in the first game, “what do you even gain from all of this? What does it matter?’ and the second being a warning of “Don’t overcorrect on that nihilism and become so consumed and obsessed with your goals that it ruins your life because it might have been for nothing in the end anyways”. The first game in particular ends on a note of letting go, of finally finishing what you set out to do and getting some degree of closure. Why would you go back and do it again? Wasn’t it hard enough the first time? And, while I haven’t replayed 2 yet, I know its got additional shit and servers to lean back on the “Don’t get too invested, this is all going to end in tragedy”

But then it’s like

It’s still worth it to, in my opinion

You may know how it ends, but now you have a broader context.

To use Beard as an example again, going back to the first game after finishing the second has a lot more weight to it once you’re aware of who this man actually Is and what the implications of his involvement in 1 are for Jacket and their relationship. You as the player wouldn’t have gotten to see that understanding and new awareness of the context behind the weird cryptic shit Beard says and does in 1 without going back to it to redo it again. Sure it goes nowhere, he’s still dead, but there’s another layer of. Appreciation? Respect? Acknowledgment of the depths of these characters and their role in the broader story.

The game doesn’t necessarily judge you or punish you as severely for playing/replaying it as I feel some people say, I feel it more pities you for wanting or needing to go back and re experience these tragedies again, as if it were some kind of emotional self destruction for Jaket and by proxy, the player.

Don Juan I feel represents this pity perfectly, acting as the sympathetic and concerned parallel to Richard’s cryptic warnings and Rasmus’ hostility. Richard tends to not really feel a particular way about whether or not you should do the shit that you do, he just wants to make sure you take responsibility and understand just what consequences are coming to you if you do. The most punitive judgement you receive from him are effectively “You did this to yourself, I don’t know what you’re looking for here”. Rasmus is representative of the levels of violence and senseless killing that Jacket partakes in, whether that be a metaphor for the men he’s killed or the primal emotions. He’s angry at you, he wants you Gone, especially under the context of doing it again. Haven’t you had enough??

Don Juan though is repeatedly concerned about you, trying to comfort you and urge you to settle down and brush away some of Richard’s incidental harshness. I wouldn’t say she’s trying to make you Not Think About It, but is moreso concerned of the consequences if you do, and trying to ease you as much as possible, whereas Richard is nothing but consequences and self reflection.

But in a replay, her comfort and worry feels more personal, especially if you thread a connection between her and Jacket’s girlfriend as a lot of folks in the fandom do, despite having been there before. And her whole “You don’t know who you are?” and “"Acknowledging oneself means acknowledging their actions, and lately you've done some terrible things" have more impact the second time”. Cause yeah, the first time you’re playing you don’t know who Jacket is or any of the setup besides the shit in the prelude. But in a second player it feels more like it’s trying to make you aware you’ve been here before. Not judging you, but making you kind of think, remember who you are and what you did, and ideally make you reconsider doing it again. “You’ve done some terrible things, and you don’t know who you are. Maybe we should leave it that way?” It comes off in a way that’s comforting and somewhat intentionally obfuscating your responsibility in all of this, but underneath it it gives the impression of a concerned mother who already knows exactly what you did but trying to comfort you regardless, but making you feel this bone deep guilt and remorse because you both know how terrible you are but you can’t bring yourself to say it and she can’t bring herself to acknowledge it.

I feel like Richard and Rasmus are a bit more obvious in what they’ve got going on in their role in the narrative, especially in regards to a second playthrough. Richard casts detached judgement and reminds you of what you’re getting yourself into, Rasmus openly berates you and antagonizes you for your desire and even enjoyment in doing it all again, and Don Juan, despite being the most openly comforting and sympathetic, inadvertently worms out the most awareness and guilt in the player (or at least, in Jacket), because of how gentle she is.

Reiterating, there’s absolutely judgment present in these three, but it feels like a sliding scale of sorts.

Richard judges, not in a personal way, but in a very detached way of “You've gotten yourself into this. Here's what's going to happen now. Think real long and hard about how you brought this on yourself" with a slight sense of distant pity in the same way a person might feel for a relative who is actively sabotaging their own life. What you’re going through is terrible but you did this to yourself so I can’t bring myself to feel sympathy. He doesn’t care what you do, he cares that you take responsibility and own up to it. If you’re going to be terrible, be honest with yourself.

Don Juan by contrast has nothing but concern and pity for the player, with a slight dash of judgement in a “I know what you did but its better for all of us that we just don’t address it”

And generally, back to the timeloop themes, it contributes to the sense of futility throughout both games. That no matter what you do its not enough. This isn’t an open ended game, where you can go back and make different choices and get a happier ending. This is it. In the spirit of the second game, its all prerecorded on a VHS tape, you can pop it back in to the VCR and rewind as much as you like but the outcome is always going to be the same. And various parts of the game respond accordingly, even if unintentionally, to make you really consider the weight of your actions and willingly going through them again.

[c365]

Finished HM and HM2 I'll probably play cruelty squad or postal next.

[erroq44]

ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ ɢᴇᴛ ᴀ ɢʀɪᴘ

[hi-its-the-blackmold]

Simon’s ability to navigate is cracked asf to Eridians!!! /pos

OKAY so idk if this is canon cus I can’t find the post but someone made a post about how Eridians apparently don’t have a spacial memory/recall/remembered spacial awareness like we do, and therefore if they walked through a room and “saw” it, then tried to walk through the room “blind” aka deaf and unable to echolocate, they’d be totally lost. They don’t retain awareness of how to navigate that space. Unlike humans, who can mentally visualize the navigable area of a room they can no longer see, allowing us to walk around in the dark with some semblance of where things are. That post mentioned how confused Eridians would be seeing Grace walk around his house in the dark and not run into Everything, he actually seems to know where he’s going.

And then I had a realization while rewatching Iron Lung. THEY WOULD FIND WHAT SIMON DID INCONCEIVABLE. Absolute freak of nature shit. And what I mean is his ability to map his surroundings and learn them and navigate them. Simon literally could never effectively see things while moving, all he had was a proximity radar and occasional shitty photos that would only ever be “how things looked 3 seconds ago”, and he mapped the area in the blood ocean with decent success and at certain points no longer even needed his map. He managed to gain a sense of his surroundings outside the ship, and understand those surroundings, navigating essentially blind. Only knowing/discovering if something is in front of him once he’s right there almost up against it, close to collision. Building a visual of the space by approaching a direction until he is stopped. And that method of navigation?

In all reality, what most accurately describes the way Simon navigated is by feel. Simon navigated by touch.

….and I think I need to make some fanworks about that.