๐๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ฎ๐ ๐ก๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐จ๐ ๐๐ฉ๐จ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐จ
โIf I Say It, Let Me Take It Backโ
This fic is HEAVILY based off of Bella Kayโs song โPromise?โ I hope you enjoy.
โโบโโ โโโโโฑเผ๏ธ โข เผ๏ธโฐโโโโ โโบโโ
Walker drops onto the couch beside you, grabbing a handful of popcorn from your bowl like itโs his.
โThis movie is terrible, right?โ
You snort. โItโs not terrible.โ
โItโs so terrible,โ he insists. โThat acting? Criminal.โ
โYouโre literally an actor.โ
โExactly. Iโm allowed to judge.โ
You roll your eyes, nudging his shoulder. โYouโre so annoying.โ
โYeah?โ he grins. โYou love it.โ
And thatโs the problem.
โYouโre being weird.โ
You glance up from your phone. โIโm not being weird.โ
Walker squints at you. โYouโve been staring at the same TikTok for, like, five minutes.โ
โWow. Very descriptive,โ he deadpans. โSuper helpful.โ
You sigh, locking your phone. โWhy do you care so much?โ
โBecause,โ he says like itโs obvious, โyouโre my best friend. Iโm supposed to care.โ
The words sit heavy in your chest.
โRight,โ you say quietly. โBest friend.โ
Walker tilts his head. โOkay, what was that?โ
โThere was definitely a tone,โ he leans closer. โWhatโs going on with you lately?โ
You glare at him. โIโm not lying.โ
โYou are. You do this thingโโ he gestures vaguely at your face, โโwhere you pretend everythingโs fine, but itโs not.โ
โMaybe everything is fine.โ
โYeah?โ he challenges. โThen why does it feel like youโre about to disappear on me again?โ
โIโm not disappearing.โ
โYou did it last time,โ he says softly. โYou went all quiet and weird and wouldnโt tell me what was wrong.โ
โThat was different.โ
Because you canโt say it.
Not without ruining everything.
โYou ever think about stuff you shouldnโt?โ you blurt out later.
Walker looks over at you from where heโs lying on the floor, scrolling on his phone.
โAll the time,โ he says. โThatโs, like, my whole personality.โ
You huff a quiet laugh. โNo, I meanโฆ like, things you know would mess everything up if you said them out loud.โ
Now youโve got his attention.
โโฆYeah,โ he says slowly. โI guess.โ
You pick at the sleeve of your hoodie. โWhat do you do about it?โ
โDepends,โ he shrugs. โIf itโs important, I say it anyway.โ
โThen I keep my mouth shut.โ
You nod, staring at the floor. โRight.โ
Walker studies you. โOkay, that sounded suspiciously specific.โ
He sits up, nudging your knee with his. โYou gonna tell me what this is about or am I supposed to guess?โ
โGuessing would be a terrible idea.โ
โBecause youโd get it wrong.โ
Your heart is already racing, and you havenโt even said anything yet.
โIf I told you something,โ you start carefully, โwould youโโ
He frowns. โWould I what?โ
โWould you promise not to make it weird?โ
โThat depends on what it is.โ
โSee? Thatโs not reassuring.โ
He softens a little. โHey. Iโm not gonna justโฆ freak out on you.โ
โYou donโt know that.โ
โThen give me the chance to prove it.โ
You shake your head. โNo, you donโt get it.โ
โThen help me get it.โ
And thatโs your first mistake.
Because it makes everything worse.
โI want to tell you something,โ you say finally, your voice barely steady.
Walkerโs expression shifts, more serious now. โOkayโฆ?โ
โBut you have to promise me something first.โ
He raises an eyebrow. โThat sounds ominous.โ
โโฆAlright,โ he nods. โWhat is it?โ
โIf I tell you,โ you swallow, โand you donโt feel the sameโฆ you have to let me take it back.โ
He blinks. โTake it back?โ
โLike I never said it,โ you clarify quickly. โNo weirdness, no awkward distance, noโฆ nothing changes.โ
Walker stares at you, confused. โThatโs not really how that works.โ
โIt has to be,โ you insist. โBecause I canโtโโ your voice cracks slightly, โโI canโt lose you over something stupid I said.โ
His expression softens instantly.
โHey,โ he says gently. โItโs not stupid if it matters to you.โ
โIt is if it ruins everything.โ
โYou donโt know that,โ you cut in. โSo justโฆ promise me.โ
And that hesitation makes your chest tighten.
โWhy does it feel like Iโm about to agree to something dangerous?โ he asks quietly.
You let out a shaky breath. โWalker, please.โ
He looks at you for a long moment.
โโฆFine,โ he says. โI promise.โ
โPromise you wonโt treat me differently?โ
โPromise we stay the same?โ
You search his face. โAnd I can take it back?โ
โโฆYou can take it back,โ he agrees.
Silence stretches between you.
โOkay,โ Walker says softly. โNow youโre scaring me.โ
You let out a weak laugh. โYeah. Me too.โ
You shake your head. โI canโt.โ
โYou literally just made me promiseโโ
โI know, I know,โ you groan, covering your face. โI justโgive me a second.โ
Thatโs what makes this so hard.
โOkay,โ you whisper, dropping your hands. โOkay, Iโm gonna say it, and then weโre never speaking of it again if it goes badly.โ
โThatโs not comforting.โ
The words fall out faster than you can stop them.
So you keep going, because now you canโt stop.
โI know weโre supposed to just be friends,โ you rush, voice shaking. โAnd we are, I get that, I doโbut I donโt feel like that anymore and I havenโt for a while, and I didnโt want to tell you because if you donโt feel the same then everything changes and I donโt want to lose you, soโโ
His voice cuts through your spiral.
โIโm done,โ you say quickly, standing up. โForget I said anything, okay? I take it backโโ
Walker stands too, stepping in front of you before you can escape.
โNo,โ he repeats. โYou donโt get to just say something like that and then take it back two seconds later.โ
โThat was the deal,โ you remind him weakly.
โYeah, well, I donโt like the deal anymore.โ
โDo you really think Iโd justโฆ pretend I didnโt hear that?โ he asks, searching your face.
โI was hoping you would.โ
You look down, mortified. โThis was a mistake.โ
โHey,โ he says again, softer this time. โLook at me.โ
Itโs not weird. Not distant. Not uncomfortable.
โYouโve felt like this for a while?โ he asks quietly.
โAnd you didnโt tell me because you thought I wouldnโt feel the same?โ
โAnd you were just gonna keep pretending?โ
โI was doing a pretty good job,โ you mumble.
He huffs out a small, disbelieving laugh. โNo, you werenโt.โ
โIโm serious,โ he says. โYouโve been acting like youโre walking on eggshells around me.โ
โBecause I have been.โ
โYou really think I donโt feel anything?โ he asks.
Your heart stutters. โI donโt know what you feel.โ
Walker runs a hand through his hair, pacing once like heโs trying to sort out his thoughts.
โThatโs so unfair,โ he mutters.
โThat you didnโt tell me,โ he says. โBecause now youโve been dealing with all of this alone, and I didnโt even know.โ
โThatโs kind of the point.โ
โYeah, well, I hate that.โ
You swallow. โYou donโt have to deal with it. I told youโIโll take it back.โ
โI said no,โ he repeats, more firmly. โYou donโt get to just erase it because youโre scared of my answer.โ
Your chest tightens. โThenโฆ what is your answer?โ
And for a second, he seems just as scared as you feel.
โI donโt know how to say this right,โ he admits. โSo itโs probably gonna come out messy.โ
โI thinkโฆโ he hesitates, then exhales, โI think Iโve been trying really hard not to think about it.โ
Your breath catches. โAbout what?โ
โYou,โ he says simply.
โBecause yeahโweโre supposed to be friends,โ he continues. โAnd I didnโt want to mess that up. But every time youโd laugh at something dumb I said, or sit too close, orโโ he cuts himself off, shaking his head, โโit got harder to ignore.โ
You stare at him. โWalkerโฆโ
โI didnโt say anything because I didnโt want to lose you either,โ he finishes.
Then, barely above a whisperโ
He lets out a shaky breath. โI donโt know.โ
โThatโs not helpful.โ
โI know,โ he half-laughs. โBut itโs honest.โ
You nod slowly. โOkay. Honest is good.โ
โDo you still want to take it back?โ he asks.
The way your heart is pounding right now.
A small smile tugs at his lips.
โYeah,โ he says softly. โMe neither.โ
Your heart is still racing, but itโs different now. Less panicโmoreโฆ anticipation.
Terrifying, but not in a bad way.
โSoโฆ what does that mean?โ you ask, your voice quieter now.
Walker lets out a breath, glancing down for a second before looking back at you.
โI think it meansโฆโ he steps a little closer, hesitant but sure at the same time, โwe stop pretending we donโt feel this.โ
You swallow. โAnd if it messes everything up?โ
โThen we deal with it,โ he says. โTogether.โ
You search his face. โYouโre really okay risking that?โ
He huffs a small laugh. โI think weโve already been risking it for a while.โ
โโฆYeah,โ you admit. โWe have.โ
Walker shifts slightly, like heโs debating something, then looks back at you.
โCan Iโโ he starts, then stops himself, smiling nervously. โOkay, wow, I suddenly donโt know how to do this.โ
You let out a soft laugh. โDo what?โ
โThis,โ he gestures between you. โWhatever this is.โ
โYouโre doing fine.โ
โDoesnโt feel like it.โ
That seems to give him just enough confidence.
โOkay,โ he says quietly. โGood.โ
Another small step closer.
Close enough now that your breath catches.
โIf you hate this,โ he adds quickly, โyou can totally take it back.โ
You smile a little. โThatโs my line.โ
โYeah, well, Iโm stealing it.โ
Your voice softens. โIโm not gonna take it back.โ
He searches your face one more time, like heโs making absolutely sure.
Then, gentlyโcarefullyโhe leans in.
Tentative at first, like heโs giving you time to pull away.
Your hand lightly grips his hoodie, and thatโs all it takes for him to relax into it just a little moreโstill gentle, still unsure, but real.
When he pulls back, itโs only slightly, his forehead almost resting against yours.
โโฆWeโre definitely not taking that back, right?โ he murmurs.
You let out a quiet laugh, your nerves finally settling.
He smilesโsmall, but genuine.
And this time, when he leans in againโ
Thereโs no hesitation at all.