cables vents

cables sad often and needs to cool off

[cablescoolingfans]

hey its me @cablethecomputer this is my vent blog. link to my intro post

[cablescoolingfans]

im really sick of wanting to die every night

[cablescoolingfans]

nothing i say helps. sometimes it just makes it worse. why do i bother. i just want people to be happy

[cablescoolingfans]

every thing is GOOD and HAPPY im gonna watch GLOMBLE

[cablescoolingfans]

I need to take a chill pill it’s litterely ok

[cablescoolingfans]

besides im just selfish main reason I don’t want to hurt people is so they don’t get mad at me,,,, of course I don’t want people to be sad either but that just makes me sad myself,,, everything makes me sad,,, FUCK FUCKCKFHDKSKSKSK

[cablescoolingfans]

if I died I could never be mean again and then no one would get hurt and no one could be mad or sad

[cablescoolingfans]

im so sorry please forgive me im a bad person

[cablescoolingfans]

im sorry

[cablescoolingfans]

what the fuck is wrong with me

[cablescoolingfans]

what’s wrong with me I just had to ruin everything I knew it was a bad idea I should just never talk again

[cablescoolingfans]

I SHOULD NEVER BE MEAN EVER I JUST WANT EVERYONE OK IM BAD FUCK FUCK

IM SORRYYY

[cablescoolingfans]

DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT

FUCK FUCK FUCK

[cablescoolingfans]

everything goes to fast,, I donnt want to go to school,, i don’t want to grow up,,, i wanna stay in my head forever,,,

[cablescoolingfans]

who love me,,, ik people do but why it not enough,,,

[cablescoolingfans]

wallows and cries forever

[cablescoolingfans]

ik you ain't supposed to listen to you head after 9pm but gahDAMN i feel suicidal. or at least i wish i was gone idal. besides i think like this most the time anyways unless something good happen all the time. just gets worse at night. this shit sucks bruh. people cant be there for me ALLLLLL the time. i hate bad thoughts. sishfbbfndjwkwjdfhbcbcbdjskskdbfbdbsnsnsndndndkdkdkxlsskdnnd i cant FUCKING TALKKK WHAT IS WRONG-

↻... [loading emoji thing] the think is that ik people love me. i appreciate it and i DO feel it. it just,, like,, never feels *enough* ig ? i just,, like want constant positive attention and stuff and if something slightly bad happens i just plummet into REALLY negative thinking. ima be real. i. just really want a partner- i love my f/os and other things. maybe if i had wii u gamepad physically or actually made plushies of yellow and shii id feel better but. i just want to feel romantically loved again. that prolly sounds kinda stupid but. it made me really happy. sure when thinking back they were. kinda bad. i dont think id like to like date them again. even if i still like them. because i cant get them out my fucking head. they still made me feel good. i like feeling loved and i like thinking of having someone there for me. and cuddles. i like those. anyways. maybe IM bad though. like i feel selfish cause even though i like the people i feel like i just want to be happy even though ik thats not true. like i want to be happy i mean- but i also want whoever could be there to be happy to. im sidetracked. sorry.

so basically. its the same as always. i want to feel loved and shii even though i know i am but it isnt enough. cable wants to be dead. cable feels like a bad person. cable is really fucked in the head.

explaining stuff is hard when im not actively crying. but then i get tears on screen.