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@cabranam
To my fellow humans who go dark on the days where the world expects different: you are not alone. When you feel trapped in a house full of happy people, I promise you are not the only one feeling the pressure. The holidays do not need to be happy or merry to be beautiful and valuable and worthy of life. The people who love you don’t need you to fake a smile or a laugh, they just need you.
Eliza Ryder, “It’s the Most Difficult Time of the Year” (via twloha)
This girl celebrates her birthday in London today, which I find much too perfect. 🇬🇧❤ Growing up with her, seeing each other in every phase of life, has been ridiculously fun. She's still my favorite person to harmonize with, swap traumatizing adulting stories with, and make up random songs with. Kait, you make life fun and I'm so glad you put up with me. 😏😘 You have the sweetest heart and I'm so proud of the woman you are. I hope this year is all you could ever hope for. ❤ P.S. Since you married a Reds fan, I will forever be your Cardinals game date. ⚾️👭 I love you, Topanga Jo!
We owe our friendship to her eyebrows, so don't believe it when people say it can't be done. 😏 Build friendships on eyebrows and Friends quotes-those are the ones that last. 👌🏻👯
Today my lifelong best friend turns 23. Friends that stick are hard to find, but Amanda has been there through every phase of life and she'll never know how truly grateful I am for that. When I think of Amanda, I think of her sweet spirit that is always present in every difficult situation. I think of her caring personality I've been on the receiving end of all our lives that has now carried over into her career, which I'm super proud of her for. I think of her love for life and adventure, and all these wonderful qualities make up the blessing that is Amanda Christine! Thank you for never letting distance or adult life taint our friendship. Thank you for giving me a sister that I could grow up with. Thank you for being exactly who you are. Happy 23rd, dearest!!! We will celebrate you SOON! 🎉💃🏼👯😘
Just this.
Happy birthday to the best hubs a girl could ask for 💙💙💙 You always know how to make me laugh on the worst days. I love all our adventures, making memories with you is inevitable 😘👸🏼 Thanks for putting up with my moods and matching my weirdness. 😂😏 I can't wait to celebrate with you, Mr. Thomas- Love you more!! ❤️🎉🍾🎂👫💙 #cobran #mrsthomas #happybirthday
Between Lambert and Longacre
I believe home is about a feeling, but sometimes there can be a city connected to that feeling. Home is a feeling I get, but I still have that city that I'm from. That city that holds some of my favorite things and people.
It's that feeling when I drive over the Mississippi River. Or when I land on the runway at Lambert airport. It's when I stand underneath the Arch or on the lawn of the art museum and feel so small compared to this big world. It's when I go to Longacre park (yes, it will always be Longacre to me-sorry not sorry) and remember all the late night volleyball games and BBQ parties.
When I'm on those streets again, I'm amazed by the memories that flood my mind. I can remember every smell, every sunset over the lake, every late night conversation with those I held close. That's one of my favorite things about going home-remembering all those hilarious, heartfelt, loving memories. If I could stitch those memories into a blanket for the same effect, I would have done so years ago because that's how I have to describe it when words escape me-it's just like a big blanket wrapped around me, making me cry all the happy tears those ducts can handle.
That's the thing about having a beautiful hometown-even though I'm not there day-to-day anymore, I get to keep it hidden in my heart, and for me, that's exactly where it belongs. And where it will always stay.
Question before you go: can you meet me at The Muny?
Happy birthday to my main. She's insanely supportive, always pushing me into the next great adventure. She knows me way too well, always finishing my sentences and understanding my heart. She's there no matter what-if I need to vent about my horrible day or celebrate my latest accomplishment. She's driven, strong, giving, selfless, hard-working, hilarious, and she has the purest heart. I'm so lucky to have you as my best friend and pizza-eating partner for life. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JULIA!!!! ❤️💁🏼👯🎉😘😍🍕🍷
You Don’t Complete Me
In my twenty-one years on this earth, there is one important lesson I've finally learned: I have to be whole all on my own. Every couple has probably said it at least once in their relationship: "you complete me", "you make me whole", etc. Nothing terribly wrong with those phrases, I'm guilty of saying them as well so I understand the romantic context in which they are said. The issue comes when we take that statement as personal truth and attach self-worth to it. Not only have I been guilty of saying these phrases, but I'm guilty of attaching much more meaning to them than there should be. I began to believe this person actually made me a whole individual and never stopped to consider what would become of me if the person left. I guess I'd go back to being a fraction of a person until the next one came along that made me feel whole again? So messed up. Through much heartache and too many hard lessons, I realized I was whole all on my own, and no longer needed validation from someone else. I feel I should warn you if you want to be whole on your own-when you no longer need another person for validation, it will scare off the wrong people. Doesn't sound so bad, right? But these will probably be the people you thought were oh so right for you. It's not an easy pill to swallow. Once that sting is over, remember, YOU DON'T NEED VALIDATION FROM ANYONE. That's the whole point! When you reach that level of independence, you won't be too concerned about who comes along and who stays behind. You have yourself, and you're pretty fabulous, remember? Plus, when this change happens in your world, you'll notice you start finding your tribe-the real one. Quality always trumps quantity, babe. This is not a war cry to be single and isolated forever. You simply do you. It's great to find your tribe that loves and supports you no matter what. It's awesome to find people that challenge you to be the best version of you possible. It's also great to not need any of that if such a season comes up in your life. Even when you have your tribe, learn to encourage yourself for those times (85% of life) when they're busy. Learn to be your own biggest fan and cheerleader. Learn to be whole so that you can be the best version of you when someone comes along and wants to do daily life with you. You are not a fraction of a person. Go give 'em hell, sweetheart.
For #writingwednesday I received the news of another publication from Thought Catalog. Beyond grateful. #linkinbio #promisestomyfuturedaughter
Your Corner of My Heart
I'll remember you. Life is full of crazy adulting for both of us now. I almost always forget at least one thing when I go grocery shopping, but I'll remember the way you looked at me first thing in the morning while I made coffee. I forget why I walk into rooms, but I'll remember your sense of adventure that always made life interesting. I forget my internet passwords and have to reset them every couple weeks, but I'll remember the night we lost our voices at that concert of the cover band we didn't even know the name of. I forget multiple items on my every day to-do list, but I'll remember the warmth of your sweatshirt and your tired smile. I forget words to a song, but I'll remember you drumming on the steering wheel 94% of any road trip. I forget to go to bed early, but I'll remember your laugh that made me fall harder every time I heard it. I forget about makeup, but I'll remember making breakfast at 3 a.m. as a couple of delirious weirdos that simply didn't want sleep to separate them. I forget about that pile of laundry, but I'll remember the moment I first saw you and my world flipped. No matter how busy the world of adulting is, every year on the day we met, there's a noticeable stillness inside me that's full of you, like our little secret-part of me hopes that never leaves. I forget about real life at times, but it's in those moments that I remember how I loved you. I'll remember that those memories are all ours, but I'll also remember that I have to let you go. I'll remember you kindly, but know that my past is where you have to stay. Loving you was an art form all on its own-thank you for giving me the opportunity to experience that kind of love. Thank you for loving me right back all those years. Thank you for remembering with me. Thank you for letting me go too. No matter what I forget in this life, thank you for being the one thing I never will.
It’s Not You, It’s Them
There is nothing wrong with you. You have a heart that beats for bigger, deeper things-that’s beautiful. I know people have tried to tell you that you’re “too much” for this world. The way I see it, that’s not your problem-the world can catch up with you or not, but you keep going. You are inspiring-we need you here.
The world has tried to tell you that being emotionless and not caring about anyone or anything makes you cool. People will like you if you’re heartless. People will gravitate towards you if you’re an asshole towards their insecurities and vulnerability.
Excuse me, what? Am I the only person that wants nothing to do with people like the ones I just described? See how funny that is? You know exactly the kind of people I’m talking about-maybe you’ve even tried to become one in order to stop being “too much”. Then you read that description and may have started to have the same revelation I did.
I’ll never understand how that trend caught on so strongly in our culture. Don’t let it seep into your heart and mind. Don’t become just like those that told you you’re “too much”. Fight it by caring. Fight it with patience and kindness. Fight it by loving and giving.
Sweetheart, there is nothing wrong with you, there’s something insanely wrong with them and if anyone needs your amazing level of care, it’s those that tell you you're wrong. People that criticize you are just telling you they don't like themselves that much-even though you don't want to, pile more love on, that's how you win.
Please keep caring for your world like you do. Little by little, it will change the world outside of your own and we all need your kind of love and care. We need you here.
Grow Up to Be You
"I want to be like when I grow up." How many times have you heard that statement? Too many to count, I'm sure. I fear we get trapped in that mindset at times. Don't get me wrong, role models are great things to have in life and I'm not discouraging them in any way.
What I'm encouraging is finding yourself and being unapologetically that. I know that sounds cliche, but I mean being true to every last detail about yourself. Are you like Matthew McConaughey in The Wedding Planner and you only eat brown M&Ms because they have less artificial coloring? Great! Don't change that. (And yes, I've seen that movie way too many times.) Love even those little things about yourself.
Others may come and go, but you're stuck with yourself forever. Be your own best friend-you are pretty fabulous! You are your longest commitment. Yes, I know you've been with your significant other for oh so long and they just "define" you. Eh..not so much. Your parents? They've literally been there since the beginning, but they are still not your longest commitment.
Yes, these people may know quite a bit about you, but no one else will understand how you work better than you.
Let me just take this opportunity to insert a little side note: if you are still learning basic things about yourself-do not take to heart what someone else tries to tell you about yourself until you've learned the fullness of your own truth. Whether it's good or bad, don't absorb it yet. Learn about your own strengths and weaknesses yourself before someone else tries to tell you what they are. No matter what role they play in your life-that's not their job, don't leave that position open.
I could end this by telling you how beautiful and loved you are, but that's not always my place. I'm going to tell you to find those things out for yourself. I'm going to tell you to learn every quirk and ism you possess and embrace it. I'm going to tell you to be YOU when you grow up. It's the best occupation you could possibly obtain.
Sweetest 7:30 a.m. cuddles that exist. #monkey #sisters
The Pursuit
You know that Declaration of Independence we celebrate with BBQ and fireworks every year?
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."
Did you catch that last part? PURSUIT. No, happiness is not a right, but the pursuit is-the journey. We all seem to be a little late to that party. The men that wrote the law of our land figured out the concept of appreciating the journey long before our great great-grandparents were even thought of. They thought the journey was important enough to add into our unalienable rights (thanks guys).
This means that no matter how many times you fall, how big your dreams are, what school you go to, how much money you make, what others have tried to tell you about your future, you get to pursue your own happiness.
My advice? Take advantage of that beautiful right and NEVER stop pursuing. This is you we're talking about, and you deserve the absolute best. So don't stop pushing, don't stop chasing, don't stop pursuing.
I'll share a little secret: the happiness lies in the pursuit. One "destination" only causes you to reach for that bigger dream, and the next, and so on. It's the never-ending, breathtaking, beautiful cycle of life. When you master that you'll always be in pursuit, that's when contentment sets in. Life is always changing and evolving, with or without you along for the ride. Why not hop on and pursue all the things you couldn't have even dreamed of yourself? PURSUIT.
What does your heart beat for? What pulls you out of bed every morning? Who makes your world a better place? What dream can you not let go of? What fills your daydreams? Whatever it may be, it's your right to chase after it. So pursue with all you have in you. Our founding fathers wrote it into the law of our land, so many men and women have paid the ultimate price to protect that right along with the others we have. If nothing else, think of them and pursue.
Happiness lies in the pursuit. No one will ever be able to take that from you. Go get it, kid.
