DP: 2o iin ca2e anyone mii22ed iit
DP:you two are jealou2 of each other'2 2hiit and don't want two rii2k ruiiniing thiing2 by tryiing two fiix 2hiit 2o you have a more 2table friiend2hiip
DP:probably becau2e one or both of you can't cool your fuckiing jet2 for two 2econd2 and have an hone2t 2eriiou2 dii2cu22iion about anythiing
DP:two the fuckiing poiint where 2omeone el2e completely unrelated ha2 two 2tep iin and drag you iintwo a conver2atiion by the fuckiing horn2
DP:2o
DP:the que2tiion ii2
DP:ii2 thii2 friiend2hiip worth 2wallowiing priide and defen2iivene22 two fiix?
TA: 2ee ii wa2 pretty 2ure we were fiine but of cour2e ii want 2hiit two be better iif iit2 bad?
CA:ivve got it made in the shade -- wwhen to comes to askin for handouts. things wwhich, for the record, i am pretty fuckin sure you could get outta most a our friends too if you evver for some reason couldnt buy them wwith your infinite money generator. wwhat i dont havve is any wway to Earn anythin in life.
CA:i mean, im a seadwweller, ill get the fuck by, but im not goin anywwhere. im not goin to amount to anythin durin your lifetime. my ancestor quadded his wway to the top and has been wwanderin around havvin opinions evver since. wwhat IS his profession, you knoww him, can you think of one?
CA:theres nothin to fix im just frustrated.
TA: Hes on my board of directors, and was until this point the CEO, as well as being the founder and CEO of that library of his, and owning the titles to various intellectual properties. He was also one of the advisers to the court of miracles, I believe is the official title.
TA: You have time. You can be anything you want to be and do anything you want to do, all you have to do is decide you want that and its within your grasp, and you can fucking change your mind as many times as you need to to 'find yourself'
TA: Maybe if you weren't so busy trying to make yourself Caesurae 2.0 you'd have better luck.
CA:ha ha, thanks.
CA:an maybe then ill get a real job
DP:ii hope you can hear me 2iighiing from over here becau2e iit'2 2tarted
TA: I offered you a job
CA:wwas it a job or a pity handout
TA: A fucking Job. I want that movie made.
CA:yeah an ill fuckin wwork on it
TA: so get paid for your time you asswipe
DP:OII.
DP:diid you fuck2 forget about the panty twii2tiing part??
CA:i fuckin wwill just not the fuck tonight
TA: you're fucking sulking
CA:halt the fuckin presses are you sure
DP:do ii have two put you fucker2 iin tiimeout liike the grub2 you're actiing liike or are you two gonna take a fuckiing break two chiill out 2ome.
CA:first you wwant us to talk, noww you wwant us to not talk
CA:im gettin mixed signals here
TA: This is what us talking looks like
DP:ampora 2top playiing 2tupiid iit'2 embarra22iing two watch
DP:captor thii2 2topped beiing /talkiing/ ten miinute2 ago and turned iintwo 2hiit 2liingiing and don't play dumb eiither
DP:calm the fuck down je2u2 chrii2t. take a moment two dii2engaged. /breathe/ 2low iin 2low out.
DP:brii2tliing at each other doe2n't /help/. iit miight be 2omethiing normal but thii2 ii2 a 2eriiou2 dii2cu22iion between two people who giive fuck2 about the other
DP:2liingiing kniive2 at each other'2 button2 ii2 counter productiive and only get2 temper2 flaiiriing and logiic jumpiing out a fuckiing wiindow
DP:2o /breathe/. take a few miinute2. then you can 2tart talkiing agaiin when the momentum ii2 gone.
CA:you keep tellin me to stop playin stupid, an i think at this point youre just callin me stupid
TA: 2top tryiing two 2tart a fiight wiith hiim two deflect
CA:oh my god. really guys?
CA:both of you noww.
DP:/calm ampora/.
TA: ii need more coffee for thii2
DP:then go get iit iit'll giive hiim tiime two fuckiing chiill.
TA: iif my 2iignal drop2 iit2 becau2e thii2 thiing 2tiill ii2nt completely out of te2tiing yet
CA:please tell me more about howw im doin an wwhat my lines are
DP:iif you're gonna piick a fiight wiith me two get out of puttiing effort iintwo your relatiion2hiip2 liike you 2hould be could you plea2e u2e 2hiit that wa2n't old when ii wa2 four.
CA:wwhat fuckin effort
CA:wwe wwere talkin
DP:when you have a 2ociial connectiion wiith 2omeone be iit friiend2hiip clade quad ally whatever problem2 are goiing two arii2e
DP:iit'2 not a 2merch agaiin2t you and your actiion2 iit'2 ju2t what happen2 when two people iinteract
DP:problem2 eat away at a relatiion2hiip untiil iit get2 two briittle two 2urviive a fiight and the relatiion2hiip ii2 de2troyed
DP:2o what you and the other per2on have two do iit maiintiinance on the relatiion2hiip
DP:talk about problem2 fiind 2olutiion2 and compromii2e2
DP:that'll keep iit goiing and the more you do that the ea2iier iit get2 'cau2e you get u2ed two each other
DP:what you're 2nubbiing your no2e at ii2 2iimple friiend2hiip maiintiinance
DP:there'2 ten2iion between you two over 2omethiing that'2 not goiing two go away any tiime 2oon
DP:2o you need two fiind a compromii2e and an2wer2 two what problem2 you /can/ fiix
DP:pretendiing everythiing'2 fiine and 2ulkiing iin your piile of problem2 ii2 doiing none of tho2e thiing2
DP:and ii2 2ayiing p clearly after 2o many tiime2 that you don't actually care about the health of thii2 friiend2hiip
DP:'cau2e you'd help fiix iit iif you diid
CA:an there i wwas, explainin wwhy i wwas """sulkin"""
TA: he2 ju2t brii2tly lay off hiim
CA:god. him or me
TA: ii wa2 talkiing two hiim diickwad
DP:hiim beiing brii2tly ii2 the problem.
DP:when are you two gonna iiron thii2 out iif all he ha2 two do ii2 brii2tle a liittle and you drop iit?
DP:or iif he hone2tly doe2 brii2tle every tiime anyone get2 near a feeliing?
DP:then what?
DP:you guy2 are gonna iimplode
DP:you can be pii22ed and 2tiill have a ciiviil dii2cu22iion
DP:ii 2ure the fuck am
TA: ii'm not even pii22ed?
TA: look ii cant make hiim pay more attentiion two you or giive you a cool iinheretence, ii'm not the bo22 of hiim, and ii would have been an iidiiot two refu2e the legacy my ance2tor left two me, what do you even want me two do eriidan
CA:eridan ampora, bristly, newws at 11.
DP:of cour2e you're not pii22ed you don't 2ee any rea2on two
DP:he ha2n't done anythiing other than refu2e two talk about hii2 problem2 and make a hole iin the ground two 2ulk iin
DP:and you're not gonna get pii22ed whiile he fiill2 iit up wiith biitterne22 and jealou2y and 2narl2 untiil he 2nap2
DP:and ii have no fuckiing iidea what that'2 gonna look liike wiith you guy2 but iif there ii2n't at lea2t one fataliity ii am gonna be /2hocked/
CA:your faith in me is amazin. im flattered.
CA:is that wwhat this is? you think im unstable enough to fuckin snap an start killin people for no goddamn reason?
CA:sol, if fuckin anythin, seein as this wwas his idea an its you twwo sayin im fuckin sulkin, maybe lay off about the real job shit an howw much better i obvviously someoww havve it. ivve got enough problems wwith wwhat im doin wwith my future right noww.
DP:no ii don't
DP:ii'm 2ayiing ii've 2een thii2 before
DP:and ii would giive a hell of a lot two have had 2omeone 2tep iin and 2mack u2 and tell u2 we were beiing 2tupiid and two ju2t fuckiing /talk/
DP:iit'2 not goiing two be for no rea2on there'2 alway2 a rea2on
DP:but
DP:yeah
DP:ii don't want you two two go through that iif ii can help iit
TA: maybe 2top actiing liike you dont have anythiing goiing for you at all and wankiing two your own mii2ery
TA: al2o iit wa2 a fuckiing joke about how you 2pend all your tiime iin the liibrary fuckiing 2hiit
CA:"theres alwways a reason"?
DP:no one 2nap2 for no rea2on there'2 alway2 2ome underlyiing cau2e that 2piider2 out iintwo a 2tre22ful tangle of ten2iion
DP:...and that iinclude2 every eriidan 2ollux hornlockiing that exploded that ii've ever 2een
TA: ii'm pretty 2ure the wor2t thiing ed2 ever goiing two do ii2 wriite horriible friiendfiictiion about me and hiim fuckiing and get iit publii2hed
CA:no, itll be if i let arlequin pay me to wwrite it about him an my ancestor.
TA: ii want two 2ee gz'2 face iif you take hiim up on iit
CA:yeah... wwell fuckin see.
CA:thats a career choice im dodgin right noww.
CA:hes offered.
CA:that is wwhat my future looks like. wwritin porn about peoples ancestors, For The Ancestors
DP:yeah and that'2 the 2ort of thiing ii thought about miine and four people diied.
DP:but fiine
DP:iif you're all hunky dory and iin magiical moonbeam land and don't want any 2ort of help for the problem you're both 2o iintent on iignoriing for a2 long a2 you can ii can't make you take iit
TA: ii mean ???? thii2 ii2 talkiing, what are you lookiing for u2 two 2ay here
TA: al2o beiing a wriiter can be pretty po2h, you could get famou2, werent you talkiing the other niight about doiing 2ome hii2toriical drama2?
CA:im glad im not the only one confused here.
CA:... i might, sol. im still figurin it all out.
DP:you guy2 take the broad defiiniitiion2 when you want and the narrow one2 when they fiit better and tbh iit'2 fru2tratiing a2 hell
DP:all of thii2 ha2 been incrediibly fru2tratiing a2 hell
TA: are you 2ure you dont want any company twoniight ii could briing 2ome really chee2y 2hiit over two watch
TA: ii hone2tly dont under2tand what we're 2uppo2ed two be doiing wrong?
CA:do you still think im sulkin
TA: ii mo2tly thiink you're up2et and miight benefiit from company
DP:you two have 2kiipped completely over the part where you actually prod at the underlyiing problem2
DP:remember?
DP:the part where you two can't acknowledge there wa2 hurt happeniing?
DP:or fiind a way 2o that doe2n't happen agaiin?
DP:and now you're on goiing back two beiing perfectly normal friiend2 liike there wa2n't thii2 gapiing hole iin thiing2 that neiither of you wanna touch
DP:and iif you're fiine wiith that ii'm out
DP:fuck ii'm halfway out now eiither way
DP:ii get enough of thii2 2ort of 2hiit from enough other people ii don't need iit from barely friiend2 two
TA: dude ii liiterally dont know what you want me two do
TA: you have thii2 expectatiion of 2omethiing happeniing but liike
TA: you've forgotten two 2hare what iit ii2?
TA: we're not beiing avoiidant, iit ii2nt a 2iituatiion we can change
TA: horriible thiing2 2tiill happened two hiim, ii 2tiill got more lucky than any troll de2erve2 two be?
TA: liike. what are we 2uppo2ed two do?
DP:ii liiterally cannot thiink of a way ii haven't already freakiing phra2ed iit
DP:ii never 2aiid magiically fiix the external 2iituatiion ii 2aiid p flatly that you're 2tuck wiith that
DP:2hiit happened between you two toe2 got 2tepped on iit 2hould take liike ten miinute2 two fiix iit but iit'2 taken fiive hour2 an extra per2on and you /2tiill/ haven't gotten /anywhere/ clo2e
DP:you can't even briing up that a joke hurt wiithout iit turniing iintwo a productiion but 2omehow thii2 ii2 perfectly normal and everythiing ii2 fiine
CA:im overreactin an "sulkin" about nothin apparently, an evvery time the convversation heads that wway you shut it dowwn cause wwere assholes an you think im a hairs breadth awway from snappin an takin half the block wwith me, wwhich is flatterin ivve got to say
CA:an evvery time i try to fuckin let it go you start harpin on me about talkin about it?
DP:you keep 2hoviing tho2e word2 iin my mouth and you're gonna lo2e fiinger2 ampora
CA:an evvery time i ask wwhat you expect me to say you call me stupid an say im tryin to pick a fight
CA:ah, right, my mistake
CA:some a those wwords wwere for his mouth, by the by
TA: ii'm 2orry the thiing happened, and that your ance2tor thiink2 he need2 two toughen you up for beiing a 2ea dweller or whatever he2 doiing
DP:oh 2ure they were
DP:'cau2e he'2 the one you're iin2ii2tiing thiink2 you're goiing two take down half a block iif he breathe2 wrong
DP:yeah ii'm fuckiing out
DP:ii'm done wiith your 2hiit for an entiire liifetiime and then 2ome
DP:take your wiiggler ankle niip2 and fuck off
-- deterministpalindrome [DP] has left the chat! --
TA: well that ju2t happened
CA:yep
TA: anyhow your ance2tor makiing you do everythiing the hard way ju2t becau2e you liive longer ii2 kiinda bull2hiit
TA: and pretty hemii2t
CA:... thanks
TA:..but liike you al2o act liike you want two do everythiing the hard way?
TA: iidk
TA: ii really do want the re2earch
TA: and the offer for chee2ey moviie2 ii2 2tiill up
CA:yeah, an it sounds fun to do
CA:im just pissy tonight
CA:an still debatin the movvie offer
TA: 2ome niight2 are liike that, ii know ii want two biite everyone who come2 near me 2ometiime2
TA: ii'd offer you a board po2iitiion but you liiterally dont know anythiing about electroniic2 liike
TA: at all
CA:if the entire noble court wwas an underrepresented market i could vvoice all a their terribly fuckin important opinions that they just dont havve the money an influence to spread, evverywhere, all the time
TA: oh god2
TA: 2pare me plea2e
TA: ..ii'm 2orry the navy diidnt work out
TA: you've alway2 been a fanta2tiic 2tratagii2t and you would have done well
CA:arlequins said he understands, but hes also said hed be disappointed if i flunked out
CA:but hey you knoww
CA:maybe nobody too important wwill think im a wwaste an a cowward for that
CA:ww/e
TA: ii'm pretty 2ure thii2 doe2nt count a2 flunkiing out
CA:shrug
CA:if i dont go back wwhats the difference
CA:listen. ill lay off talkin about howw wwell off you are if you do the same.
CA:an you maybe dont gotta rub it in howw much you an me as a thing isnt happenin, unless im activvely hittin on you
CA:i mean, i knoww. trust me, i knoww.
TA: ii ju2t get really exciited
TA: what am ii 2uppo2ed two tea2e you about iif iit2 not gettiing a quad wiith me?
TA: .. ii'm 2orry
TA: ..do you actually hate me or are you ju2t liike
TA: really enamoured wiith 2erendiipiity
CA:i wwouldnt a kept tryin if i didnt
TA: ..ii'm 2orry ed
TA: ii ju2t. ii dont hate you, you're a great friiend and ii ju2t
TA: ii'm 2orry
CA:yeah i knoww, thanks
TA: ii could 2top playfiightiing all the tiime?
CA:maybe ill be eqs fuckin rebound someday, can you imagine
CA:"you hogged all the sollux" "fuck you" "wwell, if you insist"
CA:an then he inducts me into the space program
CA:by wwhich i mean throwws me into orbit.
TA: god2
TA: he wouldnt though, he2 a paciifii2t
TA: gettiing hiim two fiight wiith me ii2 a paiin iin the a22
TA: ii've been tryiing two te2t the liimiit2 of the new p2ii triick they were talkiing about onliine but ii'm pretty 2ure he2 goiing ea2y becau2e he2 afraiid ii'll break
CA:a lot a people wwould be real put out if he snapped you in half
TA: that2 not why he doe2nt do iit
CA:includin him
TA: ii put my fii2t through the punchiing bag ed
CA:...
CA:did you hurt your hand
TA: no
CA:usually that hurts your hand a bit dependin on the punchin bag
CA:you need to vvideo that shit for science
TA: 2ure ii could do that, ii'm not 2ure iit2 a2 iimpre22iive iif you cant 2ee all the thiing2 ii can 2ee
TA: waiit ii know 2omethiing that wiill completely 2um up the new triick let me get iit 2et up
> Bee: Is anyone going to question you trying to hang a huge metal ball on a chain from the ceiling in the gym or stop you, the ceo of this company, from doing it?
> Bee: No, probably not
CA:alright
> Bee: Time passes
CA:you can cmon ovver if you still wwant, sol
> Bee: You are convincing someone to video tape this and someone to stand at the other end and swing the ball at you vigorously. Yes this is going on grubtube.
> So much uncertainty. It's a higher up blue that decides to help make it happen.
> The bodyguards are not sure about this plan unless they've seen him practicing on the punching bag.
TA: [video link]
>Video> Sollux stands there just below the anchor of a chain connected to a wrecking ball. The ball is being held high by the blue. Sollux holds out a finger- the ball swings down moving fast and touches the tip of his claw and shatters as he stops momentum incrmentally rather than absorbing all of it at once, it falls at his feet as it deforms and splits and goes to pieces.
CA:sol wwhat the fuck
TA: ;)
TA: ii hope that goe2 viiral
CA:wwhat the fuck
CA:thats some photoshop shit right there
TA: nope
CA:of fuckin course its gonna go vviral theyre wwatchin all our accounts
TA: let me clean up here then ii'll be over
CA:shit. alright, ill let you knoww wwhen you hit each digit mark on your vvideo.
TA: bo22 :)
> Bee: help clean up this mess, thank everyone .. give a couple of tips just for putting up with his nonsense.
> Bafflement but good humor abound. Just another day at Goldtech.
> Bee: tell your guards you want to go to the castle and hang with ed
> Everyone can probably arrange that, if the docterrors allow it. They are sufficiently used to highbloods -- and Eridan is good enough at strategic moping -- that it can probably get put together.
> Sharp: The face scar is healing well, but uncovered. He's tidily put together enough that it and the sling are the only sign something is wrong with him, and he'll sit on the side that doesn't force Sollux to stare at the scar in his peripheral vision all evening. He's tired and low-key, but definitely ruefully impressed by the video.
> Bee: He may have brought some things specifically for Ed to chew on to help with itchy teeth coming in, and he definitely brough movies for them to tear apart and laugh at.
> Sharp: They are sorely (ba dum tsh) appreciated, and he ends the night in a decent enough mood to sincerely thank Sollux for coming over.
> Bee: Sollux enjoyed himself :) it was fun, and he can probably use a break now and then anyhow
> Sharp: Sooo..... the thing he did to the wrecking ball. Can he do that to People?
> Bee: people are probably too squishy to shatter?
> Sharp: Probably. .. ... .. Squint.
> Bee: .. hit his hand, go on do it.
> Sharp: Hahahahaha, No? No. Bye sol, g'light.
> Bee: Big grin. Good light Ed.
> Sharp: Rude gesture and noise.
> Bee: snickering.
romaincrisis
dededos
discoholicmusic
tangentwithtanner
jbbartram-illu