Before I start, more than anything else, I must tell you about the nightmare.
Perhaps it has nothing to do with the rest of my story, or it may seem like something stupid to you, but, for me, it is the first significant moment of my life. I say “significant” because it is the very first dream I remember having, and the impression it left resulted in a fear of darkness that marked me for years.
I was very young; I couldn’t have been older than six or seven years old.
At that time our home was still under construction and my bedroom was far from my parents´. I slept in the room under the roof, which I loved and later was transformed into a little library.
The room was not very big and I remember it was full of boxes and flat packed furniture. Unassembled things were put here and there and my toys and books were also all over the place. Only my bed and a little closet were the proof that it was actually a bedroom and not just the storage room.
I assure you I was never a fearful child. I went to the attic alone every night after dinner and my father would kiss me goodnight at the foot of the stairs.
I read well for my age and I enjoyed solitude. It was easy to find me at night, tucked in bed with a book in my hands. Sometimes I was not even reading, just letting my imagination run wild until sleep defeated me.
One night I woke up in the morning. It was early summer but the high humidity made it stifling.
I sat in my bed, confused. I felt like if I had been dreaming, but couldn´t remember anything. I rubbed my eyes trying to escape from sleep. I wanted to wake up and drink a glass of water.
My eyes were still a little clouded but I finally started recognizing all the familiar things around me even if I was still in the darkness, the soft blue light of dawn not really illuminating anything yet.
He was squatting between the boxes and furniture and looking at me with a strange intense expression that slowly softened, changed until it was transformed into a friendly, almost tender, glance.
I still don’t know the reason why I didn’t panic at that moment.
He was young. Beautiful. His face had slightly angular features framed by long dark hair.
His clothes were different from anything I’d seen before, giving him an exotic look, like one of the characters from my books. He looked strange, human but unreal. And even as a child I thought he was, in fact, very attractive.
While I was staring at him in awe, he moved carefully to my bed, as if he did not mean to scare me. He held my ankles, softly lifting my feet and making me lay down again.
His touch was a little cold but, given the weather, it was nice, and I quickly forgot any discomfort and felt better. Refreshed. A strange feeling of relief invading me now that he was close.
He kept his hands under the sheets and caressed my feet tenderly, almost…motherly. It tickled, so I laughed and without looking at me, he smiled to himself and kissed my toes mumbling some words I didn’t understand.
Stretching his arms up, he ran his fingers along my legs and finally rested his hands over my chest.
I could not fathom the reason, but the longer he touched me, the better I felt.
Relaxed, I started to doze off again but tried to fight against it with all my might. His presence was so fascinating I couldn’t let him go back to the weird dream he had surely escaped from. To prevent him from vanishing once I closed my eyes, I held his wrists tightly to my chest.
He looked pleased and smiled again, this time to me. His dark eyes shone bright in the dark like the eyes of a dog and I felt suddenly shy and closed mine. He got into my bed, held me close to him and started singing in a sweet low voice, almost whispering against my ear.
Sure that I was somehow in the arms of a magical creature, I surrendered to his lullaby and fell deeply asleep.
I suddenly woke up again shrouded in pain with a huge weight on me.
I didn’t know for how long had I been sleeping but something big and black was crushing me. It was a shadow, but also not. It was physical, real, covered in black fur and smelt like a wet dog. I couldn’t breathe.
I felt a long cold needle piercing my chest and smothering me. My lungs were freezing and burning at the same time. I started kicking and punching with all the strength I had. I fought desperately but that thing, that kind of animal, didn’t release me.
When I finally got to scream, I swear I did it at the top of my lungs until my throat ached like if I had drunk liquid fire.
The sensation of being under a jet of cold water ran through my body, I felt dizzy and wet myself.
Unable to see anything or find the light switch, I thought I was about to die. I grabbed fistfuls of black fur and pulled as strong as I could to no avail, trying to make the thing fall from the bed.
In that moment I heard my father calling my name, his voice full of concern was like a miracle and gave me the power to start screaming again.
The animal, suddenly, let me go then and I thought I’d seen it hiding under my bed.
My father came into my room, worried and scared from my cries, and turned on all the lights.
I was now crying so hard I could barely breathe; let alone say a word to explain what has happened.
I remember him taking me in his arms and carrying me out of the bedroom, but I only calmed down a little after he gave me a bath, put on a clean pajamas and assured me many times that it had all been a nightmare.
I couldn’t bear to go back to the attic nonetheless, but he insisted until I gave in.
My dad asked me to go with him to inspect, so he could demonstrate to me that there were not any monsters at all, telling me I just had have a bad dream.
He walked around the room, moved all the boxes, even the bed. He also opened the closet and smiled at me reassuringly, while I stayed at the door mortally scared, afraid that the animal was hidden and planning on attack him the way it had attacked me.
I guess I would have finally calmed down for good if I hadn’t seen his worried expression when he saw my sheets, and after examining the fabric, taking a closer look at my pillow, he had insisted me to repeat where exactly had the animal bitten me.
Something had been there. There was black fur on the white cotton. I saw it. He did too.
Later, when it was morning and the light and the sun made me feel more confident, I gave him a detailed description of my magical dark prince but he didn’t pay any attention, telling me again I should not worry at all. A nightmare was a nightmare. It had not been real and could not hurt me in any way anymore.
Part of me wanted to believe him thought part of me still doubted. The Doctor coming to our home that evening helped a lot to calm me, repeating me the same words my parents did.
He gave me a pair of injections while they expressed their concern for the possibility of a big rat biting me that night.
Many years passed until I was able to sleep alone again and still today I’m scared of black dogs and rats.
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So, here it is!!!!
I would like to thank @mokomaiden for being the sweetest and most helpful beta ever, and @mybrotherthinksiminsane for helping me with the translation and support me (as much as @deliciest and @noirgraphite did) all the times I panicked over this and sent them archives full of the most stupid mistakes XD.
As I´ve told you before, english is not my mother language and translate this tale from spanish to english is quite a bussiness.
The english version is a little different than the spanish, I had to make minor changes to keep the rythm I wanted.
I hope you guys enjoy it. If you feel like sharing your thoughts, my inbox is all yours.
I will update the second chapter (in spanish) on monday and start to work with the translation to english inmediatly.
Thank you a lot for reading, and if you like this shit, please share!
(I´m so nervous I just want to die you know??? SHARING IS SO TERRIFYING OMG)
